{"id":87687,"date":"2022-12-24T15:03:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-24T19:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=87687"},"modified":"2022-12-29T11:22:12","modified_gmt":"2022-12-29T15:22:12","slug":"goal-setting-life-coach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/goal-setting-life-coach\/","title":{"rendered":"Goal Setting as a Life Coach: Marcia Reynolds’s Tips"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

How do you accomplish goal setting as a life coach? How do you identify and set successful goals in a coaching session?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to transformational coach Marcia Reynolds, a life coach’s job is not to judge clients from on high, but to partner with and help them leverage their strengths to achieve their goals. In Coach the Person, Not the Problem<\/em>, she gives advice on how to successfully set goals in a coaching session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading to learn more about goal setting as a life coach, according to Reynolds’s advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Goal Setting as a Life Coach <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Marcia Reynolds says that coaches keep clients focused on goals and actions they\u2019ll take to achieve them. Goal setting as a life coach provides a guiding light to aim for, decreasing the likelihood of sessions turning into a laundry list review of clients\u2019 surface-level problems<\/strong>. Encouraging clients to articulate what they\u2019ve learned during a session and commit to steps they\u2019ll take to achieve their goals leads to concrete, positive change. In this article, we’ll describe Reynolds’s advice for setting goals during a coaching session, based on the descriptions in Coach the Person, Not the Problem<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Help Clients Set Goals<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When it comes to life coaching and setting goals, Reynolds argues that helping clients identify goals increases the probability that they\u2019ll make longer-lasting change<\/strong> than if you simply assign them a goal. A goal can be as simple as addressing an obstacle that\u2019s preventing the client from making a decision or moving forward, such as an emotion, like fear, that has them feeling stuck<\/a>. She says coaches shouldn\u2019t give clients goals because it may prompt resistance. This is because change triggers a survival response in the brain that interprets doing things differently as a threat. People are more likely to embrace change<\/a> when they arrive at their own conclusions about how and why that change is important\u2014because it\u2019s less threatening than if someone imposes change on them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Leadership experts offer a different take on why change is so difficult: It makes people feel they\u2019ve lost control and creates an uncertain future in which they\u2019re forced to contemplate their relevance and competence<\/a>. For example, if a new boss takes over an organization, employees may worry about the security of their job, whether they\u2019ll have to take on a different role or expanded responsibilities, and if they\u2019ll be able to manage these changes. To minimize discomfort that can come with this kind of change, leaders can be honest and transparent about what workers can expect\u2014for example, they might announce early in their tenure that they don\u2019t have plans to lay off workers.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though it\u2019s ideal for clients to start each session with a goal, not every client has a clear goal from the outset. Reynolds says it\u2019s okay for goals to evolve over the course of a session. When clients\u2019 goals aren\u2019t firm or shift over the course of a session, you can help tease out a direction they might like to move in using the following tips:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Summarize and present choices of preferred outcomes<\/strong>. If your client appears lost, listing one problem after another rather than stating a clear goal, you can sum up what you\u2019ve heard them say then present several options for direction they might take. For example, you might say, \u201cI understand that you\u2019re unhappy at your job because your boss has unrealistic expectations<\/a> of you, but that you also enjoy your work<\/a>. Do you want to leave your job or find ways to make things more tolerable so you can stay?\u201d Your client can then clarify that they prefer one option over the other, or present a different option.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Listen for strong words and emotions that signal what your client really wants<\/strong>. Pay attention to words and phrases that emphasize a client\u2019s true desires<\/a>, like \u201cI wish\u201d or \u201cthe worst thing is.\u201d Look, too, for strong body language<\/a>, like slumping or a distressed facial expression. These words and emotions are clues that, with additional probing, you can illuminate your client\u2019s fears or unmet needs, which can help you identify goals that your client wants to pursue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Coaching experts say that another way to help clients identify and set a goal is to directly ask them what\u2019s not going well in their life, what they\u2019re unhappy about, and what keeps them up at night<\/a>. Oftentimes a great goal is the opposite<\/em> of what your client says they\u2019re unhappy about. For example, if they say they feel lonely, their goal might be to make friends or find a partner.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Invite your client to change their goals if they have a revelation<\/strong>. If you notice that your client has a sudden realization that shifts or changes their goal in the middle of a session, welcome the change. A revelation might come in the form of a change of expression on your client\u2019s face, a long pause, or laughter. You can learn more about what they\u2019re experiencing by asking what led them to pause, or laugh. If that reveals that their thinking about their goal has changed, you can invite them to consider whether they want to revise their current goal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If they say yes, ask how their new way of thinking differs from how they\u2019ve thought about things up to this point, acknowledge the change, then have them restate the new goal clearly so you\u2019re both on the same page about it moving forward. If your client knows their goal has shifted but isn\u2019t sure what new goal to focus on, get them to commit to at least one action they\u2019ll take to move forward, like setting aside a time to identify a new goal for your next session. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Reynolds\u2019s recommendation that coaches welcome mid-session goal changes is embraced by coaches in boxing as well<\/a>. They argue that changing up goals can help boxers grow by pursuing bigger challenges they feel more passionately about, which can lead to greater development. Like Reynolds, boxing coaches help boxers uncover why<\/em> they\u2019re shifting their goal, because if they don\u2019t understand this, they\u2019ll lack the motivation to see the new goal through.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Help Clients Take Action<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Aside from focusing on goal setting during coaching sessions, Reynolds says that for clients to make meaningful life changes, you must get them to articulate what they learned during each session and commit to concrete steps they\u2019ll take to achieve their goals<\/strong>. Failure to do this makes it too easy for clients to forget what they learned and not follow through on their goals. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clients should have one goal in every session, even if that goal is simply to reflect on what they learned during the session. You can get clients to commit to a goal<\/a> by asking: <\/p>\n\n\n\n