{"id":92027,"date":"2023-02-08T14:45:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-08T18:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=92027"},"modified":"2026-04-26T16:07:08","modified_gmt":"2026-04-26T20:07:08","slug":"how-to-conquer-your-fears","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-conquer-your-fears\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Conquer Your Fears and Regain Control of Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Is your fear holding you back<\/a>? How do you conquer your fears?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everything Is Figureoutable<\/a><\/em> by Marie Forleo advises you to believe that all issues are solvable, but being afraid can get in the way of that. Forleo gives guidelines for tackling fear in general as well as four common fears: fear of pursuing your dreams, not being ready, not being good enough, and being an impostor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s how to conquer your fears<\/a> so you live your life at ease.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Understanding Fear and How to Beat It <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Before getting into how to conquer your fears, Forleo argues that while fear can be a warning sign that you\u2019re about to make a mistake, it can also be a good <\/em>thing: If you\u2019re afraid to do something, it\u2019s often a sign that you care deeply about it\u2014and so should do<\/strong> it<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To determine what exactly your fear is telling you, try this exercise: First, relax your body by taking several deep breaths. Then, ask yourself whether doing the thing that scares you makes you feel open or closed off\u2014and pay attention to how your body<\/em> reacts. If you feel enthusiastic and like a weight has been lifted, that\u2019s a good sign. If your muscles tense and you feel nauseated, consider holding off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Other experts agree that fear shows up in your body: Tension is a sign to stop and listen to the fear while openness is a sign to act anyway. Another metaphor they use to describe whether to listen to your fear is to see whether it\u2019s \u201cpushing\u201d or \u201cpulling\u201d you<\/a>. If you feel as though your fear is pushing you away<\/em> from something, like derision, then you should consider listening to it. But if you feel as though you\u2019re being pulled toward<\/em> something, then you should act on your goal<\/a>, even if fear pushes you away.) \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Assuming that your fear is a good sign, how can you push past it? Forleo recommends against waiting for your fear to dissipate because it will only fester. Instead, you must act despite <\/em>your fear\u2014which is the only way to beat it<\/strong>. In other words, you must do the thing that scares you despite being afraid. This is the only way to become braver<\/a>\u2014and the braver you become, the more willing you\u2019ll be to tackle new challenges.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One area in which the power of acting despite your fear is particularly evident is when you learn a new skill. Forleo explains that the skills you’re confident in are in your \u201ccomfort zone,\u201d or zone of safety, and the skills you don\u2019t yet have are in your \u201cgrowth zone,\u201d or zone of improvement. Initially, you\u2019ll struggle to tackle skills in your zone of improvement\u2014but as you get better at doing them, your zone of safety will expand to include these skills. The more you expand this zone of safety by learning new skills<\/a>, the more confidence you\u2019ll gain and the more willing you\u2019ll be to tackle new challenges in your zone of improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Conquer a Fear of Pursuing Your Goals<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Now that you know that acting is the key to beating your fear, what specific actions should you take to conquer your fears? If you\u2019re too intimidated to pursue your dreams, Forleo recommends that you follow a three-step process.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, name your fear<\/strong>: The less clear you are on what you\u2019re afraid of, the more intimidated you\u2019ll feel. To name your fear, imagine the worst possible outcome of pursuing your goals, and decide how likely this outcome is. Then, brainstorm how you\u2019d respond if this outcome came true. Second, imagine what would happen if you succeeded<\/strong>: List all the possible positive outcomes of pursuing your dreams. Third, review your action steps <\/strong>and either proceed as is or change them so that you\u2019re more comfortable pursuing your dream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, if your dream is to move to Los Angeles to be an actor, your worst-possible outcome might be that you discover you\u2019re terrible at acting and end up homeless. If so, you could adjust your plan and focus on building an emergency fund before moving to LA. And if you ended up homeless, you could search for shelters or find a way to contact loved ones who could help you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Conquer a Fear of Not Being Good Enough<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

According to Forleo, another common fear that prevents people from pursuing their goals is a fear of not being good enough<\/a>. Many people never act on their dreams because they\u2019re terrified that they\u2019re not capable of achieving them. This fear manifests itself in two ways. First, you might worry that you\u2019re not ready and try to prepare <\/em>for rather than pursue<\/em> your goals. Second, you might not pursue your goals<\/a> because you want to ensure that everything is perfect<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To combat a fear of not being ready, Forleo suggests two strategies. First, if you\u2019re paralyzed by self-doubt<\/a>, ask yourself: Will I be upset in 10 years if I don\u2019t go for this now? <\/strong>Imagining your potential future sorrow can motivate you to act today. Second, put something you value at risk<\/strong>\u2014like your finances or your reputation. Humans experience \u201closs aversion,\u201d which means we\u2019re affected more strongly by loss than by gain, and thus we prioritize not losing things over gaining things. So, for example, telling someone you\u2019ll give them $100 if you don\u2019t <\/em>work on your goal is more motivating than learning that someone will give <\/em>you $100 if you do<\/em> work on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To combat your perfectionism, Forleo suggests that you change your mindset<\/a> and prioritize improving at <\/em>your skills rather than doing them perfectly<\/strong>. In other words, you must be willing to fail and to recognize that sometimes, things that feel <\/em>like failures might actually have a positive impact. This is particularly important if you’re starting out in a creative field, as you\u2019ll likely have an excellent vision that you\u2019re not able to bring to life because you’re not yet skilled enough. However, the only way you\u2019ll improve these skills is by repeatedly practicing them\u2014which necessitates that you continue to create things, even though they don\u2019t meet your high standards. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To illustrate the power of pursuing your goals and being willing to fail, Forleo describes the trajectory of her dance career. Initially, Forleo thought that to be a serious dancer, she had to try to go on tour with famous artists, so she auditioned for a music video. Forleo failed this audition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, Forleo now views this seeming failure as a blessing in disguise because it forced her to rethink what she really<\/em> wanted to do with her dance career. Despite her lack of experience, she pivoted to teaching dance classes\u2014a journey that ultimately led her to audition for MTV despite her fears that she wasn\u2019t prepared. Forleo passed this audition, and her MTV career gave her the broadcast experience she would eventually parlay into her successful YouTube show, MarieTV<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Conquer a Fear of Being an Impostor<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

According to Forleo, you may still face fears as you start to succeed. This phenomenon is known as \u201cimpostor syndrome,\u201d a feeling that you\u2019re faking and will be \u201cfound out.\u201d It\u2019s particularly common among marginalized groups, who may feel less confident in their abilities\u2014especially when they have few colleagues they can relate to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Forleo shares two strategies for combating impostor syndrome. First, collect any praise you receive (like good reviews), and revisit this collection whenever you feel unworthy<\/a>. Second, call some trusted friends, tell them you\u2019re feeling negative about yourself, and ask them for support. Both tactics remind you of your accomplishments and capabilities.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Is your fear holding you back? How do you conquer your fears? Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo advises you to believe that all issues are solvable, but being afraid can get in the way of that. Forleo gives guidelines for tackling fear in general as well as four common fears: fear of pursuing your dreams, not being ready, not being good enough, and being an impostor. Here’s how to conquer your fears so you live your life at ease.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":86322,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,9,43],"tags":[897],"class_list":["post-92027","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motivation","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-everything-is-figureoutable","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Conquer Your Fears and Regain Control of Your Life - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Fear can be your biggest enemy, but it doesn't have to be. 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