{"id":93985,"date":"2023-03-02T09:43:00","date_gmt":"2023-03-02T13:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=93985"},"modified":"2026-01-22T22:31:58","modified_gmt":"2026-01-23T02:31:58","slug":"signs-marriage-is-falling-apart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/","title":{"rendered":"The 3 Common Signs a Marriage Is Falling Apart"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What are the telltale signs a marriage is falling apart? How can you rescue a marriage that’s headed for divorce?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The telltale sign your marriage is headed for divorce is an ongoing problem that leads to flooding. Flooding is a psychological phenomenon in which one partner feels so emotionally stressed that they\u2019re unable to respond rationally to their spouse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s how flooding destroys marriages and some signs that your marriage might be in trouble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

How Flooding Destroys Marriages<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In their book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work<\/em>, John Gottman<\/a> and Nan Silver argue that conflicts can destroy marriages if they induce flooding. Regular flooding leads to divorce<\/strong> because it leads spouses to emotionally detach from each other. If someone consistently feels flooded when fighting with their spouse, they start to expect<\/em> that they\u2019ll be attacked. Eventually, this expectation permeates the entire <\/em>marriage\u2014and in an effort to protect themselves emotionally, the flooded spouse disengages from the relationship. This emotional disengagement makes each spouse feel isolated\u2026which eventually leads to divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Heterosexual couples may be more prone to regular flooding (and thus at increased risk for divorce) than homosexual couples. Studies suggest that heterosexual couples tend to fight in a \u201cfemale-demand, male-withdrawal\u201d pattern: The woman initiates a complaint, and the man (perhaps feeling flooded) disengages from the fight. This pattern doesn\u2019t hold true for homosexual couples<\/a>: Male-male couples usually don\u2019t start complaining, and female-female couples are less likely to withdraw if a complaint is made. Moreover, when partners in a homosexual couple do<\/em> get upset, they don\u2019t get as physiologically aroused as heterosexual couples<\/a>\u2014which suggests that they\u2019re less likely to become flooded. ) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Signs a Marriage Is in Trouble <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Gottman\u2019s famed accuracy in predicting whether a couple will divorce relies on his ability to determine whether their conflicts might regularly induce flooding. (Shortform note: Some researchers have questioned whether what Gottman does to predict divorce can be called \u201cprediction\u201d at all<\/a>. They argue that Gottman came up with a formula<\/em> for determining outcomes of marriages, using technology to match already known outcomes with patterns noted in research participants. Gottman has disputed this interpretation of his work on the Gottman Institute website<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gottman highlights three major warning signs a marriage is falling apart: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. The conflict<\/strong> has a jarring beginning<\/strong>, or what Gottman and Silver call a \u201charsh start-up.\u201d Instead of gently conversing with each other, the couple begins a fight in an aggressive manner\u2014which, according to studies, dooms it to end<\/em> on a sour note as well.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: If you do begin a fight aggressively, try to soothe yourself by touching physical objects in the room<\/a>. You\u2019ll get out of your head and reorient your perspective\u2014which will calm you down and may help you get out of the downward spiral that your aggressive beginning started.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. The couple engages negatively with each other<\/strong> by using what Gottman and Silver call the \u201cfour horsemen of the apocalypse.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Criticism<\/strong>. One spouse expresses dissatisfaction with their partner generally<\/em> instead of expressing dissatisfaction about a specific issue. For example, they say, \u201cYou\u2019re a slob,\u201d instead of \u201cYou didn\u2019t clean the kitchen when you said you would.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Contempt<\/strong>. One spouse expresses dissatisfaction in a way that belittles their partner and signifies a lack of respect. For example, they might say, \u201cI can\u2019t believe you forgot to clean the kitchen. Are you stupid?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Defensiveness<\/strong>. One spouse, who feels attacked by their partner, tries to protect themselves. However, this strategy backfires because it shifts responsibility onto the other<\/em> partner. For example, the spouse who didn\u2019t clean the kitchen might say, \u201cI may have forgotten to clean the kitchen, but I cleaned the bathroom, which you never do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stonewalling<\/strong>. One spouse feels overwhelmed and stops responding. (This spouse is likely feeling flooded.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. The couple doesn\u2019t respond to each other\u2019s de-escalation<\/a> attempts, which Gottman and Silver call \u201crepair attempts<\/strong>.\u201d In moments of tension, one partner may try to de-escalate the situation\u2014such as by admitting that they were partly wrong. Gottman and Silver say that not responding to these actions is the biggest warning sign that you\u2019re at risk for divorce.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Gottman\u2019s work focuses on how what spouses do<\/em> during the marriage increases their risk of divorce, but several studies suggest that external factors over which you have no control can also increase your risk of divorce<\/a>. Notably, if you\u2019re highly attractive, your parents got divorced, or you grew up areligious, you\u2019re more likely to get divorced.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

De-escalation attempts reduce your stress levels\u2014as long as you notice the attempts, you reduce the likelihood that you\u2019ll feel flooded. But if you don\u2019t<\/em> notice them, you get caught in a vicious cycle: You don\u2019t notice the de-escalation attempt because you feel flooded\u2014so your stress just keeps climbing during the argument, which makes you even less<\/em> likely to notice succeeding de-escalation attempts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In one study, Gottman found several sex differences in how men and women make and respond to de-escalation attempts<\/a>. Men (especially heterosexual men) are quicker to realize the conversation has turned sour and to make a de-escalation attempt\u2014but only if the man<\/em> is the one who originally brought up the contentious issue. But in gay male couples, if the initiator<\/em> is the one who gets upset, the partner is not as good at de-escalating the issue. It\u2019s unclear why: Fights between gay male partners tend not to induce as much flooding<\/a>, so presumably, the gay men should be better at both making and noticing de-escalation attempts.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What are the telltale signs a marriage is falling apart? How can you rescue a marriage that’s headed for divorce? The telltale sign your marriage is headed for divorce is an ongoing problem that leads to flooding. Flooding is a psychological phenomenon in which one partner feels so emotionally stressed that they\u2019re unable to respond rationally to their spouse. Here’s how flooding destroys marriages and some signs that your marriage might be in trouble.