{"id":91964,"date":"2023-02-04T16:27:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-04T20:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=91964"},"modified":"2023-02-10T10:50:46","modified_gmt":"2023-02-10T14:50:46","slug":"why-asking-questions-is-important","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-important\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Asking Questions Is Important (+Useful Techniques)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Why is asking questions important in communication? How can you ask better questions?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to leadership expert Michael Bungay Stanier, asking questions is important in all forms of communication because it helps you to avoid the advice-giving trap. In his book The Advice Trap<\/em>, he explains the benefits of asking questions versus the drawbacks of offering suggestions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read on to learn why asking questions is important<\/a>, including Stanier’s tips for asking better questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Importance of Asking Questions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Michael Bungay Stanier argues that when you learn to approach difficult conversations with questions instead of suggestions, you\u2019ll unlock the full potential of others and relieve yourself of unnecessary burdens. In The Advice Trap<\/em>, Stanier further explains why asking questions is important and specifies seven questions that can guide you into having productive and efficient communication with others. He also explains how questions<\/a> can guide your advice-giving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this article, we’ll explain why asking questions is important by detailing how they can help you resolve difficult conversations or reach more effective solutions, according to Stanier’s advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which Questions Are Important to Ask?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Stanier’s seven questions can be grouped into four categories, each of which will help you effectively resolve difficult situations where you might be tempted to give advice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) Understand the situation: <\/strong>Stanier says it’s important that you begin by asking questions about the other person\u2019s thoughts\u2014\u201cWhat are you thinking about?\u201d When you ask someone what\u2019s occupying their mind, you let them take the lead as they express their situation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, ask if there\u2019s anything else. This can prevent key points from slipping through the cracks, and it makes your team member feel supported and valued. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) Focus your conversation:<\/strong> Try to identify the main issue you\u2019re dealing with and what your team member\u2019s goal is. It’s important to ask a question like, \u201dWhat\u2019s the main challenge you\u2019re facing?\u201d because it allows you to eliminate distracting problems and focus on solving the real obstacle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, ask your team member what they want to accomplish\u2014their goal\u2014to get a sense of the progress they\u2019re hoping to make.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) Consider alternative options: <\/strong>You can help your team member understand the options available to them by asking questions like, \u201cIf you go with this idea, what are we saying \u2018no\u2019 to?\u201d By asking them to consider possible alternatives, you can instill confidence in the actions they\u2019ll be taking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4) Reflect on the conversation:<\/strong> According to Stanier, you can encourage long-term insights by thinking about your conversation and the next steps. By asking, \u201cHow can I support you?\u201d <\/strong>you can provide support in the way most beneficial for both of you. To help your team grow, end on a positive note by identifying what lessons were learned\u2014\u201cWhat was helpful about our talk?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Asking Questions for Negotiation<\/strong>

Asking questions for coaching is in many ways similar to asking questions during a negotiation. In both situations, you\u2019re trying to communicate clearly and effectively to arrive at a solution or an understanding with someone else.

Like Stanier, Christopher Voss in Never Split the Difference<\/em><\/a> advocates letting the other person lead the conversation to help you achieve your negotiation goals. In many ways, Stanier\u2019s seven questions of identifying a focus to resolve a specific issue parallel Voss\u2019s advice:

– Open-Ended Questions<\/strong>: Voss also advocates using open-ended questions so that the responder can provide useful information for you to understand the situation<\/a>. He argues this is helpful in the negotiation field to give the other person an impression of control as you guide them toward your desired outcome. Like Stanier, he proposes questions that focus the conversation on the other person like, \u201cWhat are you hoping to accomplish?\u201d This encourages them <\/em>to come up with solutions.

