{"id":88597,"date":"2023-01-24T08:07:00","date_gmt":"2023-01-24T12:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=88597"},"modified":"2023-01-27T11:16:24","modified_gmt":"2023-01-27T15:16:24","slug":"chatter-ethan-kross","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/chatter-ethan-kross\/","title":{"rendered":"Chatter by Ethan Kross: Book Overview"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What is Ethan Kross&#8217;s <em>Chatter<\/em> about? What is the key message to take away from the book?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In his book <em>Chatter<\/em>, neuroscientist and experimental psychologist Ethan Kross explores the private conversations we have with ourselves and how they impact our well-being and life outcomes. Further, he lays out practical strategies to help you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/silencing-your-inner-critic\/\">silence your inner critic<\/a> and rewire your mind for more positivity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading for a brief overview of Ethan Kross&#8217;s book <em>The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><em><strong>The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It<\/strong><\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Right now, you\u2019re not only reading these words. You\u2019re also engaging in self-talk: your thoughts taking the form of words, all within your mind. Self-talk is the voice in your mind that says, \u201cInteresting!\u201d when you read something compelling. It\u2019s the encouraging voice that tells you \u201cNailed it!\u201d after you rock an interview, as well as the inner cynic that grumbles, \u201cYou\u2019re a failure\u201d after you bomb a first date. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>Chatter<\/em>, Ethan Kross highlights this last type of voice\u2014negative self-talk, which he believes interferes with your happiness, health, and success. He argues that <strong>you can improve your life by quieting <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk\/\">negative self-talk<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Chatter<\/em> is the first book by Kross, a neuroscientist and experimental psychologist. He founded a lab at the University of Michigan that studies people\u2019s self-talk. He and his colleagues design experiments to answer the following questions: Why do we engage in self-talk? How can we prevent negative self-talk from jeopardizing our well-being? <em>Chatter <\/em>explores these same questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this guide, we\u2019ll present Kross\u2019s insights on self-talk and share his research-based strategies for managing its negative form. In Part 1, we\u2019ll provide some background: what self-talk is, why you engage in it, and how both your biology and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-you-were-raised\/\">your upbringing<\/a> shape your internal voice. In Part 2, we\u2019ll contrast how negative and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/importance-of-positive-self-talk\/\">positive self-talk<\/a> impact your life. Finally, in Part 3, we\u2019ll explore five of Kross\u2019s strategies for managing your negative self-talk. Throughout this guide, we\u2019ll compare Kross\u2019s ideas and strategies to those of other experts on self-talk. Furthermore, we\u2019ll provide additional actionable steps for quieting your negative self-talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-part-1-background-on-self-talk\"><strong>Part 1: Background on Self-Talk<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Is self-talk just another word for our thoughts? Not quite: Kross claims that <strong>specifically, self-talk is thoughts that take the form of silent words you \u201chear\u201d in your mind. <\/strong>Here are several examples of self-talk:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>After you say something awkward to your date, you mentally chastise yourself. Your internal voice moans, \u201cNow they probably think I\u2019m a<em> loser.<\/em>\u201d<\/li><li>Before you share your idea in a meeting, you imagine what you\u2019ll say.<\/li><li>After you meet someone, you mentally repeat their name so you don\u2019t forget it.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-why-do-we-engage-in-self-talk\"><strong>Why Do We Engage in Self-Talk?<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Kross, <strong>self-talk must be evolutionarily beneficial<\/strong>\u2014otherwise, this habit wouldn\u2019t have persisted into modern times. He surmises that our ancestors who engaged in self-talk were more likely to survive and therefore pass this habit down to future generations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-neuroscience-of-self-talk\"><strong>The Neuroscience of Self-Talk<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>What happens in your brain when you\u2019re engaging in self-talk? Kross shares three facts about the neuroscience of having an internal voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-fact-1-you-can-multitask-while-engaging-in-self-talk\">Fact 1: You Can Multitask While Engaging in Self-Talk<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Kross, <strong>you have a system in your brain called the <em>phonological loop<\/em> that allows you to engage in self-talk while doing other things. <\/strong>Your phonological loop has two jobs it can do simultaneously: 1) It temporarily stores verbal information, such as something you\u2019ve just heard or read, and 2) it allows you to silently think in the form of words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-fact-2-our-self-talk-is-lightning-fast\">Fact 2: Our Self-Talk Is Lightning-Fast<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Second, Kross cites a study revealing that <strong>our self-talk happens remarkably fast. <\/strong>Our internal voice \u201cspeaks\u201d at a rate close to four thousand words per <em>minute<\/em>. Reading four thousand words <em>aloud<\/em> would take at least 15 