{"id":87227,"date":"2022-12-18T18:06:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-18T22:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=87227"},"modified":"2022-12-21T16:30:02","modified_gmt":"2022-12-21T20:30:02","slug":"living-authentically","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-authentically\/","title":{"rendered":"Living Authentically: How to Be True to Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Are you being true to your authentic self? What does it mean to \u201clive authentically\u201d?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/be-your-authentic-self\/\">Living authentically<\/a> means being true to yourself no matter what. Embracing authenticity isn\u2019t always the safe option when it comes to pleasing others. However, the negative consequences of living inauthentically are much more severe than the criticism you may face for being authentic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With this in mind, here\u2019s why it\u2019s important to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/be-sincere\/\">be authentic<\/a> and how you can work towards authenticity.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-dangers-of-inauthenticity\"><strong>The Dangers of Inauthenticity<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/inauthentic-behavior-2\/\">Being inauthentic<\/a> is harmful to your mental health and your happiness. When you\u2019re pretending to be someone you\u2019re not for the sake of social approval, you disconnect from your true needs. As a result, two things happen:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-you-suppress-your-feelings\"><strong>You Suppress Your Feelings<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Bottling up your feelings for the sake of social approval leads to a number of unhealthy behaviors and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-break-negative-thought-patterns\/\">thought patterns<\/a>:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>You pretend to agree with others: <\/strong>Because you want to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-get-along-with-other-people\/\">get along with others<\/a> and receive positive feedback, you avoid disagreeing with them\u2014either by pretending to take their side or staying quiet. However, the more you avoid expressing your true opinions, the more insecure you feel in your relationships\u2014you never know if people like you for who you are or because you\u2019re validating their opinions.<\/li><li><strong>You agree to things that you don\u2019t want to do:<\/strong> Even though this approach garners positive feedback, doing things you don\u2019t want to do often makes you feel angry and resentful. However, because you\u2019re unable to acknowledge how your own thought patterns created these unwanted situations, you mistakenly assume that other people are <em>making<\/em> you do things that you don\u2019t want to do. This leads you to conclude that other people are to blame for your negative feelings. As a result, you don\u2019t feel accountable for your role in these unwanted situations and you believe that you\u2019re powerless to change them.<\/li><li><strong>You judge people who <\/strong><strong><em>do <\/em><\/strong><strong>express their disagreement:<\/strong> Because you believe that expressing disagreement is \u201cbad\u201d or \u201cwrong,\u201d you automatically dislike or feel uncomfortable around people who <em>do <\/em>express their disagreement. Instead of questioning why you feel this way, you assume that your opinion is valid and that <em>they should <\/em>change the way they act to make you feel better.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-your-pursue-the-wrong-goals\"><strong>Your Pursue the Wrong Goals<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>When you focus more on how you\u2019re perceived by others instead of how you really feel, you\u2019re compelled to pursue the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wrong-goals\/\">wrong goals<\/a>. As a result, two things happen:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>you spend most of your energy doing things to please or impress others. <\/strong>For example, you wanted to be a nurse but your parents wanted you to become a neurosurgeon because it sounded more impressive to them. So, you dedicated years of extra training to become a neurosurgeon instead of pursuing your desired path.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>you spend a lot of energy doing things that don\u2019t satisfy you or make you happy.<\/strong> For example, being a neurosurgeon leaves you joyless and unfulfilled, but you won\u2019t quit because you fear losing the admiration you\u2019ve worked so hard to attain.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class='book-template'>\nTITLE: 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think<br>\nAUTHOR: Brianna Wiest<br>\nTIME: 16<br>\nREADS: 21.8<br>\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/101-essays-that-will-change-the-way-you-think-cover.png<br>\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: 101-essays-that-will-change-the-way-you-think-summary-brianna-wiest<br>\nAMZN_ID: XYZ<br>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-barriers-to-living-authentically\"><strong>Barriers to Living Authentically<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Living authentically takes a lot of courage. Letting the world see who you truly are can be scary, not least because being authentic often throws up two major barriers:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Barrier #1: The fear of resistance from your loved ones<\/strong>. Living authentically requires you to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-change-your-behavior\/\">change your behavior<\/a>: specifically, to stop hiding <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/parts-of-the-self\/\">parts of yourself<\/a> and curb any inauthentic behaviors. You may fear that your loved ones won\u2019t accept this new, authentic you, and that this will damage your connections with them.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Authenticity Benefits Relationships<\/strong><br><br>If your loved ones were to react to your newfound authenticity in a negative way, you could respond by reassuring them that your move to authenticity isn\u2019t something to fear: It\u2019ll benefit them, as well as you.