PDF Summary:Storyworthy, by Matthew Dicks

You may not know it yet, but your life is full of stories worth sharing. So argues oral storytelling champion Matthew Dicks in Storyworthy—a guide to discovering, crafting, and sharing great personal stories. Drawing on his experience telling stories on stages around the world and teaching storytelling to diverse groups of people, Dicks offers insights on how to shape ordinary moments into stories that spark profound human connections.

In this guide, we’ll cover Dicks’s ideas in four parts. First, we’ll explain why everyone should learn how to tell their stories. Next, we’ll outline Dicks’s advice on deciding which stories to share. Then, we’ll explain how to combine all the elements of a good story. Finally, we’ll cover Dicks’s tips for memorizing, practicing, and sharing your story on stage. Throughout, we’ll supplement Dicks’s advice with tips from experts on writing, psychology, public speaking, and more.

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How to Begin Your Story

Dicks provides a simple formula for structuring your story: First, define the ending. Then, come up with a beginning that contrasts it as sharply as possible. Many writers agree that starting with the end in mind gives your story clarity and purpose. For instance, novelist Kurt Vonnegut famously advised writers to “start as close to the end as possible” to keep their stories focused and engaging.

However, this approach doesn’t work for everyone. In On Writing, Stephen King argues that good stories are as unpredictable as life itself, so you shouldn’t write with a certain ending in mind. Instead, come up with an intriguing situation that can serve as the beginning of your story, and let the protagonist work their way out of it. This helps you develop an authentic storyline that feels true to life. Granted, King writes dark fantasy and science fiction—he can invent any ending he wants, and it doesn’t have to be based in reality. This makes it easier to allow a story to unfold naturally from its beginning. However, King’s advice may be applicable to personal narratives, too.

Perhaps you want to tell a story about a transformation in your life that hasn’t reached its conclusion yet, like the evolving dynamics of a complicated relationship. In this case, you’d know how the story of your relationship began, but you wouldn’t yet know its ending. You don’t have to wait for the situation to resolve itself to tell your story. Instead, you could start with the beginning, include insights you learn as the relationship unfolds, and invite your audience to experience uncertainty alongside you. This is the structure that many stories in The New York Times’s “Modern Love” column take.

Incorporate Physical Details

Once you know where to begin, start thinking about the physical details you can incorporate throughout the story to make it come alive in your audience’s mind. According to Dicks, each moment in your narrative must be grounded in a clear, specific location. This allows listeners to visualize the action as it unfolds—they can picture it as well as they could if they were watching a movie. Without physical details, your story might come across like a lecture or essay, which most people tend to tune out.

This rule applies even if you need to give the audience some historical context or explain something technical. Say you want to discuss your family history—instead of giving a list of facts about your ancestors, fold those details into anecdotes or flashbacks. For example, you could discuss the time you drank coffee with your grandmother in her living room while she shared old family stories and secrets.

(Shortform note: Incorporating physical details into your story is known as descriptive writing. To practice descriptive writing, experts recommend consulting your five senses—taste, touch, sound, smell, and sight. For example, in a story about a childhood summer, you might describe the scent of freshly cut grass, the warmth of the sun on your skin, or the distant hum of lawnmowers. If you have trouble coming up with physical details because the events in your story happened too long ago, try revisiting the scenes you’re writing about—either in person or via a Google Maps walkthrough.)

Create an Emotional Investment

Dicks emphasizes that stories are most impactful when they tug on an audience’s heartstrings in some way. He says you can accomplish this in three ways: by zeroing in on emotional details, by building suspense, and by leveraging surprise. Let’s explore each of these strategies in more detail.

How to Zero in on Emotional Details

Dicks recognizes that you might want to tell a story about the worst or most dramatic event in your life, like the time you escaped prison or survived a plane crash. However, these events are too extraordinary for most audiences to relate to. They may feel shocked, but they won’t feel connected to you. To overcome this problem, Dicks recommends zeroing in on your emotional experience during that event. Emotions are universal—not everyone has escaped prison, but everyone knows what it’s like to feel trapped and then, suddenly, free. By focusing on your emotional experience, you make it possible for the audience to empathize with you no matter how much your lives may differ.

