{"id":93988,"date":"2023-02-26T12:24:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-26T16:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=93988"},"modified":"2026-01-22T22:41:27","modified_gmt":"2026-01-23T02:41:27","slug":"how-to-solve-marriage-problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Solve Marriage Problems: The 4 Steps to Resolution"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What are the most common causes of disagreement in a marriage? How can you handle disagreement peacefully and effectively?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to relationship researcher John Gottman<\/a>, you\u2019ll encounter two categories of disagreement in your marriage: solvable problems and perpetual problems. As their name implies, solvable problems are relatively simple issues that you can fix.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s how to solve marriage problems in a calm and tactful manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Solvable Marriage Problems<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work<\/em>, relationship researcher John Gottman (along with co-author Nan Silver) explains how to solve marriage problems that are solvable<\/em>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 1: Adjust the beginning<\/strong>. If you begin<\/em> the conversation negatively, you\u2019re more likely to induce a negative response from your spouse. Instead, begin the conversation calmly. First, describe your emotions about the issue. Avoid making accusatory statements that begin with \u201cyou,\u201d generalizing the issue, or passing immediate judgment. Second, express your desires (not what you don\u2019t <\/em>desire) to your partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, say that you\u2019re upset because your partner is on their phone during dinner. Don\u2019t say, \u201cI can\u2019t believe you\u2019re on your phone! You never make time for me.\u201d Instead, say, \u201cI\u2019m really upset that you\u2019re on your phone during dinner. I\u2019d like to spend time with you when we\u2019re both focused solely on each other.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In Attached<\/em><\/a>, Levine and Heller suggest other ways to adjust the beginning of your conflicts<\/a>. First, time your discussion for when both of you are calm and collected. If the situation is already volatile, let it simmer down before you attempt an honest, forthright discussion. Second, when expressing your needs, keep in mind that your goal is not<\/em> to make your partner feel inadequate but merely to express your needs<\/a> without blaming or judging. This will help you focus on using phrases like \u201cI need\u201d or \u201cI want.\u201d Third, even if you do<\/em> have a general complaint, use specific examples and concrete language; using generalities leaves room for misunderstandings.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 2. Practice de-escalation<\/strong>. As we learned previously, a crucial difference between happy and unhappy couples is whether they respond to each other\u2019s de-escalation attempts. Gottman and Silver explain that improving your marital friendship will naturally increase the likelihood that you\u2019ll notice your spouse\u2019s de-escalation attempts, but he also recommends practicing de-escalation<\/a>. During an argument, if you\u2019re making<\/em> the attempt, try announcing to your partner that you\u2019re doing so. If you\u2019re listening<\/em> to the attempt, do your best to receive it and heed your partner\u2019s request. For example, if they say, \u201cI\u2019m making a de-escalation attempt. Can we take a break?\u201d let them do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Other relationship experts warn that you shouldn\u2019t expect<\/em> your partner to respond positively to your de-escalation attempt<\/a>. If it doesn\u2019t go over well, don\u2019t get angry with your partner; rather, calm yourself and then evaluate what you could do differently\u2014for example, you might adjust your tone. If you\u2019re the one struggling to accept the de-escalation attempt, try switching your perspective: Look for the good in your partner<\/a> instead of focusing on their flaws. Finally, after you\u2019ve both calmed down, discuss any failed de-escalation attempts; knowing why they didn\u2019t work will help you find ones that do.