{"id":98663,"date":"2023-04-13T14:30:00","date_gmt":"2023-04-13T18:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=98663"},"modified":"2023-04-17T11:26:21","modified_gmt":"2023-04-17T15:26:21","slug":"how-to-identify-your-values","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-identify-your-values\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Identify Your Values to Help You During Hard Times"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What do you cherish most in life? How do you identify your values<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Central to your compass is your values\u2014the things most important to you in life and that you won\u2019t compromise on. According to Mark Divine’s book The Way of the SEAL<\/em>, values guide your actions and keep you on track. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue reading to learn how to identify your values.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Identify Your Values<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Divine says that learning how to identify your values can help you make difficult, life-altering choices, as it helped him. Shortly after he got married, the Navy deployed him to multiple locations for extended periods\u2014leaving his wife home alone. When she said she couldn\u2019t continue their marriage without him home more consistently, Divine thought about what he really wanted in life. He loved his SEAL adventures and team, but his inner compass centered on a pledge to live in the present<\/a>, allow the past to be the past, and create the future he wanted\u2014in this case, a family. Divine left active service for the reserve SEALs and his marriage. He says living his values was the right choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Relinquishing one dream for another to stay true to your values<\/a> may be the right<\/em> thing to do, but psychologists say it\u2019s not always easy<\/em> to do because Western society has an <\/strong>anti-quitter bias<\/strong><\/a> that stigmatizes giving up<\/strong>. Different from failure, which is often seen as a sign of strength (we admire people who fail, get back up, and try again), giving up is viewed as a sign of weakness. People who do it get little sympathy and are seen as having nothing to teach others. The bias is so strong that it makes people stay in unhealthy jobs and relationships.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To identify your values, reflect on how you\u2019d react in different challenging situations. First, get a pen and paper and find a quiet place to sit. Sit up straight, close your eyes, and spend five minutes breathing deeply from your abdomen to relax your body and connect with your subconscious. When you\u2019re done, open your eyes and jot down what you would do if you:<\/p>\n\n\n\n