PDF Summary:Irresistible, by Adam Alter

Are you spending too much time on your devices? Psychologist and marketing expert Adam Alter suggests that excessive technology use is common and can lead to behavioral addiction. In Irresistible (2017), he explains how smartphones, social media, and video games are designed to keep users hooked—and how you can regain control of your technology use.

In our guide, we discuss the rise of technology addiction and how you can identify it. Next, we examine the techniques technology developers implement to keep users hooked. Finally, we explore Alter's suggestions for combating technology addiction and fostering a healthier relationship with digital devices. Our commentary explores other experts’ perspectives on addiction, insights into the potential harms and benefits of technology use, and tips for managing your technology use in a healthy way.

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Alter explains that gambling and gaming developers use three kinds of hooks:

The simplicity hook: Games that use this hook, like Temple Run, are so easy and straightforward from the get-go that anyone can play them. Users gravitate toward them when they have a few moments to spare but find they spend much longer than they meant to on them.

(Shortform note: Games that use the simplicity hook may be most tempting during moments that are empty or boring, like when you’re waiting in line or using the bathroom. You might also be tempted to use simple social media apps like TikTok, which only requires passive participation, during these moments. Some believe that when you use your phone to make every boring moment more entertaining, you miss out on boredom’s benefits, like enhanced creativity, chances to exercise your social skills, and in the case of toilet scrolling, better colorectal health.)

The deceptive simplicity hook: These games seem easy at first but gradually introduce complexity—for example, by incrementally increasing the number of threats to your character’s survival, as in Don’t Starve. Since by the time you complete the easy levels you’re emotionally attached to the game, you’re incentivized to keep going no matter how much time and attention it costs. (Shortform note: You may be more likely to be influenced by the deceptive simplicity hook if you’re naturally competitive. When you have a competitive streak, victory is more important to you than it is to noncompetitive people. Therefore, as increasingly difficult challenges are presented when you play a video game, you have more intrinsic motivation to keep playing.)

The hidden pay-to-play hook: These games are free to download and play, but they incorporate mechanisms that encourage or require players to spend money to access valuable content, features, or advantages within the game. For example, The Sims Mobile (TSM) uses this hook—players are incentivized to spend money on virtual architecture, decor, and outfits.

(Shortform note: One of the most common hidden pay-to-play strategies involves microtransactions—the kinds of small, in-game purchases that TSM offers. Studies suggest that making microtransactions incentivizes you to keep playing so that you’ll get a return on your investment. Further gameplay means you’ll likely be exposed to more opportunities to make microtransactions; this explains how these seemingly minor expenses accumulate quickly, leading to significant spending over time—and to extraordinary profits for game developers. Overspending on microtransactions seems to be more common in vulnerable populations, including children who have access to money and limited parental supervision.)

Variable Rewards

Studies suggest that part of gambling’s appeal is not knowing whether you’ll win or lose. Uncertainty is thrilling—you produce much more dopamine when you’re surprised that you’ve won than when you expected to win. Alter argues that social media companies use this principle to drive engagement: You’re not sure what kinds of responses you’ll get from others when you make a social media post, so you’re driven to find out. Since everyone is driven to post and wait for responses, social media becomes an interactive ecosystem that’s difficult to pull away from.

(Shortform note: In Hooked, Nir Eyal and Ryan Hoover explain that there are three types of rewards that drive you to keep engaging with technology: Rewards of the tribe are incidences of social validation, like the kind Alter says you’re looking for when you post on social media. Rewards of the hunt are those that support your survival in some way—for example, you likely hunted for information about Covid-19 on the internet during the pandemic. Rewards of the self are internal gratifications, like the feeling of accomplishment you get when you beat a challenging video game. Eyal clarifies that variable rewards drive engagement because unpredictability is intriguing—you crave to discover what rewards your actions will reap.)

Deceptive Superiority to Real Life

Alter explains that both gambling experiences and immersive technologies present a deceptively superior alternative to reality. Gamblers can easily fall victim to motivated perception, a psychological phenomenon where intense desire primes your brain to interpret the world in a way that aligns with your desires. As a result, gamblers irrationally believe they’re always about to win, even though they’re statistically likely to lose. Similarly, Alter says you might have an irrational belief that your social media use is a net positive when it’s not.

Another way that immersive technology can seem preferable to real life is that it makes the impossible possible. This is especially true for the expanding field of virtual reality (VR), where you can play games that transport you to fantastic worlds or have lifelike experiences with faraway friends, family, and coworkers. Alter says that experts are concerned about the effect VR might have on society over time—we might lose touch with the here and now in favor of virtual worlds or have opportunities to live out virtual experiences that are harmful, like exploitative sex or violence.

