{"id":89751,"date":"2023-01-23T14:44:00","date_gmt":"2023-01-23T18:44:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=89751"},"modified":"2026-01-19T22:40:09","modified_gmt":"2026-01-20T02:40:09","slug":"stuck-in-the-past-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stuck-in-the-past-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Stuck in the Past? Here’s How to Turn the Page"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you often find yourself lost in thought, falling down the rabbit hole of past memories? Are you stuck in the past<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The more you\u2019re stuck in the past, the more you carry pain from your past moments into your present. Too much focus on the past creates guilt, regret, resentment, sadness, bitterness, and unforgiveness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s how to free yourself from the burden of the past so you can turn the page and move forward with your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Past Exists Only in Your Mind<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We give a lot of power and credence to the past: We tend to think the past shaped us. While that\u2019s true to some extent, the past is just a concept: It exists only in our minds.<\/strong> When we dwell on the past, it takes away from the present, which is the only true experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Much of our unhappiness is caused by putting too much mental energy<\/a> and attention on the past, instead of being present in our current reality. We don\u2019t gain anything from dwelling on the past because we have no control over it\u2014it\u2019s too late to do anything about what happened in the past. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We get stuck in the past because it gives us a sense of identity, but that\u2019s merely an illusion of the human mind. In contrast, look at nature: Plants and animals go through life in the present moment, living and dying without regret or anxiety about the future<\/a>. They may learn from the past, but they don\u2019t dwell on it. They are always engaged in the task at hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, there are two forms of time: clock time and psychological time<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clock Time <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Clock time is used for practical purposes, like making appointments, learning from the past, setting goals, and predicting\/planning for the future. Clock time is always tied to impacting how you act in the present. When you set and pursue goals<\/a> in clock time, you\u2019re present and in touch with your true self<\/a>, meaning that you know that you\u2019re already whole and complete. With this knowledge, you will not be so focused on the goal that you don\u2019t experience the journey, nor will you be paralyzed by a fear of failure<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psychological Time<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Psychological time, on the other hand, is the preoccupation with the past and future in a non-productive way, like playing over and over in your head a conversation you had with your spouse, or stressing about whether you will be considered for a promotion. Psychological time takes over your thoughts and pulls your attention away from the present. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, you just found out that you did not get a job you interviewed for. If you reflect on your application process and interview to determine how you can improve your chances for the next opportunity, you\u2019re visiting the past in clock time. However, if you dwell on what you should have done differently, berate yourself for stumbling over an interview question, or blame the company for not seeing your value, you\u2019re in psychological time. In other words, you\u2019re stuck in the past. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s very easy to fall into the trap of psychological time. When you notice your mind slipping into this rabbit hole, redirect your focus to the clock time by reflecting on the situation and how you can learn from it rather than imagining how things could have turned out differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let Go of Past Hurts <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In addition to learning to redirect your focus from the past in real time, it\u2019s also important to work on letting go of all the mental junk from your past: painful memories, grudges, and regrets. According to Michael Alan Singer, the author of The Untethered<\/a><\/em> Soul<\/em><\/a>, clinging to the pains from your past creates samskaras<\/em>\u2014mental imprints formed as a result of unresolved past experiences. For example, if driving past a mustang like your ex-girlfriend\u2019s disturbs you, that’s a manifestation of a samskara\u2014you’re affected in the present by something that happened in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you fall into samskaras, you fail into unawareness. You encounter a trigger\u2014some sight, sound, situation, or other experience that\u2019s linked to one of the Samskaras stored in your heart (such as the smell of the perfume your ex-wife used to wear before your marriage imploded)\u2014and this trigger pulls you down into the disturbed energy. From there, you see everything through the negative energy\u2019s distorted haze. Eventually, the negativity plays itself out and subsides, and you rise again. However, if your life hits another blockage while you\u2019re already fallen, and you make life decisions from that negative inner state, then a series of cascading crises can occur, resulting in a downward spiral. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When life inevitably hits your stored negative stuff (your Samskaras), let go of the negativity by <\/p>\n\n\n\n