PDF Summary:Never Eat Alone, by Keith Ferrazzi

According to author and entrepreneur Keith Ferrazzi, developing fulfilling and mutually beneficial professional relationships, or successfully networking is crucial to career success. Becoming a prolific networker will give you a reputation for having good people skills, making it easier for you to gain positions managing others. Likewise, if you already know and get on well with company leaders, they may choose to do business with you rather than people they don’t know.

In Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi gives tips on building and maintaining a professional network. Learn how to network with people who can help you achieve your goals; how to use conferences to network; and how to use social media to get new contacts to come to you.

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How to Arrange a Meeting

You can arrange a meeting with a new contact either by email or by phone. In either case, you can increase the chances of the person agreeing to meet with you by:

1) Making the person aware of your existence before you contact them. For example, if you and your desired contact have a mutual friend, ask that friend to tell the contact you’re going to call them. Even more importantly, request that your friend say nice things about you. Their backing will give you more credibility in the eyes of your potential contact.

2) Immediately stating what you have to offer. Most professionals don’t have time for long phone conversations or to read long emails. Unless you grab their attention quickly by revealing what you can offer them, they’ll make an excuse to end the call, or will stop reading the email.

3) Offering a specific invitation to meet. Suggest a date, time, place, and type of meeting: “How about we meet for lunch next Tuesday at 12, at the bistro around the corner from your office?” People are more likely to follow through on concrete plans.

What to Talk About During the Meeting

Here are four things to talk about during networking meetings::

1. Shared interests: As we’ve already noted, bonding with someone is easier if you have a shared interest. Not only will talking about this interest strengthen your connection, but you’ll also have fun as you both enthuse about the thing you love.
2. Interesting facts: These could be interesting facts about yourself or about the world more broadly. Presenting intriguing information will help to keep your new contact engaged in your conversation.
3. What motivates your contact: Finding out what motivates a person will help you to further establish what you should offer them. For instance, if they’re motivated by a desire for wealth, you can earn their approval by sending them high-paying job vacancies.
4. What you have to offer. You hopefully already indicated what you can offer your contact while you were arranging your meeting. Don’t be afraid to reiterate this point when you actually meet the person, to remind them why getting to know you is a good idea.

Strategy #2: Network at Conferences

Conferences are great places to network because they’re full of people you already have something in common with: You’re all interested in the conference’s theme. Here are some tips on how to make strong professional connections at conferences:

• Help to organize the conference. You’ll gain “insider knowledge” of who’s attending the event, meaning you can research potential connections far in advance.
• Speak at the conference. When the attendees hear that you’re making a speech, they’ll immediately assume that you’re an important figure in your field. They’ll therefore be more receptive to your networking advances.
• Ask questions during talks. If your question is insightful, you’ll pique people’s interest in you.
• Organize an unofficial conference meetup with people you want to network with. For instance, suggest a trip to the conference center’s bar to discuss the talks. This ensures that you get to spend time with the people you want to get to know.
• Make friends with a “big name” at the event—for example, a speaker with an insightful discussion topic. These popular attendees are often introduced to dozens of people. If you’re lucky, your new friend will introduce you to these people, who you can then network with.
• Come armed with interesting information. For instance, research the best restaurants near the conference venue. Then, share this information regularly to gain a reputation for being “in the know.” Potential new contacts will approach you for information.
• Master the art of creating a strong connection with someone new in a short time. You can do this by asking the person a couple of personal questions; revealing something vulnerable about yourself; and making it clear that you’re listening to the person, for instance, by asking questions about what they’ve said.
• Only try to connect with three or four new people at each conference. Try to network with any more people than this, and you’ll find yourself prematurely ending conversations so that you can move on to speaking to the next person. Such behavior is rude and won’t win you any new friends.

Strategy #3: Network Using Social Media

This strategy involves connecting with new people using social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. There are two ways to do this:

Method #1: Approach social media users directly. First, decide which social media users you want to connect with—for example, professionals who work in your industry. Then, send these users a private message expressing your interest in getting to know them.

Method #2: Inspire social media users to approach you. Create compelling social media content that piques people’s interest and makes them want to get to know you. Types of compelling content include:

• Posts about what you have to offer: for instance, your skills. These posts demonstrate why connecting with you is a good idea.
• Posts with useful information: for example, tips on how to succeed in your field. Social media users are more likely to engage with people who produce helpful content.
• Posts about your successes: for instance, about a recent promotion. These posts attract users who want to bask in your positivity.
• Posts about your failures: for example, about a business opportunity that came to nothing. Being honest about the harder parts of your life will earn social media users' respect and help them relate to you.
• Posts on controversial topics: for instance, about a current political issue. These are often the posts that get the most attention, as social media users rush to either agree or argue with your perspective.
• Posts that are unique: for instance, that take a format that nobody else has tried before. People are more likely to follow you if they can’t find content like yours anywhere else.

