{"id":96737,"date":"2023-03-21T22:21:49","date_gmt":"2023-03-22T02:21:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=96737"},"modified":"2025-11-02T15:53:34","modified_gmt":"2025-11-02T19:53:34","slug":"the-four-agreements-exercises","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-four-agreements-exercises\/","title":{"rendered":"The Four Agreements Exercises: 21 Discussion Questions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you tend to take things personally? Are you always making assumptions? Are you a gossip?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The world today<\/a> is full of suffering and cruelty. From birth, we are trained to accept society\u2019s rules as \u201cthe way it is.\u201d But, agreeing to these rules stops us from becoming our true selves. The good news is that there\u2019s a different way to live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Use these The Four Agreements<\/em> exercises to help you implement a new approach to life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Four Agreements<\/em> Exercises<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If we replace the old agreements (society’s rules) with four simple new agreements, we can break free from the rules and find peace and happiness. Here are the new agreements: 1) Use your words impeccably. 2) Don\u2019t take anything personally<\/a>. 3) Don\u2019t make assumptions. 4) Always do your best<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We’ve created seven The Four Agreements<\/em> exercises with 21 discussion questions for you to go through on your own or with a group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Exercise #1: The Power of Your Words<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Use these questions to reflect on how your own words can have a powerful effect on yourself and others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. What negative words do you say to yourself most? (Are you critical of your body? Your intelligence? Your success?)<\/li>
  2. What will you say to yourself the next time you find yourself engaged in negative self-talk<\/a>? Write out the actual new<\/em> words you\u2019ll say to yourself.<\/li>
  3. How could you use the power of your words<\/a> to lift someone else up? Think of one simple example and write it down here. Then do it immediately.<\/li>
  4. After you\u2019ve used your words to lift up someone, how do you feel? Should you do this more often?<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Exercise #2: Don\u2019t Gossip<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    Being impeccable with your words means speaking with integrity. Let\u2019s think about how gossip fits into this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    1. When is a recent time you\u2019ve gossiped about someone or said something negative about someone behind their back? What did you say, and what motivated you to share that gossip?<\/li>
    2. How did you feel about that gossip now? Do you think you should have shared the gossip?<\/li>
    3. If you don\u2019t think you should have gossiped, how could you have stopped yourself from gossiping at that time, even if others were participating? Will this help in the future?<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      Exercise #3: Taking Things Personally Can Damage You<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

      Use these questions to reflect on the damage that taking things personally can inflict on your self-esteem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      1. Think about a recent time when someone\u2019s words hurt you. What was said? Why did it hurt you?<\/li>
      2. Let\u2019s try to overcome this feeling of being attacked and offended. How can you not take this type of comment personally? (Remember: Nothing they think about you is really about you. If someone gets upset at you, they\u2019re dealing with their own issues. You don\u2019t need to accept their emotional garbage.)<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        Exercise #4: Examining the Fallout From Assumptions<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

        Use this exercise to reflect on how assumptions can hurt you and others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        1. Think about a time you made a way-off-base assumption that turned out to be wrong. What was the assumption you made? <\/li>
        2. What problems resulted because of your assumption? For example, you might have behaved differently or said something you didn\u2019t mean.<\/li>
        3. If you were to go back to that time, how could you have clarified the situation to find the truth? (Remember: Ask questions and communicate.)<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

          Exercise #5: Reflect on the Idea of Doing Your Best<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

          Use this exercise to examine why you sometimes don\u2019t give your best effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          1. Think of the last time you know you didn\u2019t do your best. What were you trying to do, and where did you fall short?<\/li>
          2. How did you feel about yourself when you know you didn\u2019t do your best? Did this feeling cause any other problems?<\/li>
          3. Why didn\u2019t you do your best? Part of it may be internal, and part of it may be external.<\/li>
          4. Next time you run into a situation like this, what could you do differently to try to do your best? (These might be changes you make to your situation or internal thoughts you say to yourself.)<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

            Exercise #6: Start Dismantling Your Old Agreements<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

            Use this exercise to identify specific steps you can take to wipe out some old agreements holding you back<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            1. Think of a specific self-limiting, fear-based belief you think is holding you back. (You aren\u2019t good at painting. You\u2019re too clumsy to play a sport. You\u2019re too old to take a challenging new job.) What\u2019s yours? <\/li>
            2. Think of a way to face this fear. What concrete steps can you take? (Buy some paints, and go for it. Join a softball team. Take the job and give it a whirl.)<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

              Exercise #7: Forgiving Others<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
              1. Think of a person who has wronged you. What did this person do or say that is still sticking with you today?<\/li>
              2. How does your anger toward this person affect you today? (Does it stop you from doing what you want to do? Does it affect your other relationships?)<\/li>
              3. Think about how you\u2019d feel if you forgave this person. (Reflect on the Second Agreement<\/a>: it was about them, not about you). How would letting go of your hurt and anger change you?<\/li><\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                Do you tend to take things personally? Are you always making assumptions? Are you a gossip? The world today is full of suffering and cruelty. From birth, we are trained to accept society\u2019s rules as \u201cthe way it is.\u201d But, agreeing to these rules stops us from becoming our true selves. The good news is that there\u2019s a different way to live. Use these The Four Agreements exercises to help you implement a new approach to life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":90894,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1882,43],"tags":[5],"class_list":["post-96737","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-book-discussion","category-self-improvement","tag-the-four-agreements","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Four Agreements Exercises: 21 Discussion Questions - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The Four Agreements can help you break free from society's rules. 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