(Shortform note: In Wired for Story, Lisa Cron explains that a protagonist’s emotional experience is the most vital part of any story. According to Cron, audiences use the protagonist’s emotions to distinguish between important information and extraneous details—if the character is highly emotional, the audience knows that something significant is happening, which prompts them to pay closer attention. Here are strategies from Cron for conveying your emotional experience effectively: First, describe external signs of emotion like body language and physical actions. For example, mention how you gritted your teeth when something made you angry. Second, reveal your inner monologue. For example, you might share thoughts like, “How could they betray me like this?”)

How to Build Suspense

Dicks explains that building suspense—a sense of nervous anticipation—helps you maintain the audience’s interest in your story. Here are two techniques you can use to build suspense:

1) Foreshadowing: Foreshadowing, which Dicks calls “breadcrumbing,” involves subtly hinting at developments that will unfold later in the story. For example, if your story is about how you faced your fear of heights, you might make an offhand comment early on about your hesitation to go on a ferris wheel. By dropping small, seemingly insignificant clues early on, you weave a thread of tension throughout the narrative and make the audience curious about what’s to come.

2) Slow pacing: When you’re approaching a pivotal moment in your story, intentionally slow the narrative’s pace by incorporating additional, seemingly trivial details. For example, if your story is building up to your discovery of a hidden letter that reveals a family secret, you might describe in detail your painstaking journey through a cluttered attic, focusing on your meticulous examination of old trunks and dusty boxes. Dicks says this slow, deliberate buildup intensifies the suspense, making the eventual reveal more dramatic and impactful.

Lisa Cron on Building Suspense

Dicks argues that suspense is crucial for keeping your audience engaged. In Wired for Story, Cron explains why suspense is such a powerful attention-getter: According to Cron, humans have an innate need to make sense of every piece of information they learn. When you build suspense, you withhold some of the information your audience needs to understand the big picture. As a result, the audience senses that they need to keep reading (or listening) to fill in the gaps.

Like Dicks, Cron recommends that you use foreshadowing to create suspense. Cron explains that when you drop small clues about what’s to come, you give your audience memories they can use to connect all the dots in your story. Cron adds that foreshadowing is especially important when the story’s protagonist—in this case, you—makes a decision that seems out of character. Your audience can rely on your early hints to understand the motivation behind that choice, making it feel more believable.

Cron also offers tips on pacing. First, she recommends using subplots to give readers some distance from the major conflict and allow them to process what’s happened so far. Say you’re telling a story about your discovery of a hidden letter that reveals a family secret. Introducing a subplot where you navigate a complicated relationship with a family member—like a sibling who doubts the need to uncover the past—can give the audience a chance to weigh the situation’s emotional stakes.

Second, you can slow the pace of your story with flashbacks. Cron says you should only incorporate flashbacks when they’re necessary for understanding what happens next. So, for example, as you dig through the attic for the hidden letter, you might insert a flashback that reveals a childhood memory related to your family’s complex history.

How to Leverage Surprise

Dicks explains that surprise is a powerful emotion that you can leverage to captivate your audience. To create a sense of surprise, Dicks recommends emphasizing contrast: Include details, actions, and events that make it seem as if the story’s going in a predictable direction. Then, follow with an unexpected turn that disrupts the audience’s expectations and redefines the narrative.

(Shortform note: In Story, Robert McKee refers to this technique as a beat: The story’s protagonist takes action toward a goal, and the world changes in an unexpected way. According to McKee, you should weave beats throughout your story instead of relying on one big plot twist at the end. Constantly subverting your audience’s expectations keeps them intellectually and emotionally engaged, which makes your story more compelling.)

Another technique Dicks offers for surprising your audience involves hiding crucial information within less significant details. For example, say your story is about how you pulled off a heist with the help of a local coffee shop owner. You might include a scene where you visit the coffee shop and have a mundane conversation with the owner, which the audience would view as mere background detail. They won’t see it coming when you reveal the identity of your accomplice later.

