Building a professional network can sometimes feel like collecting business cards, but if you do it right, those cards can become valuable contacts. Understanding how to build a professional network can open doors you didn’t even know existed. The truth is, your network often matters more than you think, especially if you work in a field that requires collaborative relationships.
To help you master this essential skill, we’ve gathered strategies that challenge conventional networking wisdom. You’ll learn from the best books written by experts on professional communication: Eric Barker’s Barking Up the Wrong Tree, Dana Perino’s I Wish Someone Had Told Me…, Keith Ferrazzi’s Never Eat Alone, Jeffrey Pfeffer’s Power, and Reid Hoffman and Ben Casnocha’s The Startup of You.
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Nurture Your Network
In I Wish Someone Had Told Me… Perino and Fox News host Brian Kilmeade say building a professional network helps you establish a positive reputation in your industry and lays a strong foundation for long-term career success.
Barker argues, in Barking Up the Wrong Tree, that for most of us, our network does matter. This is because most people aren’t introverts willing to spend most of their lives alone toiling in their chosen field. Rather, most people want to work in fields that require both intense solo work and maintaining good relationships—in other words, a good network. (Shortform note: Most people may not be so introverted that they’re willing to forgo relationships for their work, but introverts do make up a significant portion of humanity: Research suggests that 40% of the population are introverts, 40% are extroverts, and 20% are ambiverts.)
Good relationships are often essential to progress, Barker contends. To illustrate this, he describes how during World War II, Harvard University (which was working on jamming radar signals) and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (which was working on improving radar) developed advanced radar technology that helped the United States win the war because they were willing to work together. (Shortform note: Long after World War II, Harvard and MIT have continued to collaborate in ways that have benefited others: In 2012, the two institutions launched edX, a platform on which they shared their courses for free online.)
Let’s look at some strategies for building a professional network that will advance your career.
Strategy #1: Focus on Quantity Over Quality
In Power, Pfeffer says that weak ties are more valuable to your career for two key reasons. Firstly, weak ties are likely to introduce you to new people and organizations that will increase your social capital. Secondly, it takes minimal time and effort to create a weak tie with someone, meaning you can gather a large number of weak ties that connect you to a vast and diverse network.
As an additional tip, don’t restrict yourself to building professional relationships in your own industry. You never know which ties could prove useful later. For example, say you volunteer for a local charity and get to know a few of the board members. Then, if your boss mentions that she’d like to host a charity event, you can offer to connect her with the executives of that charity. Now the power you built outside of your company is helping you build power inside of it as well.
(Shortform note: In addition to the practical benefits Pfeffer discusses here, casual acquaintances—what he calls “weak ties”—can have unexpected mental and emotional benefits as well. Some studies have shown the positive impact that such relationships have on people’s happiness: The more acquaintances you have, and the more frequently you interact with them, the more likely you are to feel happy and satisfied with your life. Therefore, even if it never ends up helping your career, a friendly conversation with someone like a bartender or another congregant at your church can improve your life in other ways.)
Conversely, “strong ties” refers to your relationships with your family and closest friends. Such relationships are certainly rewarding in their own ways, but they aren’t a good way to build power.
Pfeffer explains that this is largely because your closest friends and family probably have similar social circles to you, meaning they won’t help your influence spread as far. Therefore, trying to build power by forging strong connections is very inefficient—you’ll spend a great deal of time and effort maintaining those close friendships, yet end up with a relatively small network.
| An Alternative View on Building Friendships for Power If your network does matter, how can you nurture it? The first step, according to Barker, is to reframe the term “networking” and focus on building friendships. We sometimes struggle to network because it feels insincere: This is because our brains didn’t evolve to create solely business relationships, so we don’t like doing it. However, we did evolve to make friends—and being friends with people is helpful because, as we’ve seen, the more people like you, the more they want to help you. So, when you meet people, try to become their friend. A simple way to do this is to look for things you have in common: Research demonstrates that we like people who are like us. If you try to build friendships in order to expand your network, you may still feel like you’re being insincere or manipulative. Researchers suggest that networking makes us feel this way because we’re uncomfortable making connections to reach professional goals. However, we don’t mind making friends because we approach it with seemingly more noble aspirations, like finding support. Moreover, even if you get past this ideological hurdle and meet someone with whom you share interests, it’s hard to make good friends as you get older. Anecdotal evidence suggests that this is due to several factors, such as difficulty finding time to meet and financial disparities that limit what you can do together. You’re also more likely to have a long-term partner, which often makes socializing even harder. Even if you have a lot in common with someone, if your spouse can’t relate to their spouse, it’s harder to hang out together. |
Strategy #2: Regularly Thank People
Barker recommends regularly thanking the people in your life. You become like the people you spend time with—so it pays to have good people in your life. Research indicates that regularly thanking people is a cornerstone of maintaining the friendships you build with good people. If you can, visit the people who’ve affected your life positively and thank them in person. But if you can’t, sending them a message of thanks will still boost both your and their happiness and improve your relationships.
| Why You Shouldn’t Expect Gratitude in Return Don’t start expecting others to be thankful for your presence in their lives just because you’ve gone out of your way to express gratitude to them. In How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie explains that ingratitude is part of human nature, so expecting gratitude from others will only lead to your frequent disappointment. Rather, Carnegie recommends that you focus on the joy of giving without expecting anything in return. That said, Carnegie also posits that by consistently and earnestly expressing gratitude, you’ll naturally cultivate a stronger sense of gratitude in others and show them how to meaningfully express it—so you may still eventually receive the gratitude you desire, which would boost your happiness and likely deepen your relationship. |
Strategy #3: Don’t Spoil the Office Party
Networking can be fun, but be careful not to have too much fun. Perino recommends that you treat work-related events, such as office parties, like extensions of the workplace. Your behavior at these events can have a lasting impact on your reputation and career. To enjoy yourself while ensuring you protect your reputation, Perino recommends the following:
- Remember that you’re still representing yourself and your organization, even though the environment feels more relaxed.
- Limit your alcohol intake to one drink at any work event.
- Stay focused on whoever you’re talking to. Don’t scan the room for someone more interesting or important while still talking to someone.
| How to Act With Class Perino’s advice for office parties boils down to this: Be classy. Other experts agree that acting with class can help you stand out and succeed. In The Success Principles, Canfield offers the following guidelines for acting with class at the office party, the boardroom, or anywhere else: 1. Accept responsibility for your actions and results. Take ownership of your role and recognize that you have the power to act differently to elicit different results if you don’t like the ones you’re getting. By taking responsibility, you represent yourself and the organization well at all times. 2. Develop personal standards. People who act with class establish standards for how they want to live, apart from the standards society prescribes. For example, if it’s common in your industry to get intoxicated at events, make it your standard to remain clearheaded. 3. Treat everyone as a unique individual. Though humans share many commonalities, each of us is a product of different genetics, experiences, and circumstances. Aspiring to know the unique person you’re interacting with helps you focus on them and make meaningful connections to strengthen your network, as Perino advises. |
Strategy #4: Network on Social Media
Social media networking is connecting with new people on sites such as Facebook, X, and LinkedIn. These social media platforms have millions of users, at least some of whom would make valuable additions to your professional network. In Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi says there are two ways to use social media networking: approaching potential new contacts yourself and getting them to come to you.
Method #1: Approach People on Social Media
Reach out to potential contacts on social media using these three steps:
Step 1: Decide which social media users you want to connect with. For example, you may decide you’re only going to contact professionals who work in your industry. Alternatively, you may choose to approach any professional you think you’d have a good rapport with, for example, because you have a shared interest.
Ferrazzi advises against approaching users with high follower counts—for instance, in the hundreds of thousands or millions. These users probably receive dozens of requests to connect each day. Your attempt is likely to be either missed or ignored and is therefore a waste of time.
Step 2: Reach out to your desired contacts. Follow them, if you don’t already, and send them a private message expressing your interest in getting to know them. If this isn’t possible—for instance, if the user’s privacy settings prevent people they don’t follow from messaging them—reply to one of their public posts instead.
Step 3: Try to convert your online friendships to real-life ones. Once you’ve messaged back-and-forth with your new online contacts a few times, follow the advice given in Chapter 4 and arrange to meet them face-to-face. Ferrazzi argues that relationships that include at least some in-person meetings will always be stronger than those conducted solely online.
Method #2: Inspire Social Media Users to Ask You to Network
This second method involves inspiring social media users to come to you with requests to network. You can do this by creating compelling social media content that piques people’s interest and makes them want to get to know you. Types of compelling content include:
- Posts about what you have to offer. Create these posts frequently to ensure that when people visit your page, they immediately find out why connecting with you will be a good idea.
- Posts with useful information—for instance, tips on how to get ahead in your field. Social media users are more likely to engage with people who produce content that helps them in some way, as opposed to content that’s ultimately useless (for example, a post that simply reads “I ate a sandwich for lunch today. LOL”).
- Posts about your successes. Many social media users like to live vicariously through the people they follow. If you regularly post about all of the good things that happen to you, you’ll attract users who want to bask in your positivity.
- Posts about your struggles. Being honest about the harder parts of your life will make you seem “human” in the eyes of other social media users. They’ll appreciate your candor and relate to your fallibility.
- Posts on controversial topics—for instance, the political issues of the day. These are often the posts that get the most attention, as social media users either agree or argue with the points you make. While you may alienate users who don’t share your views, those who do will feel a connection with you and thus feel encouraged to contact you.
- Posts that are unique—for instance, that take a format that no other social media user has tried before. People are more likely to follow you if they can’t find content like yours anywhere else. Also, they may feel compelled to contact you to discuss your unique ideas. Artist Noah Scalin used this strategy to great success. He gained a large online following thanks to his unique approach of creating and posting an image of a skull each day for a year.
No matter what type of content you choose to create, make sure that it reflects your authentic personality. For example, if you’re a joker in real life, make your posts lighthearted. If you’re passionate about advocacy, frequently mention the causes you care about online.
Remaining authentic online is important because if you present a “fake” version of yourself on social media and then go on to meet your followers in “real life,” they’ll be disappointed to discover that you’re a totally different person.
One way to ensure that all of your social media posts are authentic is to create a “personal brand” cheat sheet. Identify and list all of the key facets of your personality—your likes, dislikes, demeanor, and so on. This is your “personal brand.” Then, each time you create a post, refer to the list and check that your content reflects your brand. If it doesn’t, amend it accordingly.
Broadcast Your Social Media Content
An important facet of social media networking is ensuring that potential new connections actually see your content. After all, your content won’t convince people to contact you if they don’t even see it in the first place. Here are three tips on how to broadcast your social media content and thus attract new followers:
1) Play to the algorithms. Many social media sites—notably Facebook—use algorithms to decide which content they show their users. If you want your content to be seen, you need to play to the requirements of these algorithms. (Shortform note: It’s worth noting that social media algorithms are always changing. Ferrazzi’s recommendations are based on how the algorithms operated at his time of writing, and thus may now be outdated.)
Algorithms usually push content that they know users will like and share with their followers. Here are two types of content that are particularly popular, and thus algorithm-friendly:
- Posts containing pictures. Analysis of social media usage has shown that people vastly prefer image-based content to text-based content. For instance, on Reddit, 90% of the most popular content is image-based.
- Emotional posts. According to research conducted by marketing professor Jonah Berger, one of the attributes of highly shared content is that it inspires emotion—particularly “high-arousal” emotions such as awe, anger, and amusement. (Shortform note: To learn more about Berger’s research, read our summary of his book Contagious.)
2) Play to current trends. Look at the most popular content on social media right now, and find a way to emulate it. For instance, if there’s a trend for posting short informational videos, make one about your area of expertise. On-trend posts tend to generate much more engagement than “regular” posts, making them a key tool in attracting more users to your profile.
3) Reply to posts from users who you think will be interested in your content. Use your chosen social media site’s search tool to find posts on your area of expertise. Then, respond to these posts with either a link to relevant content you’ve produced or intriguing nuggets of wisdom. The users you respond to will inevitably visit your profile to find out who you are, thus exposing them to your content.
Strategy #5: Build Networks by Giving Value
According to Hoffman and Casnocha in The Startup of You, a strong network is made up of diverse connections and close relationships, which you can cultivate by viewing networking as forming genuine and mutually-beneficial relationships. Instead of focusing on getting something out of your contacts, take interest in their concerns, too. When building your network, the authors suggest you focus on having strong relationships rather than making many surface-level connections. This generates the most reliable support, opportunities, and ideas to aid you in your professional growth.
The authors offer a few suggestions to build professional relationships:
Give value to others first. To nurture your connections, take time to figure out what they value and offer them something first. It doesn’t have to be anything costly, the authors argue. You could provide insider information, help them practice for a job interview, or put your existing skills to use, like by giving them a painting to hang up in the bakery they just opened.
Accept their help. According to the authors, people enjoy helping others as it makes them feel good about themselves and strengthens their relationship with you. When people offer to help you, accept with gratitude.
Stay in touch. Many people are afraid that they’ll annoy others by trying to keep in touch, but the authors argue that this is rarely the case and encourage you not to assume so unless they give you a definitive “no.” Often, if you don’t receive a response, it might be because people are busy and want to be sure that you actually care about connecting with them and are willing to follow up. To show that you care, the authors advise you to reach out with a personalized message focused on them rather than an update about yourself or a generic greeting.
Learn More About Expanding Your Network
To better understand how to build a professional network, check out Shortform’s guides to the books we’ve referenced in this article:
- I Wish Someone Had Told Me… by Dana Perino
- Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi
- Barking Up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker
- Power by Jeffrey Pfeffer
- The Startup of You by Reid Hoffman and Ben Casnocha
- Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader by Herminia Ibarra
- The Squiggly Career by Helen Tupper and Sarah Ellis
- How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
- The Success Principles by Jack Canfield