&nbsp;<br><br>For example, as <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/joshua-fields-millburn-minimalism\/\">Joshua Fields Millburn<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/ryan-nicodemus-minimalism\/\">Ryan Nicodemus<\/a> argue in their book <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/minimalism\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Minimalism<\/em><\/a>,<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/minimalism\/chapter-3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"> when a loved one is authentic, we feel more safe and secure in our relationship with them<\/a> because we know we\u2019re seeing\u2014and love\u2014their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-find-your-true-self\/\">true self<\/a>, not a false front. Your loved ones could experience this added security, were they to overcome their fear of change.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Barrier #2: The fear of challenging <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/societal-pressures\/\">societal expectations<\/a>. <\/strong>Society demands we conform to certain norms\u2014that we look, act, and think in a certain way. If your true, authentic self doesn\u2019t match up to society\u2019s expectations, you may be afraid to be yourself. What if people reject, criticize, or shame you for failing to conform? The fear of this happening isn\u2019t totally unfounded: societal expectations are so deeply ingrained in our culture that people often ridicule or shame those who fail to meet them.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Pushing Back Against Societal Pressure<\/strong><br><br>The pull to conform to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/norms-of-society\/\">social norms<\/a> can be strong. We often fear the pushback and rejection that can result from breaking convention. However, this is a fear we must overcome if we want to learn how to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/live-authentically\/\">live authentically<\/a>.&nbsp;<br><br>So, how can we resist the pressure to fit societal expectations? Many authors have attempted to answer this question. For instance, in his book <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/influence\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Influence<\/em><\/a>, Robert B. Cialdini suggests that<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/influence\/chapter-4\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"> you can fight the instinct to conform by critically analyzing the behavior that society is trying to push you to adopt<\/a>. Ask yourself, will this behavior benefit me in any way other than helping me to conform? If you find that it won\u2019t, you may feel more comfortable rejecting the behavior and acting in the way you want to instead.&nbsp;<br><br>Furthermore, in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/flow\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Flow<\/em><\/a>, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi suggests that<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/flow\/chapter-8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"> parents can specifically encourage teens not to conform to societal and peer pressure by showing unconditional acceptance to their children<\/a>: non-conformist traits and all. If teens receive this approval from their parents, they\u2019ll be less likely to seek it from their peers and thus less likely to conform to peer pressure. Presumably, if we raise self-accepting, authentic teens, they\u2019ll grow into self-accepting, authentic adults.&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class='book-template'>\nTITLE: The Gifts of Imperfection<br>\nAUTHOR: Bren\u00e9 Brown<br>\nTIME: 42<br>\nREADS: 112.4<br>\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/the-gifts-of-imperfection-cover.png<br>\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: the-gifts-of-imperfection-summary-bren\u00e9-brown<br>\nAMZN_ID: XYZ<br>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-live-authentically\"><strong>How to Live Authentically&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Overcoming the barriers to living authentically can be a challenging process as human beings are hard-wired to want to fit in with others, often by adhering to external expectations. For example, if you want to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-a-good-impression-on-people\/\">make a good impression<\/a> on a new co-worker, you may agree to every favor that they ask of you, even if it leads to unnecessary stress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re ready to shed your fake identities and begin living authentically, consider the following tips:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-be-willing-to-say-no\"><strong>Be Willing to Say \u201cNo\u201d&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>If someone asks you to do something that you don\u2019t want to do or don\u2019t feel you can do without overwhelming yourself, say \u201cno.\u201d <\/strong>You may frustrate some people when you begin to do this, but agreeing to do something you don\u2019t want to do builds the foundation for resentment. For example, if your friend asks you for help filing their paperwork on a Friday afternoon when you\u2019ve already worked a full 40-hour workweek, saying \u201cyes\u201d may lead to unnecessary frustration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To prepare yourself, practice saying \u201cno\u201d in the mirror, and bring notes with you when you\u2019re turning someone down. These habits allow you to become more comfortable in the situation and allow you to keep your emotions from clouding your judgment.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Note: This doesn\u2019t mean you have to say \u201cno\u201d <em>every<\/em> time someone asks you to do something for them. You can help people when they reach out but have a clear sense of your level of stress or exhaustion and don\u2019t overextend yourself.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-be-willing-to-say-yes\"><strong>Be Willing to Say \u201cYes\u201d<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Conversely, if you find a project or venture that you\u2019re genuinely excited about, say \u201cyes.\u201d <\/strong>Often, the prospect of imperfection or ineptitude may keep you from diving in. However, if you allow fear to dictate your behavior, you\u2019ll never be willing to try new things or engage with projects that excite you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, if you\u2019ve always been interested in taking a painting class, take a painting class. Though you may be afraid that your lack of artistic experience may lead to shame, you\u2019ll never know what benefits the class will provide if you never take the leap of faith.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-develop-a-mantra\"><strong>Develop a Mantra<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Create a simple mantra based on an authenticity goal.