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 3. Calm down<\/strong>. Gottman and Silver note that if you\u2019re feeling flooded, you likely won\u2019t be able to have a productive discussion. So pay attention to your emotional and physical state: If you feel as though you’re about to blow up on your partner or your heart rate rises dramatically, you\u2019re likely flooded. If so, take a 20-minute break to calm yourself. Do something that prevents you from ruminating on your argument; Gottman and Silver suggest physical exercise or meditation<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Some experts suggest that your attachment style dictates how you respond to a fight<\/a>. If you\u2019re an anxious attacher<\/a>, you may be prone to becoming flooded because you\u2019re more highly attuned to the threat the fight poses (your partner leaving you). So it might be particularly important for you to take a break; if you can\u2019t calm yourself, try distracting yourself<\/a> by watching a TV show. In contrast, if you\u2019re an avoidant attacher, you might resist any efforts to resolve conflict<\/a> because you want to maintain some emotional distance. So try not to ask your partner for a break unless you really<\/em> need one; don\u2019t ask for a break as a way to avoid talking about the issue.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you\u2019ve calmed yourself, try calming your partner<\/strong>. Gottman and Silver explain that if you regularly calm your partner, your partner will connect your presence with a reduction<\/em> in stress rather than an increase<\/em> in stress, which will naturally improve your relationship<\/a>. This does not<\/em> mean telling your partner to \u201ccalm down\u201d mid-argument; this will only anger them further because they\u2019ll feel as though you\u2019re not taking them seriously. Instead, pick a time when you\u2019re not fighting to brainstorm ways to relax each other. Then, after your 20-minute break, do the thing you\u2019ve discussed; giving each other massages is a popular relaxation technique. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Calm Your Kids Down, Too<\/strong>

Just as calming your partner can help you work through a conflict, calming your child can make disciplining them easier. The No-Drama Discipline<\/em><\/a> authors explain that if your child is feeling a strong emotion (like anger), their lower brain has taken control, so they no longer have access to upper-brain skills like emotional regulation. Therefore, they suggest that you try to connect with your kid<\/a>, for example, by giving them a hug or acknowledging how they feel. By doing so, you\u2019ll help their lower brain calm down so they can again access their rational upper brain. 

Additionally, just as regularly calming your partner has long-term benefits, so does regularly calming your kids: Over time, using connection to help calm the lower brain helps children strengthen the connections between their upper and lower brains so they can more effectively rein in the lower brain\u2019s strong reactions.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Step 4. Negotiate.<\/strong> Gottman and Silver argue that if you want a happy marriage<\/a>, you must learn to negotiate a solution that works for both of you. If one of you consistently gives in to your spouse, you\u2019ll breed resentment that damages your marriage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To negotiate effectively, first adjust your attitude<\/strong>. You must be willing to hear your partner out, even if you think they\u2019re wrong\u2014otherwise, you won\u2019t be able to have a productive discussion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, each of you separately should draw two circles<\/strong>, one within the other. In the smaller circle, list everything about the issue that you can\u2019t budge on. In the larger circle, list everything you\u2019re willing to negotiate. Do your best to minimize the list in the smaller circle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Third, share your circles with each other<\/strong> to negotiate a solution that incorporates both your inner circles. Try this solution for a few weeks; if the problem doesn\u2019t improve, revisit your circles and come up with an alternative solution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Difference Between Negotiation and Compromise<\/strong>

Although Gottman and Silver use the terms \u201cnegotiation\u201d and \u201ccompromise\u201d interchangeably, other experts argue that these two terms mean different things<\/a>. In a negotiation, each partner receives something they truly<\/em> desire in exchange for letting their partner have something they really <\/em>want. In a compromise, neither partner is ever fully satisfied because both settle for a less-than-ideal solution. Gottman and Silver\u2019s technique is more like a compromise in that neither partner gets exactly<\/em> what they want; however, both feel satisfied enough because the compromise satisfies their most important desires.

