PDF Summary:The 13th Gift, by Joanne Huist Smith

After the profound loss of her husband, Joanne Huist Smith and her children struggle to embrace the holiday season. Grief overshadows the joy they once found in Christmas traditions. As the countdown to the holidays begins, Smith receives a series of anonymous gifts inspired by the twelve days of Christmas. Each gift sparks a glimmer of light during a dark period for the family.

In The 13th Gift, Joanne Huist Smith recounts her journey from heartache to hope. Uplifted by an outpouring of generosity, the family rediscovers the true meaning of the season. Their lives become intertwined with a family whose compassion transcends unimaginable tragedy, revealing a moving tradition of passing kindness from one grieving family to the next.

(continued)...

Context

• The story highlights themes of generosity and the impact of small acts of kindness, showing how they can bring people together and restore hope.
• Decorating the tree can symbolize the act of bringing light and joy into the home, serving as a metaphor for overcoming darkness and hardship.
• Rick was a significant family member whose absence is deeply felt during the holiday season. His memory is central to the family's emotional journey, and the gifts help them reconnect with his presence.
• The presents served as a symbol of hope and renewal, encouraging the family to look forward to the future and embrace the possibility of happiness despite their loss.

The journey of healing and moving forward for the family was significantly supported by these acts of generosity.

The Smith family's path to recovery and personal development began when they started receiving presents from an unknown benefactor. The incident profoundly changed their understanding of what Christmas really signifies and solidified their commitment to helping those who require assistance.

The relatives committed to continuing the tradition of clandestine gift exchanges during festive occasions to honor the memory of the initial givers.

Touched by the kindness of strangers, the Smith family resolves to perpetuate the tradition of clandestinely bestowing presents throughout the festive period. They pledge to support and elevate those facing difficulties, recognizing that small gestures of compassion can have a profound impact on people, especially during times of festive celebrations, who are struggling.

Context

• The impact of receiving unexpected kindness can be significant, often providing emotional support and a sense of being cared for, which is especially meaningful during challenging times.
• This type of tradition can help build a sense of community and connectedness, as it encourages people to think about the needs and feelings of others, fostering empathy and solidarity.
• The unexpected generosity helped the Smith family find hope and healing during a difficult time.
• During festive seasons, financial strain can be a significant stressor for many. Small, thoughtful gifts can alleviate some of this pressure, showing that care and consideration do not have to be expensive.

The gifts were instrumental in bringing back a sense of purpose and happiness to the household during the holiday season.

The family with the surname Smith discovered a renewed sense of purpose and importance during the holiday season, owing to their appreciation for the anonymous gifts they were given. They come to understand that the true meaning of the Christmas season goes beyond physical presents and traditional customs, capturing the values of love, understanding, and unity. They discover the value of simple gestures of goodwill and gain resilience through their dedication to assisting others.

Context

• The experience encouraged the family to shift their perspective from materialism to valuing relationships and emotional connections.
• Studies in psychology suggest that acts of kindness and community involvement during the holidays can improve mental well-being, fostering a sense of belonging and reducing feelings of isolation.
• Simple gestures can bridge gaps between people, breaking down barriers and fostering understanding and empathy.
• Building connections through helping others can provide a support network, which is crucial for emotional resilience.

The author continued her determined search to identify the kind individual responsible for the generous gifts.

Even though the gifts bring joy, Smith feels uneasy about not knowing who is sending them. Driven by a sense of personal thankfulness, she seeks to understand the motivations behind their actions.

The author initially embarked on a quest to uncover the identity of the individual bestowing the presents.

Throughout the narrative, Smith describes her quest to determine who was behind these generous gifts. She initially considers the likelihood that her colleague Joann might be involved but soon rules it out when Joann departs for a holiday vacation. Joanne speculates if Maribeth, responsible for supervising her daughter's scouting endeavors, could be organizing the food assistance after Rick's death, yet Maribeth assures her she is not involved.

The author meticulously investigated the origins of the gifts by scrutinizing elements like the type of paper used for wrapping and noting the inclusion of a poinsettia.

Smith meticulously investigates to uncover who is behind the benevolent offerings. She scrutinizes the wrapping of the poinsettia with great care, hoping to uncover hints of its origin, which she thinks might significantly narrow down the list of possible senders. In a comical turn of events, her pursuit to uncover the origin of the poinsettia leads her to the parking lot of a discount store, where she examines a poinsettia in someone else's car that looks similar to her own.

