{"id":92395,"date":"2023-02-15T16:22:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-15T20:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=92395"},"modified":"2026-01-21T14:08:47","modified_gmt":"2026-01-21T18:08:47","slug":"good-work-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/good-work-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Build Good Work Relationships: A Step-by-Step Guide"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Why is building good <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/career-relationships\/\">work relationships<\/a> important? How can you work better with other employees?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Building solid <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-improve-work-relationships\/\">relationships at work<\/a> makes your job much easier and more enjoyable. When you develop your professional relationships, you build a system of trust and respect that will benefit you in your career.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Develop good work relationships by following these six steps below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-quit-the-gossip\"><strong>1. Quit the Gossip<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re looking to build good work relationships with coworkers, the first thing you need to do is stop gossiping, or avoid it if you haven\u2019t given into it already. <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-magic-of-thinking-big\/preview\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Magic of Thinking Big<\/em><\/a> by David J. Schwartz has advice on how to quit the gossip, and why this action is essential for healthy work relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Gossip, or negative discussion about people, is like food poisoning. If a restaurant causes just a few cases of food poisoning, word will get out, and people will stay well away. Similarly, gossip is \u201cthought poisoning.\u201d It wastes your time on petty, negative things about other people. It misrepresents people with misleading hearsay. It makes you feel guilty when you see the person you\u2019re gossiping about. Gossip makes you a small thinker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Anyone can gossip and it can be disguised as productive talk. \u201cHe only got the promotion because of politics.\u201d \u201cI found out something juicy about the new manager.\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t tell anybody, but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Even worse, if you gossip, successful, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/positive-personality\/\">positive people<\/a> will start viewing <em>you<\/em> as \u201cpoison.\u201d Gossip gives off an unlikable and unreliable air that will repel the very people you want to attract on your journey to success. If you ever have trouble at work, but you have a reputation for gossiping, people will be less inclined to help you because you may have insulted them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>An analogy: Taking an axe to your neighbor\u2019s furniture doesn\u2019t make <em>your<\/em> furniture any nicer. So chopping down your coworker with the verbal axe of gossip doesn\u2019t make you look any better\u2014it only destroys your character. On the other hand, speaking about others with positivity presents a first-class view of you as a quality, positive individual.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Also, don&#8217;t be around people who gossip. They\u2019re small thinkers who will infect you with poison. And when you do talk about people, keep it positive. Spreading positivity and kind words will help you in the long run when you need advice or assistance from others on the job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-practice-active-listening-and-effective-communication\"><strong>2. Practice Active Listening and Effective Communication<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The second thing you can do to build good work relationships is to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-listen-actively\/\">practice active listening<\/a> and effectively communicate with your team. This shows people at your work that you\u2019re engaged with what they have to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Active listening is an important skill to facilitate effective communication and ingratiate yourself with others. Active listening requires more than merely listening to someone. According to Jack Canfield in <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-success-principles\/preview\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Success Principles<\/em><\/a>, active listening includes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Observing <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/body-language-crucial-conversations\/\">body language<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Showing your attention with your own body language, such as making eye contact, nodding, or facing the person<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Considering the underlying message of what\u2019s being said<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Asking clarifying questions<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The main way people fall short of these techniques is by focusing on speaking rather than listening. <\/strong>If you\u2019re focused on talking to show your intelligence or knowledge, you may fail to listen to what people around you are saying. For example, this could happen if you\u2019re thinking about something that you\u2019d like to say instead of listening, or if you\u2019re mentally arguing with what the person is saying instead of thinking about <em>why<\/em> they\u2019re saying it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To develop your active listening skills, be curious and show your interest in your coworkers by asking questions. The benefits of active listening include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Understanding people on a deeper level.<\/strong> Asking questions helps you learn about people\u2019s dreams and fears.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-is-trust-earned\/\">Building trust<\/a>. <\/strong>Showing an interest in people\u2019s lives and providing the space to share it creates trust.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Gaining popularity. <\/strong>People tend to like those who take an interest in them. Doing so will increase your popularity.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Reducing your stress. <\/strong>When you focus more on others\u2019 interests, you think about your own troubles less, which can reduce stress.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>To start a good work relationship or strengthen an existing one, ask these four questions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>In three years, what will you need to have done to feel happy?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What risks or dangers will you face in the process of achieving that?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What are the most promising opportunities at your disposal to achieve it?