{"id":92306,"date":"2023-02-26T11:22:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-26T15:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=92306"},"modified":"2023-03-01T12:13:42","modified_gmt":"2023-03-01T16:13:42","slug":"how-do-childhood-experiences-affect-adulthood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-do-childhood-experiences-affect-adulthood\/","title":{"rendered":"How Do Childhood Experiences Affect Adulthood?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

How do childhood experiences affect adulthood? Can childhood trauma cause permanent damage?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Louise Hay, the author of You Can Heal Your Life<\/em>, all of the problems in our lives are the result of negative experiences we had in childhood. Specifically, the negative beliefs we internalized as children create negative experiences in our adulthood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading to learn about the psychological effects of childhood. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Negative Childhood Experiences Create Negative Beliefs<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Hay says that when we\u2019re children, we mirror the thoughts of the adults around us<\/strong>. For example, if your parents told you that you were stupid when you were a kid, you\u2019re likely to believe that you\u2019re stupid later in life\u2014and to talk to yourself in the same shaming way that your parents once talked to you. (If, on the other hand, they praised you and constantly reminded you how much they loved you, you\u2019re likely to love yourself when you\u2019re older.) Similarly, if your parents were cruel to each other or to you, you learn to relate to others with cruelty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Negative Beliefs Create Negative Adult Experiences<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Hay asserts that once our belief systems<\/a> are formed in childhood, we spend our lives \u201ccreating\u201d experiences that mirror those beliefs<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How exactly does this happen? How do childhood experiences affect adulthood? Hay claims that the belief systems we learned as children act as a type of filter through which we view the world, causing us to accept as \u201ctrue\u201d only the experiences or information that confirm our existing, subconscious beliefs. For example, if you were told as a child that you were a failure who would never amount to anything, then you\u2019ll subconsciously believe that you\u2019re a failure. Even if you go on to live a life full of career or personal successes, you\u2019ll focus on your mistakes instead\u2014and continue to see yourself as a failure. In this way, your thoughts \u201cbecome\u201d your reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not only do your subconscious beliefs affect your perspective on the world, argues Hay, but your subconscious mind<\/a> also believes everything your conscious<\/em> thoughts tell it. When you think negative thoughts<\/strong>, your subconscious believes them to be true. Hay claims that as a result, you \u201cattract\u201d negative experiences into your life<\/strong>. For example, if you spill your coffee on your way to work and think to yourself, \u201cThis is the beginning of an awful day,\u201d then your negative mindset<\/a> will cause bad things to happen to you for the rest of the day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Examples From Hay\u2019s Life<\/strong> <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Hay\u2019s own life led her to believe that all problems are rooted in negative childhood experiences. She grew up poor during the Great Depression<\/a>, with a stepfather who abused her. She was raped by a neighbor around the age of five, and was frequently told that it was her fault. She continued to experience sexual and physical abuse throughout her childhood until she ran away from home at age 15. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Hay grew older, she had many relationships with abusive men. She believes this was because of the abuse she suffered as a child, which damaged her self-esteem so much that she unconsciously thought she deserved to be mistreated. Later, as her sense of self-worth<\/a> improved and she stopped believing that she deserved abuse, she stopped dating abusive men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition to her relationship issues, Hay was diagnosed with cancer as an adult. She already believed that cancer was caused by longstanding resentment and anger (and she\u2019d written a book, Heal Your Body<\/em><\/a>, arguing that negative thoughts can cause illness). She thought her own cancer was caused by resentment toward her parents for how they\u2019d treated her when she was a child. Her childhood lacked love and her parents\u2019 criticism of her had taught her to criticize herself, so she resolved after her cancer diagnosis to change her critical thoughts and start loving herself. She did this in part by repeating positive affirmations<\/a> to herself in front of a mirror.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She also went to therapy. The therapist helped her release her anger about the abuse she\u2019d suffered as a child, and also helped her understand that her parents had hurt her because they\u2019d been hurt themselves. Understanding the ways in which her parents were damaged helped Hay have compassion for them and, ultimately, forgive them. Hay says that after only six months, by learning to love<\/a> herself and forgiving those who\u2019d hurt her, she cured herself of cancer<\/strong>. As we\u2019ll see throughout this guide, Hay credits her healing with positive thinking, forgiveness, and self-love.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Childhood Trauma and Mental and Physical Health<\/strong>

The childhood emotional, physical, and sexual abuse that Hay describes are known in modern psychological literature as trauma. Trauma research tends to support Hay\u2019s theory that childhood trauma alters our beliefs<\/strong> on a subconscious<\/em> level, which can lead to negative experiences in adulthood. However, Hay\u2019s claim that conscious<\/em> negative thoughts \u201cattract<\/strong>\u201d or \u201ccreate\u201d negative experiences\u2014and its corollary, the idea that altering your conscious thoughts is sufficient to heal your trauma\u2014is unsupported by scientific evidence.

Psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, in his best-selling book The Body Keeps the Score<\/em><\/a>, explains that traumatic experiences actually rewire the brain<\/a> to make people hypervigilant to threats<\/strong>. The slightest hint of a threat sends trauma survivors into a fight-or-flight response<\/a>, causing stress hormones to flood their bodies and keep them in a state of hyperarousal long after the threat is gone. Over time, these high levels of chronic stress<\/a> can cause mental and physical ailments and hamper trauma survivors\u2019 ability to function emotionally and socially.

Thus, in some respects, Hay\u2019s theory that negative childhood experiences lead to negative life experiences bears a resemblance to more recent theories of trauma. Trauma changes the way the brain works on a subconscious<\/em> level, causing adults who have experienced childhood trauma, as Hay did, to struggle to take control of their lives, have functioning relationships, and stay mentally and physically healthy<\/strong>. However, this same research tells us that trauma rewires survivors\u2019 brains in such a way that many actions are beyond their conscious<\/em> control, which contradicts Hay\u2019s assertion that positive self-talk<\/a> can change the way they see the world.  <\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How do childhood experiences affect adulthood? Can childhood trauma cause permanent damage? According to Louise Hay, the author of You Can Heal Your Life, all of the problems in our lives are the result of negative experiences we had in childhood. Specifically, the negative beliefs we internalized as children create negative experiences in our adulthood. Keep reading to learn about the psychological effects of childhood.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":77442,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,9],"tags":[904],"class_list":["post-92306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-psychology","tag-you-can-heal-your-life","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow Do Childhood Experiences Affect Adulthood? - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"According to Louise Hay, all of the problems in our lives stem from negative childhood experiences. 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