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":57823,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,12],"tags":[920],"class_list":["post-93985","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-relationships","tag-the-seven-principles-for-making-marriage-work","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nThe 3 Common Signs a Marriage Is Falling Apart - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The most telltale sign of a broken marriage is flooding. Here is how flooding kills marriages and some signs your marriage is falling apart.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The 3 Common Signs a Marriage Is Falling Apart\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The most telltale sign of a broken marriage is flooding. Here is how flooding kills marriages and some signs your marriage is falling apart.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-03-02T13:43:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-01-23T02:31:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/couple-fighting.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1112\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"695\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"The 3 Common Signs a Marriage Is Falling Apart\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-03-02T13:43:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-01-23T02:31:58+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/\"},\"wordCount\":954,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/couple-fighting.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Psychology\",\"Relationships\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/\",\"name\":\"The 3 Common Signs a Marriage Is Falling Apart - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/couple-fighting.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-03-02T13:43:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-01-23T02:31:58+00:00\",\"description\":\"The most telltale sign of a broken marriage is flooding. Here is how flooding kills marriages and some signs your marriage is falling apart.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/couple-fighting.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/couple-fighting.jpg\",\"width\":1112,\"height\":695},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The 3 Common Signs a Marriage Is Falling Apart\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"description\":\"The World's Best Book Summaries\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"width\":500,\"height\":74,\"caption\":\"Shortform Books\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\",\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Untitled-design-1.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Untitled-design-1.png\",\"caption\":\"Darya Sinusoid\"},\"description\":\"Darya\u2019s love for reading started with fantasy novels (The LOTR trilogy is still her all-time-favorite). Growing up, however, she found herself transitioning to non-fiction, psychological, and self-help books. She has a degree in Psychology and a deep passion for the subject. She likes reading research-informed books that distill the workings of the human brain\/mind\/consciousness and thinking of ways to apply the insights to her own life. Some of her favorites include Thinking, Fast and Slow, How We Decide, and The Wisdom of the Enneagram.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/darya\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The 3 Common Signs a Marriage Is Falling Apart - Shortform Books","description":"The most telltale sign of a broken marriage is flooding. Here is how flooding kills marriages and some signs your marriage is falling apart.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The 3 Common Signs a Marriage Is Falling Apart","og_description":"The most telltale sign of a broken marriage is flooding. Here is how flooding kills marriages and some signs your marriage is falling apart.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/","og_site_name":"Shortform Books","article_published_time":"2023-03-02T13:43:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2026-01-23T02:31:58+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1112,"height":695,"url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/couple-fighting.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Darya Sinusoid","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Darya Sinusoid","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/"},"author":{"name":"Darya Sinusoid","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46"},"headline":"The 3 Common Signs a Marriage Is Falling Apart","datePublished":"2023-03-02T13:43:00+00:00","dateModified":"2026-01-23T02:31:58+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/"},"wordCount":954,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/couple-fighting.jpg","keywords":["The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work"],"articleSection":["Psychology","Relationships"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/","name":"The 3 Common Signs a Marriage Is Falling Apart - Shortform Books","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/couple-fighting.jpg","datePublished":"2023-03-02T13:43:00+00:00","dateModified":"2026-01-23T02:31:58+00:00","description":"The most telltale sign of a broken marriage is flooding. Here is how flooding kills marriages and some signs your marriage is falling apart.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/couple-fighting.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/couple-fighting.jpg","width":1112,"height":695},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/signs-marriage-is-falling-apart\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The 3 Common Signs a Marriage Is Falling Apart"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","name":"Shortform Books","description":"The World's Best Book Summaries","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization","name":"Shortform Books","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","width":500,"height":74,"caption":"Shortform Books"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46","name":"Darya Sinusoid","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Untitled-design-1.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Untitled-design-1.png","caption":"Darya Sinusoid"},"description":"Darya\u2019s love for reading started with fantasy novels (The LOTR trilogy is still her all-time-favorite). Growing up, however, she found herself transitioning to non-fiction, psychological, and self-help books. She has a degree in Psychology and a deep passion for the subject. She likes reading research-informed books that distill the workings of the human brain\/mind\/consciousness and thinking of ways to apply the insights to her own life. Some of her favorites include Thinking, Fast and Slow, How We Decide, and The Wisdom of the Enneagram.","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/darya\/"}]}},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/couple-fighting.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93985","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=93985"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93985\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":147945,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93985\/revisions\/147945"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/57823"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=93985"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=93985"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=93985"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}