How Smartphones and VR Distort Your Perception of Reality

Motivated perception may explain why smartphone users commonly perceive “phantom calls and notifications,” the sensation that their phone is buzzing when it’s not. When you’re eagerly anticipating a message or interaction (which we’re all primed to do almost all the time, since notifications arrive unpredictably and trigger dopamine release), your brain can falsely interpret external stimuli to fulfill that expectation. Just as gamblers feel that they’re always about to win, you feel like you’re always about to be notified of something engaging and rewarding.

Phantom phone buzzes make you check your phone. Even when you find that you didn’t receive any notifications, you might start unconsciously searching for a reward (like social media updates, breaking news, or a quick mini-game) since the phantom buzz made you expect one. If you find something rewarding and become engrossed in it, this could lead to time loss. Most people tend to underestimate the amount of time they spend engrossed in technology (another example of how smartphones skew your perception of reality), so you may not be aware of how much time loss this chain reaction of events has led to.

Some studies suggest that when online gamblers are provided with automated personalized feedback (like the number of hours they spent gambling), their self-awareness and self-control increase, and their problematic gambling behaviors are reduced. However, studies suggest that in other contexts, equivalent apps that track your screen time don’t reduce problematic technology behaviors. This may be because most modern technology behaviors (like scrolling through social media) seem relatively low-risk with high potential for reward, at least in the short term, compared to gambling. However, as we discussed earlier, this perception is unrealistic, as problematic technology use is associated with a myriad of serious harms.

Some studies suggest that the list of serious harms associated with technology use will expand as VR becomes more advanced. VR is already convincing and immersive—for example, your fear of heights can translate to VR environments. As developers discover new ways of providing sensory feedback, VR could become more immersive. Then, it may exacerbate things like pornography addiction and facilitate virtual violence that has real-life consequences for victims. Additionally, some experts warn that, as Alter suggests, life may lose its luster if limitless virtual reality becomes commonplace. On the other hand, some researchers believe VR could alter your perception of reality in positive ways, like by enhancing your empathy.

Technology Creates an Anticipation-Gratification Cycle

Alter explains that some technology is addictive because it induces a sense of anticipation—a thrilling sensation that captures your interest and stimulates dopamine release—that you feel compelled to gratify. The only way to gratify this anticipation is by engaging further in the technology—you have to log on or tune in to see what happens next. Often, once you do, the cycle starts over; as one source of anticipation is resolved, another piques your curiosity. This strategy is especially popular in forms of technology with narrative structure—Alter says it explains the popularity of the true crime genre, for instance—but developers use it in other ways too. For example, dating apps rely on the anticipation-gratification cycle to drive interactions between users.

(Shortform note: Experts believe that anticipation is psychologically rewarding because when you have something to look forward to (like a new episode of a true crime show or a future conversation with a dating app match), you feel more optimistic and less stressed about the future. This explains why some people, driven by the prospect of connection, suffer from dating app addictions. However, if the gratification stage of this cycle is disappointing (say the finale of your true crime show is lackluster or your match turns out to be rude), it might discourage you from turning to that kind of technology again. This explains why highly entertaining media is evergreen, while shows that end poorly, like Game of Thrones, get left in the past.)

Technology Facilitates Pseudo-Connection

Humans are inherently social—we care about what other people think of us because, evolutionarily speaking, their support improves our chances of survival. Alter suggests that much modern technology, from social media to video games and beyond, appeals to this aspect of the human psyche. You’re incentivized to project a likable image, so you use a filter on your selfies. You also want to know that others think in the same way that you do, so you seek validation from others’ reactions to your online presence. However, you want to feel unique, so you seek out disagreement as well. But if that disagreement is insulting—for example, in video game trash talk—you might feel wounded, which drives you to seek more reassurance online.

Online interactions can’t satisfy your inherent social needs. They’re pseudo-connections; they lack the characteristics that make real-life interactions meaningful and fulfilling. For example, you can’t make eye contact or pick up on behavioral cues like body language over text, so some ideas could get lost in translation. Furthermore, children who communicate with others primarily online may miss out on learning how to decipher those cues and sustain in-person conversations in the first place. Alter offers an example: Teenage boys whose primary social outlet is video games struggle to regulate their emotions and relate to others, which prevents them from forming intimate relationships and can contribute to pornography addiction.

