{"id":87603,"date":"2022-12-25T15:02:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-25T19:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=87603"},"modified":"2023-01-03T11:47:54","modified_gmt":"2023-01-03T15:47:54","slug":"brene-brown-empathy-definition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-empathy-definition\/","title":{"rendered":"Bren\u00e9 Brown’s Empathy Definition & Attributes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What is Bren\u00e9 Brown’s definition of empathy? Is empathy the solution to shame?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)<\/em> by Bren\u00e9 Brown, empathy’s definition consists of three parts: courage, compassion, and connection. She also suggests that empathy is the only way to overcome shame<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read below for a better understanding of empathy, according to Bren\u00e9 Brown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Empathy Is The Solution To Shame<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

What is Bren\u00e9 Brown’s empathy<\/a> definition? Based on her research, Brown argues that empathy<\/em> is the solution to shame<\/strong>. Brown defines empathy as using our own experiences to understand others\u2019 thoughts, feelings, and behaviors from their <\/em>perspectives without judgment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While we can\u2019t entirely avoid experiences of shame, Brown says that strengthening our ability to empathize with both ourselves and others makes us less reactive to shame and combats the feelings of fear<\/em>, blame<\/em>, and disconnection<\/em> that shame causes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Brown\u2019s definition of empathy departs slightly from the definition commonly used by psychologists. Experts consider empathy as having two forms: affective and cognitive<\/a>. Affective empathy is experiencing the feelings and emotions of another person. Cognitive empathy<\/a> is taking another person\u2019s perspective to identify and understand their emotions. While psychologists see affective and cognitive abilities as two separate forms of empathy, Brown asserts that both abilities are required to practice \u201cempathy.\u201d She also argues that empathy requires you to practice these abilities without judgment<\/em>, a component not included in many definitions.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brown says there are three components of empathy that combat the products of shame: courage, compassion, and connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Component #1: Courage<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Brown defines <\/strong>courage <\/em><\/strong>(what she calls \u201cordinary courage\u201d) as the ability to be your genuine self and confidently share that identity with the world<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Courage<\/em> is important because it combats fear<\/em><\/strong>.<\/em> People who possess courage<\/em> actively work towards accepting and expressing who they are by overcoming their fear <\/em>of certain identities. Because they value their authentic identity despite what others might say or think, people with courage are less likely to be consumed by fear and shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, imagine that you\u2019re a naturally curious person and you fear being identified as stupid. This fear might prevent you from exploring your curiosities, especially if someone calls you stupid for asking questions. However, with courage,<\/em> you\u2019ll have the ability to realize that your questions aren\u2019t stupid\u2014they\u2019re important to improving your knowledge. Courage will also encourage you to embrace your curiosity and keep asking questions rather than getting discouraged by someone\u2019s negative comment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Component #2: Compassion<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Brown defines <\/strong>compassion<\/em><\/strong> as the ability and willingness to empathize without judgment and face pain<\/strong>. Compassion<\/em> means looking at your own actions with understanding rather than anger and doing the same for others. It requires you to reflect on your pain and empathize with others by sharing the pain that they feel. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Compassion<\/em><\/strong> is crucial to overcoming shame<\/a> because it combats <\/strong>blame.<\/em><\/strong> First, practicing compassion<\/a> helps us avoid self-blame because we can acknowledge that our shame (and thus, our blame) is caused by our fears<\/em>, not by the fact that we\u2019re defective in some way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Experts explain that self-compassion<\/a> not only prevents self-blame but also improves your health, relationships, and general wellbeing by lowering levels of depression and anxiety<\/a>. You can boost your self-compassion with simple practices like comforting your body  (eating well, resting, and getting outside) or writing yourself a letter that describes the events of a painful situation without blaming yourself or anyone else.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, compassion prevents us from blaming others because it can help us see that other people are struggling with shame and fear, too. If the other person intentionally shamed us, it\u2019s probably because they\u2019re also experiencing the fear of certain identities. Blaming them won\u2019t help them to overcome this, and it won\u2019t heal our shame, either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, if someone shames you for being nerdy, having compassion<\/em> will help you avoid self-blame by helping you acknowledge that there\u2019s nothing wrong with your interests<\/a>: Rather, you\u2019re experiencing shame because of unjust societal standards. You\u2019ll also see that while the other person\u2019s actions might not be right, they\u2019re probably struggling with fear about being seen as \u201cnerdy\u201d as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Component #3: Connection<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Brown defines <\/strong>connection<\/em><\/strong> as the ability to share experiences and establish systems of mutual support with others.<\/strong> Practicing connection<\/em> both requires and strengthens the elements of courage<\/em> and compassion<\/em>\u2014to fully practice connection, you must be able to share your true self<\/a> with others (courage<\/em>), provide others with support and understanding without judgment (compassion<\/em>), and request that they do the same for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Connection <\/em>is crucial to overcoming shame because it combats disconnection<\/em>. When we share who we truly are, discuss our experiences and pain, and listen to others do the same, we realize that our experiences aren\u2019t that strange or rare. We realize that others have gone through similar experiences and that if we can accept others, they can accept us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Connection <\/em>therefore prevents us from intentionally disconnecting from others due to self-hatred or self-pity, unintentionally disconnecting from others by lashing out, and becoming disconnected from ourselves by pretending to be someone we\u2019re not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, someone who represses their interests because they think they\u2019re nerdy will likely become disconnected from their true self. However, if they practice connection <\/em>and share their interests with others instead, they\u2019re likely to form a deeper connection with themselves and <\/em>find a like-minded community that they connect with.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What is Bren\u00e9 Brown’s definition of empathy? Is empathy the solution to shame? According to I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) by Bren\u00e9 Brown, empathy’s definition consists of three parts: courage, compassion, and connection. She also suggests that empathy is the only way to overcome shame. Read below for a better understanding of empathy, according to Bren\u00e9 Brown.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":88245,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[841],"class_list":["post-87603","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-i-thought-it-was-just-me-but-it-isnt","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nBren\u00e9 Brown's Empathy Definition & Attributes - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Bren\u00e9 Brown's definition of empathy tells us how to defeat shame once and for all. 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