PDF Summary:Left on Tenth, by Delia Ephron

In her memoir Left on Tenth, Delia Ephron recounts the profound impact of her acute myeloid leukemia diagnosis and the harrowing journey of her life-saving bone marrow transplant. Ephron details the intense physical and emotional challenges she faced, from the grueling side effects of chemotherapy to wrestling with existential despair, all while finding solace in the steadfast support of her loved ones.

Woven throughout Ephron's story is the tender blossoming of her romance with Peter, as well as cherished moments spent with her tight-knit circle of female friends. As she navigates the complex feelings of grief over losing her dog and the guilt of outliving her sister Nora, who battled a similar illness, Ephron's determination to heal steadily emerges in a moving portrait of resilience and the power of human connection.

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The author and Peter swiftly developed a profound connection, offering mutual emotional support while the author faced health challenges.

Despite the recent losses they each bore and the miles that lay between them, Delia and Peter discovered a significant and deeply rooted connection. Their shared grief, combined with their intellectual curiosity and mutual understanding, solidified their bond. Upon learning of her blood cancer just as their relationship began, their connection quickly grew into a significant source of encouragement and hope for Ephron.

Throughout her battle with sickness, the author garners considerable fortitude from the steadfast encouragement provided by her companions.

This passage emphasizes the pivotal role that the steadfast encouragement from her intimate companions had in uplifting her morale while she confronted health obstacles, showcasing the strong bond among women and its essential part in preserving her positive outlook.

The author draws strength from a supportive circle of female friends, including Jessie and Deena, who offer her practical help and moral support.

During her illness and recovery, Ephron received unwavering support from a tight-knit group of women friends, among them Jessie and Deena. These women provided practical and emotional support, offering advice, encouragement, and a listening ear. Jessie, with patience and empathy, provided a supportive ear, assisting Ephron in working through her worries and doubts. Deena, ever the pragmatist, provided insights into writing and life, grounding Ephron with her calm, methodical approach. Meredith, savvy and astute regarding medical matters, served as a valuable resource, offering advice and interpretations of complex medical information. A steadfast group of women friends offered consistent support throughout the challenging times she faced due to her health condition.

The author discovers comfort and camaraderie with enduring friends, notably Julia and Richard.

Delia Ephron received significant support from her tight-knit circle of friends, which included Julia and Richard from Wales. Their home, nestled in the tranquil valley of the Wye, transformed into a haven filled with moments of happiness and meaningful conversations. As Richard grappled with the progression of Parkinson's disease, he offered insight and support, encouraging Ephron to embrace her journey toward recovery and the reawakening of her capacity for love. Her relentless energy and voracious zest for living provided Ephron with a refreshing perspective on the oddities and joys that exist outside the boundaries of illness. Ephron discovered comfort and resilience through the steadfast companionship and cherished recollections of joyful past times, highlighting the profound and enduring bonds that withstood health challenges and spans of separation.

The writer grapples with the sorrow that arises from losing her beloved dog and the memories of her late sibling, Nora.

This segment of the story reveals the author's journey through the complex maze of grief as she grapples with the anguish of parting with her cherished canine companion, Honey, while she faces her own health issues and deals with persistent feelings of responsibility and connection to her deceased sister, Nora.

The author was deeply affected by the loss of her cherished dog, Honey, who had been a source of comfort after her partner passed away.

While undergoing treatment, Ephron was devastated to learn that her beloved dog, Honey, was suffering from an untreatable illness. Delia Ephron grappled with profound sorrow and a sense of obligation, finding the prospect of yet another bereavement shortly after her partner's passing to be unbearable. Her own deteriorating health magnified her feelings, leaving her engulfed in overwhelming sorrow and hopelessness. Faced with the difficult decision of going back to New York to support Honey during her last moments, she wrestled with her personal fears and the nervousness of making the trip by herself, but chose to remain hopeful and pray for Honey's fortitude. While in the southern part of the Golden State, she learned about her companion's rapidly deteriorating condition and said goodbye using a deeply moving video conversation.

The author contends with a sense of guilt and confusion for having survived her sibling, even though she encountered similar health struggles.

While grappling with acute myeloid leukemia, Ephron simultaneously navigated complex emotions due to her sister Nora's death, who succumbed to a similar blood malignancy. She bore a profound sense of duty and confusion for having survived her sister, despite their differing health issues, while also having the advantage of more advanced medical treatments. Ephron contemplated whether Nora, known for her steadfast determination and systematic problem-solving, would have chosen the rigorous therapy that combined haploid cells and stem cells harvested from a newborn's lifeline if the option had been present during her illness. These reflections highlight the deep bond between the sisters and the lasting impact Nora's death had on Ephron.

