Are you sabotaging your own success through seemingly harmless daily behaviors? The Japanese practice of hansei—a form of reflective self-examination—offers a powerful solution by helping you identify and overcome the hidden patterns that undermine your progress.
Drawing from Anthony Raymond’s insights in Ikigai & Kaizen, this guide explores how hansei can break the cycle of rationalized self-sabotage. You’ll discover a four-step hansei process that teaches you to honestly examine your role in problems, log the behaviors contributing to setbacks, and create actionable plans for improvement—even when things are going well. This reflective practice transforms your awareness of destructive patterns and empowers you to replace them with constructive habits.
Table of Contents
Common Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
In his book Ikigai & Kaizen, Anthony Raymond suggests that you might unknowingly engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that undermine your efforts. Why is it hard to know when you’re sabotaging yourself? According to Raymond, it could be because you’re making excuses for your self-sabotaging behaviors or downplaying their consequences.
He explains that the issues that prevent you from making progress—like mistakes or problems—usually stem from repeating seemingly innocent behaviors. These behaviors usually feel innocent because, in isolation, they’re easy to rationalize and dismiss. For example, say you sleep in one morning instead of working on an upholstery project. You might rationalize that a single late morning won’t derail your progress, and anyway, sleeping a little more might make you more productive or creative.
(Shortform note: According to psychologists, cognitive dissonance drives you to rationalize and dismiss self-sabotaging behaviors. Cognitive dissonance is the psychological discomfort you feel when your actions conflict with your goals or values. After you engage in a self-sabotaging behavior, you unconsciously resolve the resulting discomfort by reinterpreting your behavior—for example, by rationalizing that the behavior was beneficial or necessary. This rationalization alleviates your discomfort, allowing you to pretend that your actions are consistent with your goals.)
However, Raymond argues that rationalizing such behaviors thwarts progress in two ways: First, it blinds you to the negative consequences of your self-sabotaging behaviors. Second, it leads you to blame other factors for the problems your self-sabotage causes.
1) You’re Blind to the Negative Consequences of Your Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
Raymond argues that rationalizing self-sabotaging behaviors makes you blind to their negative consequences—and this, in turn, makes you more likely to repeat and keep rationalizing those behaviors. Over time, the negative consequences of these behaviors add up, resulting in mistakes or problems that derail your progress.
Raymond uses the Chinese concept of lingchi (“death by a thousand cuts”) to illustrate this: One small cut causes only a slight hurt, which is why it’s easy to ignore, but a thousand cuts will kill you. For example, sleeping in one morning isn’t a big deal. But after many lazy mornings, you’re running behind on an order that’s due. In your rush to complete it, you make many mistakes, creating a subpar piece of furniture.
(Shortform note: Confirmation bias—the tendency to search for, interpret, and recall information in ways that confirm your beliefs—might explain why rationalizing self-sabotaging behaviors blinds you to their consequences. Once you’ve rationalized a behavior, confirmation bias makes you unconsciously filter information to support that rationalization, paying more attention to evidence that the behavior was justified while disregarding or minimizing any negative consequences. This selective attention prevents you from recognizing the cumulative damage of your self-sabotage, leaving you surprised when problems finally become undeniable.)
2) You Blame Other Factors for the Problems Your Self-Sabotaging Behaviors Cause
According to Raymond, rationalizing your small, self-sabotaging behaviors prevents you from recognizing how, over time, you’re contributing to the issues thwarting your progress. And this lack of recognition leads you to attribute blame for mistakes and problems to one-time events or external factors. For example, you might believe the negative feedback you receive for the furniture you upholstered is due to a bad day at work or a difficult customer. As a result, you continue to engage in the same behaviors, repeating mistakes and creating even more problems—for example, continually creating flawed pieces might lead to multiple unsatisfied customers and demands for refunds.
(Shortform note: According to research, you might shift blame outward rather than inward due to the way self-serving bias works in tandem with cognitive dissonance to protect your desire for consistency. Self-serving bias is the tendency to interpret events in ways that favor yourself, attributing positive outcomes to your actions while attributing negative outcomes to external circumstances. When problems arise from your self-sabotaging behaviors, self-serving bias prevents the psychological discomfort that would arise from acknowledging that your behaviors not only conflict with your goals, but also contribute to your problems.)
How to Practice Hansei to Stop Self-Sabotaging
According to Raymond, practicing hansei helps overcome the tendency to rationalize and ignore self-sabotaging behaviors. Hansei is a concept that roughly translates to “reflect on the past.” It involves evaluating your role in mistakes and problems, identifying self-sabotaging behaviors, and devising plans to replace those behaviors with more constructive ones. This process increases both your awareness of when you’re engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors and your sense of responsibility for changing these behaviors.
(Shortform note: Social psychologists suggest you’re more likely to benefit from reflective exercises if you focus on specific, changeable behaviors (what you do) rather than on your personality (who you are). Focusing on your personality makes you feel powerless because it attributes setbacks to inherent, unchangeable traits—such as believing you messed up your project because you’re lazy or not good enough. On the other hand, focusing on modifiable behaviors directs you to specific actions you can take to improve both yourself and your circumstances. For example, acknowledging that you’re more inclined to make errors when you sleep in after a late night indicates a way to make fewer mistakes: going to bed early.)
Raymond suggests regularly devoting at least 10 minutes of uninterrupted time for hansei practice—the more often you practice, the easier it will be to maintain awareness of self-sabotaging behaviors and to follow through on strategies to overcome them. (Shortform note: James Clear (Atomic Habits) suggests you’ll find it easier to practice regularly if you schedule your practice between activities you already enjoy. By doing so, you’ll begin to associate your practice with pleasurable activities, which will make you want to practice regularly.)
