PDF Summary:It's Not What You Think, by Sabeeha Rehman

In It's Not What You Think, Sabeeha Rehman shares her unique cultural experiences as an American expatriate and follower of Islam living in Saudi Arabia. She offers an intimate perspective on the complexities and seeming contradictions within Saudi society, where deep-rooted customs coexist alongside modern influences.

Rehman chronicles her immersion in traditions like the hijab and regional attire, and the dynamics of gender relations both socially and professionally—navigating religious duties amidst familial responsibilities and profound spiritual awakenings. Her narrative provides a nuanced portrait of life in Saudi Arabia through times of cultural transformation and pivotal global events.

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Rehman perceives the pilgrimage to Mecca as an experience that transcends mere ceremonial acts, deepening her spiritual bond, broadening her understanding of Islamic traditions, and nurturing a profound sense of humility and gratitude. She is especially touched by the vision of people of all ages and abilities, earnestly navigating physical obstacles and administrative barriers, showing their unwavering commitment and devotion as they strive to complete their sacred journey.

Practical Tips

• Create a visual journal to capture the essence of important journeys in your life, using mixed media such as photos, sketches, and descriptive writing to emulate the solemnity and splendor you want to remember. This can be a personal project to reflect on the transformative experiences you've had, similar to a pilgrimage, and to give them the reverence they deserve.
• Initiate a small, informal "Journey Circle" with friends or acquaintances where each person shares stories from their life's journey. During these gatherings, encourage participants to reflect on how their paths have crossed with others and the collective wisdom gained. This practice can foster a sense of community and highlight the shared human experience, reinforcing the idea that no journey is taken alone.
• Use a small, soft object to symbolically 'throw away' daily frustrations or negative thoughts, similar to the act of throwing pebbles at pillars. This could be tossing pebbles into a bowl or softly against a pillow as a way to physically manifest the release of personal obstacles or challenges.
• Engage in local community service projects that align with the values of the pilgrimage. Look for opportunities to serve those in need, as acts of charity and compassion are central to Islamic teachings. By doing so, you can experience the communal and selfless spirit of the pilgrimage, fostering spiritual growth and a practical application of Islamic traditions in your daily life.
• Start a daily 'gratitude walk' in your neighborhood to reflect on what you're thankful for and the lessons learned from simple observations. As you walk, focus on the environment around you, the people you see, and the feelings you experience. This practice can help cultivate a sense of humility by recognizing the vastness of the world and gratitude for the small joys and comforts in your life.
• Volunteer for a local community project that aims to improve a common space, like a park or community center. Working alongside neighbors without regard to individual backgrounds fosters a sense of communal purpose and mirrors the collective effort seen in larger congregations. This could be cleaning up litter, planting a community garden, or painting a mural – the key is that it benefits everyone and requires collective action.
• Develop empathy for those facing barriers by engaging in a day of experience. Choose a day to navigate your routine using a wheelchair or wearing a blindfold, for example, to personally understand the challenges faced by individuals with disabilities. This firsthand experience can be eye-opening and may inspire you to advocate for better accessibility in your community or to provide feedback to local businesses and institutions on how they can improve.
• Start a commitment journal to track and reflect on your daily efforts towards a specific goal. This practice can help maintain a high level of dedication similar to that of a pilgrimage. In your journal, record not only what you did each day to advance towards your goal but also write down how it connects to the bigger picture of your 'pilgrimage'. For instance, if you're training for a marathon, note your daily runs and how each one brings you closer to the physical and mental endurance needed for the race day.

Navigating the complexities of familial duties and chances for self-improvement while in an unfamiliar country.

This part of the story explores the intricate balance and advantages of aligning professional advancement and individual development with family responsibilities, particularly when living overseas and far from her children and grandchildren.

Strengthening bonds with spouse through shared experiences

Rehman's relocation to Saudi Arabia fortuitously strengthened her bond with her spouse, Khalid. Discovering and embracing different customs together fortifies their relationship and offers shared support. They find joy in simple acts like taking walks together after work, exploring local markets, and sharing meals, fostering a renewed sense of intimacy as they create a new life together away from familiar surroundings.

Rehman proposes that the difficulties encountered while residing in an unfamiliar country serve to strengthen their bond, as they jointly explore new terrain, which in turn cultivates a more profound reciprocal comprehension and esteem. She emphasizes the comfort she derived from Khalid's company during her medical procedure, highlighting how crucial his support was in potentially stressful moments.