minutes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-fact-3-everyone-engages-in-self-talk\">Fact 3: Everyone Engages in Self-Talk<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Third, Kross elaborates that <strong>everyone engages in self-talk to some degree<\/strong>, even people who don\u2019t express themselves out loud. For instance, deaf signers report having an internal voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-social-and-cultural-forces-that-shape-self-talk\"><strong>Social and Cultural Forces That Shape Self-Talk<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Although our capacity for self-talk is hard-wired into our brains, it\u2019s also shaped by the world outside our heads. Kross argues that <strong>our upbringing and culture influence our self-talk. <\/strong>We internalize the voices of those around us<strong>, <\/strong>especially those of our parents. Their voices usually reflect larger cultural beliefs.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For instance, imagine that your culture has the following social norm: Refrain from displaying intense emotions around strangers. While growing up, your parents repeatedly reminded you of this norm. Over time, you internalized their vocal reminders. Now, their words are part of your self-talk, reminding you to be emotionally reserved in public.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-part-2-positive-vs-negative-self-talk\"><strong>Part 2: Positive vs. Negative Self-Talk<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Kross contends that <strong>our self-talk is extremely important: It influences our happiness, health, and success. <\/strong>In this section, we\u2019ll contrast how positive and negative self-talk impact your life. We\u2019ll begin with positive self-talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-positive-self-talk-improves-your-life\"><strong>How Positive Self-Talk Improves Your Life<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-role-1-supporting-you-with-your-goals\">Role 1: Supporting You With Your Goals<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Kross explains that <strong>when your self-talk is positive, it\u2019s an <\/strong><strong><em>internal mentor<\/em><\/strong><strong> that improves your life by supporting you with your goals.<\/strong> Your internal mentor does this in three ways:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>It motivates you <\/strong>by offering encouragement.<\/li><li><strong>It prompts you to assess your progress<\/strong> by reflecting on your accomplishments so far and comparing them to your goals.&nbsp;<\/li><li><strong>It helps you plan for the future <\/strong>by directing you to engage in behaviors that increase your chances of accomplishing your goals.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-role-2-helping-you-construct-your-identity\">Role 2: Helping You Construct Your Identity<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Second, Kross claims that <strong>your internal mentor helps you form your identity, which makes life easier.<\/strong> Think of your internal mentor as a silent voiceover narrating your life. This voiceover tells a somewhat oversimplified story, highlighting certain aspects of your past to construct a cohesive story about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/your-genius\/\">who you are<\/a>. This story helps you recognize what you want and need in life, and it grounds you in your values so you can be resilient in the face of challenges.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, imagine you\u2019re on a journey toward becoming less of a perfectionist, and your effort to record a musical album is forcing you to confront your perfectionist tendencies. Any time you slip into your old ways, your internal mentor steers you towards success by connecting your past, present, and future identities into a cohesive narrative:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>It compares the present to the past: \u201cYou\u2019re being a perfectionist again by trying to perfect each song. In the past, this prevented you from completing songs.\u201d<\/li><li>It imagines a better future: \u201cOn future recordings, be less of a perfectionist. Remind yourself that \u2018good enough is good enough!\u2019 It\u2019s better to have <em>imperfect but completed<\/em> songs than <em>no<\/em> songs.\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-negative-self-talk-harms-you\"><strong>How Negative Self-Talk Harms You<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>On the other hand, Kross claims that sometimes, <strong>your self-talk is negative\u2014an <em>internal cynic<\/em> who overwhelms and discourages you.<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kross claims that, in contrast to your internal mentor, your internal cynic chastises you, fixates on negative memories, and worries excessively about negative scenarios. Let\u2019s reimagine what it would be like to work on your musical album in the company of your internal cynic:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>It chastises you <\/strong>by saying,<strong> <\/strong>\u201cThis song is impossible to play. I\u2019m a failure.\u201d<\/li><li><strong>It fixates on negative memories <\/strong>associated with music-making, such as the time you forgot your own lyrics during a performance. Your internal cynic says, \u201cThat night proves that you\u2019re not meant to be a musician.\u201d<\/li><li><strong>It worries excessively about negative scenarios <\/strong>and<strong> <\/strong>fails to provide solutions for course correcting. It says, \u201cYou\u2019ll probably never finish your album.\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform: While Kross identifies our internal cynic\u2019s voice as a harmful influence, other experts emphasize that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/the-squeaky-wheel\/201906\/5-ways-we-justify-negative-self-talk-and-why-they-re-wrong\">the real problem is <em>our failure to question this voice<\/em>.