{"id":92030,"date":"2023-02-07T14:54:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-07T18:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=92030"},"modified":"2026-01-23T13:58:25","modified_gmt":"2026-01-23T17:58:25","slug":"the-fear-of-not-being-good-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-fear-of-not-being-good-enough\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Overcome the Fear of Not Being Good Enough"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you have a fear of not being good enough? How can you conquer this insecurity?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Everything Is Figureoutable<\/em>, Marie Forleo contends that there are many fears that hold people back from pursuing their goals. However, one is particularly effective and controlling: the fear of not being good enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let’s look at how to defeat the insecurities that get the better of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

How to Conquer a Fear of Not Being Good Enough<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

According to Forleo, a common fear that prevents people from pursuing their goals is the fear of not being good enough. Many people never act on their dreams because they\u2019re terrified that they\u2019re not capable of achieving them. This fear manifests itself in two ways. First, you might worry that you\u2019re not ready and try to prepare <\/em>for rather than pursue<\/em> your goals. Second, you might not pursue your goals<\/a> because you want to ensure that everything is perfect<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How Not Pursuing Your Goals Might Lower Your Self-Esteem<\/strong>

Although Forleo focuses on how a fear of not being good enough prevents you from pursuing your goals, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem<\/em><\/a> <\/em>author Nathaniel Branden warns that this fear may lower your general self-esteem. Branden contends that a belief in your own general capability to deal with life\u2019s challenges is an essential element of self-esteem<\/a>. Moreover, he asserts that if you act <\/em>as if you\u2019re capable, you improve your self-esteem<\/a>; if you act as if you\u2019re not <\/em>capable, you lower your self-esteem<\/a>. 

So if you continuously prepare for (rather than pursue) your goals or don\u2019t act because everything\u2019s not perfect yet, you\u2019ll be acting as if you\u2019re not capable of doing the work necessary to achieve your goals<\/a>, which will lower your self-esteem\u2014and may make you even less likely to pursue those goals. <\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

To combat a fear of not being ready, Forleo suggests two strategies. First, if you\u2019re paralyzed by self-doubt<\/a>, ask yourself: Will I be upset in 10 years if I don\u2019t go for this now? <\/strong>Imagining your potential future sorrow can motivate you to act today. Second, put something you value at risk<\/strong>\u2014like your finances or your reputation. Humans experience \u201closs aversion,\u201d which means we\u2019re affected more strongly by loss than by gain, and thus we prioritize not losing things over gaining things. So, for example, telling someone you\u2019ll give them $100 if you don\u2019t <\/em>work on your goal is more motivating than learning that someone will give <\/em>you $100 if you do<\/em> work on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How We Prioritize Our Present Selves<\/strong>

According to The Willpower Instinct<\/em><\/a> author Kelly McGonigal, putting something you value at risk may be more motivating than imagining your future self<\/a>. McGonigal explains that we struggle to work in the best interests of our future self<\/a> because our future self\u2019s feelings and emotions aren’t as real or as present as what we’re feeling right now. So, for example, even if you know that 10-years-in-the-future-you will love that you went to the gym daily, you\u2019re still more likely to spend your gym day on the couch because that\u2019s more immediately rewarding. 

Our tendency to prioritize our present selves may also explain why we experience \u201closs aversion,\u201d a term coined<\/a> by the authors of Thinking, Fast and Slow<\/em><\/a>. Loss aversion is an evolutionary trait<\/a> passed on from early humanity, when losing something\u2014like weapons or food\u2014was often fatal. So while prioritizing not <\/em>losing something (like $100 if you don\u2019t reach your goal) may seem like you\u2019re prioritizing your future self, it may actually be a way you prioritize your present self because your brain sees not losing $100 as essential for survival. <\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

To combat your perfectionism, Forleo suggests that you change your mindset<\/a> and prioritize <\/strong>improving at <\/em><\/strong>your skills rather than doing them perfectly<\/strong>. In other words, you must be willing to fail and to recognize that sometimes, things that feel <\/em>like failures might actually have a positive impact. This is particularly important if you’re starting out in a creative field, as you\u2019ll likely have an excellent vision that you\u2019re not able to bring to life because you’re not yet skilled enough. However, the only way you\u2019ll improve these skills is by repeatedly practicing them\u2014which necessitates that you continue to create things, even though they don\u2019t meet your high standards. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In Steal Like an Artist<\/em><\/a>, Austin Kleon says that if you\u2019re an artist, prioritizing improvement rather than perfection can help you. Kleon explains that the only way to become an artist<\/a> is to create art. So you must be willing to do the work and start creating<\/a>. To do so, start by copying the work of your creative heroes. You\u2019ll definitely \u201cfail\u201d at doing so because your work won\u2019t measure up to theirs. However, these seeming failures actually have a positive impact: The ways that your copies differ from the original are what make you unique as an artist\u2014so leaning into them will help you discover your creative voice.)\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To illustrate the power of pursuing your goals and being willing to fail, Forleo describes the trajectory of her dance career. Initially, Forleo thought that to be a serious dancer, she had to try to go on tour with famous artists, so she auditioned for a music video. Forleo failed this audition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, Forleo now views this seeming failure as a blessing in disguise because it forced her to rethink what she really<\/em> wanted to do with her dance career. Despite her lack of experience, she pivoted to teaching dance classes\u2014a journey that ultimately led her to audition for MTV despite her fears that she wasn\u2019t prepared. Forleo passed this audition, and her MTV career gave her the broadcast experience she would eventually parlay into her successful YouTube show, MarieTV<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: If you genuinely fear you’re not good enough, you may not find Forleo\u2019s story motivating. After all, with the exception of the audition she bombed at, all the experiences Forleo describes are ones in which she succeeded despite<\/em> her fear of failing. But what if you\u2019re actually not good enough? It may help to remember that nobody is good enough at first: Researchers have found that both successful and unsuccessful people experience failure. So it\u2019s not whether<\/em> you fail that predicts success; rather, what matters is how <\/em>you respond to failure<\/a>. Successful people learn efficiently from their failures and try again quickly<\/em>\u2014the longer you wait to try again, the less likely you\u2019ll be to achieve success.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you have a fear of not being good enough? How can you conquer this insecurity? In Everything Is Figureoutable, Marie Forleo contends that there are many fears that hold people back from pursuing their goals. However, one is particularly effective and controlling: the fear of not being good enough. Let’s look at how to defeat the insecurities that get the better of you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":81380,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[897],"class_list":["post-92030","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-everything-is-figureoutable","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Overcome the Fear of Not Being Good Enough - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Insecurities are normal, but they shouldn't get in the way of achieving your goals. 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