Practical Tips

• Organize a 'Picnic in the Park' day where you invite people to bring homemade food and enjoy communal games like frisbee or charades. This combines the joy of eating together with the fun of outdoor activities, encouraging new friendships and strengthening existing bonds in an informal, relaxed setting.
• Start a 'new country diary' with a travel companion where you both write down daily experiences, especially the challenging ones, and reflect on them together at the end of each day. This shared reflection can turn individual struggles into collective memories, strengthening your connection.
• Engage in a 'role-reversal' exercise with a partner where you each take on the other's hobbies or interests for a day. By immersing yourself in the other person's world, you gain a firsthand understanding of what they enjoy and why. If your partner loves gardening while you're more of a tech enthusiast, spend a day teaching each other the basics of your interests, which could lead to a newfound appreciation or a shared hobby.
• Volunteer to be a patient advocate for someone in need by offering to attend medical appointments with them, taking notes, and asking questions they might forget. This helps ensure they have all the information they need and feel less alone during the process.

She grappled with a deep yearning for the solace of her native land, coupled with the distress caused by the distance separating her from her children and grandchildren.

While adjusting to her new environment, Rehman candidly shares her struggle with homesickness and the emotional weight of being distant from her children and grandchildren during significant occasions like weddings and the birth of new relatives. The writer recounts her profound emotional odyssey that commenced as she welcomed her inaugural grandchild while residing in Saudi Arabia, an experience that grew even more poignant upon learning of her grandson Omar's autism diagnosis.

Sabeeha Rehman's frank portrayal of her desire for meaningful relationships highlights the complex feelings she navigated while living abroad, surrounded by a nurturing environment and participating in fulfilling pursuits. She expresses her deep desire to be present for her family during challenging times and to witness her grandchildren's formative years, underscoring the universal desire for familial bonds.

Practical Tips

• Create a digital family scrapbook to bridge the emotional distance with loved ones. By compiling photos, videos, and notes in a shared online album, you can maintain a sense of closeness and shared history with your family. For example, use a cloud-based photo service where each family member can contribute and view memories anytime, keeping the connection alive despite physical distance.
• Start a journal dedicated to capturing your thoughts and feelings about your native land. Use this as a space to reflect on what you miss, the memories you cherish, and how your heritage shapes your identity. This practice can provide a sense of closeness to your origins and help you process feelings of longing.
• Start a tradition of sending personalized video messages for significant events you miss, where you share your thoughts, well-wishes, and any anecdotes that relate to the person or event. This can make your presence felt and show your family that you're with them in spirit, even if you can't be there physically.
• Write personalized letters to new family members at pivotal moments. For a newborn or a newly married couple, write a letter expressing your hopes, dreams, and the love you have for them. Seal these letters and hand them over during a special occasion, or keep them safe to be given at a future date, creating a heartfelt tradition and a tangible expression of your emotions.
• Start a family book or movie club, choosing titles that resonate with your shared experiences or heritage. This gives you a common topic to discuss during calls or online meetings, helping to bridge the gap by engaging in shared cultural activities.
• Set up a daily 10-minute "family huddle" where you and your family members can share your day's highs and lows. This practice fosters a routine of presence and support, allowing you to be there for your family consistently, even amidst a busy schedule.
• Set up a weekly virtual storytime with your grandchildren using video calls. You can read them a story, watch them react, and engage in conversations about the book. This not only allows you to be a part of their learning and development but also builds a personal tradition that they'll remember.
• Create a "relationship goal" map where you outline the types of relationships you want to cultivate while living abroad. This could include friendships, professional networks, or cultural exchange partners. Having a visual representation can help you stay focused on your social objectives and encourage you to take actionable steps towards building these connections.
• Create a family gratitude jar where everyone can drop notes about what they appreciate in other family members. At the end of each month, read the notes together to reinforce the value of family appreciation. This could include simple thank-yous for everyday actions, acknowledgments of personal achievements, or expressions of love and support.

The book provides a thorough examination of cultural expectations, social constraints, and the distinct roles held by men and women within Saudi Arabian society.

In this section, Rehman delves into the customs, community expectations, and gender-specific roles prevalent in Saudi Arabian culture. She contemplates the changing status of women, the interplay between traditional practices and modern existence, and the differing realities of expatriates and Saudi citizens.

The transformation in gender relations is reflected in the evolving positions and social status of women within the culture of Saudi Arabia.

Rehman offers an insightful examination of the changing roles and positions of women within Saudi society. She observes a growing trend of female professionals assuming key roles in sectors like finance and technology, which plays a substantial role in the nation's progress. Rehman notes that women in Saudi Arabia often exhibit significant ingenuity in navigating the constraints of a male-dominated society, using their skills and understanding to bring about meaningful changes in their fields.

However, Rehman emphasizes that despite these developments, the journey toward equal gender representation in Saudi Arabia remains long and complex. The persistence of patriarchal norms and the struggle for true autonomy for women continue, demanding a delicate balance between embracing progressive ideas and respecting deeply rooted cultural values.