<\/a> Why do people tend to believe their internal cynic? First, some people think that chastising self-talk keeps them humble. For instance, you might not question your internal mentor\u2019s claim that you\u2019re a musical failure because you think this claim prevents you from becoming obnoxiously confident. Second, some people view their negative self-talk as deserved punishment. For instance, you may think you<em> deserve<\/em> to revisit negative memories or worry about the future as punishment for procrastinating on your album. Later, we\u2019ll explore strategies for questioning your internal cynic.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s explore how over time, this internal cynic can harm your success, happiness, and health. We\u2019ve organized its negative impacts into five effects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-effect-1-increasingly-negative-feelings\">Effect 1: Increasingly Negative Feelings<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>First, According to Kross, <strong>your negative self-talk prompts a vicious cycle in your brain that makes you feel <\/strong><strong><em>worse<\/em><\/strong><strong>. <\/strong>Let\u2019s break down the steps in this cycle:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Step 1: Negative self-talk stresses you out <\/strong>or worsens your existing stress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Step 2: Your brain activates a threat response.<\/strong> Your hypothalamus, a region in your brain, interprets your stress as a threat. To prepare your body to fight this perceived threat, the hypothalamus activates a threat response similar to the one you experience when facing a physical threat. This response sends hormones into your bloodstream that speed up your heartbeat, raise your blood pressure, and increase your energy levels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Step 3: Your brain\u2019s threat response makes you feel worse, <\/strong>which amplifies your negative self-talk. Your internal cynic reflects your increasingly negative feelings by becoming increasingly cynical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-effect-2-reduced-access-to-your-skills\">Effect 2: Reduced Access to Your Skills&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Negative self-talk not only makes you <em>feel<\/em> worse\u2014it also makes you <em>perform<\/em> worse. Kross explains that <strong>when your internal cynic plagues your mind, you lose access to some of your skills. <\/strong>Specifically, you can lose access to automatic skills stored in your muscle memory (such as driving a car, dancing, or reading).&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To understand why negative self-talk has this effect, we have to understand your brain\u2019s <em>executive functions<\/em>. These are the jobs your brain performs to guide you through your day, such as shifting your attention to a new task and holding information temporarily in your mind. Kross explains that <strong>when you\u2019re immersed in negative self-talk, your brain\u2014which has limited capacity\u2014lacks enough energy to fully perform its executive functions.<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-effect-3-social-isolation\">Effect 3: Social Isolation&nbsp;<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Third, Kross argues that <strong>your negative self-talk harms your social relationships and makes you feel isolated.<\/strong> He describes two ways in which this happens:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1) You behave aggressively. <\/strong>Kross cites research revealing that people who repeatedly verbalize their negative self-talk are more likely to act aggressively. Negative self-talk multiplies our frustration, and we unfairly direct it toward others. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2) You frustrate and repel others.<\/strong> When you repeatedly share your negative self-talk with others (whether verbally or in writing), people may grow frustrated with your negativity and start avoiding you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-effect-4-poor-mental-health\">Effect 4: Poor Mental Health<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Kress contends that<strong> negative self-talk also degrades your long-term mental health. <\/strong>He explains that people who deal with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/low-mood-and-anxiety\/\">depression and anxiety<\/a> often have an overactive internal cynic.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-effect-5-poor-physical-health\">Effect 5: Poor Physical Health<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Lastly, Kross provides evidence that <strong>negative self-talk also harms your physical health. <\/strong>As previously noted, when you can\u2019t switch off your internal cynic, your hypothalamus activates a threat response, quickening your heartbeat and releasing stress hormones. If your negative self-talk persists for too long, this physical threat response does as well. This causes problems related to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/long-term-stress\/\">chronic stress<\/a>, such as heart problems and insomnia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-part-3-how-to-manage-your-negative-self-talk\"><strong>Part 3: How to Manage Your Negative Self-Talk<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Kross argues that, fortunately, we can prevent our negative self-talk from interfering with our success, happiness, and health. He claims that <strong>we can\u2019t get rid of our internal cynic completely, but we can <\/strong><strong><em>quiet<\/em><\/strong><strong> it and therefore reduce its power over us. <\/strong>In this section, we\u2019ll share five of Kross\u2019s research-based strategies for quieting your negative self-talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-strategy-1-pursue-amazement\"><strong>Strategy 1: Pursue Amazement<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Kross, you can quiet your internal cynic by<strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/directing-attention\/\">directing your attention<\/a> away from your negative self-talk and toward something amazing. <\/strong>Kross explains that amazing experiences can quiet your inner cynic because they reduce brain activity associated with <em>self-immersion: <\/em>getting lost in your thoughts, including negative self-talk.