(Shortform note: The success of director M. Night Shyamalan’s films, which are known for their surprising plot twists, illustrate just how effective this technique can be. Take The Sixth Sense for example: Throughout the film, Shyamalan weaves in minor details like a character’s struggle to open doors or connect with his wife. At the end of the film, the audience learns that these seemingly insignificant details are actually crucial to the plot. Spoiler alert: The character is dead, and these struggles reflect his ghostly state. Critics loved how Shyamalan used this technique to shock his audience, and the film launched his career to new heights.)

Keep the Action Moving Forward

Dicks emphasizes that every story needs momentum—otherwise, it’ll become stagnant, and the audience will lose interest. You can create momentum in two ways: by introducing conflict and by introducing consequences. For example, in a story about a breakup, your conflict might be the emotional turmoil and self-doubt that arise from the relationship's end. A consequence could be your decision to move to a new city, which introduces new challenges and opportunities. According to Dicks, these forces help you clarify how the various events in your story are linked. They also signify change, indicating that the story is shifting direction or that a new development has emerged as a result of previous events.

However, as your story progresses, it’s vital that it remains focused. Dicks explains that a single story can’t effectively convey multiple meanings; it must focus on one central theme to be compelling. To find the meaning of your story, Dicks recommends telling your story aloud without worrying about structure or polish. Doing so allows you to re-experience the moment and often reveals why it has stayed with you. Once you identify your story’s focal point, make sure that each anecdote you include builds on that theme; cut out anything that seems extraneous.

Robert McKee’s Tips for Forward-Moving Action

Dicks argues that you should create momentum by introducing conflict and consequences, and one way to accomplish this is by emphasizing risk. In Story, McKee argues that every story should feature a protagonist (in this case, you) who risks losing what they care about most. This naturally imbues your story with conflict (your willingness or hesitance to take risks) and consequences (the results of the risky decisions you make). For example, say your story is about how you left your job to fulfill your childhood dream of becoming a musician. The conflict arises from your fears of financial instability, while the consequences might include disappointing your family or the joy of performing your first gig.

McKee also provides a perspective you can use to discover your story’s central theme. McKee defines “theme” as a specific, truthful statement about the world that expresses cause and effect. So if you’re not sure what the theme of your story is, you can start by asking yourself what truth you want to convey through the narrative. For example, if your story is about overcoming adversity, your theme might be, “Resilience leads to growth.” McKee also recommends weaving an anti-theme into your story by including moments that seem to disprove the theme. This introduces a level of complexity that helps your story feel more believable, and it can also help you keep all your plot points connected to the theme.)

Lie Strategically

According to Dicks, it’s OK to bend the truth slightly to make your story more compelling. Memory is imperfect anyway—you’re unlikely to remember things exactly as they happened. However, he emphasizes that any embellishments should enhance the audience’s experience, not mislead them. For example, if you’re telling a story about narrowly escaping a wild animal, it’s fine to enhance the suspense by describing the animal as growling menacingly even if it was silent. This embellishment adds to the story’s dramatic effect without altering the core truth. However, it’s not OK to falsely claim that the animal chased you for miles if it actually remained at a distance—exaggerating the danger you were in undermines the authenticity of your story.

(Shortform note: Creative nonfiction experts are divided as to whether it’s OK to lie when you share stories about your life. Some argue that the genre’s audience only reads (or listens to) nonfiction because they want to learn some truth about the world—so it’s not OK to embellish details, even if they make the story more compelling. Others agree with Dicks that memory is imperfect, and you can creatively improvise details you’ve forgotten. Still others advocate for a middle ground: Life experience is subjective, and you should strive to tell your version of the truth, even if that’s not something others would recognize as factual.)

Incorporate Humor

Dicks recommends weaving occasional humor into your story. It shouldn’t dominate the narrative—you’re a storyteller, not a comedian. But you can use humor to relieve tension or highlight the absurdity of a situation when that’s called for. To use humor effectively, try juxtaposing incongruous elements—things that don’t usually go together but create amusement when combined unexpectedly. For example, you might describe how you prepared meticulously for an important business presentation. But as you gave the presentation, you realized that your preteen upgraded your boring slides with a glittery unicorn PowerPoint template.

