{"id":87617,"date":"2022-12-29T14:52:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-29T18:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=87617"},"modified":"2023-01-03T11:48:01","modified_gmt":"2023-01-03T15:48:01","slug":"how-to-overcome-shame","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-overcome-shame\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Overcome Shame by Identifying Its Societal Roots"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How can you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-deal-with-shame-2\/\">overcome shame<\/a>? How does society encourage shaming?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn\u2019t)<\/em>, Bren\u00e9 Brown says that certain societal standards unfairly shame people for things beyond their control. To combat this, Brown recommends developing critical awareness of shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learn how to overcome shame with critical awareness below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-develop-critical-awareness-of-shame\"><strong>Develop Critical Awareness of Shame<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Brown explains that to learn how to overcome shame, you need to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/understanding-shame\/\">understand shame<\/a> with <em>critical awareness<\/em><\/strong>. Brown defines critical awareness (as it relates to shame) as an understanding of why we deem certain identities as shameful, how shame around these identities impacts society, who\u2019s most affected by the shame of identities, and who benefits the most from them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To develop critical awareness about shame, think of an identity that makes you feel ashamed. Which components of this shameful identity contradict society\u2019s or your inner circle\u2019s expectations? Then, think of the ideal you feel like you&#8217;re supposed to be living up to instead, and consider its impact on society at large: Who suffers because of this ideal&#8217;s existence, and who profits from it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, you may feel ashamed for looking \u201cpoor\u201d rather than \u201cupper-class.\u201d Looking \u201cpoor\u201d could mean wearing unfashionable clothes or owning outdated technology instead of always wearing new, fashionable clothes and having the newest technology\u2014these being things that society expects \u201cupper-class\u201d people to do. On a societal level, the shame around this identity causes people to judge each other&#8217;s worth based on the materials they own. This materialism probably serves to benefit big businesses at the expense of average people who feel ashamed for looking poor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Critical awareness makes you realize that most disdained identities are unfairly demonized and stem from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/impossible-expectations\/\">unrealistic expectations<\/a> that harm one group of people to benefit another.<\/strong> Brown explains that this realization helps you combat shame in a few ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First, it makes you understand that failing to meet unrealistic or unfair expectations <em>doesn\u2019t <\/em>make you defective (boosting <em>courage<\/em>). Second, it makes you realize that you\u2019re not the only person suffering from these expectations and pressures\u2014others are dealing with similar pain (fostering <em>compassion)<\/em>. Finally, sharing this realization with others can decrease the prevalence of shame and help de-stigmatize \u201cshameful\u201d identities (helping you <em>connect<\/em> with others).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Classical Conceptualization and Interpretations of Critical Awareness<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Originally, the concept of critical awareness, also called critical consciousness or critical perspective, was developed by a Brazilian philosopher, Paulo Freire, in an attempt to help students overcome academic oppression. He defined critical consciousness as <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC5892452\/\">the ability to recognize oppressive social constructs and expectations that shape society and take action to derail them<\/a>\u2014for instance, taking action to deconstruct the oppressive societal expectation of appearing \u201crich\u201d that we discussed above. While Brown\u2019s use of critical awareness applies specifically to \u201cshame\u201d rather than &#8220;oppression&#8221; as a whole, the underlying purpose of Brown\u2019s critical awareness remains the same\u2014to identify how and why people feel or are treated as lesser so that we can combat it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While some experts interpret Freiro\u2019s concept of critical awareness as only having one component, <em>reflection<\/em>, many experts interpret it as having two: <em>critical reflection<\/em> and <em>critical action<\/em>. Brown\u2019s explanation of critical awareness seems to fall into the two-component interpretation of the concept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Critical reflection<\/em> requires you to (1) think critically about accepted beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and assumptions, (2) determine the hidden interests underlying these constructs, and (3) identify how they impact everyday life. This process of reflection aligns with Brown&#8217;s recommendation on how to develop critical awareness of shame.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Critical action <\/em>requires you to act to minimize the oppression you discovered during your critical reflection. Experts note that critical action often manifests as women sharing advice, support, and information with each other. This process of critical action mirrors Brown\u2019s advice to use your critical awareness to share your insights, provide support to others, and de-stigmatize disdained identities to prevent them from causing shame (and to boost courage, connection, and compassion in turn).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can you overcome shame? How does society encourage shaming? In I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn\u2019t), Bren\u00e9 Brown says that certain societal standards unfairly shame people for things beyond their control. To combat this, Brown recommends developing critical awareness of shame. Learn how to overcome shame with critical awareness below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":34582,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,9,43],"tags":[841],"class_list":["post-87617","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motivation","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-i-thought-it-was-just-me-but-it-isnt","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Overcome Shame by Identifying Its Societal Roots - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Shame can come from unrealistic expectations that society has set upon us. 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