<\/strong> Repeat this phrase to yourself before entering high-stress situations to remind you to practice living authentically. For example, if your goal is to accept that your needs are important enough to say \u201cno\u201d to things, you could say to yourself, \u201cMy needs outweigh others\u2019 expectations.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-importance-of-authenticity-at-work\"><strong>The Importance of Authenticity at Work<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In modern organizations, everyone is forced to close off part of themselves in order to present a mask of professionalism. However, such dynamics erode trust and a sense of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/belonging-in-the-workplace\/\">belonging in the workplace<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On the other hand, companies that promote <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/authenticity-at-work\/\">authenticity at work<\/a> encourage people to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-in-the-present-moment\/\">be fully present<\/a>, quirks and all. With no hierarchy, colleagues relate to each other as adults and are able to see each other as people, not merely cogs in a machine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Without having to impress a boss every day, workers are more likely to be themselves. As a result, people trust each other more and feel more valued as employees, which feeds into their motivation to deliver their best performance.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-final-words\"><strong>Final Words<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Authenticity is the process of accepting ourselves for who we really are and abandoning the idea of who we think we\u2019re supposed to be. By placing value on your own needs and identity, living authentically helps you be at peace with both yourself and others.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>If you enjoyed our article on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-live-authentically\/\">how to live authentically<\/a>, check out the following suggestions for further reading:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/daring-greatly\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong><em>Daring Greatly<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most of us want Wholehearted, meaningful lives. What stops us? In <em>Daring Greatly<\/em>, Bren\u00e9 Brown suggests that what holds us back the most is the widespread belief that vulnerability is a weakness. If you can embrace your vulnerability, you\u2019ll find that it\u2019s actually your greatest strength. In <em>Daring Greatly<\/em>, you\u2019ll learn how to live a Wholehearted life and become a better leader, parent, and spouse in the process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-untethered-soul\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong><em>The Untethered Soul<\/em><\/strong><\/a><br>In <em>The Untethered Soul<\/em>, spiritual teacher Michael A. Singer, founder of the Temple of the Universe <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/eckhart-tolle-meditation-mindfulness\/\">meditation<\/a> center and a pioneering figure in the world of medical software, teaches you how to use your direct self-knowledge as an intuitive tool for spiritual awakening. Combining powerful principles with practical techniques, he shows you how to free yourself from false identities and live an enlightened life of peace, joy, creativity, and divine love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you being true to your authentic self? What does it mean to \u201clive authentically\u201d?&nbsp; Living authentically means being true to yourself no matter what. Embracing authenticity isn\u2019t always the safe option when it comes to pleasing others. However, the negative consequences of living inauthentically are much more severe than the criticism you may face for being authentic. With this in mind, here\u2019s why it\u2019s important to be authentic and how you can work towards authenticity.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":50072,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,6],"tags":[452],"class_list":["post-87227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-spiritual","tag-guides","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Living Authentically: How to Be True to Yourself - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Living authentically helps you be at peace with both yourself and others. Here\u2019s how you can work towards embracing authenticity.\u00a0\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-authentically\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Living Authentically: How to Be True to Yourself\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Living authentically helps you be at peace with both yourself and others. Here\u2019s how you can work towards embracing authenticity.\u00a0\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-authentically\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-12-18T22:06:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-12-21T20:30:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/self-limiting-beliefs.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"750\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"373\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"8 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-authentically\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-authentically\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"Living Authentically: How to Be True to Yourself\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-12-18T22:06:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-12-21T20:30:02+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-authentically\/\"},\"wordCount\":1804,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-authentically\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/self-limiting-beliefs.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Guides\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Psychology\",\"Spiritual\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-authentically\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-authentically\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-authentically\/\",\"name\":\"Living Authentically: How to Be True to Yourself - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-authentically\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-authentically\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/self-limiting-beliefs.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-12-18T22:06:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-12-21T20:30:02+00:00\",\"description\":\"Living authentically helps you be at peace with both yourself and others. 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