Is your heart open to everyone around you? How can you be supportive of your partner and even strangers?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mutual support is the foundation of all healthy relationships<\/a>. By showing you\u2019ll be there for someone through life\u2019s toughest obstacles, you\u2019ve proven that you\u2019re a trusted and supportive ally for anyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s how to be supportive of the people you know and strangers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Relationships are built on the understanding that partners will love and support each other through thick and thin. If you want to show your partner you\u2019ll be there for them, you have to make the effort and give them what they need in moments of crisis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Learn how to be a supportive partner<\/a> in a relationship by avoiding unsolicited advice and determining your partner\u2019s love language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When your partner has a problem, it\u2019s important to give them what they want, not what you think they want. Sometimes, what they don\u2019t want is unsolicited advice, so it\u2019s important to know the best way to walk them through the issue and not make matters worse. John Gray\u2019s book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus<\/em><\/a> advises men and women on how to be supportive of their partners in the most suitable way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The most common complaint among women in relationships is that men don\u2019t listen.<\/strong> Sometimes a man will completely ignore a woman when she speaks. Sometimes he checks out after listening for a short time. In either case, a man\u2019s intention is usually to stop listening and start trying to find a solution that will make the woman feel better. He wants to be Mr. Fix-It<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The most common complaint among men in relationships<\/a> is that women try to change men\u2019s behavior<\/strong>. Sometimes, a woman will try to help a man by improving the way he does something. Often, she offers these suggestions without being asked. The woman intends to help the man grow. She wants to be his personal Home Improvement Committee<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Unfortunately, because of the natural differences between men and women, Mr. Fix-It and the Home Improvement Committee often lead to conflict in relationships. The best way to avoid these conflicts is for men to learn to listen, and for women to learn to keep their advice to themselves until a better time.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the best ways to be supportive of your partner is to show that you know what their love language is. Gary Chapman\u2019s The 5 Love Languages<\/em><\/a> gives ways to communicate love and make your partner feel important in the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The 5 Love Languages<\/a> are words of affirmation<\/a>, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service<\/a>, and physical touch. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Determining your partner\u2019s language is not always easy. There are a few clues that might help you understand your partner\u2019s language better so you can support them with their desired method of love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Think about what your partner desires most from you or the ways they feel most loved.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Think about what makes them feel hurt or unloved.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Think about how they show love to you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Consider speaking in one language for a week to see how your partner reacts. The bigger the reaction, the more likely they speak that language. When you finally hit the right language, they\u2019ll be overwhelmed with joy as it shows you\u2019ve been paying attention<\/a> to the small details<\/a> in your relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n True friendships are few and far between, and they require consistent effort to stay strong. Learning how to be there when your friend needs you the most cultivates mutual respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Check out how to be a supportive friend by practicing generosity and making an effort to stay in touch, according to The Happiness Project<\/em><\/a> by Gretchen Rubin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A long-lasting friendship<\/a> is something you should value. To keep it going, you need to show support by being generous to your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you\u2019re generous toward your friends and offer them support, it often gives you just as much happiness as it gives them\u2014when you do good, you feel good. The most simple and accessible way to be more generous toward your friends is to practice your <\/strong>generosity of spirit.<\/em><\/strong> <\/em>There are four significant ways to do this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n By making an effort to stay in touch and follow through with plans, your friends will know that you\u2019re somebody they can rely on when times are tough. Even if your friend is in a situation that you don\u2019t know how to handle emotionally (i.e. the death of a loved one<\/a> or losing a job), showing that you\u2019re there as a shoulder to cry on goes a long way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maintaining friendships<\/a> takes a lot of work, and this work can easily get lost in your busy everyday life. Take the initiative in your friendships to be the one who makes an effort to stay in touch<\/em> and follow through with plans. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Parenting is not an easy job and it gets harder when children begin to develop their own ideas and communicate their feelings. Whether you\u2019re a parent to a toddler or a teenager, here\u2019s how to be supportive through all their endeavors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the past, many parenting experts advocated for authoritarian parenting\u2014full of rules and discipline but not much emotional support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In authoritative parenting, described in Angela Duckworth\u2019s book Grit<\/em><\/a>, parents have high standards and expectations for their children but also offer loving support. It\u2019s neither overly strict nor indulgent. It makes children feel that even when their parents are demanding, they have their best interests in mind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Authoritative parenting also produces kids who get higher grades, are more self-reliant, and experience less anxiety and depression<\/a> because they feel loved and encouraged by their parents. This is generally true across ethnicity, social class, and marital status.