{"id":86463,"date":"2022-12-09T12:40:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-09T16:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=86463"},"modified":"2022-12-19T11:58:05","modified_gmt":"2022-12-19T15:58:05","slug":"sober-lifestyle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/sober-lifestyle\/","title":{"rendered":"The 5 Steps to Living a Sober Lifestyle"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you want to live a sober lifestyle? What can you do to keep yourself from drinking?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you or someone you know have an addiction to alcohol, Holly Whitaker&#8217;s book <em>Quit Like a Woman<\/em> suggests setting up a long-term lifestyle that makes you happy. This lifestyle also protects you from people and things that could trigger addictive behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let&#8217;s look at the five parts of living this ideal sober lifestyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-part-1-put-yourself-first\">Part 1: Put Yourself First<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Whitaker insists that to live a sober lifestyle, you always <strong>put yourself first to ensure you\u2019re giving yourself the support you need<\/strong>. Stop trying to constantly please others (for instance, by responding immediately to all messages or doing someone else\u2019s work for them) because this depletes your energy and erodes your sense of self\u2014two things you need to stay healthy.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Putting yourself first can feel nearly impossible, which is why it might help to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.self.com\/story\/putting-yourself-first\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">recruit a personal supporter whose goal is to encourage you to prioritize yourself<\/a>. You can check in with that supporter before you have a difficult conversation with a friend or loved one about your needs. Even after <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-start-a-difficult-conversation\/\">having a difficult conversation<\/a>, your supporter can remind you how necessary it was to put yourself first in that scenario.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, set up boundaries that define what you are and are not willing to do for others, writes Whitaker. Sticking to those boundaries means you\u2019ll likely need to start saying \u201cno\u201d a lot. You may feel guilty about this at first, but after a while, both you and those around you will adjust to your boundaries (and those that don\u2019t will leave, to both your benefit).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/codependent-no-more\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Codependent No More,<\/em><\/a><em> <\/em>Melody Beattie provides another reason you need firm boundaries: When you let people get away with behavior you don\u2019t like for too long, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/codependent-no-more\/chapter-8#goal-3-set-strong-boundaries\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">you eventually become so upset and anxious about it that you stop tolerating behavior you\u2019d normally find acceptable<\/a>. You might thus alienate people who want to help and support you but just don\u2019t know your boundaries yet.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-part-2-assemble-a-set-of-tools-for-coping-with-low-moments\">Part 2: Assemble a Set of Tools for Coping With Low Moments<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Create a set of 10 healthy coping strategies that help you when you\u2019re feeling down, recommends Whitaker. These can be activities (like yoga and exercise), objects (like comfortable clothes and blankets), or foods (like teas or chocolates). Having these go-to coping strategies enables you to heal yourself without the use of addictive substances.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Beyond these self-administered coping strategies, it\u2019s likely also advisable to regularly see a therapist. This is because <a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/benefits-of-therapy#individual\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">a therapy session gives you the chance to get to the root of your negative thoughts and feelings<\/a>, rather than simply treating the symptoms with yoga or tea. Further, if you don\u2019t know where to start in assembling a set of self-administered coping tools, a therapist can give you ideas and help you implement them.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-part-3-take-care-of-your-health\">Part 3: Take Care of Your Health<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>To <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/maintaining-a-healthy-lifestyle\/\">maintain a healthy lifestyle<\/a> over the long term, follow the simple, conventional guidelines for healthy living, writes Whitaker: Eat well, sleep well, drink plenty of water, and exercise regularly.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Tending to your physical health is particularly important in recovery because addictive substances can wreak havoc on your body\u2014for instance, <a href=\"https:\/\/ranchatdovetree.com\/blog\/health-builds-success\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">by creating gastrointestinal problems and nutritional deficiencies<\/a>. You\u2019ll need to treat your body well to <em>first <\/em>heal any damage and <em>then<\/em> to thrive in the long term.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-part-4-fill-your-life-with-other-forms-of-fun\">Part 4: Fill Your Life With Other Forms of Fun<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Find forms of fun to replace the old, self-destructive ways you had fun, recommends Whitaker. These can be \u201cnormal\u201d activities, just without the addictive substance (eating out, going to museums, picnics), childish activities (visiting a theme park, bouncing on a trampoline, goofing around with friends), or spending quality time alone (with a good book, show, or craft).&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-happiness-project\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Happiness Project<\/em><\/a><em>, <\/em>Gretchen Rubin provides advice on how to find activities that will be genuinely fun for you. She first suggests <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-happiness-project\/1-page-summary#method-1-seek-out-more-of-whats-fun-for-you\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">listing activities you currently consider \u201cfun\u201d and asking yourself if they really are enjoyable for you<\/a>. Then, stop doing anything that\u2019s not <em>actually <\/em>fun. Additionally, as Whitaker proposes, consider how you used to have fun as a kid, and ask yourself if you can take up any of those activities now.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-part-5-engage-constructively-with-cravings-when-they-arise\">Part 5: Engage Constructively With Cravings When They Arise<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Whitaker asserts that cravings will arise but that you can cope with a craving by 1) accepting it, 2) ignoring the negative narratives you\u2019ve woven around the craving (such as the belief that you can never resist cravings, that cravings mean you\u2019re weak, and so on), 3) exploring the physical sensations of the craving\u2014for instance a tightness in your chest, clenched fists, or other physical changes, and 4) waiting the craving out by not acting on it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-willpower-instinct\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Willpower Instinct<\/em><\/a><em>, <\/em>Kelly McGonigal provides additional context on why we get cravings and why they\u2019re so hard to ignore. She attributes cravings to a psychological phenomenon called <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thought-suppression\/\">ironic rebound<\/a>: <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-willpower-instinct\/chapters-9-10\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The more you try not to think about something, the more you think about it<\/a>. Thus, the more you try not to think about having a drink, the more you want the drink\u2014you crave it. McGonigal\u2019s approach to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-deal-with-cravings\/\">dealing with cravings<\/a> aligns with Whitaker\u2019s: Because trying to ignore a craving only makes you obsess over it more, it\u2019s more effective to <em>accept<\/em> the craving and ride it out without acting on it.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you want to live a sober lifestyle? What can you do to keep yourself from drinking? If you or someone you know have an addiction to alcohol, Holly Whitaker&#8217;s book Quit Like a Woman suggests setting up a long-term lifestyle that makes you happy. This lifestyle also protects you from people and things that could trigger addictive behavior. Let&#8217;s look at the five parts of living this ideal sober lifestyle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":71965,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,42,43],"tags":[830],"class_list":["post-86463","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","category-motivation","category-self-improvement","tag-quit-like-a-woman","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The 5 Steps to Living a Sober Lifestyle - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Is your goal to live a sober lifestyle? 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