Do you overreact to criticism or uncomfortable situations? How can you be less sensitive?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sensitivity can show that you\u2019re in touch with your emotions<\/a>, which is a good thing. On the other hand, being overly sensitive can prevent you from engaging in meaningful social interactions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Get out of your own way and learn how to be less sensitive with our methods.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n While almost everyone embodies some level of sensitivity, high sensitivity is a trait that isn\u2019t usually found in the general population, writes Elaine Aron in her book The Highly Sensitive Person<\/em><\/a>. About one-fifth of people are highly sensitive.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n The drawback of high sensitivity, according to Aron, is the tendency to become overstimulated. Highly sensitive people are more sensitive to sensory stimuli, which makes them more susceptible to sensory overload due to overarousal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n According to Aron, arousal is the nervous system\u2019s natural response to stimuli. It affects everyone differently, and it\u2019s not necessarily good or bad. Everyone, highly sensitive person or not, functions best when they\u2019re neither overaroused nor underaroused. <\/p>\n\n\n\n However, stimulation affects highly sensitive people more profoundly than people with a moderate level of sensitivity, leading to more frequent overarousal: people who are very sensitive are more likely to notice stimuli that others don\u2019t, process the stimuli and information more deeply, and have more intense emotions as a result. Stimuli that affect overly sensitive people particularly strongly include strong smells, bright lights, loud noises, large crowds, pain, and hunger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When experiencing overarousal, overly sensitive people often freeze up and may feel trapped by the overload of stimulation. If it becomes too severe, they may experience a phenomenon called transmarginal inhibition<\/em>, in which they shut down completely, unable to tolerate the stimulation they\u2019re feeling. People will often avoid situations that might trigger this stimulation, such as parties or other social events.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As we discussed above, extreme sensitivity can disrupt your life and cause personal distress, especially if you refuse to engage in events that are triggering. But you shouldn\u2019t have to live a life of discomfort and fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We\u2019ve outlined four ways to learn how to be less sensitive so you can keep your emotions in balance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The first way<\/a> to learn how to be less sensitive is to know and manage your emotions<\/a> effectively. According to Daniel Goleman\u2019s book Emotional Intelligence<\/em><\/a>, self-awareness is the ability to recognize a feeling as it\u2019s happening to you.<\/strong> Being able to monitor our feelings as they\u2019re occurring helps us understand ourselves and our psychology. The more certain we are about our feelings, the easier it is to overcome sensitivity.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n People who know their emotions are aware of their moods as they happen but can be mindful of how they deal with them. They\u2019re more sure of their boundaries since they know how they\u2019ll feel. They tend to have a positive outlook on life<\/a> since they know they can manage whatever moods are thrown at them. They don\u2019t dwell on bad moods and can get out of ruts faster. They can be mindful of their emotions and manage them successfully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The goal is to be self-aware about our emotions, but most people deal with their emotions in one of two unhealthy ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once we\u2019re aware of our emotional responses as we\u2019re having them, we can start to regulate how they influence our actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Three emotions are attached to sensitivity and are hard to regulate: anger, anxiety, and sadness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \r\nTITLE: Emotional Intelligence Sensitivity is most often triggered when you take things personally. To be less sensitive, remind yourself not to take things to heart. It sounds deceptively simple, but so many of us are sensitive and defensive, primed to ward off the negativity the world throws at us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But if you gain internal strength\u2014meaning becoming more confident with yourself and boosting your self-esteem\u2014taking on this challenge becomes easier. No good comes from taking things personally. In fact, The Four Agreements<\/em><\/a> by Don Miguel Ruiz<\/a> says it\u2019s a chain reaction of bad:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Someone says something about you => You take it personally => You\u2019re offended => You defend yourself and your position => You fire back something about the other person => The other person takes THAT personally, gets offended, and says something meaner =>…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n It goes on and on. Does this remind you of any arguments you\u2019ve had in the past? When you take things personally, you can resent them and simmer for much more time than is appropriate. You also take what might otherwise be helpful advice and reject it out of anger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How do we refrain from taking things personally? Here\u2019s the simple belief to put this into action: Any negative input is about the other person, not you<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Whenever someone says something to us or about us, pause and remember the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s an example: Someone calls you ugly. This isn\u2019t about you at all. It\u2019s about the opinions and beliefs they have incorporated. Calling you ugly comes from their own wounds. If they were feeling great about life, they\u2019d probably be calling you beautiful. They certainly wouldn\u2019t take pleasure in putting you down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And whether the other person calls you beautiful or ugly, their input about you is unimportant. The only thing that matters is how you feel about yourself. Whether it\u2019s good or bad, just don\u2019t accept others\u2019 judgment of you. And it\u2019s not just other people\u2019s opinions and judgments that are harmful; you shouldn\u2019t even take your own opinions about yourself personally<\/strong>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n \r\nTITLE: The Four Agreements Most sensitive people are introverts who might oppose the idea of being in situations they know will trigger their sensitivity. For instance, if you hate criticism from your peers, you might prefer to do individual work instead of group work at school or work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Quiet: The Power of Introverts<\/em><\/a> by Susan Cain suggests expanding your temperament a bit by willingly doing things outside your comfort zone. That way, you\u2019ll slowly get used to triggering events or conversations that are unavoidable in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Our personalities are somewhat like rubber bands, able to stretch but only so far. <\/strong>Introvert Bill Gates can hone his social skills but he\u2019ll never be as gregarious as Bill Clinton\u2014and Clinton will never be a solitary computer genius like Gates. A highly sensitive introvert<\/a> likely won\u2019t ever be an extrovert, but there\u2019s always room to learn and practice skills to be more comfortable interacting socially.