{"id":913,"date":"2019-09-05T19:53:38","date_gmt":"2019-09-05T23:53:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=913"},"modified":"2022-03-04T16:41:53","modified_gmt":"2022-03-04T20:41:53","slug":"love-tank-chapman-5-love-languages","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/love-tank-chapman-5-love-languages\/","title":{"rendered":"The Love Tank: The Key to Lasting Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-is-love-according-to-platos-symposium\/\">What is love<\/a>? What is a love tank? And how can I keep my love tank full?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A love tank is the part of us that represents our emotional need for love. This term was coined by Gary Chapman in <em>The <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-are-the-five-love-languages\/\">5 Love Languages<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read on to learn more about love tanks and why keeping them full is so important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Filling Your Love Tank<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Like your fuel tank in your car, your love tank The desire for love stems from a primary urge within us to fill our tanks.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>When our love tanks are full, everything seems possible.<\/strong> The world seems more open and beautiful.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When our love tanks are empty, our worldview can become narrow and pessimistic. It&#8217;s crucial that we take action when our love tanks are empty.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Keeping Your Love Tank Full<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>We are animals in nature. Just as the lion has a primal urge to hunt, <strong>humans have a primal need to experience intimacy and affection<\/strong>. Committed relationships are sought to address that urge and keep our love tanks full forever.&nbsp;<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But <strong><em>being<\/em><\/strong><strong> in love is not the same thing as <\/strong><strong><em>living<\/em><\/strong><strong> with love<\/strong>.&nbsp;<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>When we <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-happens-when-you-fall-in-love\/\">fall <\/a><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-happens-when-you-fall-in-love\/\">in love<\/a><\/em>, we are experiencing a temporary filling of our love tanks <\/strong>because of the <em>love high<\/em>, regardless of how it is delivered. In this early state, we feel euphoric and understood. We feel powerful and confident.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But <strong>the<\/strong><strong><em> in-love<\/em><\/strong><strong> experience is short-lived<\/strong>. As the euphoria wanes, our primal urge for our specific brand of love will reemerge. We will desire to receive love according to our language for it to remain over time.&nbsp;<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>When we stop feeling our particular <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/love-needs\/\">love needs<\/a> being met, our love tanks will slowly drain<\/strong>. And a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/relationship-marriage-problems-5-love-languages\/\">relationship with a foundation of empty love tanks<\/a> is not sustainable. When we feel our needs going unmet, our desire to meet the needs of our loved one diminishes. Empty love tanks may lead to arguments, estrangement, and resentment.&nbsp;<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Full love tanks create an environment where <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/rekindle-love-how-to-rebuild-a-relationship-5-love-languages\/\">love can be examined<\/a> and curated for each partner\u2019s needs.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Maintaining a full love tank is as important in a long-term relationship as having a full tank of gas is for operating a car.<\/strong> Without gas, our cars won\u2019t run. We will be stranded on the side of the road. Likewise, with a full love tank, we can venture forward on our journey with our partners unimpeded.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>But What Is Love?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The word <strong>\u201clove\u201d has become a catchall<\/strong> for expressing our likes or appreciation of something. For example, we may love it when it rains, but we also love pizza and our pets.&nbsp;<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We love our partners, but we also may love a good joke or our favorite band. These <strong>general uses create a washed-out significance<\/strong> for the word, which can distance us from understanding what it really means.&nbsp;This can also distance us from knowing what we need to keep our love tanks full.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When we talk about love <strong>in a romantic relationship, we mean love that addresses our emotional selves<\/strong>. These emotional selves are constructed by our early experiences of receiving love or the opposite.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For instance, a child that receives love, companionship, and support from their parents will have a more stable idea of self and love. A child that does not receive adequate love will likely have a confused and desperate need for love and become emotionally unstable.&nbsp;<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To ensure full love tanks in our relationships, we must acknowledge that we each bring different experiences and expectations into a relationship. Once we understand our foundations of love, we can start addressing how to fill each other\u2019s love tanks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is love? What is a love tank? And how can I keep my love tank full? A love tank is the part of us that represents our emotional need for love. This term was coined by Gary Chapman in The 5 Love Languages. Read on to learn more about love tanks and why keeping them full is so important.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":899,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[37],"class_list":["post-913","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","tag-5-love-languages","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Love Tank: The Key to Lasting Relationships - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The love tank is the part of us that represents our emotional need for love. This term comes from Gary Chapman&#039;s The 5 Love Languages. Fill your love tank.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/love-tank-chapman-5-love-languages\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Love Tank: The Key to Lasting Relationships\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The love tank is the part of us that represents our emotional need for love. This term comes from Gary Chapman&#039;s The 5 Love Languages. Fill your love tank.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/love-tank-chapman-5-love-languages\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-09-05T23:53:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-03-04T20:41:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/5-love-languages-love-tank.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"764\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"472\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Amanda Penn\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Amanda Penn\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/love-tank-chapman-5-love-languages\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/love-tank-chapman-5-love-languages\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Amanda Penn\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/01b0e4c9ddb993e51d03808839d538b0\"},\"headline\":\"The Love Tank: The Key to Lasting Relationships\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-09-05T23:53:38+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-03-04T20:41:53+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/love-tank-chapman-5-love-languages\/\"},\"wordCount\":619,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/love-tank-chapman-5-love-languages\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/5-love-languages-love-tank.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The 5 Love Languages\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Relationships\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/love-tank-chapman-5-love-languages\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/love-tank-chapman-5-love-languages\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/love-tank-chapman-5-love-languages\/\",\"name\":\"The Love Tank: The Key to Lasting Relationships - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/love-tank-chapman-5-love-languages\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/love-tank-chapman-5-love-languages\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/5-love-languages-love-tank.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-09-05T23:53:38+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-03-04T20:41:53+00:00\",\"description\":\"The love tank is the part of us that represents our emotional need for love. 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