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>To seize those opportunities, what existing skills and strengths can you use? What skills will you have to develop?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Try writing the questions down and carrying them with you so you can use them. Consider using them with other coworkers to get to know them better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-communication-between-employees-and-managers\"><strong>Communication Between Employees and Managers<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Employees aren\u2019t the only ones who should be working on their communication skills. Work relationships are all built on collaboration, so a manager\u2019s main job should be maintaining effective communication. This is especially effective for managers trying to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-build-an-effective-team\/\">build a successful team<\/a>, but employees can also encourage communication with managers at work.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Kim Scott\u2019s book <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/radical-candor\/preview\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Radical Candor<\/em><\/a>, the main way managers and employees produce good work relationships through communication is in one-on-one meetings where they can discuss ideas, progress, and share feedback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-one-on-one-meetings\"><strong>One-on-One Meetings<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>In one-on-one meetings, managers should demonstrate personal care by getting to know employees better, figuring out what\u2019s going well and what\u2019s not, and helping clarify their ideas. For these meetings, the employee should set the agenda, so they have the opportunity to discuss what\u2019s really important to them.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are several ways to help guide these conversations in a productive direction:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Managers can lay out basic guidelines\u2014for example, would you prefer that your employee come with a structured agenda, or are you more interested in having a \u201cwhat\u2019s on your mind\u201d chat? If you\u2019d like them to write up their agenda in a shared document that you can both look at, let them know.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Managers should be ready with questions that reveal the gaps between what the employee <em>is<\/em> doing, <em>thinks<\/em> she should be doing, and <em>wants<\/em> to do. Some helpful questions include, \u201cIs there something you\u2019re <em>not <\/em>working on that you\u2019d like to? Why not?\u201d or \u201cWhat can I do to help you do more work that you <em>want<\/em> to do?\u201d\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Managers should help employees clarify their ideas for debate by demonstrating how their audience will experience the idea. This might look like, \u201cI don\u2019t think the engineers on the team will understand this choice. Can you explain it again, in a way that might be clearer for them?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>These meetings create vital conversations\u2014both for getting to know employees and for refining ideas for the next steps of collaboration\u2014so managers and employees should <em>not<\/em> think of them as low-priority and reschedulable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-4-show-gratitude\"><strong>4. Show Gratitude<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>There is no greater way to build good work relationships than with gratitude. When people are working as a team, they need to know they\u2019re appreciated for their hard work. Sometimes, just saying \u201cthank you\u201d is enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-power\/preview\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Power<\/em><\/a> by Rhonda Byrne says that the key to gratitude is to focus on what you\u2019re grateful for and think of all the reasons why. Say them in your mind. Say them out loud to the coworker you are grateful for. Even if they\u2019re not with you physically, talk to them as if they are.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The gratitude you show, even for the tiniest things, adds up to equal a lot of respect. <strong>Show respect through gratitude, and receive more to be grateful about.<\/strong> As you continue to show gratitude to people at work, the cycle continues and your relationships will improve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are three ways to use gratitude to give respect and receive what you want back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Show gratitude for what you\u2019ve been given in the past.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Show gratitude for what you have in your life now.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Show gratitude for what you will receive in the future.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Say thank you for the things your coworkers have done for you and thank them for the work they\u2019ll do for you in the future. Show gratitude as though you\u2019ve already received the help you want, and the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manifesting-money-the-secret\/\">law of attraction<\/a> (the philosophy that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-have-a-positive-mindset\/\">positive thoughts<\/a> will bring positive results) will respond in kind.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-5-offer-assistance-when-needed\"><strong>5. Offer Assistance When Needed<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019ve shown your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-appreciate-people\/\">gratitude for people<\/a> who have lent a helping hand whenever you needed it, so now it\u2019s time you repay the favor.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Offering help isn\u2019t just about doing some paperwork when your coworker\u2019s desk looks full. It\u2019s also about being supportive of them through tough times. If you notice your coworker has been absent for a couple of days, offer to cover their shifts if it fits your schedule. If they look like they\u2019re having a rough day, ask what can be done to make their day easier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the case that someone comes to you with a question or a problem, you might feel inclined to find the solution for them. This may seem like the most efficient way to address a problem, but your good intentions may create a toxic environment: You breed resentment among your team members when you step in instead of trusting them to find solutions, prevent team members from learning and growing, and needlessly add more to your workload.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Instead, <\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-coaching-habit\/preview\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong><em>The Coaching Habit<\/em><\/strong><\/a><strong> by Michael Bungay Stanier suggests breaking this unhealthy cycle with this essential question: \u201cHow can I support you?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This question trains team members to find solutions by themselves. It also increases your coworkers\u2019 respect for you. One study found that doctors who asked patients <em>general support <\/em>questions such as, \u201cHow can I support you?