Women from Saudi Arabia are increasingly visible and engaged in societal roles.

Rehman notes a significant rise in the participation of women from Saudi Arabia in various social functions, particularly with respect to their growing presence in the workforce. She observed that in King Faisal Hospital, female Saudi professionals held significant roles within the administrative and healthcare sectors, often managing groups that included male staff members. She finds the growing participation of Saudi women in professional careers particularly heartening, marking a significant change from the past male-dominated leadership in the financial sector.

Rehman perceives this trend as an indication of the evolving societal norms, with women increasingly stepping out of conventional domestic roles to contribute their expertise and abilities in various sectors. The author suggests that this increased consciousness signals a growing recognition of women's potential and a loosening of traditional restrictions on their roles in society.

Practical Tips

• You can learn from the leadership styles of female Saudi professionals by observing and adapting their methods to your own workplace. Start by researching articles or interviews featuring female leaders in Saudi Arabia's administrative and healthcare sectors. Notice how they communicate, make decisions, and lead mixed-gender teams. Then, try to incorporate these behaviors in your own work environment, whether it's leading a meeting or collaborating on a project.
• Start a book club focused on works by female authors who write about non-traditional roles for women. This can be a space to explore and discuss different perspectives, which can broaden your understanding of the challenges and opportunities women face in various sectors.
• You can amplify women's achievements in your daily conversations to challenge stereotypes. When discussing professionals or leaders in any field, make a conscious effort to mention successful women and their contributions. For example, if talking about space exploration, bring up astronauts like Mae Jemison or Christina Koch to highlight women's roles in traditionally male-dominated fields.

The persistent struggle against traditional patriarchal norms and the quest for true autonomy.

While Rehman acknowledges the positive strides made, she also points out that entrenched patriarchal traditions still pose considerable challenges to women seeking true autonomy within Saudi society. She narrates her own experiences, highlighting the deep-rooted legal and social norms that require women to obtain permission from their male relatives, even for decisions that seem personal, such as when she had to get her husband's consent to enter the job market.

Despite these limitations, Rehman emphasizes the increasing presence of women from Saudi Arabia in expanding their traditional roles and becoming more visible in professional and social environments. However, she underscores the battle for genuine independence, which includes personal, economic, and career-related aspects.

The path toward liberation is complex and unending.

Practical Tips

• Engage in conversations with friends and family about positive societal changes, focusing on the progress made rather than the shortcomings. This can help shift the narrative from criticism to appreciation, which can be empowering and inspire more constructive participation in societal development.
• Create a "challenge the norm" jar where you put a small amount of money each time you recognize a patriarchal tradition in your daily life. Use the funds collected to support organizations or initiatives that promote women's autonomy. This tangible action serves as a constant reminder to question and recognize patriarchal structures and contributes to efforts that empower women.
• Create a shared vision board with your partner that includes both of your career aspirations and lifestyle goals. This visual tool can help align your ambitions and serve as a constant reminder of the shared path you're on. Include images, quotes, and symbols that represent the kind of professional life you both aspire to have, and revisit it regularly to track progress and make adjustments.
• Encourage inclusive networking by organizing or participating in mixed-gender social groups. Join or create groups that focus on professional development and ensure they are welcoming to all genders. By actively engaging with women in these settings, you contribute to a more balanced and diverse professional environment.
• Establish a personal budget that aligns with your independence goals. Track your spending for a month to understand where your money goes, then create a budget that prioritizes savings and investments. Use budgeting apps to set alerts for when you're approaching your spending limits in certain categories. By doing this, you're not only cutting unnecessary expenses but also building a financial cushion that supports personal independence.
• Create a "Liberation Playlist" of music, podcasts, or speeches that inspire feelings of freedom and resilience. Listen to this playlist during moments of self-doubt or when facing challenges. The act of curating and engaging with this content can serve as a reminder of the ongoing nature of your personal liberation path and provide motivation when it's needed most.

Interplay between religion, tradition, and modernity in shaping Saudi identity

Rehman explores the complex relationship among religion, tradition, and contemporary influences that shape Saudi identity, underscoring the conflicting and often contradictory forces that the nation confronts amidst global influences.

The monarchy plays a crucial role in maintaining cultural traditions alongside religious organizations.

Rehman observes how the country's identity is shaped by the Saudi royal family's impact, which includes upholding age-old traditions alongside a selective adoption of modern practices. She notes that even though the government has embraced advancements in technology and healthcare, it remains firmly committed to the fundamental Islamic values that are deeply rooted in Saudi tradition.

Rehman observes that this approach leads to a unique blend that allows Saudi Arabia to navigate the complexities of worldwide assimilation while maintaining its distinct cultural and spiritual identity.

