Is work-life balance a myth, or is it simply misunderstood? The truth is that there’s no one-size-fits-all formula for balancing your professional and personal lives—what works for one person might feel completely wrong for another. Rather than chasing an elusive ideal, the key is understanding that balance is deeply personal and constantly evolving.
In I Wish Someone Had Told Me…, Dana Perino helps you rethink how to approach work-life balance. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed by competing demands or simply curious about whether balance is even necessary, this article has what you need to create a sustainable approach that fits your unique needs.
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There’s No Recipe for Work-Life Balance
Throughout your career, it can be challenging to balance your professional and personal lives. According to Perino, work-life balance is highly personal and evolves over time. What feels balanced to one person may be overwhelming or insufficient to another. Moreover, everyone struggles with managing competing demands on their time, regardless of their situation. Perino acknowledges that she doesn’t consider herself to have a healthy work-life balance and argues that society’s obsession with balance creates unnecessary anxiety. Essentially, while a work-balance may be a myth to some people, it isn’t for others.
| Is Work-Life Balance Necessary? While Perino downplays the importance of achieving work-life balance, design expert Debbie Millman takes this idea further. In Tribe of Mentors (Tim Ferriss), she argues that if you’re truly pursuing your passion, you’ll have no reason to worry about maintaining a work-life balance. The work itself will feel like all you need in life. However, as Perino suggests, your interpretation of balance and how important it is to you is personal, so centering your work might not work for you. Some experts argue it’s wrong to think that following your passion immunizes you against burnout—focusing single-mindedly on your work can lead to burnout instead. Further, if you define yourself entirely by your work, you’ll suffer an identity crisis if you’re laid off or your job is otherwise disrupted. If you can’t feel good about who you are outside of work, losing the chance to work will make you panic. Therefore, consider making your hobbies and other non-work activities as central to your life as your work is so you can cope if something goes wrong professionally. |
Though Perino says a recipe for work-life balance doesn’t exist, you can prevent burnout by making intentional choices and setting boundaries. However, remain flexible enough to handle the natural fluctuations of professional and personal demands. Perino suggests prioritizing what matters most to you and adopting practical habits that support your priorities:
- Prioritize your well-being. You can’t postpone or delegate your health, so be sure to maintain healthy habits. For example, set aside personal time on your calendar and prepay for the gym and your hobbies so you’re more likely to attend.
- Set boundaries to protect your work and personal lives. Set limits on after-hours work communication. Accept only one weeknight social commitment. Focus deeply when at work, and be fully present with your family when at home.
- Consciously choose what to spend time on. Evaluate requests on your time based on whether the activity is enjoyable, profitable, or supports a cause you care about. This ensures you’re spending time on what truly matters to you.
Additionally, political strategist Jessica Tarlov suggests putting things in perspective by using a five-year filter when you’re stressed or worried. Ask yourself whether the issue that worries you will still matter five years from now, and if not, consciously choose to release that concern.
| Mixing and Matching Your Way to Balance Since work-life balance is all about flexibility, you might apply the same approach to the techniques that support your balance: Mix and match what experts suggest until you find what works for you. For instance, putting things into a five-year perspective is helpful, but you can still benefit from zooming in more closely. In 168 Hours, Laura Vanderkam suggests reflecting on how you spend each 168-hour block of your time—one week—and deciding whether it’s supporting your priorities. To try Vanderkam’s approach, add up how many hours you spent on sleep, work, family time, social media, your goals, and so on during a 168-hour period. Then, reflect on whether you’re satisfied with the time split between these activities. If you’re not spending enough time on work, your personal life, or your wellbeing, see if there’s a category in which you can cut down time. Alternatively, you can assess how many hours you’re spending on activities that are enjoyable, profitable, or meaningful to you—and reduce the time you spend on activities that don’t fit any of these categories. If you’re struggling with choosing which activity to reduce or eliminate, then consider asking Tarlov’s question: Will it matter in five years?After analyzing how you’re currently spending your time, Vanderkam says you should reallocate it according to your unique strengths in each sphere of your life: 1. At work, spend most of your time on tasks that utilize your unique professional strengths because they’ll impact your career goals the most. She recommends aiming to spend 30 hours a week on work that’ll directly benefit your career progression—and you must focus during this time, otherwise it doesn’t count. Conversely, limit the time you spend on tasks that won’t help you achieve your career goals, even if they’re part of your job description. 2. At home, spend most of your time and energy on your children and partner. Your family is your unique strength because only you can be a parent to your children or a partner to your spouse. In addition to setting limits on after-work communication and social commitments that creep into your family time, Vanderkam recommends you limit the time you spend doing housework. 3. As for your well-being, Vanderkam says you also need to prioritize your unique strengths to make the most of your leisure time. Find one to three activities you’d like to spend up to 10 hours on weekly, making sure to include exercise. Vanderkam notes that it’s both essential to your health and a unique strength because nobody else can do it for you. |
Check Out More on the Lie Behind a Work-Life Balance
If you want to learn more about the work-life balance myth or just the concept in general, take a look at these Shortform guides mentioned in this article:
- I Wish Someone Had Told Me… by Dana Perino
- Tribe of Mentors by Tim Ferriss
- 168 Hours by Laura Vanderkam
