{"id":86591,"date":"2022-12-16T18:51:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-16T22:51:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=86591"},"modified":"2022-12-22T14:24:59","modified_gmt":"2022-12-22T18:24:59","slug":"stop-negative-self-talk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Negative Self-Talk &#038; Believe in Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Is your mind overwhelmed by negativity? What can you do to combat the tendency to think in negative terms? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The human brain is wired for negativity because it aids survival. However, you have the power to consciously override the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/negativity-bias-definition-examples\/\">negativity bias<\/a> and train yourself to maintain a positive outlook.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With this in mind, here&#8217;s how to stop <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/importance-of-positive-self-talk\/\">negative self-talk<\/a> or, at least, not take it seriously. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-eliminate-negativity-in-conversations-with-yourself\"><strong>Eliminate Negativity in Conversations With Yourself<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the biggest determiners of success is the way you speak to yourself.<strong> <\/strong>If you consistently talk to and about yourself with negativity, you\u2019ll <em>view<\/em> yourself negatively. A negative self-image will hamper your ability to perform successfully\u2014you can only perform up to the level you believe you can.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Many people believe that self-criticism is the best motivator of success because it makes them work harder and better. This is false\u2014<a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/making-change\/201712\/self-criticism-false-friend\">self-criticism leads you to hide failure and perceived weakness<\/a>, preventing you from learning and growing from your mistakes. Furthermore, when you only focus on your shortcomings, you\u2019ll inevitably be unhappy. Even if self-criticism helps you reach outward success, you won\u2019t experience success you enjoy or actually feel good about.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>To stop negative self-talk, first, recognize how you communicate with yourself.<\/strong> When you see negative thoughts about yourself for what they are, you can begin separating them from your self-image. As negative thoughts about yourself arise, stop them by setting a rule that you\u2019re not allowed to speak to yourself that way.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Additionally, instead of focusing on the problems that might hinder your success, <strong>focus on the solutions you can use to improve things.<\/strong> When you center your thinking around problems, they become bigger in your mind, and you make decisions based on fear.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, if there\u2019s something you don\u2019t understand at work, don\u2019t focus on thoughts like, \u201cI\u2019m not smart enough to do this,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t belong here.\u201d Instead, consider possible solutions, like finding resources you can use to research your question or thinking of people you can ask for help.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Common <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/negative-thinking-patterns\/\">Negative Thought Patterns<\/a> and How to Reframe Them<\/strong><br><br>The authors offer solutions-based thinking and setting rules as useful strategies for combating negative thoughts, but they don\u2019t expand on methods for <em>identifying<\/em> negative thoughts. You won\u2019t be able to put the authors\u2019 strategies into effect if you can\u2019t recognize negative thoughts as they arise. In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-success-principles\"><em>The Success Principles<\/em><\/a>, Jack Canfield <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-success-principles\/principles-32-33#learn-to-identify-negative-thoughts\">discusses common negative thoughts to look out for and ways to reframe them productively:<\/a><br><br><strong>Assuming someone thinks negatively of you.<\/strong> For example, you may assume someone\u2019s mad at you without knowing what they\u2019re really thinking. Reframe this thought by asking them how they\u2019re feeling instead.<br><br><strong>Thinking in absolutes with words like never, always, and everyone. <\/strong>For example, you might think, \u201cMy friend <em>never<\/em> considers my feelings.\u201d That probably isn\u2019t true, and you can reframe it by being more honest: \u201cIt hurts when my friend ignores my feelings, but she\u2019s been considerate before, and she will be again.\u201d<br><br><strong>Making yourself feel guilty.<\/strong> Thinking about actions in terms of \u201chave to\u201d and \u201cshould\u201d may make you feel guilty and reinforce your reluctance to do them. Instead of saying something like, \u201cI have to watch less TV at night,\u201d reframe the thought around your goals. For example, you might think, \u201cWatching less TV would help me sleep better.\u201d<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Is your mind overwhelmed by negativity? What can you do to combat the tendency to think in negative terms? The human brain is wired for negativity because it aids survival. However, you have the power to consciously override the negativity bias and train yourself to maintain a positive outlook. With this in mind, here&#8217;s how to stop negative self-talk or, at least, not take it seriously.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":77657,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[831],"class_list":["post-86591","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-organize-tomorrow-today","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Stop Negative Self-Talk &amp; Believe in Yourself - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Negative self-talk is one of the biggest obstacles to success. 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Here&#039;s how to fight negative self-talk or, at least, stop taking it seriously.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-12-16T22:51:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-12-22T18:24:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/stress-stressed-stressful-man-thinking.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1848\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1234\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"How to Stop Negative Self-Talk &#038; Believe in Yourself\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-12-16T22:51:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-12-22T18:24:59+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk\/\"},\"wordCount\":584,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/stress-stressed-stressful-man-thinking.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Organize Tomorrow Today\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Psychology\",\"Self-Improvement\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk\/\",\"name\":\"How to Stop Negative Self-Talk & Believe in Yourself - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-negative-self-talk\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/stress-stressed-stressful-man-thinking.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-12-16T22:51:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-12-22T18:24:59+00:00\",\"description\":\"Negative self-talk is one of the biggest obstacles to success. 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