Other Perspectives

• The selective adoption of modern practices by a monarchy might lead to inconsistencies and contradictions within the society, where certain groups are privileged over others, or some aspects of modernity are embraced while others that are equally important are ignored.
• Advancements in technology and healthcare are often driven by global markets and international standards, which may not always align with or prioritize the preservation of specific cultural or religious traditions.
• The idea of maintaining a distinct identity while assimilating worldwide can be seen as paradoxical, as assimilation often involves adopting elements from other cultures, which can inherently change the original cultural fabric.

Pockets of progressivism and openness coexisting with conservative strongholds

Rehman observes how contrasting currents of thought and practice coexist within Saudi society, from regions that are more open to western influences to conservative strongholds. Sabeeha Rehman's journey, which began in the urban environment of King Faisal Hospital, led her to encounter firsthand the persistent traditions and conservative attitudes prevalent in different areas of the country. The writer highlights the clear distinction between the strict compliance with clothing rules observed in the capital of Saudi Arabia and her observations of women driving freely through the desert, as well as the thriving businesses that women run in the mountainous area of Abha.

In her interactions, Rehman develops an understanding of the multifaceted nature of Saudi society, which exhibits a spectrum of receptiveness to Western influences and diverse conceptions of cultural standards. This intricacy, she proposes, enriches her comprehension and resists straightforward classifications of "liberal" versus "conservative."

Practical Tips

• You can explore cultural diversity within your own community by attending events or festivals that represent different societal groups. By doing this, you'll experience firsthand the coexistence of various ideologies and values, similar to the pockets of progressivism and openness within conservative areas. For example, if there's a cultural fair or an international film festival in your town, make it a point to attend and engage with the participants to gain a broader understanding of the diverse perspectives that exist within your own society.
• You can enhance cultural sensitivity by creating a personal "Openness Index" to track your comfort level with different cultural influences. Start by listing various aspects of Western culture, such as food, fashion, media, and social norms. Rate your comfort level with each on a scale from 1 to 10 weekly, and note any changes or patterns. This self-assessment tool can help you understand your own openness to cultural influences and guide you in exploring new cultural experiences at a comfortable pace.
• Create a photo journal documenting how people dress in different neighborhoods or social settings you visit. Capture images of street fashion, work attire, and event-specific clothing. This visual collection can serve as a personal reflection of the diversity in clothing practices and help you understand the unspoken dress codes that exist within various communities.
• Engage in a creative writing exercise where you describe an ideal journey through a landscape that represents freedom, such as a desert. Write about the sensations, the sights, the sounds, and the emotions you associate with this setting. This activity allows you to mentally and emotionally connect with the concept of freedom, even if you're not able to physically undertake the journey at the moment.
• Connect with local businesswomen through social media to exchange ideas and support each other's ventures. Create a Facebook group or an Instagram page where you can showcase your products or services and learn from others' experiences. This fosters a community of entrepreneurs similar to the thriving business environment in Abha.
• Create a personal blog or vlog series documenting your experiences with Saudi culture, such as trying out Saudi recipes, listening to Saudi music, or watching Saudi films. Reflect on the elements of Western influence you notice in these cultural products and share your thoughts on how they blend with traditional Saudi customs. This will help you process and articulate your understanding of the cultural spectrum.
• You can deepen your understanding of complex societies by starting a cultural journal where you document observations and reflections on different social interactions and customs you encounter in daily life. For instance, if you notice a particular social ritual or behavior that seems unique or hard to classify, write it down, describe your initial thoughts, and reflect on what underlying cultural values might be at play. This practice encourages you to think critically and avoid oversimplifying the rich tapestry of human societies.

The foreign workers encountered experiences that were distinctly unlike those of the nationals in Saudi Arabia.

Rehman delves into the varied situations of people hailing from different nations and the native Saudis, underscoring how their social standing and the community's views shape the opportunities, benefits, and limitations they encounter.

Western expatriates frequently experience a level of liberty and advantages that stand in stark contrast to the limitations endured by the indigenous population.

Rehman acknowledges the privileged position of Western expatriates, particularly those who are employed in healthcare roles with specialized skills, in Saudi Arabian medical institutions. They enjoy the benefits of living in safe areas, earning significant salaries, and taking advantage of numerous benefits, while also participating in an active social life with other expatriates, where they often preserve traditions originating from Western cultures. She observes a significant disparity between common perceptions and the real-life situations of individuals from the less wealthy strata of Saudi society, as well as the obstacles faced by foreign workers hailing from non-Western nations.

Rehman meticulously notes the variances in freedom of movement, social interaction, and access to essential services that set apart expatriates from local inhabitants, highlighting the complex social hierarchy and the disparate opportunities available to different societal groups.

