PDF Summary:The Discourses of Epictetus, by Epictetus

Stoicism teaches us how to live a happy and fulfilling life through thoughtful, rational action. Stoic philosophers like Epictetus believe that the best way to live well is to understand the laws of nature and how you, personally, fit into the universe. By accepting things as they are, and doing the best you can with the life you’re given, you can live a happy and fulfilling life.

Epictetus is considered one of history’s most influential Stoic philosophers, alongside the likes of Marcus Aurelius (Meditations) and Seneca (Essays). The Discourses of Epictetus is the definitive collection of his teachings. In this guide, we’ll outline those teachings, and our commentary will compare and contrast them with those of other prominent Stoic philosophers. We’ll also examine how Stoic teachings have survived to the present day and appear in modern self-help books such as Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

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(Shortform note: Here, Epictetus is saying that the first step in facing any challenge is to make a plan. In Extreme Ownership, former Navy SEALs Jocko Willink and Leif Babin elaborate on this concept. They say that making a plan requires first knowing your desired outcome; then, considering what tools and assets you have at your disposal; and finally, determining how to use those resources to achieve your goal with the least possible risk to yourself.)

It’s also crucial to the Stoic mindset that you endure challenge and hardship without complaining. Epictetus teaches that complaining about hardship is like saying you’re not capable of handling it. However, every person has the ability to handle any situation—overcoming adversity simply requires recognizing that you have power over yourself and deciding how to use that power.

(Shortform note: In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius offers an especially utilitarian piece of advice regarding hardship, suffering, and complaints about them. He notes that complaining is pointless because you already know that you can endure any problem you encounter. An unendurable situation will, by definition, quickly end itself. In other words, you can withstand anything that doesn’t kill you—and if something does kill you, then you won’t need to worry about it anymore. Either way, complaining about the situation won’t help you.)

Epictetus suggests meeting every unpleasant experience by asking, “Is this related to something that’s in my control or something that’s not in my control?” This question will help you keep your equanimity in any situation. If the situation is in your control, then there’s no reason to get upset because you can fix the problem. If it’s not in your control, then getting upset about it is useless.

Learn How to Let Go

Epictetus says to let go of things that aren’t in your control, but he doesn’t give much advice on how to do that. In true Stoic fashion, he believes that exercising your reason will be enough to recognize when worrying isn’t necessary and, therefore, to stop worrying. Here are a few more practical tips for learning to let go of what you can’t control:

Commit to letting go. It’s one thing to say you’re giving up on worrying about what you can’t control, but it’s another to convince yourself to actually do it. Try writing down something specific that you need to stop worrying about and why—by doing so, you turn a nebulous thought into a concrete commitment. For example, if you’re stressed out waiting for an important piece of news, you might write, “The news will come when it comes. I will stop worrying because I can’t make it arrive any faster, and worrying is getting in the way of my happiness and peace of mind.”

Believe that you’ll be alright. People often fixate on their worries because they’re afraid of something, such as getting hurt or losing something important. To break out of those worries, trust and believe that you’ll be okay no matter what happens—that it won’t be as bad as you think, and that you can endure whatever challenges come your way.

Learn from the experience. If you’re stuck worrying about something that already happened, or you’re afraid that it’ll happen again, ask yourself what lesson you can take away from the experience. This will help you to create a sense of closure with the past event, as well as help you feel more prepared in case something similar happens in the future.

Strategies for Facing Challenges

Stoicism strongly emphasizes calm dignity and inner strength—in essence, that you don’t let anything upset or excite you so you can bring your reason to bear in every situation. Epictetus teaches how to remain calm in the face of adversity so that you can meet challenges with quiet rationality.

Strategy 1: See Every Challenge as an Opportunity

View hardships as chances to become stronger and to prove yourself, not as deliberate attacks or as harmful situations. This will help you to stay in a positive state of mind, instead of becoming frustrated or overwhelmed.

Face challenges head-on, Epictetus recommends—avoiding them is cheating yourself out of the chance to grow. Even the great heroes in stories would never have become strong or famous without challenges to overcome. To give a modern example, if Bruce Wayne’s parents hadn’t been killed, he wouldn’t have become Batman.

(Shortform note: Growing stronger through hardship can be explained, in part, by a phenomenon called post-traumatic growth. Sometimes, when someone lives through a traumatic experience, they find a new appreciation for life, along with a sense of increased inner strength and confidence. Researchers say that the people most likely to undergo post-traumatic growth are open-minded—which makes them more likely to learn from their experiences—and extroverted. Extroverts are more likely to seek out support and connection after a traumatic event, which helps them to grow.)

Strategy 2: Don’t Assign Blame

Looking for someone to blame for your problems—even yourself—encourages irrational, emotional thinking. When you try to assign blame, you’re really just looking for a target for your anger and frustration.

Epictetus teaches that blaming outside forces for your hardships shows a lack of understanding about how the world works, because you’re trying to fight against what Nature has caused to happen. Blaming yourself shows the beginning of understanding; you’re no longer upset with Nature, but neither are you accepting your own role within Nature.

