{"id":87597,"date":"2023-01-01T14:51:00","date_gmt":"2023-01-01T18:51:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=87597"},"modified":"2023-01-03T11:48:07","modified_gmt":"2023-01-03T15:48:07","slug":"i-thought-it-was-just-me-quotes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/i-thought-it-was-just-me-quotes\/","title":{"rendered":"I Thought It Was Just Me: Quotes by Bren\u00e9 Brown"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What are the best quotes from I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)<\/em>? What do these quotes tell us about shame’s influence on us?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In I Thought It Was Just Me<\/em>, Bren\u00e9 Brown discusses one of the most taboo topics of our culture: shame. She explains that shame is similar to embarrassment and triggers feelings of fear, blame, and disconnection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check out these I Thought It Was Just Me<\/em> quotes to get a better understanding of Brown’s take on shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Quotes From I Thought It Was Just Me<\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve all experienced situations that produce intense feelings of fear, blame, and disconnection and cause us to lash out at ourselves or others. Author and researcher Bren\u00e9 Brown explains that this intense feeling is called shame<\/em>, and it\u2019s a natural part of being human. However, allowing shame to control our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors wreaks major havoc on our health, happiness, and relationships. In I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn\u2019t)<\/em>, Bren\u00e9 Brown contends that to live a happy, empowered life\u2014and help others to do the same\u2014you must combat shame<\/a> by practicing empathy toward yourself and others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To get a brief idea of how Brown suggests we take down shame, we’re going to look at three of the best I Thought It Was Just Me<\/em> quotes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Shame leads to anger and blame<\/em>. This is because experiencing anger and assigning blame<\/a> allows us to expel the negative emotion of shame<\/strong>. Anger replaces the painful feeling of shame, and assigning blame allows us to direct that anger either inward or outward. Brown argues that blame in any form is unproductive because it expels negative feelings that make us believe we can’t change as people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we direct our anger inward, we blame ourselves for being defective in some way and ultimately deserving the shameful experience.<\/strong> For example, if someone makes you feel unattractive, you might escape the feeling of shame by directing your anger inward and blaming yourself for being foolish enough to ever believe that you were<\/em> attractive. Blaming yourself overrides the feeling of shame by inducing self-hatred and self-pity instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you want to make a difference, the next time you see someone being cruel to another human being, take it personally. Take it personally because it is personal!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

To constructively talk about shame, <\/strong>explain the identity that\u2019s causing your fear, how it makes you feel, why it makes you feel that way, and what kind of support you need instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, if you ask a question in school and a classmate makes you feel stupid by implying that your questions are dumb, you can explain to them: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen I ask questions and you say things like \u2018wasn\u2019t that obvious?\u2019, you really hurt me and make me feel stupid. I ask questions because I want to ensure that I fully understand topics, but when you make negative remarks like that, it discourages me from wanting to learn and creates a hostile environment. Instead, I\u2019d prefer if you either offered to answer my questions or remained quiet so the professor can answer them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCompassion is not a virtue\u2014it is a commitment. It’s not something we have or don’t have\u2014it’s something we choose to practice.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Brown defines <\/strong>compassion<\/em><\/strong> as the ability and willingness to empathize without judgment and face pain<\/strong>. Compassion<\/em> means looking at your own actions with understanding rather than anger and doing the same for others. It requires you to reflect on your pain and empathize with others by sharing the pain that they feel. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Compassion<\/em> is crucial to overcoming shame<\/a> because it combats blame.<\/em><\/strong> First, practicing compassion<\/a> helps us avoid self-blame because we can acknowledge that our shame (and thus, our blame) is caused by our fears<\/em>, not by the fact that we\u2019re defective in some way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, compassion prevents us from blaming others because it can help us see that other people are struggling with shame and fear, too. If the other person intentionally shamed us, it\u2019s probably because they\u2019re also experiencing the fear of certain identities. Blaming them won\u2019t help them to overcome this, and it won\u2019t heal our shame, either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, if someone shames you for being nerdy, having compassion<\/em> will help you avoid self-blame by helping you acknowledge that there\u2019s nothing wrong with your interests<\/a>: Rather, you\u2019re experiencing shame because of unjust societal standards. You\u2019ll also see that while the other person\u2019s actions might not be right, they\u2019re probably struggling with fear about being seen as \u201cnerdy\u201d as well.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What are the best quotes from I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)? What do these quotes tell us about shame’s influence on us? In I Thought It Was Just Me, Bren\u00e9 Brown discusses one of the most taboo topics of our culture: shame. She explains that shame is similar to embarrassment and triggers feelings of fear, blame, and disconnection. Check out these I Thought It Was Just Me quotes to get a better understanding of Brown’s take on shame.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":83725,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,9,43],"tags":[841],"class_list":["post-87597","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-i-thought-it-was-just-me-but-it-isnt","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nI Thought It Was Just Me: Quotes by Bren\u00e9 Brown - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Shame puts a damper on your mood, but you can overcome it. 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