{"id":96990,"date":"2023-03-27T12:55:00","date_gmt":"2023-03-27T16:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=96990"},"modified":"2023-04-05T10:59:10","modified_gmt":"2023-04-05T14:59:10","slug":"how-to-host-a-party","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-host-a-party\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Host a Party: 2 Tips for Opening Your Gathering"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Are you throwing your first party? How do you host a party?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hosting your first party can be intimidating. You want people to have a good time and mingle, but you may not know how to make that happen. With Priya Parker’s book The Art of Gathering<\/em>, you’ll learn how to easily manage the gathering so that your guests will have fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s how to host a party when your guests start to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

How to Begin the Gathering<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Parker argues if you don\u2019t handle the beginning stages of your party right, all your pre-gathering work will have been wasted. To learn how to host a party to the best of your abilities, Parker suggests that you pay attention to two key moments: the arrival and the opening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Manage Your Guests\u2019 Arrival <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Parker suggests that you manage your guests\u2019 arrival <\/strong>by introducing a clear physical or metaphorical transition into your gathering. When your guests arrive, they will be mentally wrapped up in whatever else is going on in their lives\u2014like the fight they just had with their sister. By providing them with an appropriate transition, you encourage them to forget about everything else and refocus their attention on your gathering so they can be fully engaged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: If you (as a guest) are preoccupied with an unrelated event before entering a gathering, it\u2019s arguably your responsibility (not the host\u2019s) to manage your worries so that they don\u2019t distract you from participating fully in the gathering. Try meditating or journaling<\/a> before the gathering so that you can clear your mind slightly and enter the gathering as a blank slate.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The simplest and most literal transition, Parker points out, is a doorway<\/strong>. What you do at the door can help shape your guest\u2019s experience; for example, greeting your guests at the door as if you\u2019re at a wedding will help set a more personal tone for your event. You can go one step further and decorate a hallway in keeping with your event\u2014just as Disneyland designs the hallway into their rides with thematically related items. Alternatively, create a psychological transition<\/strong>. Parker describes how one comedian, prior to starting his set at a charity event, captured the attention of his audience by asking the loudest member of several conversational groups to introduce themselves and then asking everybody to clap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Create Meaningful Transitions<\/strong>

In The Power of Moments<\/em><\/a>, Dan and Chip Heath agree that transitions have the potential to become memorable and meaningful<\/a> when you engineer a clear moment that carries you from one stage to the next. They recommend that to engineer meaning, you should deliberately incorporate one of the following four elements<\/a>: elevation (above everyday experience), insight (an opportunity to discover something new), pride (a sense of validation), or connection. You can creatively incorporate these both into physical and psychological transitions. For example, the comedian Parker describes created a sense of pride for those being applauded and a sense of connection<\/a> between them and the rest of the audience. And greeting your guests at the door provides a sense of connection.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Open Right<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

After properly transitioning into your gathering, turn your attention to the opening. Parker explains that you must open in a way that sets the tone for the gathering<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parker argues that opening right matters: Studies suggest that most people tend to remember beginnings\u2014so how you open will linger most in people\u2019s memory. However, most hosts at gatherings open with organizational matters, such as by thanking sponsors. At best, opening with organizational matters misses an opportunity to harness the pre-gathering momentum you\u2019ve created into a powerful moment. At worst, it may undermine the reason for gathering. For example, if you frame a conference as game-changing and disruptive but start with a boring list of rules, you send the message that you\u2019re following old rules.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why Beginnings Matter<\/strong>

In When<\/em><\/a>, Daniel Pink elaborates on the power of beginnings. He explains that people feel more optimistic and capable at the start of something<\/a>, partly due to a psychological phenomenon known as the \u201cfresh start effect\u201d: Beginnings give people the opportunity to mentally distance themselves from their past mistakes and envision a different (improved) version of themselves. 

This may explain why a powerful opening is so beneficial\u2014and why a boring opening is so damaging. A powerful opening doesn\u2019t just linger in your guests\u2019 memory; it also provides a clear psychological distinction between the person they were pre-<\/em>gathering and the person they\u2019ll be post<\/em>-gathering. But a gathering that opens with logistics doesn\u2019t provide that clear distinction\u2014so the experience won\u2019t ever impact your guests as powerfully as it otherwise might have.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

To open right, Parker recommends that you first make your guests feel accepted and grateful to be at the gathering<\/strong>. This will make them feel like they\u2019re part of something special. Parker describes how one professor memorized every student\u2019s name and then greeted each by name on the first day of a 70-person class: This made the students feel special and demonstrated the professor\u2019s impressive ability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In How to Win Friends and Influence People<\/em><\/a>, Dale Carnegie explains why remembering your guest\u2019s name makes them feel accepted and grateful. A person\u2019s name is their favorite word<\/a> so saying it is a subtle and welcome compliment. However, in How to Stop Worrying and Start Living<\/em><\/a>, Carnegie warns against expecting<\/em> gratitude from your guests for your opening\u2014no matter how well-thought-out. Ingratitude is human nature, so expecting gratitude from others will only lead to resentment on your part<\/a>. Instead of risking being disappointed that your guests don\u2019t feel grateful, consider focusing on the joy of giving them an impressive opening\u2014without expecting anything in return.)    <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, Parker suggests that you create a collective among your guests<\/strong>. As a host, it is your job to make the guests feel like they are part of a group. One simple way to do this is to get your guests to acknowledge each other\u2019s presence and learn something about each other. For example, you might ask your conference attendees to introduce themselves to each other at the table.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In her guide to virtual gatherings<\/a>, Parker suggests that providing breakout rooms in which your guests can chat will help them feel like more of a collective. Having unstructured time in which they can briefly get to know each other will help them connect in a way that\u2019s often difficult to do online.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you throwing your first party? How do you host a party? Hosting your first party can be intimidating. You want people to have a good time and mingle, but you may not know how to make that happen. With Priya Parker’s book The Art of Gathering, you’ll learn how to easily manage the gathering so that your guests will have fun. Here’s how to host a party when your guests start to arrive.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":6898,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,7],"tags":[956],"class_list":["post-96990","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-lifestyle","tag-the-art-of-gathering","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Host a Party: 2 Tips for Opening Your Gathering - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You're hosting your first event, but do you worry it may be boring? 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