{"id":93931,"date":"2023-03-03T17:03:00","date_gmt":"2023-03-03T21:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=93931"},"modified":"2023-03-08T14:26:53","modified_gmt":"2023-03-08T18:26:53","slug":"dealing-with-difficult-emotions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dealing-with-difficult-emotions\/","title":{"rendered":"Dealing With Difficult Emotions: Tips From Ryan A. Bush"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you feel like you don&#8217;t have control over your emotions? How can you prevent negative emotions from poisoning your mind?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Many people live at the mercy of their emotions, so when <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-deal-with-difficult-emotions\/\">difficult emotions<\/a> arise, they succumb to them without question. But it doesn&#8217;t have to be this way: You have the power to change your emotional responses and prevent undesirable emotions from triggering. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With this in mind, here are some tips for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-process-emotions-2\/\">dealing with difficult emotions<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-change-your-emotional-responses\"><strong>How to Change Your Emotional Responses<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Bush states that <strong>you can change your emotional responses by reevaluating how you think about situations that cause difficult emotions.<\/strong> Start by keeping a log of every undesirable emotion you experience. As you name each emotion, also write down the situation that triggered it and any thoughts you had before you felt it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In addition to logging your emotions and their triggers, consider <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/how-healing-works\/201811\/15-journaling-exercises-help-you-heal-grow-and-thrive#:~:text=the%20heart%20of%20it.%20You%20can%20also%20write,There%E2%80%99s%20a%20relationship%20between%20our\">writing down your physical experiences of different feelings.<\/a> Emotions don\u2019t just happen in your mind\u2014<a href=\"https:\/\/psychcentral.com\/blog\/emotions-are-physical#examples\">they prompt physiological responses<\/a> in your cardiovascular, neuroendocrine, skeletomuscular, and autonomic nervous systems. For example, you might feel hot and flushed when you\u2019re angry, or you might feel nauseated and weak when you\u2019re anxious. Logging when these physical sensations occur can help you pinpoint connections between feelings and events, and they can indicate how strong a feeling is.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Over time, Bush notes, you\u2019ll start to see patterns in the kinds of situations and lines of reasoning that lead to negative emotions: For instance, maybe almost every time you feel sadness, the emotion is preceded by self-deprecating thoughts. Once you\u2019ve identified some of your patterns, you can start to rewrite them. Analyze the faulty thoughts and beliefs that lead to each undesirable emotion and come up with rebuttals for them. With this practice, you\u2019ll get better at dealing with difficult emotions over time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Replacing <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/negative-thinking-patterns\/\">Negative Thought Patterns<\/a> vs. Ignoring Negative <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-break-negative-thought-patterns\/\">Thought Patterns<\/a><\/strong><br><br>As Bush argues, redirecting negative thought patterns and replacing them with positive ones can help you overcome emotions that don\u2019t serve you. Some people might confuse this with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.verywellmind.com\/how-to-change-negative-thinking-3024843#:~:text=Avoid%20Thought%20Stopping\">thought stopping<\/a>\u2014actively watching for and banishing negative thoughts\u2014but there\u2019s an important distinction between these two practices.&nbsp;<br><br>While challenging and redirecting negative thoughts <em>acknowledges<\/em> the negative thoughts and helps you identify alternative perspectives, thought stopping is when you attempt to <em>ignore<\/em> negative thought patterns entirely. This doesn\u2019t work\u2014when you suppress a thought instead of addressing it, it\u2019ll most likely resurface even stronger, along with all of its accompanying emotions. Instead of ignoring your negative thought patterns, approach them mindfully by recognizing them without judging them.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-faulty-reasoning-example-your-friend-cancels-on-you\"><strong>Faulty Reasoning Example: Your Friend Cancels on You<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s examine an example of how to deal with destructive emotions that are based on faulty reasoning. Say you have plans to go out with your friend, but they cancel at the last minute. They apologize and say that they\u2019re just <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/always-busy\/\">too busy<\/a> at work, and you say it\u2019s not a problem. Still, you\u2019re left feeling frustrated and a little anxious. Instead of letting these unpleasant emotions inform your next interaction with your friend, you take a moment to understand where the feelings are coming from.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Right when you got your friend\u2019s text, you had the thought, \u201cIf they\u2019re canceling this late, they must be avoiding me because they\u2019re upset with me.\u201d You tried to think of anything you could have done to offend them, and when you couldn\u2019t come up with anything, you felt frustrated with them and defensive. You also felt anxious because you don\u2019t want to be in conflict with them.&nbsp;To get rid of these unproductive emotions, you find a rebuttal for your faulty thought patterns: Your friend has shown no other signs of being upset with you, and they previously told you how busy they\u2019ve been at work long before they canceled. They were also adamant about rescheduling your get-together. This rebuttal soothes your anxiety and frustration\u2014you realize that you don\u2019t have to feel defensive <em>or<\/em> insecure because your friend\u2019s choice is unrelated to your relationship with them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you feel like you don&#8217;t have control over your emotions? How can you prevent negative emotions from poisoning your mind? Many people live at the mercy of their emotions, so when difficult emotions arise, they succumb to them without question. But it doesn&#8217;t have to be this way: You have the power to change your emotional responses and prevent undesirable emotions from triggering. With this in mind, here are some tips for dealing with difficult emotions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":79792,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[919],"class_list":["post-93931","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-designing-the-mind","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Dealing With Difficult Emotions: Tips From Ryan A. Bush - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you feel like you don&#039;t have control over your emotions? 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