To practice, follow this four-step process: 1) Reflect on a recent problem. 2) Log behaviors that may have contributed to the problem. 3) Make a plan for overcoming problematic behaviors. 4) Practice even when you don’t have problems. Let’s explore each step in detail.
Step 1) Reflect on a Recent Problem
Pick a recent mistake or problem, reflecting on how you contributed to it and how you might’ve handled it differently. Raymond suggests that reverse-engineering issues in this way opens your eyes to the consequences of your self-sabotaging behaviors, making it more difficult to rationalize and ignore those behaviors. One way to do this is with the “five whys” technique, in which you ask yourself why you made the mistake, followed by asking why your answer occurred, and repeating the process three more times.
| Ask Yourself “What” Instead of “Why” Tasha Eurich, author of Insight, suggests that instead of asking “why” per Raymond’s advice, it’s more effective to ask future-oriented “what” questions. She explains that asking “why” often elicits responses that emphasize what you’ve done wrong, thereby disempowering you from making the changes you want. For example, asking yourself why you received bad reviews might evoke responses like “I didn’t work hard enough,” “I wasn’t creative enough,” or “I didn’t know what I was doing.” Instead of empowering you to improve your behaviors, such responses lead you to emotionally engage with your mistakes and wallow in self-pity. On the other hand, Eurich argues that asking “what” questions allows you to maintain emotional distance and gain awareness of your role in problems without feeling bad about yourself. It does this by encouraging you to focus on what you can do better next time rather than why you failed last time. For example, asking yourself what you can do to receive better reviews might evoke a response like “Quality-check products before shipping them.” This response indicates how you contributed to the problem (you didn’t check it), while also leading you to a solution for correcting your behavior and avoiding the problem in the future. |
Raymond warns you to be careful not to spiral into self-criticism—the goal is to learn from your behaviors, not beat yourself up for them. For example, you might reflect on the negative reviews you’ve received, noting that allocating more time to the projects would have resulted in fewer mistakes and happier customers.
(Shortform note: To overcome self-critical thoughts, focus on self-compassion during this step. For example, acknowledge that you’ve been doing the best that you can, or consciously forgive yourself for any mistakes that you’ve made. By shifting your focus from criticism to kindness, you’ll be better able to understand your self-sabotaging behaviors without falling prey to self-defeating thoughts.)
Step 2) Log Behaviors That May Have Contributed to the Problem
Log the behaviors that may have contributed to this mistake or problem, including details about when, where, or who you’re with when you engage in them. Raymond says that this context might reveal why you engage in those behaviors. For example, you might realize that you always feel more tempted to sleep in and avoid working on your project after a long night of binge-watching TV.
(Shortform note: James Allen (As A Man Thinketh) clarifies how knowing why you engage in self-sabotaging behaviors helps you overcome those behaviors. He argues that without this understanding, you’re more likely to believe that you have no control over the way you act, and you won’t feel motivated to improve your behaviors.
| Advice on Defining Your Self-Sabotaging Behaviors Psychologists expand on this step with practical advice for identifying your self-sabotaging behaviors. They suggest that you should reflect on times when you: Blame others for your feelings or circumstances: When you don’t explore how you’ve contributed to your issues, you don’t take responsibility for or learn from your experiences. Abandon your goals: Instead of making an effort to fulfill your needs, you let setbacks and difficulties convince you to walk away from what you want. Procrastinate: You lack the motivation to do what you need to do, are easily distracted, and suffer from self-doubt or feelings of overwhelm. Antagonize others: You undermine your relationships by provoking arguments, acting inconsiderately, or using passive-aggressive techniques. Reflecting on these areas might help you uncover more details about why you engage in your self-sabotaging behaviors. For example, perhaps you often blame your friend’s invitation to “just watch one more episode” for your late-night binge-watching habit, when the real issue is that you watch TV to distract yourself from thinking about other stressors in your life. |
Step 3) Make a Plan for Overcoming Problematic Behaviors
Make a plan for avoiding these behaviors in the future. Raymond argues that once you know that a specific behavior creates a problem, you immediately have a solution for that problem that you can control: Stop engaging in the behavior. This requires you to use the insights you gathered in Step 2 to devise a plan for replacing the behavior with a more positive one. For example, you might restrict yourself to watching only a single episode, get to bed earlier, and commit to getting out of bed as soon as your alarm goes off.
(Shortform note: Research suggests that setting and reviewing intentions might help you follow through with your plan. This is because intentions force you to focus on who you want to be, and they increase your self-discipline when you’re faced with conflicting choices. For example, setting an intention every evening to wake up early the next day and hone your upholstery skills focuses your mind on being a skilled and productive artisan. As a result, you know the right way to act when faced with a decision between sleeping in and working constructively.)
Step 4) Practice Even When You Don’t Have Problems
Raymond adds that even when everything’s going well, there’s always room for improvement. Therefore, he recommends engaging in hansei practice even if you don’t have any unwanted issues to reflect on. For example, if you’re happy with a completed project, you might reflect on things that could’ve been better—like how you might’ve completed it more quickly, cheaply, or with less stress.
(Shortform note: Psychologists warn that constantly pushing yourself to improve, as Raymond encourages, can lead to burnout—a kind of emotional exhaustion characterized by feelings of overwhelm, fatigue, and frustration. This risk suggests that it might occasionally pay to simply appreciate times when everything’s going well instead of trying to optimize them. Taking it easy when times are good might better enable you to succeed in the long run, since it’ll help you feel healthier, happier, and more motivated to succeed.)
Learn More About Hansei
If you want to learn more about hansei, check out our full guide to Ikigai & Kaizen.
