{"id":86477,"date":"2022-12-12T12:42:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-12T16:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=86477"},"modified":"2022-12-19T11:57:54","modified_gmt":"2022-12-19T15:57:54","slug":"alcoholic-shame","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/alcoholic-shame\/","title":{"rendered":"Alcoholic Shame: Dealing With Guilt at Your Lowest"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What is the role of shaming in addiction? Why does alcoholic shame make the situation worse?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While alcoholism isn&#8217;t a disease people should want to have, it doesn&#8217;t help to shame those who are affected. In <em>Quit Like a Woman<\/em>, Holly Whitaker claims that shaming alcoholics only makes things worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&#8217;s why alcoholic shame does more damage than good, according to Whitaker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-alcoholism-is-a-shameful-disease-you-either-have-or-don-t\"><strong>Alcoholism Is a Shameful Disease You Either Have or Don\u2019t<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Whitaker believes that <strong>we\u2019re societally conditioned to view alcoholism as a terrible problem to avoid at all cost<\/strong>. As examples of this perspective, most people use alcoholic shame to push the idea that alcoholics shouldn\u2019t be employed, and many consider the word synonymous with more pejorative terms, like \u201cdrunk,\u201d \u201clush,\u201d or \u201caddict.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Perhaps in part because alcoholism is seen as such a heinous affliction, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.themanorclinic.com\/blog\/signs-of-a-functioning-alcoholic\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">many alcoholics try to hide their drinking from others<\/a>. They might do this by lying about what they\u2019ve been doing, hiding alcohol in odd places, and <a href=\"https:\/\/castlecraig.co.uk\/addiction\/alcohol-addiction\/hidden-alcoholism-and-secret-drinking\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">drinking secretly before a drinking event<\/a> to obscure their heightened tolerance for alcohol. Interestingly, <a href=\"https:\/\/yougov.co.uk\/topics\/health\/articles-reports\/2019\/01\/28\/brits-most-likely-lie-about-alcohol-gps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">people with alcohol problems lie more often to their doctors than to friends and family about their drinking<\/a>, which seems to indicate they fear an official diagnosis more than the judgment of loved ones.)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Whitaker claims that we also view alcoholism as a binary state: You\u2019re either a full-blown alcoholic, or you don\u2019t have a problem at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: While it may be true that we conventionally think of alcoholism as a binary, the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism does consider <a href=\"https:\/\/www.niaaa.nih.gov\/publications\/brochures-and-fact-sheets\/understanding-alcohol-use-disorder\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">alcohol use disorder to be a spectrum<\/a>. The institute describes the disorder as being mild to severe.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-viewing-alcoholism-as-shameful-makes-people-desperate-to-avoid-that-label\">Viewing Alcoholism as Shameful Makes People Desperate to Avoid That Label<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Our collective view of alcoholism leads to bad consequences: Whitaker believes that because the label \u201calcoholic\u201d carries so many negative connotations, <strong>people go to great lengths to persuade themselves they don\u2019t have a drinking problem when in reality, they do<\/strong>. For instance, someone might convince themselves that because they only drink on weekends, they can\u2019t be alcoholics, even though their weekend drinking always involves binging.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: There are <a href=\"https:\/\/steverosephd.com\/8-types-of-denial-in-addiction\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">many specific ways people persuade themselves they don\u2019t have a drinking problem<\/a>. One of these is through minimization, in which you downplay the seriousness of your drinking: You might tell yourself your drinking isn\u2019t as bad as other people\u2019s. You might also have an optimism bias that lets you believe, optimistically, you won\u2019t drink excessively the <em>next time <\/em>you go out\u2014even though you always do.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What\u2019s more, people feel that as long as they don\u2019t have symptoms of \u201ctrue\u201d alcohol addiction they can proceed to drink as they have been\u2014even though their drinking may well be seriously harming them. And they can only determine what \u201ctrue\u201d alcohol addiction is by measuring themselves against other drinkers because there\u2019s no standard diagnosis of alcoholism.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Whitaker here discusses society\u2019s <em>perception <\/em>of alcoholism and its symptoms. But as we saw earlier, alcohol use disorder is now measured on a spectrum, not as a binary state. And while it\u2019s true that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.verywellmind.com\/diagnosis-alcohol-use-disorder-67880\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">there isn\u2019t an official diagnosis of alcoholism<\/a>, there is an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/diseases-conditions\/alcohol-use-disorder\/symptoms-causes\/syc-20369243\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">extensive set of symptoms<\/a> you could check your behaviors against and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/diseases-conditions\/alcohol-use-disorder\/diagnosis-treatment\/drc-20369250#:~:text=While%20there%20are%20no%20specific,may%20be%20seen%20on%20tests.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">a relatively rigorous proposed approach for health care providers to assess a patient<\/a>. This includes asking about the patient\u2019s drinking habits, performing a physical check, doing lab tests, and conducting a psychological evaluation. Thus, if you wanted to, it likely wouldn\u2019t be as difficult as Whitaker proposes to have your relationship with alcohol professionally assessed.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is the role of shaming in addiction? Why does alcoholic shame make the situation worse? While alcoholism isn&#8217;t a disease people should want to have, it doesn&#8217;t help to shame those who are affected. In Quit Like a Woman, Holly Whitaker claims that shaming alcoholics only makes things worse. Here&#8217;s why alcoholic shame does more damage than good, according to Whitaker.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":16117,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,9],"tags":[830],"class_list":["post-86477","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","category-psychology","tag-quit-like-a-woman","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Alcoholic Shame: Dealing With Guilt at Your Lowest - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It doesn&#039;t help when people make alcoholics feel shameful about their condition. 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