(Shortform note: Dicks suggests that you can use humor to create levity in the darker parts of your story, but what if you struggle to find humor in the situation to begin with? First, try identifying your own sense of humor. What do you find funny? Self-deprecating jokes? Satire? Witty one-liners? The kind of humor Dicks recommends, where you juxtapose incongruous elements, is known as irony. Whichever type of humor feels most authentic to you is the one you should implement in your story.)

Part 4: Share Your Story

At this point, you’ve gathered all the elements of a good story, from a solid beginning to funny interludes. Now, Dicks says, it’s time to share your story with others. In this section, we’ll discuss Dicks’s tips for delivering your story effectively.

Step 1: Control Your Nerves

Dicks explains that it’s OK to feel nervous when you share your story. It’s also OK if the audience can tell that you’re nervous—they might find this endearing, as it shows authenticity and vulnerability. However, if you get too nervous you’ll find it difficult to perform.

(Shortform note: If you feel too scared to share your story, try isolating the reason you feel that way. This can help you identify an effective strategy for controlling your nerves. For example, if you’re afraid people will judge you harshly based on the content of your story, remind yourself that sharing your truth can foster connection and understanding. On the other hand, if you’re nervous about your public speaking skills, you could try practicing your story multiple times to build confidence.)

When it comes to controlling your nerves, Dicks offers the following tips:

Tip #1: Use eye contact strategically. Meet the eyes of a few audience members scattered throughout the crowd. It’s too hard to connect with every individual in the audience, but if you look in the general direction of the people you single out, everyone near them will feel acknowledged.

(Shortform: In Cues, body language expert Vanessa Van Edwards explains why eye contact can help you connect with your audience: Looking into someone’s eyes stimulates oxytocin production in both parties, which can enhance your ability to interpret each other’s emotions. It also makes you seem more warm—that is, approachable, empathetic, and kind. Warmth helps you earn others’ trust, which some say is crucial to the relationship between a storyteller and their audience.)

Tip #2: Don’t memorize your story word for word. This will lead to a stilted performance that comes across as inauthentic. Instead, memorize your first and final lines and the most important events that take place in the middle of your story. (Shortform note: Jade Bowler provides techniques you can use to memorize these parts of your story in The Only Study Guide You’ll Ever Need. One technique is spaced repetition, where you practice your story repeatedly over time. It’s important to space out your practice sessions, though—you should only practice when you feel like you’re about to forget your story. This ingrains the story in your long-term memory.)

Tip #3: Don’t take yourself too seriously. You want to seem confident, but you don’t want to seem arrogant. If you’re telling a story about a major victory in your life, it’s easy to come across like a braggart—and that would prevent your audience from empathizing with you and enjoying your story. To minimize this risk, undermine yourself by highlighting your flaws or imperfections.

(Shortform note: On the flip side, you don’t want to come across as overly self-critical or pathetic; the audience might be moved by their pity for you, but they probably won’t be impressed by your story. If you tend to err on the side of either extreme, you might benefit from ego work, which teaches you to see yourself in a more neutral light. Ego work entails exploring and balancing your sense of self-worth, helping you recognize both your strengths and weaknesses without inflating or diminishing them. This can allow you to tell stories with authenticity and confidence, without tipping into arrogance or self-deprecation.)

Step 2: Immerse Your Audience

Dicks explains that effective storytelling has the power to envelop an audience, making them feel as though they are living through the events of the story alongside the characters. This immersion creates a more emotionally powerful experience for the audience, but it can be hard to attain and easy to break.

To keep your audience engrossed in the world of your story, follow these tips:

Tip #1: Show up, but don’t show off. Dicks recommends that you wear nondescript clothing and advises against using physical objects like props to illustrate events. Flashy clothes and props can distract your audience from the story you’re telling.

Tip #2: Immerse your audience in the story, and don’t draw their attention to the fact it’s a story. For example, Dicks suggests that you avoid addressing the audience directly, and don’t start by saying something like, “This tale is about the worst day of my life.”