Practical Tips

• Consider volunteering for organizations that support expatriates in healthcare roles. By offering your time to help with administrative tasks, language translation, or simply providing companionship, you'll get a firsthand look at the benefits and challenges faced by these individuals. This experience can provide a practical perspective on the privileges and how they impact daily life.
• Explore relocation to safer neighborhoods by using crime mapping services. Websites like CrimeReports or NeighborhoodScout provide detailed safety statistics for different areas. Compare the safety scores of neighborhoods within your budget to find a place where you can feel more secure.
• Create a peer support network by connecting with colleagues or neighbors from non-Western nations to share experiences and offer mutual assistance. This could be as simple as setting up a group chat or meeting for coffee once a month to discuss challenges and brainstorm solutions together, providing a platform for empowerment and community building.
• Create a local guide that highlights hidden gems in your city from an expatriate's perspective. This project will encourage you to explore your environment with fresh eyes and discover new places and services that you might have overlooked. You could start by visiting areas popular with expatriates and noting what attracts them to these spots, then compile your findings into a digital or physical guidebook for others to use.
• You can deepen your understanding of social hierarchies by observing and noting the dynamics in your workplace or community. Keep a journal for a month where you record instances of hierarchical interactions, noting who holds power and how it affects others' opportunities. This personal research can help you recognize patterns and consider ways to address inequalities in your own sphere of influence.

Divergent societal perceptions and treatment of foreigners versus citizens

Rehman observes a clear divergence in the way society behaves and perceives expatriates in contrast to citizens of Saudi Arabia. In Saudi Arabia, there is a widespread respect for the perspectives and techniques of Westerners, particularly Americans, due to the perception that they possess greater knowledge and expertise, especially in sectors like healthcare and education. Rehman notes that the "Americanization" phenomenon influences healthcare operations and shapes patient preferences, with some specifically seeking treatment from medical professionals of Caucasian descent.

Rehman also emphasizes the benefits that Saudis often enjoy in areas like employment prospects, community support networks, and legal affairs. Sabeeha Rehman suggests that these disparities reflect a deep-rooted prioritization of tribal and national identity in the country, which typically leads to favoring citizens above those who are not.

Other Perspectives

• The preference for Westerners could be seen as a form of bias that may not always be justified, as expertise and knowledge are not exclusive to any one region or group of people.
• The preference for Western healthcare professionals could be diminishing as Saudi Arabia invests in its own educational institutions and as more Saudis attain higher levels of expertise in healthcare fields.
• Patients seeking treatment from professionals of a specific descent may not necessarily be doing so due to a belief in superior expertise, but rather due to a perception of cultural familiarity or language proficiency that can lead to better communication and understanding during treatment.
• The focus on community support networks for citizens may inadvertently isolate foreigners, leading to social divisions and a lack of cultural integration.
• The perception of favoring citizens could be influenced by regulatory frameworks aimed at protecting local employment, which is a legitimate concern for any sovereign nation.

Pivotal events and transformations in the author's life were shaped by events that took place in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

The story explores significant global occurrences that profoundly shaped Rehman's life and career, focusing on the impact these events had across the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. She recounts her own experiences in the period after the September 11 events, emphasizing the time characterized by King Fahad's passing and the gradual emergence of shifts within society.

Following the events of September 11th, they adapted to increased security measures and a range of changes.

The 9/11 attacks had a profound impact on Saudi Arabia, particularly because the perpetrators originated from that country. Rehman recounts the transformations she observed following the event, which encompassed increased security protocols and a discernible alteration in the societal atmosphere. The healthcare facility responded by enforcing stricter identity checks, bolstering defenses against potential threats, and providing assistance to employees coping with the traumatic incident's repercussions.

The event marred their time overseas and led to increased pleas from family members back home, urging them to leave the kingdom. Rehman notes a palpable strain within the nation as it struggled with its international reputation and the consequences arising from its citizens' participation in the assault. The departure of Western expatriates, fueled by individual concerns and pressure from their families, leads to a sense of void and instability among her acquaintances.

The administrative offices, which constitute the professional environment, have increased their vigilance and adopted forward-thinking approaches.

Rehman recounts how, after the incident, there was a significant escalation in the vigilance and protective protocols at her workplace. Access to the hospital was restricted, identity checks were more rigorous, and there was an increase in the number of security personnel on site. She recalls a sense of discomfort during the hospital's enactment of emergency procedures in response to potential dangers.

Rehman observes that such behaviors were reflective of a broader pattern of heightened security precautions throughout the country. In response to the attacks, Saudi officials directly confronted the repercussions, recognizing that the perpetrators were indeed citizens of their own nation, and they worked diligently to offer comfort to nationals and expatriates alike while tackling the issue of extremist beliefs within their borders.