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are four of Kross\u2019s tips for seeking out amazing experiences:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1) Notice everyday, incredible moments. <\/strong>Enjoy the moment when your child uses a new word they\u2019ve learned, or revel in the miraculous taste of your morning coffee. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2) Enjoy some art. <\/strong>Read a work of fiction, see a play, or attend a live performance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>3) Witness something mind-blowing. <\/strong>Have a conversation with someone who survived a life-changing disaster or read a book about the neuroscience of octopi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>4) Spend time near nature.<\/strong> Go on a walk, visit an aquarium, or gaze at the night sky. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-strategy-2-seek-out-actionable-empathy\"><strong>Strategy 2: Seek Out Actionable Empathy<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>When we\u2019re struggling with something, many of us seek out others for emotional support. But Kross warns that <strong>seeking support from other people can sometimes make you feel <\/strong><strong><em>worse<\/em><\/strong><strong> and increase your negative self-talk.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Why does this happen? Kross explains that support-seeking often results in what psychologists call <em>co-rumination<\/em>: when the person supporting you asks too many questions about your challenge. Excessive questioning makes you re-experience the pain of the challenge <em>and<\/em> resurfaces related, painful memories. This is because brains process thoughts by making associations: When you recall one negative memory, your brain resurfaces other, related negative memories. When you re-experience all these memories, your internal cynic grows louder, intensifying your negative emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Kross, <strong>you can limit co-rumination and quiet your internal cynic by<\/strong> <strong>seeking out <em>actionable empathy: <\/em><\/strong>when someone offers you empathy <em>and<\/em> provides solutions to your challenge. They show empathy by validating the difficulty of your situation and the emotions it\u2019s giving you. Then, instead of engaging in co-rumination by asking you too many reflective questions about your situation, they instead offer advice. This advice prevents you from revisiting painful memories and directs your attention toward a more hopeful future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-strategy-3-adopt-a-new-perspective\"><strong>Strategy 3: Adopt a New Perspective<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Seeking out actionable empathy works if you have access to others\u2014but what if you\u2019re by yourself and you need relief from your internal cynic? Kross claims that <strong>you can quiet your internal cynic by adopting a new perspective. <\/strong>This allows you to get outside of your head, bringing you clarity and a break from your body\u2019s threat response. In this section, we\u2019ll share four of Kross\u2019s tips for quieting your internal cynic by adopting a new perspective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-tip-1-think-of-your-problem-as-a-project\">Tip 1: Think of Your Problem as a Project<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>First, according to Kross, studies reveal that you can <strong>reduce your brain\u2019s threat response by thinking of your problem as a <\/strong><strong><em>project<\/em><\/strong><strong> instead of a threat. <\/strong>When you approach your problem as a project that will develop your skills, you call upon your internal mentor, whose encouragement can drown out your internal cynic.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For instance, imagine you\u2019re an organizer for housing justice and you\u2019re feeling discouraged by your city\u2019s lack of affordable housing. Instead of framing this as a threat to your coalition\u2019s goals, think of it as a project that\u2019ll push you and your coalition to develop new skills and tactics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-tip-2-compare-your-present-to-the-past\">Tip 2: Compare Your Present to the Past<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Kross claims that <strong>you can also quiet your internal cynic by comparing your present situation to other challenges you\u2019ve endured in the past. <\/strong>Remembering these past successes offers hope that you\u2019re capable of persisting through your current challenge. These feelings of hope can transform your internal cynic into an internal mentor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, imagine you\u2019re having trouble setting boundaries with a family member and your internal cynic is chastising you for being a pushover. To counteract this negativity, remind yourself of times in the past when you\u2019ve effectively <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/when-to-say-no\/\">set boundaries<\/a> with other people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-tip-3-imagine-how-you-ll-feel-in-the-future\">Tip 3: Imagine How You\u2019ll Feel in the Future<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>If comparing your current situation to the past doesn\u2019t provide relief, look to the future instead. Kross claims <strong>that you can quiet your negative self-talk by imagining a positive future<\/strong>. Consider how you\u2019ll feel about your current situation in one month, a year, and 10 years. Contextualizing your present in your future can trigger the hopeful realization that your current situation is temporary. As previously noted, hopefulness hushes your internal cynic.