Tip #3: Use the present tense. According to Dicks, this helps the audience feel as if the story is unfolding in real time, which helps them more deeply experience the story as if they were actually involved in it.

Don’t Break the Fourth Wall—Or Maybe Do

Dicks emphasizes the importance of immersive storytelling and warns against using tactics that would pull your audience out of the narrative. The film world has a correlate to this concept: Don’t break the fourth wall. The fourth wall is an imaginary barrier that separates actors on screen from the audience. When the fourth wall is intact, viewers feel as though they’re part of the story, experiencing events alongside the characters. This immersion allows for a deeper emotional connection and investment in the narrative. In contrast, when the fourth wall is broken, the audience’s focus shifts from the story to their role as spectators.

Like Dicks, film experts generally advise actors not to break the fourth wall by addressing the audience, looking at the camera, or using meta-narratives that discuss the plot or character motivations. However, some films like Scream and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off are famous for breaking the fourth wall in ways the audience found entertaining and inventive. Some successful novels use this technique, too, like Jane Eyre and The Catcher in the Rye.

It can be hard to break the fourth wall in a way that doesn’t feel gimmicky. If you want to avoid breaking it, follow Dicks’s tips—public speaking experts agree that you should wear simple clothes, use minimal props if any, and use the present tense to help your audience focus on what you’re saying. However, since the fourth wall separates the storyteller from the audience, some argue that breaking it can foster greater intimacy—so it may be worthwhile to experiment with techniques for breaking the fourth wall in your stories. For example, say you’re telling a story about a time when you felt nervous. You might break the fourth wall by saying something like, “I felt more nervous then than I do now, telling this story on stage!”

Step 3: Choose Your Words Wisely

Recall that the reason for sharing your story, according to Dicks, is to make a heartfelt connection with your audience. To achieve this, it’s essential to choose your words wisely. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

Tip #1: Avoid offensive words. This includes graphic descriptions of sex or bodily functions, which can repel and alienate your audience. It also includes profanity. Dicks says you should save curse words for when they’re absolutely necessary to get your point across, and try to come up with creative workarounds whenever possible.

(Shortform note: Dicks believes offensive words and material can alienate your audience, but that may not always be the case. It all comes down to a maxim among writers: Know your audience. For example, in an adults-only venue, telling a story that’s laced with profanity or sexual innuendo might be acceptable. Similarly, if you’re a doctor speaking to other doctors, it’s probably fine to include some gruesome details about the human body—your audience is likely immune to it.)

Tip #2: Be mindful of accents. If you imitate someone’s accent, it might seem like you’re making fun of them based on cultural or racial stereotypes—so as a rule, it’s best to avoid using accents. However, Dicks says it’s sometimes OK to mimic the language of your own culture; if your family members or neighbors have an accent that’s part of your lived experience, you can authentically incorporate it into your storytelling.

(Shortform note: As you decide whether to use an accent, consider this common framework among comedians: punching up versus punching down. When you punch down, you make fun of someone in a less powerful position than you (for example, someone subjected to racist stereotypes). Audiences often receive this poorly. In contrast, you punch up when you make fun of someone more prestigious than you—for example, by mimicking someone’s hoity-toity speech. Audiences are more likely to accept this kind of rhetorical move. Dicks advises punching horizontally by mimicking people of the same social station as you, but it may also be safe to punch up.)

Tip #3: Protect others’ privacy. Dicks explains that using other people’s real names in your story can lead to unintended consequences, especially if the content of your story is sensitive or potentially damaging. Using real names might also affect your relationships with these people, as they may feel uncomfortable with the publicity or misrepresented by your portrayal. To avoid these issues, consider using pseudonyms or general descriptions instead of real names.

(Shortform note: If the person you’re discussing is dead or unimportant to you, it might be OK to use their real name as you paint them in a negative light. This may be why, for example, actor Jennette McCurdy felt safe exploring her mother Debra’s abusive behavior in her memoir I’m Glad My Mom Died. But if you value a person’s reputation or legacy, it’s probably best to speak only positively about them or to obscure identifying information. This may include not only their real name but also details about their life, like where they live or what they do for work.)