Other Perspectives

• Forward-thinking approaches should balance security with privacy concerns, as heightened surveillance and identity checks might infringe on individual privacy rights.
• The escalation in security could disproportionately affect certain groups of people, potentially leading to profiling or discrimination within the workplace.
• Tighter security could inadvertently create barriers for family members and loved ones who play a crucial role in patient support and recovery.
• Rigorous identity checks can create bottlenecks and inefficiencies, leading to longer wait times and potential delays in accessing necessary services.
• The effectiveness of additional security personnel is contingent on their training and the quality of their coordination with existing security measures, which is not guaranteed by numbers alone.
• Rehman's personal feelings of discomfort may not be shared by all staff or visitors, and some might feel reassured by the heightened security measures.
• The effectiveness of heightened security measures is difficult to assess without empirical evidence demonstrating a reduction in incidents or threats.
• The confrontation of repercussions by Saudi officials could be seen as a necessary political response rather than an indication of a deeper commitment to systemic change.
• The concept of comfort is subjective, and what may be comforting to one individual could be seen as insufficient or even patronizing by another.
• Efforts to tackle extremist beliefs may not address the root causes of radicalization, such as socio-economic disparities or foreign policy grievances.

Navigating the societal and political tensions that arose from the attack.

Rehman navigates the delicate sociopolitical terrain that surfaced in the aftermath of the attack. She observes the challenges faced by Saudi Arabian authorities as they attempt to balance their country's global image with the internal unrest sparked by the attacks. She comes across strong antagonism from some Western expatriates towards Muslims, while noting that a number of Pakistani expatriates are unwavering in their denial of the possibility that Muslims could have committed such an atrocious deed.

Rehman reflects on the challenges of bridging these divergent perspectives. She frequently assumes the role of elucidating Islam's principles of peace and tolerance in an environment rife with unease and suspicion. She also shares her own apprehensions regarding potential retaliatory actions aimed at Muslims within the country, underscoring the mental toll such assaults take on vulnerable communities.

Practical Tips

• Practice conflict resolution in your daily life by initiating conversations with friends or colleagues about contentious topics in a respectful and open-minded manner. Focus on listening and understanding the other person's point of view without trying to win the argument. This can improve your ability to navigate delicate situations and find common ground, mirroring the skills needed in post-attack sociopolitical scenarios.
• Develop a personal blog or social media page where you share insights on balancing diverse perspectives. As you learn more about the complexities of global image versus internal matters, use your platform to discuss these themes and engage with others. This can be a space for constructive dialogue and a way to refine your understanding through feedback and discussion.
• Engage in a 'cultural exchange buddy' system by partnering with someone from the Muslim community to share experiences and perspectives. This could be done through online platforms that connect people from different backgrounds for cultural exchange. Regular conversations with your buddy can provide direct insight into the life and beliefs of a Muslim individual, fostering understanding and reducing prejudice.
• Engage in active media literacy by critically analyzing news sources and their coverage of events. Whenever you come across a story, take the time to research its background, check multiple sources, and understand the context. This practice can help you develop a more nuanced perspective and encourage others to question simplistic explanations of complex events.
• Create a 'Perspective Deck' of cards, each featuring a different role or persona, such as a teacher, an entrepreneur, a student, etc. Whenever you face a decision or conflict, draw a card at random and spend 10 minutes brainstorming how the person represented on the card would handle the situation. This can help you uncover innovative solutions and understand the motivations of others.
• Create a personal 'Tolerance Journal' where you reflect on daily interactions and assess how you could have been more tolerant or peaceful in your responses. This self-reflection can lead to personal growth and a better understanding of how to practice tolerance in everyday life. For instance, if you encountered a situation that made you feel impatient or judgmental, write it down and brainstorm ways you could approach it with more tolerance next time.
• Create a habit of engaging in one-on-one conversations with people who have different beliefs or backgrounds than you do. Make it a goal to have at least one such conversation per week, whether it's with a coworker, a neighbor, or a new acquaintance. Use these discussions to listen actively and share perspectives without the intention of debating. This can help break down stereotypes and build empathy.
• Create a personal reflection journal where you document your observations and feelings about the mental toll on vulnerable communities. Regularly writing down your thoughts after reading news articles, watching documentaries, or having conversations can help you process the information and consider ways to support resilience and healing in your community.

The transition of power was smooth following the passing of King Fahad.

Rehman offers an intimate account of the carefully orchestrated procedures for succession in the Saudi royal family, emphasizing the seamless passage of power from one monarch to the next, specifically from King Fahad to his successor. She narrates the events leading up to the king's death, emphasizing the role of international medical experts involved in his treatment, the strengthening of security measures at the healthcare center, and the widespread feeling of anxiety that enveloped the country while they awaited news about their ruler's deteriorating condition.

