For decades, “work-life balance” has been held up as the gold standard of a well-lived life. But a growing number of experts and professionals argue that the concept is not only unattainable—it might actually be working against us.
Continue reading to understand why some say work-life balance is a myth and what they recommend instead.
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Work-Life Balance Is a Recent Obsession
The idea of balancing work and personal life is newer than most people realize. As Gary Keller explains in The ONE Thing, for most of human history, work and life were inseparable—survival required near-constant labor. It wasn’t until the industrial age, when people began working for employers, that labor unions and laws pushed back on those demands. The concept of work-life balance itself didn’t emerge until the 1980s, when women entered the workforce in large numbers and faced the dual pressures of career and home life. By the 1990s, men were grappling with those same tensions, and the rise of technology—which erased the boundary between the office and home—deepened the craving for balance.
Is Balance Even Possible?
So, is work-life balance a myth? Despite how widely the concept is accepted, many are skeptical that true balance is achievable—or even desirable. Highly successful commentator and former White House Press Secretary Dana Perino acknowledges in her book I Wish Someone Had Told Me… that she doesn’t consider herself to have a healthy work-life balance. She argues that society’s obsession with balance creates unnecessary anxiety. Her view: What feels balanced to one person might feel overwhelming or insufficient to another. She believes that balance is deeply personal, and no universal recipe exists.
Keller goes further, arguing that a truly balanced life—one in which no area is neglected—is in fact a myth. In his view, striving for balance actively prevents extraordinary success, because exceptional achievement requires allowing some things to remain unaddressed so you can concentrate on what matters most.
When Passion Replaces the Question Entirely
Some experts bypass the balance debate altogether. In Tim Ferriss’s Tribe of Mentors, design expert Debbie Millman argues that, if you’re truly pursuing your passion, the question of work-life balance becomes irrelevant; the work itself will feel like all you need.
In Mastery, Robert Greene points to people who reach the peak of creative excellence. They’re often consumed by their craft, deliberately choosing to pursue it at the expense of other opportunities. Chess and tai chi champion Josh Waitzkin offers a vivid example in The Art of Learning. Growing up, he chose chess above all else and learned to put up with mess and clutter (what he calls “tolerating chaos”) in order to stay focused on skill-building. Keller uses this same logic when he suggests it’s perfectly fine to leave the dishes for later.
The Risks of Extremism
Not everyone can or should center their life entirely around work. As Perino suggests, how much importance you place on balance is a personal matter. For many people, single-minded devotion to work carries serious risks.
Some experts warn that following your passion doesn’t immunize you against burnout; in fact, relentless focus can accelerate it.
There’s also an identity risk. If you define yourself entirely by your work, a layoff or career disruption can trigger a genuine crisis. Being able to feel good about who you are outside of work isn’t a luxury; it’s a form of protection. This is why some experts argue that hobbies and personal pursuits deserve to be as central to your life as your career, so that, if something goes wrong professionally, you have something solid to stand on.
For those committed to their careers, Keller identifies a common trap: We tend to swing between extremes, working obsessively for stretches and then overcorrecting by neglecting work to attend to personal life. Either way, we end up feeling like we don’t quite “have a life.” The problem isn’t ambition; it’s the lack of intentional management.
A More Realistic Framework: Counterbalance
Since he believes work-life balance is a myth, Keller proposes counterbalancing instead—shifting focus to whatever demands your attention most, one area at a time, while staying aware of everything else. His framework distinguishes between work and personal life:
- At work, go long. Extraordinary results require sustained, focused commitment to your most important priority. Other work tasks will inevitably go unaddressed for stretches of time, and that’s acceptable.
- In your personal life, go short. Unlike work, your personal relationships and well-being cannot be neglected for long without causing damage that’s difficult or impossible to repair. Keller recommends switching your attention back to personal priorities frequently, ensuring that nothing important goes unattended.
James Patterson captures this distinction elegantly in Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas. Imagine juggling five balls representing work, family, health, friends, and integrity. Work is a rubber ball—drop it, and it bounces. The others are glass—handle them carelessly, and they shatter.
Additional Strategies
As mentioned above, Keller points out that high achievers don’t always know how to manage their lives while pursuing the extraordinary. Similarly, Perino acknowledges that intentional choices and clear boundaries can help prevent burnout. She recommends prioritizing your well-being (which shouldn’t be postponed or delegated) by scheduling personal time and prepaying for activities such as the gym to make follow-through more likely. She also offers these tips:
- Set limits on after-hours work communication.
- Accept only one weeknight social commitment. Evaluate requests based on whether an activity is enjoyable, profitable, or supports something you care about.
- Be fully present in whichever sphere of life you’re in at a given moment.
Political strategist Jessica Tarlov adds a useful pressure-valve for moments of stress: Apply a five-year filter. Ask yourself whether what worries you now will still matter in five years. If not, consciously let it go.
Time management expert Laura Vanderkam offers a complementary, more granular lens in 168 Hours. Rather than thinking in terms of days or years, she suggests you examine how you spend each week (168 hours) and evaluate whether the split reflects your priorities. Her recommendations:
- Spend roughly 30 hours a week on work that directly benefits your career, focusing deeply during that time.
- At home, your family represents a unique strength (only you can be a parent to your children and a partner to your spouse). Limit housework to free up time for what matters most.
- For personal well-being, identify one to three activities (including exercise) that you can dedicate up to 10 hours per week to since no one else can maintain your health for you.
Finding What Works for You
So, is work-life balance a myth? Perhaps it’s best understood as a pointless pursuit. Since balance is personal, it follows that the strategies for managing it should be, too. There’s no single system that works for everyone. Mix and match what resonates. Tarlov’s five-year filter works well alongside Vanderkam’s weekly accounting. Keller’s counterbalancing approach suits those in demanding careers; Perino’s boundary-setting may suit others better.
What the experts agree on, across the board, is this: Waiting passively for balance to arrive on its own is not a strategy. Whether you choose to pursue counterbalance, prioritize your passion, or build careful boundaries around your time, the key is to make conscious, deliberate choices and to revisit them as your life evolves.