Finally, accepting reality without assigning any blame shows true understanding. True acceptance means you recognize that everything is happening as it must happen, including your own decisions.

(Shortform note: In The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson explains that you can accept responsibility for a situation without accepting blame for it. In other words, when you face hardship, it’s not necessarily your fault that you’re in that situation—however, it’s still your responsibility to deal with whatever situations you encounter. To give a simple example: If you come across a piece of litter on the ground, it’s not your fault that it’s there, but you can still accept the responsibility of picking it up.)

Strategy 3: Think Before You Act

It’s easy to get carried away by your reactions to unpleasant events. So, before responding, take a moment to control yourself: Think rationally about what happened and what the appropriate response would be.

(Shortform note: In Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach explains why taking a moment to pause and think is so effective: For a short time, you stop trying to control what’s happening. During that moment when you surrender control and simply accept things as they are, you’re also giving up the need to immediately react—instead, you can thoughtfully and effectively act.)

If you find it hard to think logically about an event, Epictetus suggests imagining that it happened to someone else instead. Consider how you would feel if you weren’t personally involved, then recognize that there’s no reason to feel differently just because it’s affecting you directly—the situation isn’t different, only your perception of it is. Also consider what advice you would give to that other person, and try to follow that advice yourself.

(Shortform note: Considering how you'd advise someone else who was in your position is helpful because it lets you take a step back from the problem and disengage your emotions. Recent research shows that doing so makes you more open-minded when confronting a problem—in other words, less likely to latch onto a single, emotionally-driven response—and better able to take your own advice.)

The temptation to do something you know you shouldn’t is a different kind of challenge, but you can respond to it in the same way—by thinking carefully before you act. Take some time to consider what joy yielding to the temptation will bring you, versus how long you’ll spend regretting it afterward. Weigh that net joy against the satisfaction you’ll get from resisting temptation. Once you’ve considered all of these things, decide whether indulging in the temptation is worth it.

(Shortform note: Epictetus is suggesting that you overcome temptation through logic and willpower. However, in situations where you find that difficult, it can be more effective to strategically change the situation so that the thing you're tempted by is more difficult to get—and, therefore, less enticing. For example, if you're at a dinner party and trying to avoid sweets, you might get up to use the restroom when the servers come around to offer desserts. That way, to get a dessert, you’d have to rush back from the restroom and try to catch your server before he or she left your table.)

How to Live Well

Now that you have a basic grounding in Stoic reasoning and decision-making, it’s time to learn how to turn rational thought into virtuous action—actions that are in accordance with Nature and that sustain your peace of mind or improve the world around you.

First, to maintain your peace of mind, simply take events as they happen. Don’t upset yourself by wishing that something would happen sooner, or not happen at all. Epictetus says that, since all things happen according to Nature, a Stoic should never want anything to be different from how it is. This is a virtuous way to live because fighting against Nature—against the way things are supposed to be—will inevitably lead to unintended harm.

(Shortform note: Accepting things as they are isn’t just a philosophical idea—it has scientific backing. In Antifragile, risk analyst Nassim Nicholas Taleb explains why interfering in natural events commonly does more harm than good: because the world is such a large and complex system that there’s no way to fully predict the outcomes of a given action, and disrupting that system can have destructive consequences. For example, human efforts to protect ourselves from diseases by overusing antibacterial soaps and cleaners have led to antibiotic-resistant “superbugs,” thereby worsening the problem we were trying to solve.)

Second, be good to other people, regardless of how those people behave. This is not for their benefit but to maintain your own virtue and to act in accordance with Nature. Remember that you can’t control what other people do; trying to do so will upset your peace of mind and may upset the other person as well.

Epictetus explains that everyone acts according to his or her morals and reasoning. Therefore, when people do things that you believe are wrong or hurtful, remember that they did so out of ignorance rather than malice. Also, recognize that you could be the one who’s mistaken about what’s right. Keeping these things in mind will protect your peace of mind and help you to act with dignity and kindness.

(Shortform note: Epictetus is correct that being good to other people also benefits you. People who are kind and compassionate tend to experience less emotional stress and greater happiness than people who are selfish and aggressive. Some ways you might be good to others include doing volunteer work, donating to charity, or even engaging in small acts of kindness, like helping someone reach an item on a high shelf.)

Finally, remember that you will die. Enjoy the good things in life, but bear in mind that sooner or later you’ll have to leave them all behind. Remembering that your time is limited will keep you focused on what’s important.

(Shortform note: Stoicism teaches that death should be inspirational, not frightening. In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius reasons that death is part of Nature, and Nature ensures that events happen in the best way possible, so there’s no reason for a rational person to fear death. Aurelius also offers another way of thinking about death: Nature has given you the tools that you need to avoid harm, but there’s no way to avoid death; therefore, death must not be harmful.)