– Summarizing<\/strong>: As in both the workplace and negotiation situations, you\u2019re looking for a firm commitment. When negotiating, Voss suggests you ask questions that get the other person to say \u201cno,\u201d which will also foster in them a sense of control<\/a>. This tactic parallels Stanier’s suggestion of considering alternative options. After that, Voss also suggests you summarize what was accomplished during the conversation to establish long-term rapport and understanding.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

How to Use Questions to Give Advice<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Although Stanier argues that offering advice isn\u2019t always the best solution, he also believes a good leader<\/a> should know how to give quality advice when it\u2019s needed. He introduces four tips to doing so:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #1<\/strong>: Give simple answers to simple questions\u2014<\/strong>sometimes a straightforward question such as, \u201cWhat time should I finish this project by?\u201d can be answered with a simple response rather than an in-depth exploration of the situation. In these cases, offering the answer would be the most helpful and supportive thing you can do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #2: Lessen the pressure\u2014<\/strong>sound less certain about your suggestions or else people might not even question them. Emphasize that your advice isn\u2019t a command, but merely a thought or suggestion, with phrases such as, \u201cThis is just one thought I have\u2026\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m not sure if this is something you could consider\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #3: Be clear\u2014<\/strong>state your advice plainly. Make sure your suggestions are clear and complete.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #4: Summarize\u2014<\/strong>ask questions to gauge how your advice was received, such as, \u201cDid that help you in any way?\u201d Asking for feedback<\/a> can help you solidify your coaching habits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Four Categories of Advice<\/strong>

While Stanier\u2019s tips provide suggestions about how to deliver advice, he doesn\u2019t provide much insight into what content your advice should contain for different situations. When someone\u2019s asking for your insights, you can consider the kind<\/em> of advice they might be looking for. Researchers have identified four different types of advice that can help ensure your advice is valuable and targeted<\/a>:

1) Discrete<\/strong>\u2014This category of advice mirrors Stanier\u2019s first tip of giving a simple answer to a straightforward question. This type of advice is helpful in situations in which someone is looking for recommendations regarding specific options or courses of action. Someone might ask, \u201cHow many people should I collaborate with on this project?\u201d

2) Counsel<\/strong>\u2014When someone\u2019s uncertain of how to navigate a new and unfamiliar situation, they\u2019re probably looking for counseling. The advice they\u2019re hoping for often involves an explanation of the process or how they should approach the situation. An example might be, \u201cHow should I negotiate the terms of this contract?\u201d In such situations, Stanier\u2019s advice to be clear would be especially important. 

3) Coaching<\/strong>\u2014This \u201ccoaching\u201d form of advice differs from Stanier\u2019s broader usage of the term in that it deals more specifically with someone\u2019s personal skills. Since this type of advice is more personal, Stanier\u2019s tip of lowering your authority is more important here. A person looking for coaching advice might ask, \u201cHow can I better communicate with my team?\u201d

4) Mentoring<\/strong>\u2014Someone looking for mentoring advice is often seeking more long-term guidance for personal opportunities. Questions that solicit mentoring advice might sound like, \u201cShould I accept the promotion?\u201d These situations would also call for clarity, like Stanier\u2019s recommendation, and might also be a good time to summarize\u2014to make sure that the long-term advice relationship you\u2019re forming is healthy.

By understanding that different situations might call for different types of advice and applying Stanier\u2019s tips from above, you can ensure that in times when advice truly is called for, your suggestions are valuable and helpful to your team.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Exercise: Focus a Conversation With Questions<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve learned why asking questions is important and how it can help us differentiate between a distracting issue and a primary challenge. Now, we can practice applying Stanier\u2019s questions to difficult conversations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  • Think about a recent time when you had an unproductive conversation with someone. What was the situation? Describe what obstacle(s) made that conversation confusing or even irritating. (For example, was the conversation focused on blaming someone who wasn\u2019t present?)<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n
    • Which of Stanier\u2019s questions could you have asked to have gotten the conversation back on track? (For example, \u201cWhat\u2019s the main challenge you\u2019re dealing with?\u201d)<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n
      • How do you think asking those questions might have changed the outcome of your conversation?<\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        Why is asking questions important in communication? How can you ask better questions? According to leadership expert Michael Bungay Stanier, asking questions is important in all forms of communication because it helps you to avoid the advice-giving trap. In his book The Advice Trap, he explains the benefits of asking questions versus the drawbacks of offering suggestions. Read on to learn why asking questions is important, including Stanier’s tips for asking better questions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":90415,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,14,12],"tags":[896],"class_list":["post-91964","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-management","category-relationships","tag-the-advice-trap","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Asking Questions Is Important (+Useful Techniques) - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why is asking questions important? 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