{"id":88185,"date":"2022-12-24T22:21:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-25T02:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=88185"},"modified":"2023-01-03T10:30:46","modified_gmt":"2023-01-03T14:30:46","slug":"placing-blame","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/placing-blame\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Placing Blame Is Just a Cop-Out &#038; Acceptance Is the Answer"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>When things go wrong, do you look for someone or something to blame? If so, what good does that do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Placing blame is not a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stoic-way\/\">Stoic way<\/a> to live. Philosophers such as Epictetus teach that it&#8217;s far better to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-accept-things-as-they-are\/\">accept things as they are<\/a>. So, forget about pointing fingers in every direction\u2014even inward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Continue reading to learn how acceptance is better than the blame game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-placing-blame\">Placing Blame<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Stoicism strongly emphasizes calm dignity and inner strength\u2014in essence, that you don\u2019t let anything upset or excite you so you can bring your reason to bear in every situation. Epictetus teaches how to remain calm in the face of adversity so that you can meet challenges with quiet rationality.&nbsp;Acceptance\u2014instead of placing blame\u2014is one strategy that Epictetus recommends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Looking for someone to blame for your problems\u2014even yourself\u2014encourages irrational, emotional thinking. <strong>When you try to assign blame, you\u2019re really just looking for a target for your anger and frustration.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Epictetus teaches that blaming outside forces for your hardships shows a lack of understanding about how the world works because you\u2019re trying to fight against what Nature has caused to happen. Blaming yourself shows the beginning of understanding; you\u2019re no longer upset with Nature, but neither are you accepting your own role within Nature.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/acceptance-of-reality\/\">accepting reality<\/a> without assigning <em>any <\/em>blame shows true understanding. True acceptance means you recognize that everything, including your own decisions, is happening as it must happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-f-ck\"><em>The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck<\/em><\/a>, Mark Manson explains that you can <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-f-ck\/chapter-5#responsibility-versus-blame\">accept <em>responsibility <\/em>for a situation without accepting <em>blame <\/em>for it<\/a>. In other words, when you face hardship, it\u2019s not necessarily your fault that you\u2019re in that situation\u2014however, it\u2019s still your responsibility to deal with whatever situations you encounter. To give a simple example: If you come across a piece of litter on the ground, it\u2019s not your fault that it\u2019s there, but you can still accept the responsibility of picking it up.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When things go wrong, do you look for someone or something to blame? If so, what good does that do? Placing blame is not a Stoic way to live. Philosophers such as Epictetus teach that it&#8217;s far better to accept things as they are. So, forget about pointing fingers in every direction\u2014even inward. Continue reading to learn how acceptance is better than the blame game.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":88187,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,9],"tags":[847],"class_list":["post-88185","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-philosophy","category-psychology","tag-the-discourses-of-epictetus","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why Placing Blame Is Just a Cop-Out &amp; Acceptance Is the Answer - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Placing blame is not a Stoic way to live. Philosophers such as Epictetus teach that it&#039;s far better to accept things as they are. 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