{"id":95118,"date":"2023-03-07T07:19:00","date_gmt":"2023-03-07T11:19:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=95118"},"modified":"2023-03-10T12:05:08","modified_gmt":"2023-03-10T16:05:08","slug":"self-sabotaging-behavior","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/self-sabotaging-behavior\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Common Self-Sabotaging Behaviors to Avoid"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you constantly self-sabotage by engaging in behaviors that take you further away from your goals? How can you stop doing what you know is hindering your progress?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Self-sabotage is engaging in behaviors that prevent you from achieving your goals<\/a>. While the way you sabotage is unique to your personality and life circumstances, the patterns of self-sabotaging behaviors are not that different from person to person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading to learn about some of the most common self-sabotaging behaviors and how to stop doing them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

What Is Self-Sabotage?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We all want to achieve success in different areas of our life, but our actions don’t always align with our own best interests. Even when we have all the skills and resources at our disposal, we often fail to do what is necessary to make our goals a reality. Furthermore, sometimes we engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that actually contradict <\/em>our best interests.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With this in mind, here’s a look at some of the most common ways we sabotage our own success and happiness<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Instant Gratification<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps the most common self-sabotaging behavior<\/a> is choosing instant over delayed gratification<\/a>. This isn’t totally your fault because it\u2019s wired into human biology: The human brain hasn’t evolved to respond to future rewards: It’s evolved to respond to what’s good right now. This is what economists call \u201cdelay discounting\u201d\u2014we\u2019re hooked on instant gratification and not willing to wait for future gratification. The longer we have to wait for something good, the less we want it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To stop sabotaging yourself<\/a> over instant gratification, you need to stop discounting the future<\/strong>\u2014or at least lower the rate at which you discount it. You have to wrap your mind around the idea that the future is just as important as the present\u2014maybe even more so. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In her book The Willpower Instinct<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>Stanford University psychology professor Kelly McGonigal suggests a two-step plan to help override your tendency to discount your own future: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) Imagine that a long-term goal that you’ve been working toward is already yours. Maybe you’ve finished writing your novel and sent it off to be published, or you’ve completely given up alcohol, or you’ve been attending yoga class steadily for a year. Picture your future self<\/a> enjoying the benefits of having achieved your goals. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) Ask yourself if you’re willing to give up that image of \u201chappy-future-you\u201d for the fleeting impulse that’s tempting you right now. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Willpower Hack: Make Your Temptation Hard to Get <\/strong>

Immediate gratification<\/a> is alluring, so make it hard to access. Give your willpower a window of opportunity by making temptation a little more difficult to achieve. 

For example, if you have to walk downstairs and down the hall to stick your hand in the candy jar, you’ll be less likely to indulge than if you merely have to reach across your desk. Similarly, if you don\u2019t carry your credit cards when you go downtown, you won\u2019t return home with purchases you can\u2019t afford. And you\u2019ll be less likely to procrastinate<\/a> on writing your novel if you invest in software programs like MacFreedom, Anti-Social, or ProcrasDonate, which limit your access to email, social networks, or even the entire Internet. <\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\nTITLE: The Willpower Instinct<\/a>
\nAUTHOR: Kelly McGonigal
\nTIME: 42
\nREADS: 87.9
\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/the-willpower-instinct-cover.png
\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: the-willpower-instinct-summary-kelly-mcgonigal
\nAMZN_ID: XYZ
\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Perfectionism<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

While having high standards is necessary to drive progress, having expectations that border on perfectionism can actually thwart it. When you focus on achieving a perfect outcome, you risk becoming short-sighted and getting stuck on one project or endeavor instead of moving forward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To reorient your focus from perfection to progress, Matthew Rudy, Jason Selk, and Tom Bartow, the authors of Organize Tomorrow Today<\/em><\/a>, recommend assessing what you\u2019re doing well and what you can improve on<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, many people do this ineffectively because they assess themselves with a perfectionist mindset<\/a>. They focus only on their shortcomings and ignore their accomplishments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To help you focus on what you\u2019re doing well as well as the ways you can improve, try writing an evaluation of your progress every day. You can refer back to the successes you\u2019ve recorded whenever your confidence needs a little help. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should center your evaluation around the daily tasks you\u2019ve completed: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 1:<\/strong> At the same time every day, write down three things you did well in the last 24 hours and one thing you can do better in the next 24 hours. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 2:<\/strong> Write down one action you can take to make the improvement you identified in Step 1. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 3:<\/strong> Give yourself a rating from one to 10 based on how well you completed the three prioritized tasks on your to-do list<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Procrastination<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Procrastinating may help you experience short-term relief from the fear of working on certain tasks. In the long-term, however, procrastination makes you worse off. According to psychologists Lenora Yuen and Jane Burka, the authors of Procrastination<\/em><\/a>, there are five ways procrastination sabotages your growth and well-being. <\/p>\n\n\n\n