{"id":96181,"date":"2023-03-31T08:19:00","date_gmt":"2023-03-31T12:19:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=96181"},"modified":"2023-04-11T11:51:20","modified_gmt":"2023-04-11T15:51:20","slug":"how-to-develop-self-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-develop-self-love\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Develop Self-Love: Tips From a Self-Development Coach"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What does it mean to love yourself? How do you cultivate self-love?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To love yourself is to believe that you\u2019re worthy and capable of achieving anything you want in life. When you truly love yourself, you act in your best interests, no matter how hard it is, and in return, the Universe gives you what you want. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s what it means to love yourself, and some tips on how to develop self-love. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

What Does It Mean to Love Yourself?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Loving yourself requires you to act in your best interest, overcome negative self-perceptions, forgive yourself<\/a> for flaws and mistakes, and fully embrace who you are<\/a>. Loving yourself is the most vital ingredient of successful manifestation because it fosters the belief that you can accomplish, and deserve, all your desires in life. This belief combats all forms of negativity, such as the fear of failure<\/a> or self-doubt<\/a>. If you don\u2019t love yourself, these negative thoughts, behaviors, and perspectives will lower your vibration and hinder your progress toward positive manifestation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Is Self-Love and Why Is It Important<\/a>?<\/strong>

In The Gifts of Imperfection<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>Bren\u00e9 Brown reiterates the importance of acting in your best interest, overcoming negative self-perceptions, forgiving yourself for flaws and mistakes, and fully embracing who you are. However, while Nafousi refers to this concept as \u201cpracticing self-love,\u201d Brown refers to it as practicing worthiness<\/em><\/a>. Further, Brown explains that there are three values you must practice to cultivate worthiness:

– Ordinary courage<\/em> is the ability to express your authentic self, feelings, and experiences without feeling ashamed<\/a> (fully embrace who you are<\/a> and overcome negative self-perceptions).\u00a0

– Compassion<\/em> is the ability to use bravery, vulnerability, and acceptance to be kind to yourself and others<\/a> (act in your best interest and forgive yourself for flaws and mistakes).\u00a0

– Connection <\/em>is building meaningful and fulfilling relationships with others<\/a>.

While Nafousi argues that self-love helps you achieve success and fulfillment in life by boosting your ability to manifest<\/em>, Brown argues that practicing worthiness breeds success and happiness because it helps you overcome feelings of shame<\/em><\/a>. Brown elaborates that shame is the ultimate foil to living a happy, fulfilling life<\/a> because it thrives on and encourages fear, self-hatred, and the feeling that you\u2019re not \u201cenough,\u201d and you can\u2019t flourish in these conditions. Similarly, Nafousi might assert that it would be nearly impossible to manifest with these negative thoughts and emotions<\/a> present in your life.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

How to Cultivate Love for Yourself<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Nafousi gives two pieces of advice on how to develop self-love:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, be conscious of your actions and their impacts. <\/strong>Pay attention to the choices you\u2019re making in life and whether those choices are in your best interest. If they\u2019re continually causing you distress or unhappiness, or they\u2019re hindering your progress toward your goals, identify what you can do instead to cultivate more positivity\u2014show yourself love by doing what\u2019s best for you. For example, if you realize that hanging out with a certain friend always makes you feel grouchy, acknowledge that this friend might not be a good match.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortfom note: In The Mountain Is You<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>Brianna Wiest explains that becoming conscious of your self-sabotaging actions\u2014those that work against your best interest\u2014is especially difficult because they tend to be subconscious behaviors. To help identify self-sabotaging behaviors<\/a> that are possibly slipping under your radar, Wiest recommends first identifying everything in your life that you\u2019re unhappy with or want to change<\/a>. Then, create a list of the behaviors that are perpetuating that unhappiness or preventing you from making those changes\u2014these are the self-sabotaging behaviors you must overcome to achieve your ideal life<\/a> and achieve happiness.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, accept your current state. <\/strong>Each day, acknowledge how you\u2019re doing\u2014mentally, physically, and emotionally\u2014and do what you can to help yourself if you\u2019re not feeling great. If this means staying in bed and drinking tea all day, then do so. If this means forcing yourself out of bed and going on a run to clear your mind, then do that. Loving yourself means caring for yourself in whatever way you need right now. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you push yourself<\/a> to do too much when you\u2019re not feeling good, you\u2019ll self-criticize and feel guilty when you inevitably run out of energy and can\u2019t achieve what you want. This will only attract negativity into your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In Codependent No More<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>Melody Beattie reiterates the importance of being attentive to your inner state and giving yourself the grace and care you need,<\/a> and she refers to this concept as self-care. However, Beattie warns that people sometimes abuse \u201cself-care\u201d and use it as an excuse to work against their best interests or neglect responsibilities. For example, skipping work to sleep in because you were tired isn\u2019t<\/em> an appropriate way to practice Nafousi and Beattie\u2019s recommendation\u2014it\u2019s an excuse to neglect your responsibilities. While it\u2019s important not to push yourself too hard<\/a> and burn yourself out, as Nafousi explains, you must also differentiate needs <\/em>(like resting when you\u2019re ill<\/em>) from wants<\/em> (like sleeping in).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What does it mean to love yourself? How do you cultivate self-love? To love yourself is to believe that you\u2019re worthy and capable of achieving anything you want in life. When you truly love yourself, you act in your best interests, no matter how hard it is, and in return, the Universe gives you what you want. Here’s what it means to love yourself, and some tips on how to develop self-love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":33644,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43,6],"tags":[945],"class_list":["post-96181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-improvement","category-spiritual","tag-manifest","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Develop Self-Love: Tips From a Self-Development Coach - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Loving yourself is believing that you\u2019re worthy and capable of achieving anything you want. 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