{"id":86690,"date":"2022-12-18T16:25:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-18T20:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=86690"},"modified":"2022-12-19T13:11:25","modified_gmt":"2022-12-19T17:11:25","slug":"happy-sexy-millionaire-steven-bartlett","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/happy-sexy-millionaire-steven-bartlett\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Sexy Millionaire by Steven Bartlett: Overview"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Looking for an overview of <em>Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em> by Steven Bartlett? What&#8217;s his <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wise-words-to-live-by\/\">advice for living<\/a> a more <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-a-fulfilled-life\/\">fulfilling life<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em>, Steven Bartlett explains why wealth and fame didn\u2019t bring him happiness. After reevaluating his priorities, Bartlett wrote <em>Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em> to warn against chasing false idols and encourage others to find contentment and success by being themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read on for an overview of Steven Bartlett&#8217;s <em>Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em> book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-happy-sexy-millionaire-overview\"><em>Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em> Overview<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In <a href=\"https:\/\/www.yellowkitebooks.co.uk\/titles\/steven-bartlett\/happy-sexy-millionaire\/9781529396508\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em><\/a>, Steven Bartlett calls out the myth that you can find happiness, love, and wealth if you just follow three simple steps and a hack or two. Bartlett says the internet, social media, and algorithms have dazzled us into believing that we can have the perfect life if we just chase the \u201cright\u201d dreams\u2014a lie that pulls us off the path of genuine contentment, meaning, and fulfillment.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/stevenbartlett.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Bartlett<\/a>, a social media mogul and public speaker, was born in Botswana to a Nigerian mother and British father and was raised in a predominantly white area in England. A university dropout, once so poor that he scavenged for food, Bartlett founded the successful internet company Social Chain at age 21 and was by all objective accounts \u201cliving the dream.\u201d But when wealth and fame didn\u2019t bring him happiness, Bartlett reevaluated his priorities. Steven Bartlett wrote <em>Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em> to warn others against chasing false idols and to encourage them to find contentment and success by following their true path.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">First, What Is a Happy, Sexy, Millionaire?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Before reading this overview, it\u2019s helpful to understand Steven Bartlett\u2019s definitions of \u201chappy,\u201d \u201csexy,\u201d and \u201cmillionaire,\u201d because he doesn\u2019t use the terms literally. Early in Bartlett\u2019s life, he thought if he were a sexy millionaire, he would be happy. When he later learned the true meaning (and source) of happiness, Bartlett clarified what each term <em>actually <\/em>means. According to Bartlett:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>\u201cHappy\u201d is an internal feeling of contentment in your life as a whole<\/strong> (not a momentary mood in a snapshot in time).<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>\u201cSexy\u201d is <em>the reason you want to be sexy<\/em><\/strong>\u2014in other words, so that you can find love, have love, and be loved by another for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/your-genius\/\">who you are<\/a>. <strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>\u201cMillionaire\u201d is a metaphor for success<\/strong>\u2014a subjective measure that\u2019s based on your personal goals and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-do-you-care-about\/\">what\u2019s most important to you<\/a>.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>With these definitions as a foundation, Bartlett argues that contentment, success, and love come when you:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Understand that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-good-are-you\/\">you are good<\/a> enough, all on your own<\/li><li>Are true to yourself and pursue goals that are meaningful to you&nbsp;<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Bartlett covers <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/happiness-and-success\/\">happiness and success<\/a> extensively in this book but doesn\u2019t go into great detail about love. Though he doesn\u2019t say it explicitly, we can infer that having an internal feeling of contentment, feeling good about and being true to yourself, and pursuing what\u2019s meaningful to you are all prerequisites to experiencing <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/genuine-love\/\">genuine love<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Know That You\u2019re Enough, Even When Society Tells You Otherwise<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em>, Steven Bartlett says that <strong>fulfillment is something that exists within you here and now<\/strong>\u2014it\u2019s not some elusive thing you achieve when you reach a certain <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/levels-of-success\/\">level of success<\/a>. He argues that we\u2019re born \u201cenough,\u201d but society bombards us with messages that say we\u2019re inadequate and need to fix ourselves. For example, corporations sell us things they say we need, schools and universities tell us we have to ascend to a more elevated level, and social media influencers say that we should do what they do to have a better life.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/you-are-a-badass\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>You Are a Badass<\/em><\/a>, Jen Sincero agrees with Bartlett\u2019s assertion that you\u2019re born \u201cenough\u201d and takes it a step further, arguing that <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/you-are-a-badass\/chapter-5#perfectly-imperfect\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">you were born\u2014and will always be\u2014a badass<\/a>. Sincero contends that the universe loves you unconditionally, wants you to see in yourself what it sees in you, and wants to give you everything you desire\u2014including happiness. She says that we all get to choose our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/perceiving-reality\/\">perception of reality<\/a>, and that when you have insecure moments, you should try looking at yourself from the perspective of someone who admires you and sees your potential and talents. Doing this will counter your negative feelings and make you your own biggest fan.