Pseudo-Connections and Pornography Addiction

Alter says we seek out pseudo-connections via technology because humans are evolutionarily wired to crave social support. One reason for this is that social support facilitates cooperation (we’re more likely to cooperate with those we identify with), which helped our ancestors access resources and protect themselves effectively. At the same time, as Alter mentions, we want to feel sufficiently unique. Experts use optimal distinctiveness theory to explain this balance: We strive to maintain a sense of individuality while also feeling connected to a larger group. This need drives, for example, niche online fandom activity—members feel both unique in their tastes and connected to other unique individuals.

Although Alter suggests that online interactions are pseudo-connections that can’t fulfill your needs, other evidence demonstrates the value of technologically facilitated connection (TFC). Consider that in some situations, TFC is the only or best option for connection. For example, technology helps people with communicative disabilities engage in meaningful conversations with others. It also helped people maintain social bonds through the Covid-19 pandemic, when in-person connection was dangerous. Similarly, online gaming friends and long-distance couples know well that, although they may long for the chance to interact with each other in person, digital relationships can be every bit as meaningful as in-person relationships.

Besides being meaningful relationships in their own right, many online friendships between gamers later become real-life friendships, and they can reduce loneliness and improve kids’ social skills. And while Alter fears that these boys will develop porn addictions, such fears may be unsupported: Some experts suggest porn addiction rates are grossly exaggerated by those who are morally opposed to viewing pornography. Additionally, studies suggest that many people who play classically addictive games have healthy social lives, which may protect against excessive porn use.

Technology Encourages Relentless Personal Growth

Alter argues that some forms of technology are designed to encourage the doggedly relentless pursuit of personal growth. This comes in two forms: skill mastery and all-around perfectionism.

Skill Mastery

Alter says that some technology is designed to give users the feeling of accomplishment that comes when you’ve overcome a challenge or sharpened your skills. This is especially common in video games—for example, in Minecraft, you might feel proud of the elaborate structures you’ve built. One way that game developers promote this feeling is by gradually increasing the complexity of the task so that you learn as you play and enjoy the process of becoming progressively better at the game. This can induce what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (Flow) describes as flow—a period of blissfully intense engrossment that makes you lose all sense of time.

(Shortform note: Accomplishing video game objectives may make you feel good, but is it truly good for you? You might assume so, since the process induces flow, which is typically associated with happiness and progress toward constructive goals. However, Csikszentmihalyi explains that you can also experience negative flow during destructive activities, like war and crime, since those can be equally challenging and engrossing. Studies suggest that many problematic gamers cite the feeling of achievement they gain by playing as a motivation for their behavior—but since their gameplay hurts them more than it helps them, they may be responding only to the illusion of accomplishment. Thus, they may experience negative flow.)

Game developers proactively prolong this state of flow by making it easy for players to stay in the game. A game might automatically restart when you lose or, more subtly, might show you how close you were to winning—feeling like you almost won is a powerful motivator to keep playing, since it suggests that victory is within reach. Alter says that other technology designers use this strategy, too, by overriding or distracting you from your natural cues to stop engaging. For example, on X (formerly known as Twitter), you can easily swipe to see a new batch of tweets. You might find yourself obsessively refreshing your feed as a major news event unfolds, hoping to achieve mastery (in the form of comprehensive knowledge) of the topic du jour.

(Shortform note: By proactively prolonging your experience of flow, video game and social media designers incentivize you to make their platforms more profitable. For example, the developers of Candy Crush offer you chances to pay (or watch ads, which also generates revenue) to continue levels you’ve failed, which can be enticing if you felt you were “in the zone” and want to maintain your sense of progress. Using this model, the makers of Candy Crush have brought in over $20 billion. Social media apps are designed to be “frictionless”— that is, easy to use endlessly—and this generates profits by increasing the chance that you’ll view and interact with paid advertisements, for which social media companies are handsomely rewarded.)

All-Around Perfectionism

Some technology, like fitness tracking apps, helps you identify, quantify, and measure your progress toward goals in various areas of your life. Trying to reach goals isn’t inherently harmful, but Alter argues that the culture around goal-setting is toxic for three reasons:

It demands perpetual personal growth. Reaching a goal won’t satisfy you because until you reach a state of all-around perfection, there’s always more work to be done. When you reach your goal, you’ll just set another—and this means that you’ll never be satisfied with what you’ve achieved. (Shortform note: Experts say that it’s easy to fall into the perpetual personal growth trap because society is constantly demanding more from you—in part, this is fueled by the self-help industry’s endless discovery and promotion of new, better ways to be you. According to these experts, true happiness comes from accepting yourself, flaws and all, as you are in this moment, rather than always aiming to become someone better in the future.)

