{"id":90833,"date":"2023-01-19T13:27:00","date_gmt":"2023-01-19T17:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=90833"},"modified":"2023-01-30T15:54:43","modified_gmt":"2023-01-30T19:54:43","slug":"how-to-organize-contacts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-organize-contacts\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Organize Contacts &#038; Improve Relationships as a Result"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How effectively do you keep track of all the people in your life? Do you ever lose phone numbers or forget important birthdays?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In his book <em>The Organized Mind<\/em>, neuroscientist Daniel J. Levitin discusses how to externalize and sort information and objects. He explains how can you use the power of externalization and organization to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-improve-your-relationships-2\/\">improve your relationships<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn why modern relationships can overwhelm us and how to organize contacts in a way that takes that pressure off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-organize-contacts\">How to Organize Contacts<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Levitin suggests that we struggle to keep track of and maintain fulfilling relationships with the people who matter because we know so many people. In past eras, we spent time with a limited number of people\u2014and when our connections changed, they did so slowly and because they were no longer relevant to our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But, in the modern world, we know way more people: Many of us live in cities where we encounter far more people than our ancestors did. We regularly change jobs and move, so our connections change at far greater speeds, which only increases the number of people we have to keep track of at any given moment. And, thanks to social media, we\u2019re able to keep track of people with whom we might otherwise have fallen out of touch.&nbsp;Levitin addresses how to organize contacts in a way that reduces the overwhelming aspect of modern relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: It\u2019s possible that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bbc.com\/future\/article\/20191001-dunbars-number-why-we-can-only-maintain-150-relationships\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">we&#8217;re cognitively <em>incapable <\/em>of maintaining the many and ever-changing relationships we have<\/a> in the modern era. Based on his examination of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/hunter-gatherer-societies\/\">hunter-gatherer societies<\/a> and several modern artifacts (including companies and address books), anthropologist Robin Dunbar posited that we can only have <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/meaningful-relationships-ray-dalio\/\">meaningful relationships<\/a> with 150 people\u2014a figure known as Dunbar\u2019s number. Moreover, he also suggested that we can have up to 500 acquaintances and can recognize a maximum of 1,500 people. Dunbar argued that this limit is biological: The number of people we can know depends on the size of our neocortex [a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-are-the-regions-of-the-brain\/\">brain region<\/a> related to language] relative to our physical size.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Levitin suggests dealing with the increase in social connections in two ways. First, <strong>create a database of your connections<\/strong> that includes information you\u2019d like to remember about them\u2014like where you met them or their spouse\u2019s name. You might create your own database; alternatively, if you already have an external depository where you store your contacts (like your computer\u2019s address book), just add relevant information in each entry. Second, <strong>set an external reminder <\/strong>to contact important people in your life, such as by creating a recurring weekly event to \u201cCall Mom.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Levitin contends that these two methods help you make better relationship-related decisions for two reasons. First, you\u2019ll remember more information about your connections, so you\u2019ll <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/make-better-decisions\/\">make better decisions<\/a> about what to talk about with them. For example, if you remember that your friend\u2019s birthday is in January, you can ask her about that when you talk to her that month. Second, you\u2019ll contact them more regularly\u2014which is in itself a good relationship-related decision as you\u2019re choosing to spend more time connecting with people you care about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Like Levitin, other experts agree that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.themuse.com\/advice\/the-secret-to-remembering-anything-about-anyone\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">noting information about your contacts and remembering more information about them can improve your relationships<\/a>. Ensure that you <a href=\"https:\/\/lifehacker.com\/write-things-you-need-to-remember-about-people-in-conta-1539004683\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">note down this information while you still remember it<\/a>; if it\u2019s a new contact, asking how to spell their name will buy you the time you need to write down notes about them. Unlike Levitin, experts warn that even if using an external reminder increases the frequency with which you contact your loved ones, this may not necessarily improve your relationships since <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nbcnews.com\/better\/lifestyle\/how-stay-touch-your-long-distance-friends-ncna995951\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">not everybody prioritizes frequency<\/a> of contact. For example, if your long-distance friend hates talking on the phone, she may prefer that you catch up more rarely but in person.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How effectively do you keep track of all the people in your life? Do you ever lose phone numbers or forget important birthdays? In his book The Organized Mind, neuroscientist Daniel J. Levitin discusses how to externalize and sort information and objects. He explains how can you use the power of externalization and organization to improve your relationships. Keep reading to learn why modern relationships can overwhelm us and how to organize contacts in a way that takes that pressure off.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":90841,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,7,12],"tags":[882],"class_list":["post-90833","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-lifestyle","category-relationships","tag-the-organized-mind","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Organize Contacts &amp; Improve Relationships as a Result - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"These days, we know way more people than ever. 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