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, a sensitive introvert can learn and practice skills to be more comfortable interacting socially. As an introvert, author Susan Cain struggled with public speaking, yet it was something her work often required her to do. To make the experience less stressful, she took a class in public speaking and also taught herself some stress-reduction techniques, such as:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stepping outside of your comfort zone and knowing how to be less sensitive in uncomfortable situations is great, but you also don\u2019t want to act out of character for too long. This is because it takes up a lot of energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You need to create \u201crestorative niches,\u201d where you can relax and be yourself. <\/strong>These niches can be a physical place\u2014many introverts take a break in the bathroom after giving a speech or during a long social event. While giving a series of lectures to military officers, Little took a walk by himself between lectures, rather than having lunch with the top brass. You can also create restorative niches by giving yourself a relaxing weekend before a big event, taking breaks for yoga or meditation<\/a>, or replacing a face-to-face meeting with a phone call or email.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can even create a restorative, or at least a less stressful, niche during a meeting or event by choosing when you arrive, where you sit, and how you communicate. These choices help you establish physical distance and perspective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before accepting a job, you might want to consider the availability of restorative niches<\/strong> that fit your personality\u2014for instance, would you have a private workspace or face the constant interruptions of an open office?<\/p>\n\n\n\n In your personal life, you might have to negotiate what Little calls a \u201cFree Trait Agreement\u201d with a spouse or partner, in which you each agree to act out of character on occasion, in exchange for being in character most of the time. For instance, you\u2019ll attend your wife\u2019s best friend\u2019s wedding, but you\u2019ll skip the pre-wedding social activities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Making these compromises helps you grow beyond your sensitivity, while also staying faithful to your personality. Because of this, restorative niches are one of the best ways to learn how to be less sensitive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \r\nTITLE: Quiet: The Power of Introverts<\/a> If your sensitivity is disrupting your everyday life, consider trying different types of therapy to help you be less sensitive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In The Highly Sensitive Person<\/em><\/a>, Aron describes four types that have been shown to help you understand how to be less sensitive: cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, physical therapy, and spiritual therapy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cognitive behavioral therapy<\/strong> focuses on changing the way you think and behave. It may involve getting better at certain tasks like socializing, or it may be focused on helping you learn to relax or get rid of irrational thoughts. These techniques can be done on your own, but it\u2019s usually helpful to have a coach. A disadvantage of this technique is that it focuses on surface-level symptoms and sometimes treats sensitivity like an overreaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Interpersonal therapy<\/strong> is based on talking and building a relationship with your therapist or group. It draws from different schools of psychology and focuses on inner work, such as working through feelings of trauma or experimenting with ideas about the future. Aron particularly recommends Jungian analysis because of its focus on the unconscious mind<\/a> and its incorporation of spirituality. A disadvantage of this approach is that it might be overly appealing to sensitive people because they are so good at introspection, and it may be difficult to leave this type of therapy\u2014which can be very expensive.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWhat Does It Mean to Be Sensitive? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
How to Overcome Sensitivity<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Practice Managing Your Emotions<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\r\nAUTHOR: Daniel Goleman
\r\nTIME: 52
\r\nREADS: 50.6
\r\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/emotionalintelligence_cover.jpg
\r\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: emotional-intelligence-summary-daniel-goleman
\r\nAMZN_ID: B000JMKVCG
\r\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n2. Don\u2019t Take Things Personally<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How Do We Go About <\/strong>Not<\/em><\/strong> Taking Things Personally?<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
\r\nAUTHOR: Don Miguel Ruiz
\r\nTIME: 12
\r\nREADS: 36.7
\r\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/fouragreements_cover.jpg
\r\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: the-four-agreements-summary-don-miguel-ruiz
\r\nAMZN_ID: B005BRS8Z6
\r\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n3. Expand Your Comfort Zone<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t Stretch Yourself Until You Break<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
\r\nAUTHOR: Susan Cain
\r\nTIME: 37
\r\nREADS: 23.8
\r\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/quiet-cover.jpg
\r\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: quiet-power-of-introverts-summary-susan-cain
\r\nAMZN_ID: B004J4WNL2
\r\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n4. Engage in Different Types of Therapy<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n