Rehman describes the funeral practices as being humble yet dignified, marked by their straightforwardness and adherence to Islamic traditions. The writer highlights that the body of the royal was conveyed on a simple cot to the mosque, which was succeeded by a procession to the burial site, highlighting the Wahhabi tradition of restrained mourning practices.

Observing the dignified and understated royal funeral proceedings

Rehman illustrates the humility and respect that were evident at the funeral of King Fahad, which was in accordance with Wahhabi customs. She remarks on the lack of a substantial formal interment or any public expressions of grief. The sovereign's body, wrapped in a white shroud and draped with a brown covering, was carried away from the mosque on a structure akin to a wooden cot, which included a slender pillow, and his relatives bore the responsibility of carrying him.

Rehman found the funeral traditions remarkable for their simplicity, as they did not involve the use of hearses or coffins. The ruler was laid to rest in a simple, unembellished tomb, highlighting the Islamic principle that all individuals are regarded as equals in the afterlife. Wahhabism's customs underscore humility and the triviality of an individual's social status in the face of death, marking a stark contrast to the typical funeral customs seen in Western societies.

Practical Tips

• Create a respectful environment at home by implementing a 'shoes-off' policy to honor the space and cleanliness of your living area. This small act can be a physical manifestation of respect for the place you and your loved ones share. Encourage family members and guests to leave their shoes at the door, and provide comfortable indoor slippers or socks if they wish to wear them.
• Develop a small, personal ritual to honor the memory of a loved one. This could be as simple as lighting a candle, playing a favorite song, or visiting a place that was special to the person you're mourning. The act of creating a ritual provides a focused moment to reflect and can serve as a private expression of grief.
• Use the concept of layering as a metaphor for personal development by layering your experiences in a visual journal. Similar to the layers of the sovereign's shroud, you can layer images, texts, and materials in a scrapbook or digital collage to represent the complexity and depth of your personal growth journey.
• Engage in a woodworking project where you craft a small, symbolic item like a box or a frame from wood. This hands-on activity can serve as a metaphor for carrying memories or legacies forward, much like the wooden cot carries a body.
• Engage with a local artist or craftsman to design a personalized, eco-friendly memorial item, such as a tree planting kit or a biodegradable urn, that reflects your desire for simplicity in funeral traditions. This not only supports local businesses but also provides a meaningful and sustainable way to be remembered by loved ones.
• Start a conversation with your family about the value of life experiences over material possessions. By sharing stories and memories rather than focusing on heirlooms or wealth, you encourage a legacy of shared values and wisdom that outlives physical objects.
• Create a personal journal where you reflect on your daily interactions and assess them through the lens of the principle of equality. This self-reflection can help you identify unconscious biases and behaviors that may not align with the principle of equality in the afterlife, allowing you to make more conscious efforts to treat everyone with equal respect and dignity.
• Start a conversation with family or friends about the importance of humility and equality in death, and how this perspective can influence the way you treat others in life. This can lead to a shared understanding and potentially a pact to support each other in living out these values. For instance, you could collectively decide to simplify birthday celebrations, focusing on the joy of togetherness rather than extravagant gifts.
• You can deepen your cultural empathy by attending different cultural or religious funeral services. By experiencing the customs firsthand, you'll gain a more nuanced understanding of the practices and emotions involved. For example, if you're from a Western background, seek out an Islamic center that may host open events or educational sessions about their funeral practices, and vice versa.

King Abdullah's ascension to the throne was indeed remarkable.

Rehman expresses her astonishment at the seamless and rapid transition of power following the death of King Fahad. She details the rapid ascent of the Crown Prince to a position of power, with the royal family and the citizens of the nation quickly pledging their allegiance following the demise of the king. The country quickly adapted to the change in command, which led to the restoration of the hospital's regular flow of vehicles as the safety protocols were phased out.

Rehman observes the seamless progression and absence of evident political maneuvers, a testament to the comprehensive groundwork and structured protocols that govern the transfer of power within the ruling dynasty of Saudi Arabia. She posits that the efficacy of the current governance systems in maintaining steadiness and consistency during such a pivotal time is exemplified by the seamless changeover.

