How to Be a Supportive Parent: Guiding Teens

Are you struggling to connect with your teenager? Do you wonder how to be a supportive parent while maintaining discipline?

In her book Hold On, But Don't Hold Still, Kristina Kuzmič shares her insights on parenting teens through adolescence. She offers practical advice on how to be a supportive parent while balancing structure and fun in your household.

Read on to discover Kristina's techniques for fostering open communication, navigating co-parenting challenges, and creating a nurturing environment for your teens.

Balancing Structure and Fun

As a parent, you might wonder how to be a supportive parent while striking the right balance between discipline and enjoyment when raising your teens. Kristina Kuzmič's approach to parenting combines structure with fun, fostering well-adjusted children. She enforces consequences and responsibilities while also incorporating silliness, spontaneity, and celebrations into family life.

Kristina believes in enlivening ordinary moments by organizing unique picnics with creatively cut sandwiches and observing semi-annual birthdays. In her household, happiness is plentiful, often leading to impromptu dance competitions and lighthearted teasing. However, she consistently instills in her children the significance of cultivating resilience and determination through dedication to tasks they might not always enjoy.

This balanced approach helps create an environment where children do more than merely tolerate the routine aspects of life—they actively welcome them with zest. By intertwining discipline with pleasure, Kristina fosters a nurturing atmosphere that encourages growth and happiness.

Tailoring Your Approach

One size doesn't fit all when it comes to parenting teens. Kristina customizes her approach to discipline, adapting it to meet the distinct needs and particular situations of each child. She understands that consequences stem from affection, and that enforcing regulations without fostering familial bonds may lead to resentment and rebellious actions.

For example, Kristina showcases her prioritization of her children by creating unique birthday celebrations, like the postal service-themed party she organized for her son Luka. Rather than having a fixed duration for punishment, she waits to see sustained positive behavior, illustrating her attentiveness to genuine change over superficial compliance.

By tailoring your parenting techniques to align with the unique characteristics of your individual children, you can create a more effective and supportive environment for their growth.

Creating Open Communication

When it comes to guiding teens through adolescence, open communication is key. Kristina emphasizes the importance of careful listening and establishing a safe space that allows teenagers to openly express their feelings. This practice is crucial for ensuring that they experience recognition and support, particularly during the frequently tumultuous teenage years.

By prioritizing careful listening with your teenager, you can foster a space where open communication of their ideas is encouraged. This approach helps you grasp the intricacies involved in parenting adolescents and develop a deeper comprehension of the underlying reasons for their actions.

Modeling Accountability

As a parent, it's essential to model humility and accountability. Kristina recognizes that only by acknowledging her own mistakes can she use them as opportunities for growth. By offering a heartfelt apology and enabling young adults to transcend their previous actions, she fosters their growth and maturation.

Remember, it's entirely normal to not consistently be your teen's most fervent advocate. The challenging conduct often exhibited by adolescents is generally a transient phase. By acknowledging your own mistakes and showing your children that imperfections don't diminish their worthiness of love or their entitlement to happiness, you can create a more supportive and understanding environment.

Finding Balance Between Guidance and Freedom

As your children navigate adolescence, it's crucial to find equilibrium between guidance and freedom. Kristina strives to maintain a harmonious approach that combines enforcing discipline through appropriate consequences while nurturing a space that motivates her teenagers to seek independence and carve out distinct paths.

For instance, Kristina devised a spontaneous activity that involved carrying out three random acts of kindness, aiming to transform her son's perspective into a more altruistic one. This reflects her conviction that teenagers, when they display behavior that appears least worthy of love, are actually in the greatest need of it.

Maintaining a Supportive Presence

Even as your adolescent child seeks to create some space, it's important to consistently provide support and maintain your presence. Kristina steadfastly believes in the importance of showing relentless love for her children, especially when they face their toughest times.

She also upholds behaviors that foster respect, including making sure her children address their father as "Dad," thereby preserving a level of esteem within the household. By approaching the challenging task of parenting with vigor and warmth, acknowledging the need for resilience, and guiding with a compassionate heart, you can help your teens navigate their pivotal years more effectively.

Navigating Co-parenting Challenges

For parents who are divorced or separated, co-parenting can present additional challenges when raising teens. Kristina emphasizes the significance of working collaboratively as parents alongside her ex-partner, even when faced with difficulties.

She understood the importance of improving communication with her ex-husband for the sake of successful co-parenting. Kristina began the process of mending relationships with individuals who had previously caused her distress, emphasizing the importance of nurturing bonds essential to her welfare and shared parenting responsibilities.

Maintaining a United Front

To create a supportive environment for your teens, it's crucial to maintain a united front with your co-parent. Kristina consistently upheld her composure and a forgiving attitude, ensuring she never spoke ill of her former partner in the presence of their children. She prioritized the well-being of her children over her personal pride, even inviting her ex-partner to dinner to cultivate her empathetic nature.

By participating in difficult conversations with your ex-partner and their family, you can establish a unified strategy for the well-being of your children. Remember, all family members, grandparents included, may need to set aside their pride for the sake of the children.

Smoothing Transitions

Recognizing the challenges your children face while transitioning between two homes is essential. Kristina implemented a "buffer day" to smooth the transition for her child when moving between homes. She coined the term "time zone adjustment day" to help her offspring adapt, offering extra understanding and flexibility to promote a more seamless beginning for everyone involved.

By showing empathy and understanding the changes your children face while moving between two households, you can create a more supportive and nurturing atmosphere for your teens as they navigate the complexities of shared parenting post-separation.