What is the importance of good friends? What aspects of life depend on friendship?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Friendships allow us to be with like-minded people who help us grow. Outside of sharing interests, friendships can benefit other areas of our lives, such as our romantic relationships and self-esteem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s break down the importance of good friends by looking at four reasons why they matter in your personal life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Editor\u2019s note: This article is part of Shortform\u2019s guide to friendships<\/a>. If you like what you read here, there\u2019s plenty more to check out in the guide!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Friendship is the foundation of strong, long-lasting marriages. In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>John Gottman<\/a> and Nan Silver argue that if you want a long-lasting and happy marriage<\/a>, you must improve your marital friendship<\/strong>. In other words, you and your spouse must hold each other in high esteem and genuinely appreciate the time you spend together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gottman and Silver explain that being good friends with your partner supports a happy marriage because it encourages a phenomenon known as \u201cpositive sentiment override,\u201d or PSO. If you have PSO, you trust that your partner is doing their best and assume that they have positive intentions. So you interpret your partner\u2019s actions in the best possible way\u2014which maintains positivity in the relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But if you don\u2019t<\/em> have a strong marital friendship, you may experience the opposite of PSO: \u201cnegative sentiment override,\u201d or NSO. If you have NSO, you assume that your partner is sabotaging you and has negative intentions. NSO leads you to interpret your partner\u2019s actions in the worst possible way\u2014fostering negativity that permeates and ultimately destroys your relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Now that you know the importance of good friends for your marriage, let\u2019s look at how you can improve your marital friendship. Gottman and Silver say you must follow four principles:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Making new friends throughout your life can provide you with greater feelings of connection and can introduce you to new perspectives and interests. <\/strong>It\u2019s easy to get comfortable with the friends you have and become a bit resistant to widening your circle. To combat this tendency, The Happiness Project<\/em><\/a> by Gretchen Rubin established a friend-making goal<\/em>\u2014in each new social situation she encountered, she set a goal to make three new friends. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This method seems a bit too calculated for a social endeavor, but she found that it makes you more open to socializing in a few key ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Tipping Point<\/em><\/a> by Malcolm Gladwell also discusses the importance of good friends in helping you make new connections. People who are known as \u201cconnectors\u201d tend to be connected to many communities\u2014whether through interests and hobbies, jobs that cause them to work with people in other fields, or other experiences. Everyone should strive to become a connector because every time you make a new friend, you occupy many different worlds and bring them together.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Flow<\/em><\/a> by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi suggests that in contrast to relationships with family members, it\u2019s easier to enjoy friendships because you\u2019re able to choose friends that have similar goals and interests\u2014your friends affirm your current goals. People report their most positive moods with friends and tend to associate friendships with adventure and excitement. In contrast, people tend to associate family with warmth and comfort. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Friendship can be a life-changing experience because it\u2019s one of the only relationships in which you can fully express yourself. With your family, you may have to fit a certain role, such as being respectful to your parents, or if you\u2019re a parent, providing care to your children. At work, your behavior may be expected to reflect your role. In contrast, with friends, you can afford to show your true self<\/a> because your goals are similar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For a friendship to be enjoyable, you have to find new challenges to work on together. Intimate friendships are much more likely to provide these experiences. For example, working to understand each other\u2019s uniqueness can be enjoyable. <\/strong>You have to share yourself and pay attention to them when they do the same. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You\u2019ll have more enjoyable experiences with friends who challenge you and help you grow than with casual friends. If your friends affirm you without questioning you at all, it won\u2019t be as enjoyable. <\/strong>For example, regularly going out with drinking buddies and shooting darts or playing cards might be a pleasurable way to affirm your identity and ward off loneliness, but it won\u2019t bring the same enjoyment that more complex, growth-producing activities do. With drinking buddies, you can participate in the group\u2019s banter and joking, but a lot of the dialogue is predictable and doesn\u2019t produce flow like a more original conversation would. <\/p>\n\n\n\n To understand the importance of a good friend\u2019s impact on your self-esteem, you have to know the difference between \u201cbelonging\u201d and \u201cfitting in.\u201d You want to be your true self<\/a> around others, and not change who you are<\/a> to impress people. In <\/strong>Atlas of the Heart<\/em><\/strong><\/a>, Bren\u00e9 Brown says that belonging <\/em>is when you can truly be yourself, and the people around you love you for it.<\/strong> To put it another way, belonging means being someplace where you want to be, and others want you there; it\u2019s a true connection with a group of people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Conversely, \u201cfitting in\u201d<\/strong> is the near enemy of belonging: <\/strong>It resembles true belonging but lacks connection and love. <\/strong>It\u2019s being somewhere you don\u2019t necessarily want to be, and where you have to adjust your behavior to match the others. Far from trying to forge genuine connections, you\u2019re putting up a false front just to avoid negative attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another way to look at the difference between belonging and fitting in<\/a> is: Fitting in means changing yourself<\/a> to match your environment, while belonging means finding or creating an environment that matches you. In other words, fitting in means focusing outward, while belonging means focusing inward. Therefore, it\u2019s natural that true belonging is more personally fulfilling than simply fitting in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Robin Sharma\u2019s input on why good friends are important is that they attract support. In his book Who Will Cry When You Die?<\/em><\/a>, he recommends investing time and energy into forming good friendships that will stay strong through tough times<\/strong>. Putting yourself out there can be difficult, but taking the initiative typically pays off. New friendships add not only joy but also support in your life. If you\u2019re struggling with a new job, it feels reassuring to talk about it to your friend if you knew they\u2019d listen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sharma recommends building an active group of three to four people who offer mutual support in achieving goals<\/strong>. Pick a few friends who have a good head on their shoulders and to whom you, in turn, have something to offer. Set up a weekly meeting<\/a> with this group to talk through current challenges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n However, not everyone may know four such people, though, and studies even showed that in 2004, many Americans had no<\/em> close friends<\/a>. To meet more people to add to your trusted group of supporters, expand your network of casual friendships and acquaintances<\/a>. Casual acquaintances can eventually become trusted confidants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Whether you have one or many friends, it\u2019s important to keep them close. You never know when you\u2019ll need a shoulder to cry on or someone to hang out with on the weekend. Keep your options open, and you\u2019ll discover the importance of good friends in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What are other reasons why friendships are important? Let us know in the comments below!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" What is the importance of good friends? What aspects of life depend on friendship? Friendships allow us to be with like-minded people who help us grow. Outside of sharing interests, friendships can benefit other areas of our lives, such as our romantic relationships and self-esteem. Let\u2019s break down the importance of good friends by looking at four reasons why they matter in your personal life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":8136,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,12],"tags":[452],"class_list":["post-99067","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-relationships","tag-guides","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\n1. Friendship Is the Foundation of Marriage<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
How to Improve Your Marital Friendship<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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2. Friendship Offers New Connections and Interests<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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3. Friendship Helps You Grow by Being Yourself<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Belonging Versus Fitting In<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. Friendship Offers Support Through Tough Times <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Final Words<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n