Like Gottman and Silver, these experts argue that effective negotiation<\/a> requires receptivity to your partner\u2019s needs as well as clarity on what exactly you need from your relationship. Unlike Gottman and Silver, these experts suggest that you bargain with your partner: Each of you should let your partner have<\/em> their true desire<\/a> so that you can also<\/em> receive your true desire. You should end the negotiation feeling that this desire will truly be fulfilled; otherwise, the negotiation is unsuccessful and your problem will surface again.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What are the most common causes of disagreement in a marriage? How can you handle disagreement peacefully and effectively? According to relationship researcher John Gottman, you\u2019ll encounter two categories of disagreement in your marriage: solvable problems and perpetual problems. As their name implies, solvable problems are relatively simple issues that you can fix. Here’s how to solve marriage problems in a calm and tactful manner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":45358,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,12],"tags":[920],"class_list":["post-93988","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-relationships","tag-the-seven-principles-for-making-marriage-work","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Solve Marriage Problems: The 4 Steps to Resolution - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You\u2019ll face two kinds of disagreement in your marriage: solvable problems and perpetual problems. Here's how to solve your solvable problems.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Solve Marriage Problems: The 4 Steps to Resolution\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You\u2019ll face two kinds of disagreement in your marriage: solvable problems and perpetual problems. Here's how to solve your solvable problems.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-02-26T16:24:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-01-23T02:41:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/conflict-argument-fight-couple.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1920\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1080\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"How to Solve Marriage Problems: The 4 Steps to Resolution\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-02-26T16:24:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-01-23T02:41:27+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/\"},\"wordCount\":1386,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/conflict-argument-fight-couple.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Communication\",\"Relationships\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/\",\"name\":\"How to Solve Marriage Problems: The 4 Steps to Resolution - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/conflict-argument-fight-couple.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-02-26T16:24:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-01-23T02:41:27+00:00\",\"description\":\"You\u2019ll face two kinds of disagreement in your marriage: solvable problems and perpetual problems. Here's how to solve your solvable problems.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/conflict-argument-fight-couple.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/conflict-argument-fight-couple.jpg\",\"width\":1920,\"height\":1080},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How to Solve Marriage Problems: The 4 Steps to Resolution\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"description\":\"The World's Best Book Summaries\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"width\":500,\"height\":74,\"caption\":\"Shortform Books\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\",\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Untitled-design-1.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Untitled-design-1.png\",\"caption\":\"Darya Sinusoid\"},\"description\":\"Darya\u2019s love for reading started with fantasy novels (The LOTR trilogy is still her all-time-favorite). Growing up, however, she found herself transitioning to non-fiction, psychological, and self-help books. She has a degree in Psychology and a deep passion for the subject. She likes reading research-informed books that distill the workings of the human brain\/mind\/consciousness and thinking of ways to apply the insights to her own life. Some of her favorites include Thinking, Fast and Slow, How We Decide, and The Wisdom of the Enneagram.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/darya\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to Solve Marriage Problems: The 4 Steps to Resolution - Shortform Books","description":"You\u2019ll face two kinds of disagreement in your marriage: solvable problems and perpetual problems. Here's how to solve your solvable problems.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to Solve Marriage Problems: The 4 Steps to Resolution","og_description":"You\u2019ll face two kinds of disagreement in your marriage: solvable problems and perpetual problems. Here's how to solve your solvable problems.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/","og_site_name":"Shortform Books","article_published_time":"2023-02-26T16:24:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2026-01-23T02:41:27+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1920,"height":1080,"url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/conflict-argument-fight-couple.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Darya Sinusoid","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Darya Sinusoid","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/"},"author":{"name":"Darya Sinusoid","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46"},"headline":"How to Solve Marriage Problems: The 4 Steps to Resolution","datePublished":"2023-02-26T16:24:00+00:00","dateModified":"2026-01-23T02:41:27+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/"},"wordCount":1386,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/conflict-argument-fight-couple.jpg","keywords":["The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work"],"articleSection":["Communication","Relationships"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/","name":"How to Solve Marriage Problems: The 4 Steps to Resolution - Shortform Books","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/conflict-argument-fight-couple.jpg","datePublished":"2023-02-26T16:24:00+00:00","dateModified":"2026-01-23T02:41:27+00:00","description":"You\u2019ll face two kinds of disagreement in your marriage: solvable problems and perpetual problems. Here's how to solve your solvable problems.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/conflict-argument-fight-couple.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/conflict-argument-fight-couple.jpg","width":1920,"height":1080},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-solve-marriage-problems\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to Solve Marriage Problems: The 4 Steps to Resolution"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","name":"Shortform Books","description":"The World's Best Book Summaries","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization","name":"Shortform Books","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","width":500,"height":74,"caption":"Shortform Books"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46","name":"Darya Sinusoid","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Untitled-design-1.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Untitled-design-1.png","caption":"Darya Sinusoid"},"description":"Darya\u2019s love for reading started with fantasy novels (The LOTR trilogy is still her all-time-favorite). Growing up, however, she found herself transitioning to non-fiction, psychological, and self-help books. She has a degree in Psychology and a deep passion for the subject. She likes reading research-informed books that distill the workings of the human brain\/mind\/consciousness and thinking of ways to apply the insights to her own life. Some of her favorites include Thinking, Fast and Slow, How We Decide, and The Wisdom of the Enneagram.","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/darya\/"}]}},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/conflict-argument-fight-couple.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93988","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=93988"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93988\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":147957,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93988\/revisions\/147957"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/45358"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=93988"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=93988"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=93988"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}