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-tip-4-avoid-using-the-i-pronoun-in-your-self-talk\">Tip 4: Avoid Using the \u201cI\u201d Pronoun in Your Self-Talk<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>A final way to adopt a new perspective is to shift the pronouns your internal voice uses. Kross claims that <strong>the pronouns you use in your self-talk affect the power of your internal cynic. <\/strong>People who address themselves using the first-person pronoun \u201cI\u201d experience more negative emotions than people who address themselves using different pronouns. Pronouns other than \u201cI,\u201d such as \u201che,\u201d \u201cshe,\u201d \u201cthey,\u201d and \u201cyou,\u201d give you distance from your current situation, preventing you from losing yourself in negative emotions that fuel your negative self-talk. When you use these other pronouns, your brain\u2019s threat response is less activated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-strategy-4-increase-your-sense-of-control\"><strong>Strategy 4: Increase Your Sense of Control<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Kross, <strong>you can also quiet your internal cynic by increasing your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/an-internal-locus-of-control\/\">sense of control<\/a>. <\/strong>Any time your internal cynic takes over, you feel overwhelmed by its voice and lose your sense of control. Strategies that replenish your sense of control give you hope that you can steer your future toward a positive outcome.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One way to regain control, Kross claims, is to organize your time and your physical space. For example, organize your time by making a schedule for your day or week. You can organize your space on a small scale (such as sorting your desktop files into folders) or on a large scale (such as cleaning your home).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-strategy-5-engage-in-rituals\"><strong>Strategy 5: Engage in Rituals<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, according to Kross, rituals\u2014from wearing a lucky hat to uttering a prayer\u2014quiet our internal cynic. Kross explains that <strong>rituals combine the benefits of multiple other strategies that also reduce negative self-talk <\/strong>(some of which we discussed in earlier sections). Let\u2019s explore three reasons why rituals are effective at quieting your internal cynic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-reason-1-rituals-often-involve-our-communities\">Reason 1: Rituals Often Involve Our Communities<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Kross claims that rituals that involve other people, such as religious ceremonies, quiet our negative self-talk. This is because <strong>other people can reduce feelings of isolation and help us cope with negative emotions.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-reason-2-rituals-direct-our-attention-elsewhere\">Reason 2: Rituals Direct Our Attention Elsewhere<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Kross also argues that <strong>rituals require you to channel your brain power<em> away<\/em> from negative self-talk and <em>toward<\/em> the steps in the ritual behavior. <\/strong>For instance, imagine you\u2019re one half of a comedy duo. You and your partner engage in the following ritual before every performance: You drink a shot of soju, do a secret handshake, then look into each other\u2019s eyes and exclaim, \u201cYou\u2019re the funniest person I know!\u201d&nbsp; This ritual distracts you from your internal cynic\u2019s worries that you\u2019ll freeze on stage and fail to deliver a funny routine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-reason-3-rituals-give-you-a-sense-of-control\">Reason 3: Rituals Give You a Sense of Control<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, according to Kross, <strong>rituals give you a sense of control. <\/strong>As we discussed earlier, having a sense of control reduces your internal cynic\u2019s power over you. Kross elaborates that rituals create a sense of control because they\u2019re a type of <em>placebo<\/em>.<em> <\/em>A placebo is something that you <em>believe<\/em> will help you, even if there\u2019s nothing specifically about the placebo itself that helps you. Believing in a placebo reassures you that the future will be better, which quiets your internal cynic\u2019s pessimistic worries. Furthermore, when you believe a placebo will make things better, your brain\u2019s threat response decreases.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For instance, imagine that you\u2019re in the process of searching for a new job, and you develop the ritual of listening to your favorite song before each interview. Even if there\u2019s nothing about the song itself that reduces your nerves, your <em>belief<\/em> that it reduces your nerves gives you a sense of control. This sense of control quiets your internal cynic before and during your interviews.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is Ethan Kross&#8217;s Chatter about? What is the key message to take away from the book? In his book Chatter, neuroscientist and experimental psychologist Ethan Kross explores the private conversations we have with ourselves and how they impact our well-being and life outcomes. Further, he lays out practical strategies to help you silence your inner critic and rewire your mind for more positivity. Keep reading for a brief overview of Ethan Kross&#8217;s book The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":82153,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,9],"tags":[852],"class_list":["post-88597","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","category-psychology","tag-chatter","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Chatter by Ethan Kross: Book Overview - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In Chatter, Ethan Kross outlines strategies to help you silence your inner critic and quiet negative self-talk. 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