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bartlett argues that when we compare who we are, what we do, and what we have<em> <\/em>to other people, it makes us miserable. This is because <strong>we don\u2019t know that anything\u2019s \u201cwrong\u201d with us until we see other people who appear happier, more attractive, more satisfied in their relationships, and more successful than we are<\/strong>. But, he says, nothing in the world actually has value until you assign meaning to it and compare it to something else. So, when you compare yourself to someone who appears <em>more<\/em> successful than you, you feel insecure, worthless, and powerless. Conversely, when you compare yourself to people who appear <em>less<\/em> successful than you, you experience a temporary feeling of pleasure that disappears. It\u2019s important to note that <em>pleasure<\/em>, a fleeting feeling, is not the same as the ongoing state of contentment.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Bartlett discourages <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/self-comparison\/\">comparing yourself to others<\/a> but doesn\u2019t go into detail about how to stop doing it. Experts say <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/meditation-modern-life\/202104\/we-do-better-when-we-re-not-comparing-ourselves-others#:~:text=we%20either%20feel%20a%20sense%20of%20inferiority,you%20take%20does%20not%20create%20lasting\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">you can step out of the comparison game by first acknowledging that you\u2019re engaged in it<\/a>. Recognizing that comparing yourself to others is a no-win game\u2014because there will always be someone smarter, funnier, better looking, or richer than you\u2014prevents you from getting trapped in it. You can also exit the comparison game by understanding that while it\u2019s nice when someone pays you a compliment, that doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re better than anyone else. Finally, you can free yourself from comparison by <em>being<\/em> yourself and doing things you care about, which will bring you true contentment.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Strive for <em>Your<\/em> Goals, Not Other People\u2019s Goals<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em>, Steven Bartlett says you should ignore the external brainwashing that comes from social media and television and instead turn inward to figure out what\u2019s meaningful to you. He argues that<strong> striving to achieve your own goals brings a sense of calm and contentment<\/strong>, even though pursuing your dreams inevitably comes with failure and rejection. In contrast, achieving the goals society says you should\u2014like getting rich and famous\u2014makes you feel lost and chaotic. This is because once you achieve society\u2019s goals, you have nothing left to strive for and the achievement doesn\u2019t have deep meaning.&nbsp;Bartlett recommends that you <strong>identify your goals by thinking about the one thing in life you want and value above all else<\/strong>\u2014the thing you\u2019d sacrifice everything for. Ask yourself why this is important to you. Once you know what it is and why it\u2019s crucial to your happiness, every decision you make should drive you toward that goal. If you don\u2019t, you\u2019ll get distracted, lose energy and focus, and diminish your chances of achieving your dream and ultimately finding fulfillment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Know Your Motivations<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>To feel fulfilled and find success, it\u2019s not enough to know <em>what <\/em>you\u2019re pursuing, you must also understand <em>why<\/em> you\u2019re <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/pursue-your-goals\/\">pursuing your goals<\/a>. In <em>Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em>, Steven Bartlett says we\u2019re not as attuned as we should be to this question of \u201c<em>Why<\/em>?\u201d because internet and social media algorithms have distorted our understanding of what should motivate us. They\u2019ve done this by bombarding us with\u2014and selling as the \u201cideal dream\u201d\u2014images of influencers as amazing people leading extraordinary lives. This effectively normalizes the flawed idea that to be happy, we have to do whatever it takes to be just like them.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, Instagram\u2019s algorithm will, by design, show your content to more people if it&nbsp; fits into one of the app\u2019s predetermined popular categories. As a result, a photo of a woman in a swimsuit will be shown to more users than a picture of you examining a mushroom. How this tricks you is that if you post both of these photos, one will get considerably more likes than the other, which warps your perspective of what other people find pleasing or acceptable.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Bartlett\u2019s concerns about the internet, social media, and algorithms brainwashing us are bolstered by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnbc.com\/2021\/02\/02\/hbo-fake-famous-how-instagram-influencers-.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">the bill of goods we\u2019ve been sold by influencers who fake their success<\/a>. There are documented cases of influencers faking private jet rides and posing in local mansions while pretending they are on exotic and expensive vacations. Some argue that all you need to be a social media influencer is a credit card\u2014that, and several thousand bot followers.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bartlett says that truly successful people\u2014those who experience consistent contentment\u2014are motivated by <em>internal factors<\/em> and doing things that they genuinely enjoy. This is because you feel most fulfilled when you genuinely care about the dream you\u2019re chasing and feel you have control over the way you pursue it. He cites research that finds that:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>People who pursue things that bring them authentic joy experience more lasting contentment than those who chase things that don\u2019t.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>People lose interest in activities they love when they\u2019re provided financial incentives to do them\u2014because the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-is-incentive-meaning-and-definition-economics\/\">incentive<\/a> negatively alters their motivation to do the thing they love.