Practical Tips

• Reconnect with an old friend by sending a heartfelt message reflecting on a shared memory and expressing a desire to catch up. This can rekindle a friendship and potentially provide mutual support. For example, think of a friend from your past with whom you've lost touch, recall a positive experience you shared, and reach out via social media or email to share that memory and ask how they've been.
• Create a support network by starting a monthly virtual hangout with close friends. This can be a space for emotional support and shared experiences. Use a platform like Zoom or Skype to schedule regular calls where everyone can share updates on their lives, offer support, and enjoy camaraderie, much like a virtual book club but for personal stories and support.
• Honor the memory of a lost pet or loved one by starting a journal of your favorite memories with them. Writing can be therapeutic and help you process grief. Dedicate a notebook to this purpose and write down anecdotes, lessons learned, or simply moments that you cherish. This can serve as a personal tribute and a source of comfort during tough times.

The author's physical and emotional hurdles during recovery

Ephron narrates the arduous path of recovery she navigated in her autobiography following a procedure to replace her bone marrow.

The author embarks on a difficult journey toward healing following a bone marrow transplant.

Delia Ephron embarked on a challenging and unpredictable path to regain equilibrium after receiving a new organ.

The therapy led to the author suffering from nausea, weakness, and cognitive challenges.

Upon leaving the hospital, Ephron continued to confront significant adverse effects. The relentless nausea, crippling weakness, and persistent cognitive issues made everyday tasks a struggle. The constant need for assistance underscored the profound impact the treatment had had on her body and mind, hampering her ability to regain her independence. Her apprehension intensified with concerns over possible unexpected complications and the uncertain trajectory of her recuperation.

Throughout her challenging recuperation, the writer often grapples with despondency and a compulsion to surrender.

Ephron had expected her return home to provide solace, yet she encountered a deep and unsettling gloom. This was new territory for her. Despite the constant support from Peter and the encouragement she received from her friends, she struggled to find any meaning or direction in her fragile existence. The relentless fight against physical side effects, combined with the pervasive dread of a possible recurrence, gradually eroded her optimism and confidence in the prospect of a more hopeful tomorrow. She was compelled to capitulate to a sense of isolation, despite being in the company of those dearest to her.

Physical therapy is essential in the gradual restoration of the author's vitality and independence.

The excerpt illustrates her steadfast commitment to restoring her physical capabilities, highlighting her methodical strategy for recuperation and the joy she discovered in the small triumphs that ultimately led to her reclaiming independence.

The author works diligently with a physical therapist to rebuild her muscle strength and mobility

With unwavering commitment, Ephron diligently worked with her physical therapist, Jessica, to regain her lost strength and mobility. Her path to recovery demanded unwavering dedication to regain her vitality, learning anew how to stand up from a chair, and gradually increasing the length of her ambulatory excursions.

The author derives immense pleasure from each small victory, including the restoration of her ability to climb the stairs at home, which marks a gradual return to independence.

As her strength gradually returned, she celebrated small victories. With Peter and their cherished dog Charlotte by her side, she discovered that short walks were a significant step toward reclaiming her autonomy. She even became adept at navigating the stairway in her home, which stretches over two levels, a task she previously thought was too difficult to overcome.

The author grapples with lingering anxiety and uncertainty about her long-term health

The story underscores the mental hurdles Ephron grappled with during her recovery, particularly her persistent fear of cancer returning and the complex feelings associated with returning to daily life after a close encounter with death.

The author remains fearful that her cancer could return, even after achieving remission

Even as she recuperated, the concern that the cancer could recur loomed over her recovery. Upon learning that AML frequently returns around two years after undergoing a transplant, her worry deepened. Every ache, pain, or unusual symptom fueled her worries, creating a constant state of vigilance. The incident highlights the psychological complexities of facing a serious disease and its lasting impact on a person's trust in their health and outlook on life, even though she later recognized her initial misinterpretation of the information her doctor provided.

During her recuperation, the author finds it challenging to re-establish ties with the external environment and certain connections.

Returning to everyday life presented its own set of challenges. Ephron struggled with feelings of discomfort and exposure when interacting socially. Revealing her challenges to those unaware of her difficulties became a burdensome experience, resulting in feelings of isolation and a natural inclination to shield herself from their reactions. She strove to find equilibrium between her yearning to regain her previous lifestyle and the imperative to safeguard her fragile mental and physical well-being. Her illness profoundly altered her self-perception and significantly transformed her interaction with the environment around her.

Practical Tips

• You can track your small victories to boost morale during recovery by keeping a "victory journal" where you note down even the smallest achievements each day, like taking a few extra steps, managing to stay awake for a longer period, or remembering something you thought you had forgotten. This practice can help you see tangible progress and maintain a positive outlook, similar to how the author felt immense pleasure from climbing the stairs.
• Create a personalized "anxiety toolkit" that includes activities or items that help you feel grounded when uncertainty about health or the future causes anxiety. This could be a playlist of calming music, a collection of motivational quotes, a stress ball, or a list of breathing exercises. Having this toolkit on hand can provide immediate relief during moments of anxiety, offering a sense of control and peace.
• Engage in "micro-socializing" to gently re-establish connections with the outside world without overwhelming yourself. Start with sending a text message to a friend, having a brief chat with a neighbor, or joining an online forum that interests you. These small interactions can help you ease back into social ties at your own pace, reducing the sense of isolation that can come with a long recuperation period.