Other Perspectives

• While King Abdullah's ascension to the throne may have appeared remarkable, it could be argued that it was expected and a natural consequence of the established line of succession, which may diminish the perceived remarkability.
• The efficiency of the governance systems during the transition could be perceived as a result of authoritarian control rather than a genuinely stable and well-structured protocol.
• The pledge of allegiance from citizens could be ceremonial and may not represent their actual political preferences or views on governance.
• Rapid adaptation to a new leader does not necessarily reflect the sentiments of all citizens, as public opinion can be complex and varied.
• The regular flow of vehicles might reflect a temporary lapse in safety protocol enforcement rather than a deliberate phasing out.
• The smooth transition might reflect the strength of the incumbent regime's hold on power, which could suppress potential challenges or opposition.
• The structured protocols may favor stability over reform, potentially stifling progressive changes that could benefit the broader society.
• While the transition appeared steady and consistent, it is important to consider the lack of transparency in the process, which may obscure any underlying tensions or disagreements within the royal family or among the populace.
• The lack of visible political maneuvering does not preclude the possibility of behind-the-scenes power struggles or discontent that may not be immediately apparent to outside observers.

Tracking the gradual social and cultural reforms under new leadership

Rehman observes the gradual shift in societal and cultural conventions that took place throughout the rule of the Saudi monarch and continued into the tenure of Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. She notes a relaxation in the restrictions on women's participation in community events, coupled with a growth in collective recreational pursuits and a heightened awareness of the need to address societal issues, including the unfair treatment of laborers.

Rehman interprets these changes as positive signs that Saudi Arabia is adapting to the changing global environment, acknowledging that the push for advancement comes from both within the country and from international voices, even though these advancements are occurring slowly and sporadically.

The relaxation of restrictions on women's ability to move freely and participate in community activities.

Rehman emphasizes the reduction in restrictions on women, underscored by the pivotal 2018 amendment permitting women to acquire their driver's licenses. Women are increasingly becoming part of sectors such as retail and customer support, areas previously off-limits to them, and are starting to take on official capacities, including diverse roles in membership.

In 2019, Saudi Arabia's governing body experienced a significant restructuring.

The ongoing changes highlight a growing recognition of the substantial impact that women may have within Saudi Arabian society. Though Rehman departed prior to the full implementation of these reforms, she had a clear foresight of the critical part that women from Saudi Arabia would assume in propelling the country's forward-looking changes.

Practical Tips

• Encourage female family members or friends to join local clubs or groups that align with their interests. This can be as simple as researching local groups together and offering to attend the first few meetings with them if they're hesitant. For instance, if your sister is interested in photography, find a local photography club and suggest going to a meeting together. This helps to break down the initial barriers to participation.
• Start a peer-mentoring group with women who are currently in or aspiring to enter retail and customer support roles. This creates a support network where you can share experiences, advice, and encouragement. For instance, use social media or community bulletin boards to connect with interested individuals and organize regular virtual or in-person meetups to discuss career development and industry-specific topics.
• Volunteer for leadership roles in community organizations, even if they're small or informal. This could be anything from heading a book club to leading a local community clean-up. These roles can help you practice leadership and decision-making skills in a low-stress environment, which can then translate to confidence in more official capacities.
• Enhance your decision-making process by adopting a 'restructuring' mindset for personal projects or decisions. For each decision or project, consider what elements could be streamlined or improved, much like a governing body might optimize its functions. Keep a journal of these decisions and the outcomes to track the effectiveness of your personal 'restructuring' efforts over time.
• You can support Saudi Arabian women's businesses by purchasing their products and services online. By intentionally seeking out and buying from businesses owned by Saudi Arabian women, you contribute to their economic empowerment and visibility in the marketplace. For example, if you need a gift, look for an online store that sells crafts made by Saudi Arabian women.

The continuity of age-old traditions alongside the inconsistent speed of contemporary advancements.

While observing these reforms, Rehman also remarks on the enduring nature of conventional practices and the inconsistent rate of progress within various segments of the community. She observes that despite some restrictions being eased, persistent social traditions continue to shape women's experiences, with some families upholding the patriarchal tradition of male guardianship, which constrains women's autonomy and choices.

In her conversations with colleagues and acquaintances, Rehman found that while certain individuals embraced the recent changes, others voiced concerns over potential disruptions. In her book, she suggests that the complex social fabric of Saudi Arabia is marked by the coexistence of forward-thinking and conventional perspectives, making the path to modernity a complex and multifaceted pursuit.

Context

• The rate of social change can vary significantly within different segments of a community due to factors like economic status, education levels, and exposure to global influences. This can lead to uneven progress where some groups advance more quickly than others.
• The guardianship system affects various aspects of women's lives, including their ability to make independent decisions regarding education, employment, and personal relationships. This can limit their participation in public life and economic activities.
• Economic factors can influence how people perceive change. Those who benefit from new opportunities may welcome reforms, while others who feel economically threatened or left behind may resist them.
• The country is undergoing significant economic changes, particularly with initiatives like Vision 2030, which aim to diversify the economy away from oil dependency and promote sectors like tourism and entertainment.