{"id":88619,"date":"2023-01-26T17:22:00","date_gmt":"2023-01-26T21:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=88619"},"modified":"2023-01-27T11:16:28","modified_gmt":"2023-01-27T15:16:28","slug":"stop-negative-self-talk-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk-2\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Negative Self-Talk and Rumination"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you talk negatively to yourself? How can you silence your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk\/\">negative self-talk<\/a> and rumination? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In his book <em>Chatter<\/em>, neuroscientist and experimental psychologist Ethan Kross says that you can stop negative self-talk by engaging in rituals. Kross explains that rituals combine the benefits of multiple other strategies that also reduce negative self-talk. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s explore three reasons why rituals are effective at silencing negative self-talk. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-reason-1-rituals-often-involve-our-communities\"><strong>Reason 1: Rituals Often Involve Our Communities<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Kross claims that rituals that involve other people, such as religious ceremonies, quiet our negative self-talk. This is because <strong>other people can reduce feelings of isolation and help us cope with negative emotions.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Kross doesn\u2019t explicitly explore why spending time with others can help you stop negative self-talk, but we can infer that it accomplishes this in two ways. First, spending time with others reduces your self-immersion by directing your thoughts away from your cyclical self-talk and toward socializing. Second, community rituals can expose you to your support network, which increases your access to actionable empathy.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-reason-2-rituals-direct-our-attention-elsewhere\"><strong>Reason 2: Rituals Direct Our Attention Elsewhere<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Kross also argues that <strong>rituals require you to channel your brain power<\/strong><strong><em> away<\/em><\/strong><strong> from negative self-talk and <\/strong><strong><em>toward<\/em><\/strong><strong> the steps in the ritual behavior. <\/strong>For instance, imagine you\u2019re one half of a comedy duo. You and your partner engage in the following ritual before every performance: You drink a shot of soju, do a secret handshake, then look into each other\u2019s eyes and exclaim, \u201cYou\u2019re the funniest person I know!\u201d&nbsp; This ritual distracts you from your internal cynic\u2019s worries that you\u2019ll freeze on stage and fail to deliver a funny routine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Rituals may be particularly effective before you engage in some sort of performance. While Kross focuses on the ways that rituals distract you from negative self-talk, other neuroscientists emphasize that rituals <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/ritual-and-the-brain\/201709\/how-rituals-alter-the-brain-help-us-perform-better\">reduce overall performance anxiety.<\/a> When you perform a ritual before a performance (such as a comedy act or a sports game), you experience less anxiety if you fail during the performance (for instance, by botching a joke or missing a goal).)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-reason-3-rituals-give-you-a-sense-of-control\"><strong>Reason 3: Rituals Give You a Sense of Control<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, according to Kross, <strong>rituals give you a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/an-internal-locus-of-control\/\">sense of control<\/a>. <\/strong>Having a sense of control reduces your internal cynic\u2019s power over you. Kross elaborates that rituals create a sense of control because they\u2019re a type of <em>placebo<\/em>.<em> <\/em>A placebo is something that you <em>believe<\/em> will help you, even if there\u2019s nothing specifically about the placebo itself that helps you. Believing in a placebo reassures you that the future will be better, which quiets your internal cynic\u2019s pessimistic worries. Furthermore, when you believe a placebo will make things better, your brain\u2019s threat response decreases.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For instance, imagine that you\u2019re in the process of searching for a new job, and you develop the ritual of listening to your favorite song before each interview. Even if there\u2019s nothing about the song itself that reduces your nerves, your <em>belief<\/em> that it reduces your nerves gives you a sense of control. This sense of control quiets your internal cynic before and during your interviews.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: You may find it hard to commit to a ritual that you <em>know<\/em> is a placebo: It may feel hard to \u201ctrick\u201d yourself into believing it\u2019ll help you if you know the ritual isn\u2019t <em>inherently <\/em>helpful. Therefore, consider engaging in rituals that provide <em>other<\/em> clear benefits. You\u2019ll engage in the ritual to experience <em>those<\/em> benefits, then you may also<em> <\/em>experience the benefit Kross names\u2014an increased sense of control, which can quiet your internal cynic. For instance, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/ritual-and-the-brain\/201709\/how-rituals-alter-the-brain-help-us-perform-better\">engage in a gratitude ritual every evening<\/a>. Reflect on three things from your day that you\u2019re grateful for. Research reveals that <a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/11811629\/\">feelings of gratitude boost your well-being<\/a>. The sense of control this ritual provides you with may also help quiet your negative self-talk.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you talk negatively to yourself? How can you silence your negative self-talk and rumination? In his book Chatter, neuroscientist and experimental psychologist Ethan Kross says that you can stop negative self-talk by engaging in rituals. Kross explains that rituals combine the benefits of multiple other strategies that also reduce negative self-talk. Let\u2019s explore three reasons why rituals are effective at silencing negative self-talk.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":59606,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,9],"tags":[852],"class_list":["post-88619","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-psychology","tag-chatter","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Stop Negative Self-Talk and Rumination - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Neuroscientist and experimental psychologist Ethan Kross says that you can stop negative self-talk by engaging in rituals. Read more.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Stop Negative Self-Talk and Rumination\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Neuroscientist and experimental psychologist Ethan Kross says that you can stop negative self-talk by engaging in rituals. Read more.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-01-26T21:22:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-01-27T15:16:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/thinking-man.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1302\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"734\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk-2\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk-2\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"How to Stop Negative Self-Talk and Rumination\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-01-26T21:22:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-01-27T15:16:28+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk-2\/\"},\"wordCount\":655,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk-2\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/thinking-man.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Chatter\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Lifestyle\",\"Psychology\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk-2\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk-2\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk-2\/\",\"name\":\"How to Stop Negative Self-Talk and Rumination - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk-2\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk-2\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/thinking-man.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-01-26T21:22:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-01-27T15:16:28+00:00\",\"description\":\"Neuroscientist and experimental psychologist Ethan Kross says that you can stop negative self-talk by engaging in rituals. 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