Stephanie Foo's CPTSD: A Journey to Healing
Have you ever wondered how childhood trauma can shape your adult life? What if a single diagnosis could explain years of struggle and pain?
In her memoir What My Bones Know, Stephanie Foo explores her journey with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). Stephanie Foo's CPTSD diagnosis becomes a turning point, leading her to confront her past and seek healing through various therapeutic approaches.
Join us as we delve into Foo's powerful story of resilience, self-discovery, and breaking the cycle of generational trauma.
Discovering Complex Ptsd
Stephanie Foo's CPTSD journey began with a pivotal moment in therapy. After years of grappling with anxiety and depression since age 12, her therapist Samantha identified her condition as Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). This diagnosis was a turning point for Foo, providing a medical explanation for her struggles while also burdening her with a sense of inherent undesirability.
The realization that C-PTSD stems from environmental influences rather than genetic inheritance gave Foo a new perspective on her personal history. It led to feelings of bitterness towards her therapist for not disclosing this earlier and towards her parents, whom she blamed for her ongoing anguish.
The Physical and Mental Impact of C-Ptsd
C-PTSD affects both mental and physical well-being. Foo discovered that stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, while beneficial in moderation, can alter brain structures and hasten physical wear when present in excessive amounts. She learned that her childhood experiences could have shortened her lifespan by impacting her telomeres, the protective features found at the ends of chromosomes.
The expression of C-PTSD differs among genders, as revealed by Joe Andreano's research. Changes in brain function throughout menstrual cycles can lead to variations in vulnerability to trauma across different genders. Foo recognized that trauma has a profound impact on hormonal balance, leading to a cascade of physical and psychological health complications.
Neurological Changes and Brain Function
Trauma, especially related to C-PTSD, can result in heightened sensitivities that severely hinder a person, often triggering episodes of intense anxiety and involuntary recollections of past trauma. Children who have experienced abuse often perceive ambiguous facial expressions as anger, suggesting they're more alert to potential dangers.
Research indicates that the brains of individuals who have endured trauma during their early years undergo structural changes. The amygdala, which triggers responses to fear, is enlarged; areas involved in self-awareness and reflective thinking are less developed; and the parts of the brain responsible for interpreting physical sensations have diminished in volume.
People with C-PTSD frequently endure harmful cycles of ongoing rumination and doubt due to their brain's default mode network being overly active when they're not focusing on a specific task. Engaging in mindfulness exercises may help direct focus outward, which could in turn calm the activity within the brain's resting state network.
Exploring Treatment Options
Foo's journey to recovery involved exploring various therapeutic approaches and interventions. Her frustration with traditional therapy led her to seek practical solutions. She faced obstacles such as skepticism about her C-PTSD diagnosis, ineffective therapy meetings, and interactions with therapists who lacked compassion or expertise.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (Emdr)
EMDR therapy played a significant role in Foo's recovery journey. In her initial counseling appointment, she felt a deep emotional bond with her younger self. However, the euphoria didn't last, with subsequent sessions falling short of expectations. This experience highlights the trial-and-error nature of finding the right therapeutic match.
Mindfulness and Meditation
Foo initially struggled with mindfulness and meditation, noting their potential to exacerbate traumatic responses. However, she found profound comfort and healing during restorative yoga sessions. Grounding techniques to manage flashbacks became a valuable tool, with the rigorous practice of yoga requiring a concentration that redirected her awareness to bodily experiences.
Although she initially struggled with meditation, it eventually became a conduit for Foo to attain pure moments of existence and freedom from her emotions. She realized that the essence of self-care lies in embracing one's true self rather than pursuing an ideal of perfection.
Generational Trauma and Family History
Foo delved into her family's history, exploring their experiences of relocation, suffering, and adversity. She discovered a persistent tradition of not speaking about distressing events in her lineage. In a setting where beliefs in fortune and the supernatural hold sway, there exists a tendency to steer clear of discussions about difficult experiences.
Her family's history encompasses her grandfather's harrowing escape from captivity in a tumultuous period, which resulted not only in the loss of his dental health but also in a profound change in his demeanor. Foo situates her personal challenges within a broader generational framework, considering major historical events like the turmoil of China's Cultural Revolution and the proxy wars initiated by America.
Breaking the Cycle of Trauma
Foo took decisive steps to escape the cycle of inherited pain. She recounts her choice to limit engagement with toxic relatives and the pivotal decision to sever ties with professionals who disregarded her personal experiences. She grappled with her sense of obligation and pondered maintaining a relationship with her father, ultimately choosing to sever all ties to safeguard her psychological well-being.
Foo's narrative progresses as she discovers the strength to depend on and have faith in a newfound family, moving past the deep-seated survival strategies that stemmed from the trauma within her own family. She undergoes a metamorphosis through the affection and traditions of a family that offers a kind of nurturing support, which is in stark contrast to what her own relatives provided.
By exploring the intricate cultural influences and the legacy of past conflicts that formed her ancestry, Foo lays a foundation for a future free from the wounds of bygone times. Her narrative exemplifies unwavering resilience, a path to deep understanding, and a commitment to breaking the cycle of persistent trauma.