Quick Help: 10 Ways to Avoid Freaking Out

The Challenge

When strong emotions hit—whether it’s anxiety before a big presentation at work or anger during an argument with someone you love—it can feel like you’re out of control. Your thoughts race, and you may say something you’ll regret.

While you can’t always control what triggers intense emotions, you can develop simple skills to calm yourself quickly—even in the heat of the moment. Here are 10 strategies from experts (look for the two or three that speak to you most):

1. Acknowledge what you feel. When an emotion rises up, pause and accept it instead of pushing it away—even if you can’t name it yet. Do a quick body scan for clues (anxiety might show up as butterflies in your stomach, anger as tightness in your chest); noticing and identifying these signals keeps them from intensifying, starting you on the path to greater calm.
2. Release physical tension. Notice where stress is building up in your body and consciously relax those areas: Soften your face, unclench your jaw, roll your shoulders, shake out your hands. Each release helps quiet your nervous system and ease emotional strain.
3. Breathe through your nose. Take a slow, deep breath through your nose for five seconds, hold for one, then exhale through your nose for five (repeat this several times). Nasal breathing lets your lungs take in oxygen more efficiently and counters the fast, shallow breathing that fuels your body’s fight-or-flight response.
4. Pause and reset. When strong emotions like fear or anger arise (for instance, during a road-rage incident or a heated moment with a child), stop and count slowly to 30. This brief pause helps your body and mind settle and gives you the space to respond thoughtfully rather than react.
5. Focus on one task at a time. In the face of overwhelm—whether you’re struggling to meet a work deadline or were just in a car accident—break down what you need to do into small steps and focus on just the next one. Giving your full attention to one task at a time keeps your brain from overloading, lowers your stress hormones, and helps you respond calmly instead of panicking.
6. Dig deeper. Once your body has settled, focus on understanding and processing the heightened emotion itself: Ask yourself what might have triggered it, looking for recent events, memories, or repeating patterns. Understanding surface-level and deeper causes (for example, realizing that your irritation with a coworker is actually about stress from a fight with your partner) clarifies the source of your emotion.
7. Label your emotions. Put your feelings into words—say them aloud, write them in a journal, or quietly note them to yourself. Using precise language (for example, “anxious,” “overwhelmed,” or “fearful” instead of just “stressed”) clarifies your thoughts and helps you decide how to respond.
8. Express your emotions. Once you’ve named what you’re feeling, give it a safe outlet: talk with a friend, write reflectively, or create something artistic. Constructive expression helps you release pent-up energy, prevents rumination, and restores perspective.
9. Take action. Regulate your feelings by doing something concrete—go for a walk, practice yoga, spend a few minutes in nature, or help someone. These practices ground you in the present, shift focus away from spiraling thoughts, and boost feelings of connection.
10. Build your stress tolerance. Practice recreating physical sensations that you experience when you’re stressed or panicked—for instance, do jumping jacks for 30 seconds to create a faster heartbeat. A few minutes of this each day, over several days, acclimates your body to uncomfortable sensations and reminds you that they’re temporary, making it easier to stay calm when they occur in real life.

Where to Begin

Which of these strategies feels most doable to try first? Pick one or two that resonate with you and practice them this week—whether it’s releasing tension by unclenching your jaw and rolling your shoulders or counting to 30 before responding. Over time, these small practices can help you feel more equipped to handle whatever emotions come your way.

Resources

• Image: Yuganov Konstantin
• BBC: How to calm yourself in tricky situations
• Calm: 10 ways to calm your mind in stressful situations
• NPR: How to stay calm in emergency situations
• The Atlantic: How to Stop Freaking Out
• The New York Times: 5 Simple Steps to Calm Yourself Down
• The Washington Post: 5 ways to reduce stress in your body
• USA Today: A clinical psychologist reveals three ways to calm down when you’re stressed out

For additional insight into managing your emotions and building inner calm, check out Shortform's guides to: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, and Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn.