PDF Summary:The Road to Character, by David Brooks

Shooting selfies on vacation. Posting Facebook updates on our kid's graduation from pre-school. Garnering awards and promotions to add to our LinkedIn profiles. Guess what, America? We've become self-obsessed. In David Brooks’s The Road to Character, the New York Times columnist suggests we take a good hard look at ourselves and remember that we weren't always so narcissistic.

Brooks outlines the moral shift that took place after World War II when we transitioned from honoring humility, self-discipline, and public service to worshiping at the altar of "the Big Me." He also reminds us that our current self-focus isn't even making us happy. To help us recalibrate our moral compasses, Brooks details the lives of war heroes, civil rights activists, advocates for the poor, writers, and deep thinkers who've tackled the work of building moral character, then outlines a 15-point plan to help us live more virtuous—and ultimately happier—lives.

(continued)...

A. Philip Randolph

One of America’s most prominent civil rights organizers and activists, Randolph worked to end racial discrimination in employment and organized the first predominantly Black labor union in 1925. His dignified manner, impeccable manners, and quiet strength made him a role model for future civil rights activities. He emphasized civil disobedience and nonviolent protests like sit-ins and pray-ins over shouting or violence.

Takeaways: Achieve self-mastery and behave with dignity and decorum in all situations. Peaceful protest and nonviolence can be more powerful than violent revolt.

George Catlett Marshall

The Army general who helped to lead America through World War II and created the “Marshall Plan” that rebuilt Europe was repeatedly passed over for military positions he coveted. A deeply reserved and private person, he never “blew his own horn,” even though it might have helped his career. He learned to deny himself for the benefit of others and to not allow jealousy to derail him. As a wartime general, he was known for his great dedication to his troops and to the Army as an institution. His quiet, dignified leadership led to him winning the Nobel Peace Prize in 1953.

Takeaways: Sacrifice your individual desires for the betterment of a larger institution. Exhibit a reserved, humble demeanor.

President Dwight Eisenhower

The general who commanded the Allied invasion of France in World War II and later became an American President was brought up in a strictly disciplined household. His mother taught him self-restraint and self-discipline, which Eisenhower badly needed to reign in his fiery temper. Eisenhower used his childhood lessons to sustain him through many career disappointments. By exercising patience and managing his internal anger, he eventually achieved personal and political success.

Takeaways: Don’t act on every emotion that you feel. Self-restraint leads to a better, more successful life, especially for people with passionate dispositions. Great leaders lead with balance and moderation—they make big changes gradually and incrementally, rather than in one startling swoop.

Frances Perkins

The U.S. Secretary of Labor from 1933 to 1945 and the first woman to be appointed to a President’s cabinet, Perkins is known as “the woman behind the New Deal.” She was called into service through a life-changing event—at age 31, she walked out of a Manhattan tea party to witness the Triangle Shirtwaist fire, one of the most famous factory fires in American history, in which 146 garment workers perished. The experience led her on the path to become a crusader for workers’ rights. As she moved through her career in public service, she became even more deeply dedicated to her cause while simultaneously supporting her husband and daughter, who both suffered from bipolar disorder.

Takeaways: Seek your true calling and figure out how you can best serve your world. Sacrifice your individual desires for a greater purpose.

St. Augustine

The 4th-century theologian learned to reject worldly pleasures and surrender himself to God and grace. Augustine was a classic overachiever who found his many successes unfulfilling, so he went on a search for meaning. Augustine’s “Confessions” are a long meditation on the perils of sin, pride, and selfishness, in which he finally determines that even by becoming a bishop, continually studying the Bible, and praying for divine wisdom, he cannot attain perfection. He finally chose to humble himself and admit to his innate flaws and was then able to revel in God’s grace.

Takeaways: Understand that we cannot trust our own desires because we are all born sinful, and our individual desires always lead us astray. Self-pride makes us think we control our own lives, but we don’t. Only God is in control, and by surrendering to His grace, our struggles will become easier.

George Eliot

Novelist George Eliot (pen name for Mary Anne Evans) learned to be a better person by opening herself up to selfless love. Her decades-long relationship with partner George Lewes changed her from someone who was childlike, self-indulgent, and needy to a mature adult who was able to do the difficult work of writing soul-searching fiction. She paid a huge price for her relationship—Lewes was technically still married to another woman, so the pair were ousted from polite society—but that sacrifice helped her define her sense of morality and take agency for her own life.

Takeaways: Love has a redemptive power, and loving fully and being fully loved increases your ability to be your best self. Also, it’s important to define your own moral code even if it defies society’s conventions.

Samuel Johnson

A brilliant writer who made major contributions to English literature in the 18th century as a poet, playwright, essayist, moralist, literary critic, biographer, and editor, Johnson suffered from physical maladies and depression throughout his life. He rescued himself through deep self-exploration, moral inquiry, and feverishly hard work. To combat his insecurities and his fear of a demanding and punishing God, he filled his diaries with self-criticism and vows for self-improvement. Through his lifelong physical and emotional suffering, he learned to have great compassion for others.

Takeaways: Every human struggle is a moral struggle. We can never become perfect human beings, but we can build our character by constantly striving for self-improvement.

Guidelines for a More Moral Life

To help us recalibrate our moral compasses, Brooks outlines a 15-point Humility Code in the final chapter of the book. Following this code will help us circumvent our tendency for narcissism, help us live more virtuous lives, and ultimately make us happier, better people. These are his 15 guiding principles for building character, organized by theme:

Think “We” Instead of “Me”

1. Understand that we are naturally selfish and self-centered. We are narcissists at the core, and we have to combat the urge to act selfishly. This requires eternal vigilance because selfishness is deeply ingrained in our natures.
2. Don’t pursue temporal happiness. Seek moral goodness instead and you’ll find happiness along the way. We aren’t here on earth for the momentary pleasure of buying some new trinket, basking in the praise of others, or increasing our social status. Serving our own self-interest doesn’t bring deep down joy, but serving others’ needs does. We naturally feel good when we live a life of moral virtue.
3. When looking for a career, don’t listen to popular advice to “follow your passion.” Instead, put your skills and abilities to use to serve the greater good. Having a vocation that both utilizes your unique gifts and serves your community will lead to a fulfilling life. Having a vocation that only does half of that equation will not.

Crush Your Pride and Admit to Your Flaws

1. Humility is key to overcoming any human weakness. Own up to your flaws and imperfections—stop telling yourself you’re fine as you are. You can’t become a better person unless you are willing to humble yourself and learn. You must accurately assess your own flaws, and you must submit to the idea that you are not and will never be perfect.
2. To win against weakness, you must diminish your ego. Practice restraint. Stop announcing everything you do to the world. Teach your ego to be modest, even reticent. Joy does not come from convincing other people you’re great. In fact, trying to convince others of our greatness is an exhausting proposition. Instead, celebrate other people’s victories. Be a cheerleader for others.
3. Pride is our downfall. Pride makes us believe we are fine the way we are. It’s what makes us constantly try to prove to the world how great we are. Eliminate pride and we are suddenly able to see ourselves clearly, which means we can then better ourselves.
4. You don’t know as much as you think. Not even close. The humble person knows that she doesn’t understand everything around her. Start with admitting there is a vast universe of things you don’t know. Even when we have knowledge about a subject, we don’t necessarily have wisdom.

Engage Fully in Your Moral Struggle

1. Although humans have a multitude of flaws, we also have the capability to overcome those flaws. We are sinners, but we don’t have to live sinful lives. We can choose to battle against our flaws and not give in—like an alcoholic choosing to avoid drinking alcohol or a work-addicted person choosing to leave the office and go play with his kids.
2. Once we have a roof over our heads and food to eat, engaging in the struggle for character is more important than any of life’s other struggles. There is beauty in the struggle because it gives meaning to life, whereas climbing the ladder of success tends to leave us feeling empty. You can work as a high-profile CEO or as a devoted caregiver—either way, your most dramatic battle will be for your own morality and character.
3. Character is built through self-discipline. You need to develop character-building habits by making good moral choices every day. The more good choices you make—big ones, small ones, hundreds of them every day—the better you become at self-discipline.
4. Short-term desires are the devil whispering in your ear. Gluttony or lust or a multitude of other sins will try to lure us, but the rewards are painfully short-term. Building character requires committing to the long-term. It means giving up this week’s desire in favor of the much bigger reward that comes from living a good life over a long period of time.
5. When you conquer your weaknesses, you reach a state of maturity that doesn’t require a lot of fanfare. You may or may not be an outward success, but that won’t matter much to you. You’re not looking to be praised or congratulated; the reactions of others are unimportant because you have found the meaning and purpose in your life.

Seek Help From Other People and God

1. You can’t build character completely on your own. You need help from family, friends, and God. You aren’t an island or a lone wolf; you are one of billions of humans who are engaged in a similar struggle for meaning in their lives. It’s impossible to improve yourself unless someone holds up a mirror for you, so you can truly see yourself. You can also draw on other people’s experiences to help you wage your battle with yourself.
2. When we battle against weakness, our fight often takes the form of a few steps forward and a few steps back, then forward again. When you fail, when you feel like you’re moving backward, you must simply surrender to grace. Admit and accept your defeat, and let the world embrace you and help you back on your feet. Grace will deliver the message that you aren’t alone in your struggles.

Be a Moderate, Incremental Leader

15. If you’re a leader, make changes within your organization slowly and gradually. Don’t shoot for big, dramatic, headline-making changes; instead, make small shifts that people can adapt to and embrace. Understand that your job as a leader is not to be a ground-breaking pioneer or revolutionary change-maker. Your job is to find a balance between competing goals and interests.