Practical Tips

• Use social media to crowdsource information about unknown gifts. Post a photo of the gift and any distinctive features (without revealing personal information) and ask your network if they recognize the wrapping or the item. This taps into the collective knowledge of your friends and family, and someone might recall who recently bought a similar item or uses the same wrapping paper.
• Create a personal "value assessment" chart to use when shopping. Before making a purchase, list the qualities you value in the item (such as cost, aesthetics, function, or brand reputation) and rate how the potential purchase measures up in each category. This can help you make more mindful decisions that align with your personal values and needs.

The author conducted thorough research among her coworkers and family members to determine who had left the gift.

Smith's quest to ascertain who the generous individuals are prompts her to inquire among her local acquaintances. She inquires with her coworkers to see if any of them can shed light on the mysterious presents, hoping that one might inadvertently reveal their involvement. She also harbors suspicions toward family members, especially her sister-in-law Charlotte, who has provided considerable support in their time of sorrow, questioning whether she too might be privy to the undisclosed information. Her skepticism regarding the motives of Rick's coworkers at Gem City Engineering was confirmed when Terry arrived on the eighth day of the holiday season with an assortment of preloaded shopping cards and a collective monetary present from the company's employees.

Practical Tips

• Implement a 'detective game' with friends or family where you solve everyday mysteries. For example, if an item goes missing or a surprise treat appears in the communal area, turn it into a game where each person uses observation and questioning to figure out what happened. This playful approach can sharpen your investigative skills and encourage a sense of curiosity and engagement with your immediate environment.
• Create a virtual gratitude board where people can post thank-yous for acts of kindness they've received. Encourage friends, family, and neighbors to share their experiences. Over time, you'll notice patterns of generosity emerging as certain names appear frequently, revealing the generous individuals in your network.
• Start a 'secret skills' board in a common area where colleagues can post anonymous notes about hidden talents or knowledge they possess. Others can guess who the skills belong to, promoting discovery and appreciation of diverse abilities within the team.
• Improve your deductive reasoning by playing "detective" during social gatherings. Observe interactions and try to deduce relationships and dynamics without prior knowledge. For instance, at a party, you could try to figure out who knows each other well or who might be meeting for the first time based on body language and conversation topics.
• Develop a game of hypothetical scenarios with friends to practice assessing motives. Create fictional workplace situations and discuss possible reasons behind coworkers' actions. This casual yet strategic game can sharpen your ability to discern motives without the pressure of real-life consequences.
• Start a tradition of anonymous gift-giving in your community. Use a sign-up sheet or an online platform where people can list things they need or want, without attaching their names. Participants can then choose an item from the list to provide to someone in the community anonymously. This could be a way to ensure that those who are less fortunate or might not receive gifts during the holidays feel included and cared for.

The writer ultimately discovered who the gift-givers really were and learned about their backgrounds.

Smith's understanding of the individual responsible for the kindness was ultimately realized thanks to the relentless efforts of her sister-in-law, Dorothy. The revelation brings a sense of closure to her long-held desire to express her gratitude and deepen her understanding of the motives behind this extraordinary gesture.

The community members who had also experienced deep sorrow were the ones bestowing the gifts.

George and Susan Armstrong, neighbors of the author, are the individuals responsible for presenting the gifts. For many years, they have maintained the custom of clandestinely gifting families in grief, a gesture born from the compassion they received after their daughter Andrea's death in 1989.

Context

• The practice of offering support to those in mourning is a common cultural and community response, often intended to create a sense of solidarity and shared humanity.
• The year 1989, when the Armstrongs lost their daughter, was a time when community support networks were often more informal, relying on neighbors and local connections rather than organized support groups.

The people responsible for bringing the gifts disclosed their purpose and the heritage they aimed to maintain.

The Armstrong family expressed to Smith that their tradition of giving is a tribute to their daughter's legacy and perpetuates the kindness and comfort they received during their period of grief. They deliberately concealed who they were, believing that the mystery surrounding the source of the present would magnify its impact and provide relief to families dealing with difficulties.

Context

• The act of giving in memory of their daughter suggests that she may have been someone who valued or embodied generosity and compassion.

Other Perspectives

• The act of giving gifts as a way to maintain a heritage could be seen as a limited approach to perpetuating one's values, as it may not engage the broader community or lead to sustainable, long-term practices that embed these values in the social fabric.
• Transparency about the benefactor's identity could inspire others to give as well, by providing a relatable example of generosity.

The tradition began with people anonymously bestowing gifts throughout the festive season.

The story goes beyond their personal experiences, illustrating how the custom of kindness within a particular family was molded by their decision to give presents following Andrea's death. The disclosure unveils a long-standing tradition of kindness and support, perpetuated by each family's ongoing participation in the cycle of goodwill.

The people who provided the gifts had previously received anonymous presents after experiencing a significant loss.

