{"id":86721,"date":"2022-12-16T16:38:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-16T20:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=86721"},"modified":"2022-12-19T13:11:21","modified_gmt":"2022-12-19T17:11:21","slug":"how-to-be-content-with-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-be-content-with-life\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be Content With Life: 4 Tips From Steven Bartlett"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Want to know how to be content with life? How can you achieve a consistent feeling of contentment?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Steven Bartlett, many of us seek pleasure or happiness in life, but those feelings are short-lived. It’s important to learn how to be content with life to experience long-term satisfaction with what you already have, he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read on to learn Bartlett’s four tips for how to be content with life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Being More Content With Life<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em>, Steven Bartlett calls out the myth that you can find happiness, love, and wealth if you just follow three simple steps and a hack or two. Bartlett says the internet, social media, and algorithms have dazzled us into believing that we can have the perfect life if we just chase the \u201cright\u201d dreams\u2014a lie that pulls us off the path of genuine contentment, meaning, and fulfillment. To learn how to be content with life, he says it’s important to find true meaning in the goals you pursue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bartlett, a social media mogul and public speaker, was born in Botswana to a Nigerian mother and British father and raised in a predominantly white area in England. A university dropout, once so poor that he scavenged for food, Bartlett founded the successful internet company Social Chain at age 21 and was by all objective accounts \u201cliving the dream.\u201d But when wealth and fame didn\u2019t bring him happiness, Bartlett reevaluated his priorities. He wrote Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em> to warn against chasing false idols and encourage others to find contentment and success by being themselves and doing what has meaning to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#1: Take Responsibility<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Bartlett asserts that you\u2019ll feel more content with life and experience greater success when you take control of your emotions, accept responsibility<\/a> for problems you face, and acknowledge your weaknesses and failures. He says that the more control you feel you have in life, the more confident you are in your ability to navigate the challenges you face, and the more content, healthy, and independent you feel. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In contrast, people who blame and get angry at others for their problems are unnecessary hostages to their emotions and factors that they think<\/em> are outside of their control but, often, are not. The less control you feel you have in life, the more unhappy, helpless, and victimized you feel, because it seems as if outcomes are the luck of the draw and you unfairly drew the short straw. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Principle illustrated:<\/strong> Bartlett says he had an employee who continually complained to him about a client who regularly failed to pay his bills on time. When he reviewed this employee\u2019s process for collecting payments, however, Bartlett discovered that he hadn\u2019t posted due dates on his invoices. They reformatted the invoices together to include a due date, and three months later his employee reported that the client hadn\u2019t paid late since. By jumping to the conclusion that the client was to blame, Bartlett\u2019s employee gave up control of the situation. When he stopped pointing his finger and looked at his own practices, he took back control over the situation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Refuse to Be a Victim<\/strong>

In The 10X Rule<\/em><\/a>, Grant Cardone says that people who blame others (half the population) are unsuccessful because they\u2019re whiners and victims who are so busy making excuses that they can\u2019t take action<\/a>. He says that victims give their control to others and feel powerless to change anything, so never feel in control or confident in themselves.

Cardone says you can\u2019t control everything, but you can control how you respond to things\u2014and claiming control will allow you to act and improve your situation.Cardone says you can take control and responsibility in your life by thinking about ways to minimize and prevent problems from recurring\u2014which will help you avoid getting sucked into victim thinking. For example, if someone rear-ends your car you have a valid reason to be upset, but avoiding the victim role is more important than venting. So you should focus on figuring out how to avoid being rear-ended again. For example, take a less heavily trafficked route next time, leave yourself more time to get to your destination, and make sure you\u2019re paying attention<\/a> while you\u2019re driving.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

#2: Protect Your Time <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Bartlett argues that to learn how to be more content with life, you have to pay attention to how little time you have on earth, know your dreams and goals, and devote as much of your time and energy as possible to achieving them. He asserts that time is the most precious resource that exists<\/strong>\u2014it\u2019s the key to your well-being because it gives you the freedom to invest in things that matter to you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only you can control your time, and you should factor that reality into every decision you make and every action you take, because every choice either pushes you toward or away from your goals. Bartlett says you should make every decision with the urgency you\u2019d have if a timer was constantly in front of your face and you were watching the remaining minutes of your life on earth tick away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shorform note: Unlike Bartlett, many experts contend that fulfillment comes when you practice mindfulness<\/a>, the benefits of which include greater feelings of self control, improved mental clarity, and an increased ability to relate to yourself and others with kindness, acceptance, and compassion.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bartlett says that even as he wrote his book, competing interests like wanting to watch football or go to McDonald\u2019s to get a Big Mac flooded his head, but he ignored both because taking time to do those things would mean he\u2019d have less time to pursue the bigger goal that\u2019s part of the legacy he wants to leave behind\u2014writing the book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: The value of time differs from one culture to another<\/a>. For example, in America, a production-oriented society, time is money\u2014a scarce resource\u2014so efficiency is valued. In contrast, people from Spain and Italy are more concerned with the present moment than schedules and punctuality. And Japanese culture is focused less on how long things take and more on divvying up time in ways that adhere to priorities such as properness, courtesy and tradition.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#3: Make Decisions Rationally, Not Emotionally <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Bartlett argues that you should make difficult decisions<\/a> and react to crises from a place of calm analysis, not panic<\/strong>. Responding to challenging situations from a clear, rational headspace will help you to feel more content with life in the long run than if you react from a place of instability, which will only fuel more instability and unhappiness. He says that the only thing you control in the heat of challenging moments is how you react to them, not how they arose or what their outcomes will be, so you shouldn\u2019t waste time getting distracted by your emotions or how you feel about the situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: To respond to crises from a place of calm, not panic, you can try a strategy from Eckhart Tolle\u2019s The Power of Now<\/em><\/a> to disconnect from your emotions<\/a>: Use cues from your body, like clenched fists or a tight jaw, to notice anger you may feel, then observe the thoughts at the root of that anger. The mere act of observing<\/em> your emotion from a detached place, rather than simply being absorbed by feeling it, separates you from it.)     <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you have to make a difficult decision and feel yourself reacting emotionally, Bartlett says you should stop, take a breath, check in with friends to process the situation, then take the time you need to make your decision from a place of calm. If you find yourself in a crisis, you\u2019ll have less time to process information, so you should:   <\/p>\n\n\n\n