It’s numeric. Assigning numeric values to your goals can help you measure your progress, but these numbers are compelling, and it’s easy to hyperfixate on them to an unhealthy degree (for example, by pushing through an injury to beat a swim record). (Shortform note: The phenomenon known as Goodhart’s law helps explain why numeric objectives aren’t always the best success metric. Goodhart’s law states that once you prioritize achieving a specific numeric target, you may inadvertently distort the original purpose of the goal and compromise the quality of your efforts. This can lead to harmful behaviors (like risking further injury to meet a swim goal.)

It’s outcome-oriented. You’re more concerned with the achievement than the process of getting there, so you might not take time to enjoy the process. Furthermore, the joy you derive from the outcome itself is fleeting: Outcomes are short-lived compared to processes because they represent a single point in time. Once achieved, the positive feelings they evoke fade rapidly. (Shortform note: In One Small Step Can Change Your Life, psychologist Robert Maurer explains why focusing on the process can make you happier than focusing on outcomes: When you focus on the process, you notice and appreciate the subtle details of your life and achievements, and your appreciation is prolonged rather than momentary.)

Alter says technology facilitates and amplifies the toxicity associated with perfectionistic goal-setting in three ways:

First, some technology imposes arbitrary goals, as when a language learning app recommends that you complete three lessons a day. (Shortform note: Arbitrary goals can make your mental load (the cognitive work you do to manage your life) heavier than necessary. To avoid maxing out your mental load, choose goals that are intentional over preset targets dictated by a developer who wants you to use their app. If you’d like to learn a new language, set your own pace based on your personal preferences, schedule, and learning style. You may, for example, benefit more from an in-person class than three AI-powered lessons per day.)

Second, some technology encourages obsessive progress-checking—for example, if a weight loss app prompts you to track your weight, you might feel compelled to weigh yourself more often than is healthy. Wearable technology can exacerbate this by providing constant feedback on your progress. (Shortform note: Obsessive checking behaviors are rooted in self-doubt and concerns about your well-being. They’re typically associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder as well as body dysmorphia and eating disorders, but they can also signal general anxiety. For example, if you’re worried about your finances, you might feel compelled to check your bank account multiple times a day, making sure you haven’t overdrafted.)

Finally, some technology creates social pressure to perform by giving you plenty of opportunities to compare yourself to your peers (for example, you might notice your selfie got fewer likes than a friend’s). (Shortform note: Professional performers, including athletes, often experience crushing pressure to perform because they’re being watched by a large audience that counts on them for entertainment and emotional (and even financial) satisfaction. When you use social media, you create a similar condition for yourself by turning yourself or your life into content to be consumed, which creates the sense that you’re always being surveilled and harshly judged.)

How to Counter Technology Addiction

Since technology can be so addictive, you might be tempted to avoid it, but for most people this is an impractical solution—countering technology addiction is a matter of learning how to live with it in a healthier way. Alter proposes three such methods; let’s explore each.

Harness Addictive Mechanisms for Good

Recall that Alter says we’re intrinsically vulnerable to addiction. He argues that with this in mind, tech developers can aim to create experiences that make healthy behaviors more habit-forming. This approach, called gamification, involves incorporating aspects of games into mundane activities. For example, you might let your kids earn points and rewards for doing chores. Studies suggest that gamification is effective because humans are prone to laziness—evolutionarily speaking, the less energy we expend to achieve our goals, the better—so an experience has to also be pleasurable to motivate us to engage with it. However, gamification has limitations; for example, if you gamified most aspects of life, you’d have a lower tolerance for boring necessities.

(Shortform note: In Actionable Gamification, Yu-Kai Chou describes several gamification strategies that can motivate users to take certain actions. One involves tying an action, like recycling, to a meaningful purpose, like saving the rainforest. Another leverages skill mastery to motivate participants—for example, Duolingo’s leaderboard uses this strategy. Chou explains that different aspects of games will appeal to different users, so using several of these strategies in combination ensures that your gamified experience will capture as many users as possible.)