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Bartlett\u2019s Best Practices for Pursuing Happiness and Success&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In this overview of <em>Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em>, we\u2019ve discussed Steven Bartlett\u2019s arguments about how social forces have warped our sense of ourselves and our goals, and how reclaiming your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-find-your-true-self\/\">true self<\/a> and your own goals will increase your levels of contentment and feelings of success. Finally, we\u2019ll look at Bartlett\u2019s best practices for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/looking-for-happiness\/\">pursuing happiness<\/a> and success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Recommendation 1: Be Consistent<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Bartlett argues that <strong><em>consistently<\/em> taking <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/steps-to-achieving-goals\/\">steps to achieve your goals<\/a> is the under-acknowledged and underrated key to success<\/strong>. The more time and energy you regularly put into doing things that will help you reach your dreams\u2014even if the steps you take are small\u2014the more growth, momentum, and progress you\u2019ll experience.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Recommendation 2: Make Decisions Rationally, Not Emotionally&nbsp;<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Bartlett argues that you should <strong>make <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/making-hard-decisions\/\">difficult decisions<\/a> and react to crises from a place of calm analysis, not panic<\/strong>. Responding to challenging situations from a clear, rational headspace will land you in a more contented space in the long run than if you react from a place of instability, which will only fuel more instability and unhappiness. He says that the only thing you control in the heat of challenging moments is how you react to them, not how they arose or what their outcomes will be, so you shouldn\u2019t waste time getting distracted by your emotions or how you feel about the situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Recommendation 3: Take Responsibility&nbsp;<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Bartlett asserts that you\u2019ll experience greater contentment and success when you take control of your emotions, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accepting-responsibility\/\">accept responsibility<\/a> for problems you face, and acknowledge your weaknesses and failures. He says that the more control you feel you have in life, the more confident you are in your ability to navigate the challenges you face, and the more content, healthy, and independent you feel.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In contrast, people who blame and get angry at others for their problems are unnecessary hostages to their emotions and factors that they <em>think<\/em> are outside of their control but, often, are not. The less control you feel you have in life, the more unhappy, helpless, and victimized you feel, because it seems as if outcomes are the luck of the draw and you unfairly drew the short straw.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">A Final Word On Love<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>While Steven Bartlett doesn\u2019t go into great detail about how to obtain love in <em>Happy Sexy Millionaire<\/em>, he does believe that love is in the eye of the beholder\u2014meaning that there\u2019s no single, universal definition of what it is or what it means\u2014and that we should conceptualize love in a more nuanced way than we do. He argues that there\u2019s no way to develop a universal <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-is-love-according-to-platos-symposium\/\">definition of love<\/a> because every human being experiences and feels things differently.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, Bartlett says that his mother and father\u2019s often volatile relationship taught him that love and marriage are a prison you can\u2019t escape from. And although he\u2019s been in relationships, Bartlett says he remains unconvinced that he\u2019ll ever fully escape the deep-seated feeling that love is a form of entrapment.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td>Bartlett argues that there\u2019s no single, universal definition of love, but in <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-road-less-traveled\/preview\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Road Less Traveled<\/em><\/a>, M. Scott Peck contends that <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-road-less-traveled\/part-2#myth-1-love-is-a-feeling\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">genuine love is five specific things<\/a>:<br><br>1. An intentional action that you take to support another person\u2019s growth and well-being\u2014whether or not you feel a sensation of love for them.<br><br>2. A choice you make to be with someone\u2014even as you know that you\u2019re free <em>not<\/em> to be with them.&nbsp;<br><br>3. An extension of the self that centers on spiritual growth\u2014not an annihilation of the self.<br><br>4. A conscious, deliberate effort that leads to growth.<br><br>5. An entity that respects and honors the separation of the self and the other, and requires each party to fully and genuinely accept the other\u2019s individuality.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Looking for an overview of Happy Sexy Millionaire by Steven Bartlett? What&#8217;s his advice for living a more fulfilling life? In Happy Sexy Millionaire, Steven Bartlett explains why wealth and fame didn\u2019t bring him happiness. After reevaluating his priorities, Bartlett wrote Happy Sexy Millionaire to warn against chasing false idols and encourage others to find contentment and success by being themselves. Read on for an overview of Steven Bartlett&#8217;s Happy Sexy Millionaire book.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":86754,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,42,43],"tags":[833],"class_list":["post-86690","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","category-motivation","category-self-improvement","tag-happy-sexy-millionaire","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Happy Sexy Millionaire by Steven Bartlett: Overview - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Want an overview of Happy Sexy Millionaire by Steven Bartlett? 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