In 1989, after enduring the devastating loss of their newborn daughter, Susan and George Armstrong started receiving a sequence of unexpected gifts, each inspired by the customary holiday song that enumerates gifts given on each of the twelve days leading up to Christmas. Overwhelmed with grief, they found solace in the unforeseen arrival of gifts, which provided a brief reprieve from their anguish and indicated that someone deeply cared for them in their time of great adversity.

The family discovered comfort when they received presents from a mysterious benefactor amidst their difficult times.

The Armstrong family's spirits and perspective were greatly elevated when they started to be graced with gifts by an unknown patron during their time of grief. The family members collaborated to determine where the gift had come from. Even amidst their sorrow, they were reassured of their companionship and support.

Practical Tips

• Start a chain of kindness by paying for the person behind you in line at a coffee shop or drive-thru. This simple gesture can inspire the recipient to pass on the kindness to someone else, creating a ripple effect of goodwill and support within the community.
• Use social media to crowdsource information about a local historical figure or landmark, inviting contributions to a collective biography or history project. By engaging the wider community, you can gather diverse perspectives and perhaps solve longstanding mysteries, much like a family working together to uncover the identity of a benefactor.
• Create a personalized care package for a friend going through a tough time, including items that reflect shared memories or inside jokes to show your support and presence in their life.

The people offering these tokens of kindness aimed to pass on the same comfort and generosity that they had previously received.

The Armstrong family, profoundly affected by the compassion they received, felt compelled to offer the same comfort and support that helped them endure a difficult holiday season. They grasped the opportunity to shed light on the lives of other families in mourning by transforming their grief into a shining symbol of optimism.

Context

• The concept of passing on kindness often stems from traditions where communities support each other during times of need, creating a cycle of giving that strengthens social bonds.
• Their actions serve as an example for others dealing with similar situations, illustrating how personal challenges can lead to broader social impact.

Throughout the festive period, the benefactors maintained their commitment to the practice of giving gifts without revealing their identities.

The Armstrong family committed to clandestinely delivering presents to families in mourning, motivated by their own experiences with sorrow and influenced by the tradition known as "The Twelve Days of Christmas." They thoughtfully selected families to assist, taking advice from friends, colleagues, their religious community, and the organization focused on aiding new parents where Susan devoted her efforts voluntarily.

The custom grew to encompass the children of the kind-hearted people who supplied the gifts.

The Armstrong children, Noah, Zachary, and Natalie, actively participated in the secret mission to spread kindness. The children participated enthusiastically in sharing the gifts, which evolved into a treasured and meaningful family tradition that enriched the occasion for both the recipients and their own family members.

Practical Tips

• Create a 'Gifts of Growth' garden plot in your yard or community garden where each plant represents a commitment to do something kind for someone, especially children. As you tend to the garden, fulfill these commitments, such as tutoring, donating clothes, or spending time with children who could use a mentor.
• Start a "Kindness Journal" where you jot down one kind deed you've done each day. This practice not only serves as a reminder to perform daily acts of kindness but also allows you to reflect on the impact these actions have on others and yourself, reinforcing the habit.
• Encourage your children to create homemade gift cards for family members, emphasizing the joy of giving rather than receiving. By involving them in the process of making the cards, they learn to appreciate the effort behind gift-giving and experience the happiness of sharing something personal and heartfelt.
• Start a tradition of 'skill gifts' where family members teach each other something new instead of buying physical gifts. For example, one person could teach another how to bake a family recipe, play a musical instrument, or knit a scarf. This not only creates a meaningful exchange but also helps to pass on valuable skills and knowledge within the family.
• Implement a 'family accomplishment board' where achievements, big or small, are posted and celebrated monthly. This board can be a physical space in the home or a digital platform for extended family. Celebrating each other's successes not only motivates but also reinforces the value of support and recognition within the family.

The benefactors customize their offerings to cater to the unique requirements of every household they support.

The Armstrong family recognized the unique nature of each bereavement and tailored their support to meet the diverse needs of the grieving families. During their yearly festive campaign, they meticulously gathered information regarding the circumstances and needs of every household to guarantee the delivery of appropriate food, garments, and thoughtfully chosen gifts for grieving parents.

Other Perspectives

• Customization assumes that the benefactors have the expertise to accurately assess and meet the varied needs of different households, which may not always be the case.
• The process of gathering detailed information about each household's circumstances could be seen as intrusive or stressful for families who are already dealing with grief.
• This approach may not be scalable or sustainable if the number of households they wish to support grows significantly.
• The selection of what is deemed "appropriate" could be subjective and may not align with the personal tastes or cultural practices of every grieving family.