{"id":92187,"date":"2023-02-14T11:39:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-14T15:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=92187"},"modified":"2023-02-17T15:31:04","modified_gmt":"2023-02-17T19:31:04","slug":"accept-compliments","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accept-compliments\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Accept Compliments and Praise as a Woman"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you have trouble <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-take-a-compliment\/\">accepting compliments<\/a>? Are you uncomfortable with receiving praise?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Women are often taught to not accept praise because we&#8217;re meant to make excuses for our achievements in American society. But in Shonda Rhimes&#8217;s book <em>Year of Yes<\/em>, she wants to subvert this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learn how to happily accept compliments as a woman below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-accept-praise-and-compliments\"><strong>Accept Praise and Compliments<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>During an award ceremony for women leaders in entertainment, Rhimes realized how uncomfortable she was receiving praise. She further realized that this reaction is common for women: Even powerful women like herself can\u2019t easily accept compliments and praise because women are taught to make excuses for their gifts and successes in American society instead of gladly taking credit for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: The cause of women\u2019s difficulty in accepting praise for their accomplishments is explained by Sheryl Sandberg in <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/lean-in\"><em>Lean In<\/em><\/a> as being an issue of women\u2019s <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/likeability-charisma-charm-influence\/\">likeability<\/a>. <\/em>When women accept praise, they are acknowledging their success, and studies show that <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/lean-in\/chapter-3#the-more-successful-a-woman-is-the-less-likeable-she-is\">the more successful a woman seems to be, the less people like her<\/a>. Successful women are seen as aggressive and unfeminine. Because being liked is a key factor in leadership, successful women learn to downplay their accomplishments to be more liked by the people around them.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rhimes decided to practice accepting praise without apologizing or explaining her accomplishments and gifts away. She learned that accepting compliments is a gift she can give herself <em>and<\/em> the person giving the compliment\u2014it felt great to absorb other people\u2019s positive feedback, and it made her feel more connected to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Researchers have shown that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/giving-and-receiving\/\">giving and receiving<\/a> compliments does in fact make most of us feel more uplifted and connected to others, as it did for Rhimes. They found that, in general, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/your-future-self\/202105\/why-you-should-give-more-compliments#:~:text=guess%20how%20someone%20would%20react%20to,actual%20people%20doing%20the%20complimenting\">we enjoy receiving compliments from strangers and we feel good when we give them to people as well<\/a>. But many of us refrain from complimenting others because we misjudge how they will feel if we do, and we underestimate the positive impact that our words of appreciation can have. Additionally, many of us feel uncertain about our ability to compliment someone well. In reality, research shows that if you step outside of your comfort zone to compliment someone, it will likely have a more positive impact than you might imagine, both for them and for yourself.) &nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Key Takeaways<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Practice accepting praise as Rhimes did\u2014when someone acknowledges your accomplishments or gifts, just smile, thank them, and then say nothing else.<\/strong> With practice, accepting people\u2019s praise will become easier. Rhimes initially found it awkward, but eventually it became her natural response.&nbsp;<strong>Accepting compliments is an act of kindness for you and others.<\/strong> When you don\u2019t accept them, even if you do so nicely, you\u2019re telling the other person that they\u2019re wrong and shouldn\u2019t have wasted their time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Not All Compliments Are Acceptable<\/strong><br><br>Rhimes\u2019s recommendation to accept compliments (for the positivity it can bring for both you and the other person) applies well when praise is related to your accomplishments. But compliments, especially ones directed at women, are often about people\u2019s bodies and appearances and <a href=\"https:\/\/goodmenproject.com\/ethics-values\/know-the-difference-between-compliments-vs-harassment-in-the-workplace-bbab\/\">can be unwelcomed, inappropriate, and, when taken too far, can be sexual harassment.<\/a> A common tactic people use to avoid being accused of sexual harassment is to say they were <a href=\"https:\/\/www.vogue.com\/article\/the-worst-excuses-for-sexual-harassment-and-assault\">\u201ccomplimenting\u201d as an excuse for their harmful behavior.<\/a> In these cases, women should not feel obligated to smile or to thank the other person to make them feel happy about making this kind of comment.<br><br>Unfortunately, there are no hard and fast rules when distinguishing inappropriate compliments\u2014many women are uncomfortable with compliments about their appearance, but not all. Additionally, the context of the compliment can make a difference\u2014what feels inappropriate at work may feel fun and flirty at a bar. The bottom line is if someone offers you a compliment that makes you uncomfortable, you do not have to smile and say \u201cthank you.\u201d&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you have trouble accepting compliments? Are you uncomfortable with receiving praise? Women are often taught to not accept praise because we&#8217;re meant to make excuses for our achievements in American society. But in Shonda Rhimes&#8217;s book Year of Yes, she wants to subvert this. Learn how to happily accept compliments as a woman below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":19003,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43,24],"tags":[899],"class_list":["post-92187","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-improvement","category-society","tag-year-of-yes","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Accept Compliments and Praise as a Woman - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Many women shudder at receiving praise, but they shouldn&#039;t be ashamed. 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