Choose Your Relationships Carefully

While your thoughts and reason are ultimately under your own control, Epictetus warns that you’ll probably become like the people you spend the most time with. Therefore, you’ll find it easier to remain virtuous if you surround yourself with virtuous people.

Spending time with crass and vulgar people can undo your progress in understanding Nature and practicing Stoicism. Therefore, if you do find yourself among common and uneducated people, do everything you can to avoid thinking or acting like them.

(Shortform note: Epictetus is right to warn about the dangers of spending time with the wrong kinds of people. Research shows that your friends influence your beliefs and behaviors, often without you even realizing it. The human mind is wired to constantly look for social cues and try to fit in, meaning that you’ll naturally become more like the people you spend the most time with.)

Epictetus’s Code of Conduct: Quiet Dignity and Discipline

Finally, Epictetus provides some specific rules for living well to round out his more general guidelines:

Rule 1: Speak Only When Needed, and Only as Much as Needed

Don’t indulge in small talk, and talk about yourself as little as possible. There’s no benefit to talking too much, and it uses up time and energy that you could spend in quiet contemplation. Furthermore, talking about yourself won’t teach you anything that you don’t already know—therefore, it’s a waste of time for a Stoic, whose purpose is to learn about Nature.

(Shortform note: Again, Epictetus provides a goal (don’t talk too much), but he doesn’t give any advice on how to accomplish it. One effective way to stop talking too much, and give yourself a chance to learn at the same time, is to simply ask questions. Doing so will allow you to participate in the conversation without dominating it.)

Most importantly, don’t waste time talking about your principles and your virtues; act on them instead. What other people think of your actions is irrelevant, so there’s no need to convince them that your reasoning is correct. Be confident in yourself (but not prideful) and you won’t feel the need to explain or justify yourself in the first place.

(Shortform note: There’s another benefit to acting instead of talking that Epictetus overlooks: the chance to lead by example. Leading by example proves to others that you truly believe and live by your values, which can have great benefits for your reputation. This is important because, although Epictetus says you shouldn’t concern yourself with what others think of you, reputation can count for a lot—especially in the modern world, where communication is so fast and widespread, and a bad reputation can follow you forever.)

Rule 2: Maintain Your Dignity and Seriousness in All Situations

Don’t allow yourself to become overly excited by entertainment, nor overly impressed by celebrities or important people, Epictetus advises. When you find yourself bored, don’t make a scene or bother the people around you. Don’t try to make others laugh, for that makes it too easy to slip into vulgar behavior, and it may lessen others’ respect for you. Also, don’t resort to foul language, either in frustration or for humor.

(Shortform note: By always acting in a calm and dignified manner and avoiding undignified behaviors as Epictetus suggests here, you’ll find that your thoughts become more calm and dignified too—in essence, you can “fake it until you make it.” This works because there’s a strong link between what you do and how you feel. In Unlimited Power, Tony Robbins explains you can control your emotional state by consciously choosing how to behave, what body language you use, and your facial expression. For example, if you want to improve your focus, you might try leaning forward and wrinkling your brow as if you’re thinking very hard about something.)

Rule 3: Only Give Your Body as Much Attention as It Needs to Stay Healthy

Spending too much time eating, sleeping, exercising, or dealing with any other bodily concerns is a waste. Devote as much of your life as possible to developing your mind.

(Shortform note: Stoicism teaches moderation and self-control as ways to live more harmoniously with Nature. For example, Nature requires humans to eat, and therefore you should eat; however, Nature does not require humans to be gluttonous, and therefore you should not overindulge in food. Many Stoics believe that indulging your desires—rather than just meeting your needs—weakens your reason and your willpower, and therefore makes you unable to practice philosophy.)

Learning to control yourself and your thoughts takes time and practice. Epictetus suggests that you begin by disciplining yourself in small things and move on to larger ones from there. For example, if you’re planning to fix your diet and eat healthier, you might start by just giving up soda instead of trying to change your whole diet right away.

(Shortform note: Starting with small changes to your life does more than just build discipline and get you used to making changes. According to James Clear (Atomic Habits), small changes to your life can build on top of one another to create enormous improvements. For example, one small change might be to cook healthier dinners for yourself. That better diet gives you more energy, which you use to start going to the gym. That regular exercise further increases your energy, giving you the ability to make even more improvements to your life, and so on. Soon, you’re in better shape than you’ve ever been, all because you started with one small change.)

Rule 4: Start Practicing Stoicism Immediately

Finally, Epictetus suggests that you start practicing Stoicism right now. You’ve now learned everything you need to know to begin, so don’t put off your personal growth until some time in the future when you have a teacher, or more money, or some other external thing. Begin disciplining your mind and your reasoning today.

(Shortform note: If you’re nervous about getting started with practicing Stoicism, or not sure where to begin, you can follow Mark Manson’s advice in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: Start with something trivial. Setting a very low bar eliminates your fear of failure, and reaching that first goal will motivate you to keep setting more goals. For example, your starting goal might be to ask yourself, “Is this difficulty I’m facing related to something that is in my control or out of my control?” just once per day.)