Address Individuals’ Addictions

Alter describes a few strategies individuals can use to mitigate or overcome their addictions to technology:

Rehabilitation: Rehab centers are beginning to offer services that specifically target technology addiction by removing addicts from triggering environments and providing them with tailored training and support. Alter says these programs are promising—early results indicate that many enrollees learn to manage their relationships with technology in a healthier way. (Shortform note: Enrolling in a specialized rehab facility can be expensive, so many technology addicts turn to less-expensive alternatives. These include digital detox programs where you have no access to technology (but these can also be expensive, so you might try organizing your own digital detox). Another option is joining a free 12-step program modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous.)

Harm reduction: According to Alter, harm reduction involves taking steps to minimize the negative effects of your technology use. For example, you might sign out of your work email on your phone so that you’re not tempted to check it when you’re at home or turn off social media notifications so that social media doesn’t distract you at work. (Shortform note: Another aspect of harm reduction is honoring addicted people’s humanity. Judging yourself or others for their technology use may only exacerbate their shame and therefore reinforce their problematic behavior. Experts recommend showing addicted people compassion instead.)

Habit replacement: Alter explains that it’s difficult to suppress your technology-centered thoughts and tendencies unless you contrive a new focus altogether. The best replacement is one that meets the same needs your addiction does (like recreation) but in a healthier way. For example, you might trade late-night scrolling for reading.

(Shortform note: James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, offers some tips for replacing a bad habit with a healthier one. First, have a plan—what are you going to do instead of engaging in the bad habit? Then, take steps to ensure your success—ask a buddy for support or befriend someone who does what you aspire to do, remove temptations from your environment, and decide on how you’ll recover when you mess up and revert to your bad habit. Finally, keep a positive attitude and focus on the benefits you’ll enjoy once your bad habit is broken.)

Behavioral design: Behavioral design is the act of purposefully creating an environment that influences people’s behavior in desired ways. Alter emphasizes several such approaches: One option is to separate yourself from technology (for example, by leaving your phone at home when you go for a walk). Another is to use rewards and punishments to moderate your behavior (for example, by setting limits on your technology use and paying yourself to achieve them.)

(Shortform note: Alter’s concerned here with your capacity as an individual to design your own behavior. Other experts on behavioral design note that it also operates well on a larger scale. For example, in Nudge, Richard H. Thaler and Cass R. Sunstein explore how policymakers can create environments that “nudge” people to make healthier decisions without infringing on their autonomy. Similarly, authorities and technology developers can build safeguards that encourage responsible design and use of technology. For example, some social media platforms might use “civility warnings” to discourage hostile online behavior, and X (formerly Twitter) prompts users to read news articles before sharing them.)

Protect the Next Generation From Addiction

Children and young people are especially vulnerable to addiction because they haven’t yet developed the adult capacity for self-control. Addiction can have worse consequences for children and adolescents, too, because it disrupts normal psychological development—Alter expresses concern that children who overuse technology may never learn appropriate social skills like empathy, for example. It’s also easier for youth to learn healthy technology behaviors from a young age than it is for them to overcome addiction as adults.

(Shortform note: Some experts suggest that in many ways, growing up in a highly digital world has helped Generation Alpha—the generation born between 2010 and the mid-2020s—more than it’s hurt them. Research demonstrates that, despite Alter’s concerns, Gen Alpha might be more empathetic than previous generations because they’ve been raised in a more diverse, globalized environment; other research shows that socializing online may promote social skills-learning in kids. However, other experts agree that kids are prone to technology addiction, and they may be especially vulnerable to the mental health risks associated with excessive social media use, including heightened rates of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and suicidality.)

For these reasons, Alter recommends that parents inoculate the next generation against technology addiction by setting healthy boundaries around technology use. For example, parents can limit their children’s screen time and ensure that the content they see is age-appropriate and educationally valuable. (Shortform note: Some best practices for parenting kids in the digital age include opting for apps designed to protect kids’ privacy and safety, having open conversations about how to use (or not use) technology, and establishing some times and places where your family won’t use technology, like during dinner.)

Alter also suggests that society must better meet children’s psychological needs, including their need for connection. Such societal changes would fortify children’s mental health, making them less vulnerable to addiction in the first place. If kids and teenagers don’t have satisfying real lives, they’ll turn to digital alternatives that seem more appealing.

(Shortform note: Alter suggests that society must better meet children’s psychological needs, such as connection, but some legislative moves that are ostensibly meant to protect children from digital harms may prevent them from finding meaningful connections. For example, politicians might censor LGBTQ content under the guise of protecting children from exposure to inappropriate topics. But this may be devastating to LGBTQ kids who turn to the internet for support and education when those aren’t accessible in their real lives, especially if they live in states that are becoming increasingly hostile to LGBTQ youth.)