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Duckworth notes that parenting styles are communicated through specific messages to children. If you regularly convey the following supportive messages, you\u2019re likely parenting wisely:<\/p>\n\n\n\n In contrast, these kinds of statements indicate you\u2019re not parenting wisely:<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s important to be careful with how you communicate your love to your children. Duckworth advises that the best way to learn how to be supportive of your children is to let them freely make their own choices and mistakes but to be there to guide them if things go wrong. This way, children will feel supported unconditionally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your child wants to feel accepted by you, no matter the condition. Regardless of how you express love, you need to show your child that you will support them unconditionally. This doesn\u2019t mean that you see everything your child does as perfect\u2014but it does mean that no matter what they do, your highest priority should always be creating an emotionally safe<\/a> environment. Body language<\/a>, facial expressions, and gestures are key here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In Unconditional Parenting<\/em><\/a>, Alfie Kohn points out that parents who are good at communicating unconditional love and acceptance in normal circumstances often fall down in situations of conflict, where it\u2019s more<\/em> important, not less, to make the child feel emotionally safe<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As Kohn notes, body language is crucial when talking to children, especially when discussing behavior you\u2019d like them to change. One aspect of body language is touch, which reduces kids\u2019 cortisol levels<\/a> and calms anxious children<\/a>. You could try holding hands with your child during or after difficult conversations, which has been shown to improve communication and positive feelings in conflicts between adults<\/a> (it hasn\u2019t been tested yet with children).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead of time-outs, Montessori-influenced educators recommend \u201ctime-ins<\/a>.\u201d To do a time-in, remove the child from the stressful situation and take him to a quiet place. Comfort him while he expresses his anger or frustration, help him put words to his emotions, and offer some techniques for managing the emotions (for example, taking deep breaths together). Then let the child choose whether or not he goes back into the situation. Janet Lansbury points out that this technique teaches the child that his parents are on his team<\/a> and that they\u2019re there to help rather than judge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Finally, there are ways you can be a supportive ally to those who are part of marginalized groups. These groups could include people of color, the LGBTQ+ community, individuals with disabilities, and more. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Many people who belong to these groups face discrimination and are plagued with offensive stereotypes. There are ways you can be supportive of those who are underrepresented by showing compassion and fighting back against prejudiced policies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Possibly the easiest way to be supportive of marginalized groups is to show compassion for them, according to Tara Brach in her book Radical Acceptance<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Compassion grows in circles.<\/strong> For example, we might start by finding compassion for our closest friends and family. From there, we could expand our compassion to include people we see but may not know very well: Our friends\u2019 parents, for example, or the people we regularly see at the gym or in classes. In embracing compassion, we might start to recognize how many people around us suffer from the same fears, insecurities, and pain that we do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another step is extending your awareness and compassion without limit\u2014caring for everyone who\u2019s suffering anywhere in the world, everyone who feels alone and afraid. This kind of awareness and compassion helps us as well; it reminds us that there\u2019s nothing wrong with us when we feel hurt or scared; it\u2019s simply part of being human.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Compassion and support for others often begins with the question \u201cwhat do they need?\u201d<\/strong> Asking this question\u2014both to ourselves and others\u2014helps to get us away from our own needs and to act from a place of true compassion. For example, perhaps all someone needs at a given moment is to be heard and understood. Someone who wants to be seen as helpful and competent might listen to that person, but then offer advice where it\u2019s not wanted. Even if her intentions are good, she\u2019s acting based on her needs rather than the other person\u2019s. <\/p>\n\n\n\n However, compassion can go beyond just understanding another person\u2019s needs. Imagining yourself in another person\u2019s shoes is the very heart of compassion\u2014what would it be like to inhabit that person\u2019s mind and body, to exist in his or her circumstances? <\/p>\n\n\n\nHow to Be a Supportive Romantic Partner<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Avoid Giving Unsolicited Advice<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Determine Your Partner\u2019s Love Language<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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How to Be a Supportive Friend<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Practice Generosity of Spirit<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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Make an Effort<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How to Be a Supportive Parent<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Implement Authoritative Parenting<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Parenting Comes Through Messages<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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Communicate Unconditional Acceptance<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
The Hand-Holding and \u201cTime-In\u201d Techniques <\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
How to Be a Supportive Ally<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Show Compassion<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Start Supporting Inclusive Policies<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n