No matter what type of content you choose to create, make sure that it reflects your authentic personality. If you present a “fake” version of yourself on social media and then go on to meet your followers in “real life,” they’ll be disappointed to discover that you’re a totally different person.

Strategy #4: Network Using Traditional Media

Getting coverage in a media outlet—for example, by publishing an opinion piece in a newspaper—exposes you to an audience of thousands or sometimes millions of people. Some of these readers will be so impressed by your ideas that they want to hear more about them. They’ll reach out to you—and thus, a new connection is born.

The simplest way to get media coverage is to follow these five steps:

1. Decide what type of content you want to pitch and what topic you want to write about. For instance, you may want to write a lengthy opinion piece on a prescient social issue. To increase the chances that editors accept your idea, make it original—for example, approach an old issue from a new angle.
2. Decide which publication you’d like to feature in. Start small—for instance, with a local newspaper. National media outlets are unlikely to accept a pitch from someone who’s had no previous media exposure.
3. Write and send your pitch. Describe your piece's main point, why you think that point is interesting, and why you’re the right person to write about it. Editors are busy people and will likely ignore any pitches that take a long time to read.
4. Follow up with the publication. A few days to a week after you send your pitch, email the editor to find out whether they plan to run your piece. If they do, start to draft the final article. If they don’t, be gracious: If you berate the editor for rejecting you, they won’t be open to working with you in the future.
5. Send the completed article to the publication. Once it’s in print (or posted online), share it widely: for instance, post a link to it on social media. Getting media coverage is an impressive achievement that you shouldn’t be afraid to flaunt.

Maintain Your Network

Once you’ve made professional connections, it’s important to put in the work to keep these relationships strong; otherwise, your new network will quickly crumble. Regularly follow up with your contacts and look for ways to help them.

Follow Up

“Following up” with members of your professional network means regularly checking in with them, either by phone, by email, or in person. The conversation or meeting may involve asking the contact for updates on their personal and professional life, and telling them what’s been going on with you. You may discuss commitments made in a previous meeting (for instance, discussing the details of an investment opportunity you’ve agreed to). Or, you may simply enjoy each other’s company.

Following up with your contacts is important for two reasons. First, reaching out to people regularly shows that you care about them enough to want to keep your connection strong. People are more likely to continue relationships that make them feel appreciated. Second, if you fail to follow up with new contacts, they’ll forget about you. Professionals meet dozens of new people each week. By following up with these contacts, you ensure your name sticks in their mind.

When and How Often to Follow Up

How often you should follow up with your contacts varies depending on how long you’ve known them and the closeness of your relationship:

• If you’ve just met a contact for the first time, follow up with them within 12 to 24 hours. Send them a brief email or note that thanks them for meeting with you, reminds them of any commitments made, and suggests that you meet again in the future. This will create a good impression and encourage the contact to continue your relationship.
• Follow up with new contacts for a second time within a month of your first meeting. Ideally, arrange your second meeting at this point.
• If you’ve met a contact a few times but don’t feel like you’re close friends yet, follow up at least once a month until you’ve reached that stage. You don’t have to meet with the person every month—just contact them to ask how they are.
• Once you’ve become close friends with a contact, you can get away with following up with them only quarterly.
• If you’re not close to a contact and aren’t interested in deepening the relationship, follow up with them once a year. This keeps them on your radar in case you need them for something (or they need you) but doesn’t require much effort.

As your network grows, you’ll find it increasingly time-consuming to follow up with all of your professional contacts regularly. To keep up with everyone, “never eat alone”: In other words, use every lunch break you have to meet up with your contacts.

Look for Ways to Help Your Contacts

Regularly offer your contacts help—whether that’s financial help, career advice, or emotional support. The more you help a contact, the more they’ll appreciate you, and the more they’ll want to keep you in their life. You can find ways to help your contacts by:

• Listening closely during conversations to see if they hint at needing anything. For instance, if a contact mentions they’re looking for investors to support a new business venture, that’s your cue to offer funds (if you can).
• Keeping up with your contacts’ social media to see if their posts indicate that they need something. For instance, if a contact Tweets about going through a tough time, that’s a sign they need your emotional support.
• Remembering people’s motivations, and looking for ways to fulfill them. For instance, if you know that your contact is motivated by a wish to change the world for the better, send them a job posting for a role at a non-profit that would allow them to do this. They’ll appreciate your help in bringing them closer to achieving their dream.

What if your contact doesn’t need anything specific, but you still want to get in their good books? Ferrazzi argues that helping contacts with these three things will always please them, regardless of their motivations or circumstances:

1. Health: for example, by recommending a doctor you trust to an unwell contact. Everyone wants to stay physically and mentally well so that they can reach their full potential.
2. Wealth: for example, by helping a contact to find a high-paying job. People want to have enough money to live comfortably and provide for their families.
3. Children: for example, by offering to mentor a contact’s child. People’s children mean everything to them. If you help the child, the parents will hold you in high esteem.