{"id":9795,"date":"2020-06-25T13:20:00","date_gmt":"2020-06-25T17:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=9795"},"modified":"2020-06-28T19:42:02","modified_gmt":"2020-06-28T23:42:02","slug":"common-communication-problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/common-communication-problems\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Common Communication Problems + How to Fix Them"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What are common communication problems? How do you know if you have any of these communication issues, and how do you fix them? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Crucial Conversations<\/em>, there are many common communication problems that could be holding you back<\/a>. Learn about common communication issues below, and how to solve them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Common Communication Problems<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

There are many common communication problems that people encounter. You can have communication issues at work, or in your personal life, but often, these issues have similar sources. Here are fix common communication problems and how to fix them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. The Fool\u2019s Choice<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

One of the biggest communication problems is the fool’s choice. Often when our adrenaline starts pumping, our brain function stalls and we feel forced to choose between only two bad alternatives. But this either\/or belief gets us sidetracked and can kill dialogue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, when a group of teachers met to discuss curriculum changes, one of them \u2014 an older, experienced teacher \u2014 digressed from the topic and rambled to the point that a younger teacher became frustrated and interrupted him rudely and offensively. The younger teacher made a fool\u2019s choice \u2014 he was disrespectful because he thought his only choices were rudeness or not speaking up, thus allowing the unproductive conversation to continue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But instead of focusing on only those two options, the young teacher should have set aside his emotions and asked himself what he wanted for himself and the relationship. He could have maintained his relationship with his older colleague, while also speaking up in a respectful way <\/strong>\u2014 helping the older man to clarify and focus his points, to add his meaning to the shared pool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you refuse the fool\u2019s choice at an emotional time, and return to the question of what you really want, your brain responds with better options. You can share your concerns, listen to others\u2019 concerns, and<\/em> build your relationship at the same time. You can resolve many communication issues by doing this. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Your Style Under Stress<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Another one of the most common communication problems is that people respond differently under stress. The most difficult thing to watch for as you\u2019re dual-processing is your own behavior. Paying attention<\/a> to your behavior takes a back seat \u2014 it\u2019s hard to pull away from the lure of an argument, plus you have to be alert to others\u2019 tactics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, you need to become a vigilant self-monitor \u2014 pay close attention to what you\u2019re doing and the impact it\u2019s having<\/strong>, then alter your strategy if necessary. Watch specifically to see whether you\u2019re having a good or bad impact on safety. (Many people toggle between holding back and being too forceful). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To increase your self-awareness, think about what you do when conversations become difficult. When you understand your style under stress, you can find ways to improve your effectiveness in crucial conversations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your Stress Test<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s a quiz to see how you respond under pressure (using defensive tactics or dialogue skills). To answer the questions, pick a relationship (at work or home), and consider each statement in that context. Then consider which of the following behaviors\/tactics you\u2019re most inclined to use, and see if it causes common communication problems. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Withdrawing<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. When others become aggressive in conversations, I clam up.<\/li>
  2. I hold back rather than speaking candidly or giving my full opinion.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Masking <\/strong>(understating or selectively showing your true opinions using sarcasm, sugarcoating, and couching)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    1. Rather than say what I think when I\u2019m frustrated, I may use jokes or sarcastic remarks.<\/li>
    2. When I have something critical to say, I try extra hard to soften the blow<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      Avoiding<\/strong> (steering away from sensitive topics)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      1. I try to change the subject when people bring up something awkward.<\/li>
      2. I try to stay away from people I\u2019m having trouble with.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        Controlling<\/strong>: (hyperbole, absolutes, changing subjects, directive questions)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        1. When discussing a topic that\u2019s very important to me, I sharply counter every opposing view.<\/li>
        2. I might cut people off or change the subject to return to what I want to talk about.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

          Labeling<\/a><\/strong> (attaching a label in order to stereotype or dismiss someone or their idea) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

          1. When others make points that I think are stupid, I say so.<\/li>
          2. Sometimes I can\u2019t help myself when I\u2019m stunned by a comment, and I say things like, \u201cGive me a break!\u201d or \u201cAre you serious?\u201d<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

            Attacking<\/strong> (making the other person suffer)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            1. In a heated discussion, I can be tough on the other person; they may end up feeling I insulted them.<\/li>
            2. When the discussion gets heated, I have started saying things to hurt them personally, rather than discussing their points.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

              Ensuring safety<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

              1. When things get tense, I try to find out why people are upset.<\/li>
              2. When others misunderstand me and get defensive, I quickly clarify what I mean by using contrasting (what I don\u2019t and do mean).<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

                Exploring others\u2019 paths<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

                1. When others hesitate to share their views, I listen more intently.<\/li>
                2. After I share strong opinions, I urge others to share opposing views<\/a>.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

                  Controlling your emotions<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

                  1. When others misunderstand me and get defensive, I clarify what I mean by using contrasting (what I don\u2019t and do mean).<\/li>
                  2. When I get upset about something and start blaming others, I stop and ask myself how I contributed to the situation.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

                    3. When It’s Hard to Respect Someone<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

                    Communicating with someone you don’t respect can lead to some of the biggest communication problems. It can be difficult to respect (or share a purpose) with people whose values and morals differ completely from yours, or with someone who is self-centered or has dubious motives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                    But you don\u2019t have to share every objective or respect every aspect of another person\u2019s character before you can talk. This leads to common communication problems. Try this: <\/p>\n\n\n\n