{"id":99664,"date":"2023-04-16T12:23:00","date_gmt":"2023-04-16T16:23:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=99664"},"modified":"2023-04-20T15:19:13","modified_gmt":"2023-04-20T19:19:13","slug":"how-to-be-more-confident-in-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-be-more-confident-in-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be More Confident in Yourself and Your Abilities"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Are you struggling to lift yourself up? How can you be more confident in yourself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>Do Hard Things<\/em>, Steve Magness argues that to properly gain resilience, you must develop inner confidence. This confidence has to be based on a realistic understanding and acceptance of your abilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Continue reading to learn how to be more confident in yourself every day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-build-inner-confidence\"><strong>Build Inner Confidence<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Figuring out how to be more confident in yourself is important because it keeps your insecurities or doubts from taking over when you face difficult situations. When we doubt ourselves, we may feel we aren\u2019t capable of accomplishing the task at hand. Old-school toughness is more concerned with the <em>appearance<\/em> of confidence, which isn\u2019t based on reality and thus doesn\u2019t help when doubts and insecurities arise.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The self-esteem movement of the \u201980s and \u201990s is an example of how false confidence can be harmful. People constantly told their children that they were special and that they could achieve anything they put their minds to. But this ideology leads to overconfidence\u2014people believing they\u2019re <em>more<\/em> capable than they actually are. When this overconfidence meets reality, it can be discouraging and demotivating to realize that you\u2019re not as capable as you believed. To counteract such false confidence, we should focus on gaining real experience and understanding our capabilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/barking-up-the-wrong-tree\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Barking Up the Wrong Tree<\/em><\/a>, Eric Barker also points to the drawbacks of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/too-much-confidence\/\">too much confidence<\/a>, saying that being too confident can lead us to believe we\u2019re more capable than we actually are and <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/barking-up-the-wrong-tree\/1-page-summary#become-self-compassionate\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">thus make poor decisions<\/a>. However, instead of working on inner confidence, Barker suggests we ignore self-confidence entirely and work on practicing <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/compassion-for-yourself\/\">self-compassion<\/a> <\/em>(<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-go-easy-on-yourself\/\">being kind to yourself<\/a>). Self-compassion helps you achieve success by decreasing your fear of failure\u2014if you\u2019re kind to yourself when you fail, you won\u2019t be as afraid to fail. Unlike self-confidence, though, Barker claims that self-compassion doesn\u2019t lead to an overestimation of your abilities and thus encourages accurate judgments.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In order to build inner confidence, Magness provides the following advice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Shoot for consistency, not all-time highs: <\/strong>Many people base their confidence on their highest achievements\u2014the highest grade they got on a calculus test or the most points they scored in a basketball game. But judging yourself based on your best performance leads you to hold yourself to unrealistic standards, and when you inevitably fail to live up to those standards, it can be demoralizing. Instead of seeking to improve your best performance, look to achieve a higher average. This will lead you to be more confident in your abilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In the world of sports, consistent strong performance is a key to success. Sports psychologists provide some <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/the-power-prime\/201611\/4-keys-consistently-great-athletic-performances#:~:text=puzzle%20you%20need%20to%20put%20into%20place,consistently%20and%20achieving%20your%20game-day\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">tips on how to consistently perform<\/a> well that can also be applied to other aspects of your life. The key is to be consistent in all aspects of your training. You need to give a consistent amount of effort when you train and prepare. If you slack off when you practice, you won\u2019t be prepared for when it\u2019s time to perform. Also, you need to maintain a consistently <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-have-a-positive-mindset\/\">positive mindset<\/a>, avoiding traps like perfectionism and a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-overcome-fear-of-failure\/\">fear of failure<\/a>.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Accept your weaknesses: <\/strong>Confidence isn\u2019t only about acknowledging what you\u2019re good at, it\u2019s also about knowing you can be good at things even if you have weaknesses. Magness says that if you only <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/focus-on-your-strengths-not-your-weaknesses\/\">focus on your strengths<\/a>, you aren\u2019t accurately evaluating your capabilities. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/true-confidence\/\">Real confidence<\/a> is about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-power-of-belief\/\">believing in yourself<\/a> <em>despite<\/em> your weaknesses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Though accepting your weaknesses is important, it\u2019s also important not to focus on them too intensely. In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/strengthsfinder-2-0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>StrengthsFinder 2.0<\/em><\/a>, Tom Rath argues that the problem with most self-improvement methods is that <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/strengthsfinder-2-0\/1-page-summary#the-problem-with-modern-self-improvement-it-focuses-on-weaknesses\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">they put too much emphasis on correcting weaknesses<\/a>. The idea of such methods is that if you put in the effort, you can overcome any weakness. However, we all have inherent weaknesses that can\u2019t be easily corrected or overcome. Because of this, we should focus on improving our <em>strengths<\/em>, as we\u2019ll get more out of the effort we put into it.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you struggling to lift yourself up? How can you be more confident in yourself? In Do Hard Things, Steve Magness argues that to properly gain resilience, you must develop inner confidence. This confidence has to be based on a realistic understanding and acceptance of your abilities. Continue reading to learn how to be more confident in yourself every day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":83571,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,9,43],"tags":[986],"class_list":["post-99664","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motivation","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-do-hard-things","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Be More Confident in Yourself and Your Abilities - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"At the end of the day, the one person who will always have your back is yourself. 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