\u201d got more detailed responses from their patients and received higher evaluation scores, compared with doctors who asked <em>verifying<\/em> questions such as, \u201cSo you\u2019re having stomach problems?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>In the workplace, think about how your coworkers\u2019 responses would vary if you asked them how they\u2019d like support instead of narrowing the scope of what they\u2019re allowed to ask for by saying, \u201cSo you need help with your next pitch?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Guide them and show support so that they can find the answer themselves. Likely, they\u2019ll come across this problem again and they would feel better if they didn\u2019t need assistance next time they have an issue. This will help establish you as a reliable person to work with, and not one who ignores their coworker\u2019s plea for help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-6-set-boundaries-nbsp\"><strong>6. Set Boundaries&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Being kind and helpful is always important at work, but you don\u2019t want to be a pushover. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/hub\/personal-life\/relationships\/personal\/how-to-set-healthy-boundaries\/\">Setting boundaries<\/a> and learning <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/when-to-say-no\/\">when to say no<\/a> will help create good work relationships because you\u2019ll learn to respect each other\u2019s space and comfort level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>According to Greg McKeown in <\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/essentialism\/preview\" rel=\"nofollow\"><strong><em>Essentialism<\/em><\/strong><\/a><strong>, boundaries have virtually disappeared in modern work culture<\/strong>. Technology and interconnectedness have erased the line between work and personal life and work has flowed into personal time. You\u2019re expected to be available to work at all times, especially for those who work from home or rely on email for constant communication. Meanwhile, others also make demands on your personal time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Setting boundaries is part of the process of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/saying-no\/\">saying no<\/a> so you can pursue your highest contribution. It\u2019s uncomfortable to set boundaries for work and you can feel like you\u2019re paying a high price for doing so (for instance, offending a coworker). But often, in the long run, you\u2019ll garner respect from your coworkers by focusing your limited energy on what\u2019s really important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The price for not pushing back is that demands will keep encroaching to the point that you won\u2019t have any boundaries at all<\/strong>\u2014and others will set your agenda. The trade-off is that you lose good work relationships because you\u2019ll get frustrated at other people interfering during your personal time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-push-back-against-people-who-ignore-your-boundaries\"><strong>Push Back Against People Who Ignore Your Boundaries<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Still, some people simply don\u2019t recognize boundaries and constantly make demands on your time. Think about how often your weekends are consumed by someone else\u2019s agenda. People who lack boundaries distract you from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/your-life-purpose\/\">your purpose<\/a> and make their problems your problems. Here are some guidelines for dealing with these kinds of people to form good work relationships, not unhealthy ones:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Don\u2019t accept someone else\u2019s problem<\/strong>. There\u2019s nothing wrong with helping someone else on occasion, but some people want more than that: they want you to do their work or solve their problems for them. When you do it, you\u2019re enabling them by taking from them their ability to solve it. At work, people often try to shift their problems to you. For instance, a colleague may request your input on a proposal she hasn\u2019t made any effort to develop. You could refuse or agree to look at it later when she\u2019s fleshed it out. Forcing her to solve her own problem benefits both of you. Of course, setting and publicizing your boundaries ahead of time will prevent this kind of situation.\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Have a plan for handling repeat offenders<\/strong>. When there\u2019s a person who repeatedly distracts you, prepare how you will deflect him in advance. Make a list of the types of requests and activities from him that you\u2019ll refuse unless they align with your agenda. Do this for all of your repeat offenders. To identify people who regularly impose on you, write down any times when you feel resentful or taken advantage of by someone.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Create an agreement<\/strong>. If you\u2019re going to be working or interacting with someone who violates or lacks boundaries, draw up a social contract. For instance, if you\u2019re tasked to work with an incompatible colleague, establish upfront what you\u2019re trying to achieve, what\u2019s important to each of you, and what you will and won\u2019t do. This will keep you from wasting each other&#8217;s time.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>With practice, setting and enforcing your limits will become increasingly easier and you\u2019ll form good work relationships that are healthy and balanced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-final-words\"><strong>Final Words<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Now that you know how to develop professional relationships, talking to your coworkers won\u2019t feel so awkward. It may take time and patience to build a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/foundation-of-trust\/\">foundation of trust<\/a> and respect, but breaking down barriers is essential for a good day at work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Do you have any tips for building good work relationships? Let us know your experience in the comments below!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why is building good work relationships important? How can you work better with other employees? Building solid relationships at work makes your job much easier and more enjoyable. When you develop your professional relationships, you build a system of trust and respect that will benefit you in your career. Develop good work relationships by following these six steps below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":46901,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,30],"tags":[452],"class_list":["post-92395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-work","tag-guides","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Build Good Work Relationships: A Step-by-Step Guide - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"One way to be engaged at your job is to have good relationships with your coworkers. 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